I don't mean anything to her. Her contacting me is 100% self serving.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
it is obviously easier to get a message that gives u the power to know she is hurting too, although only helpful at first, for you not hearing from her at all lets you get past her quicker instead of dragging it out.
my ex wife bpd reached out to me for 7 years off and on post divorce, texts, emails, calls, voicemails, crying, begging, friends messaging for her...i have NEVER responded once and it has all been matter of fact thinking, like a cold blooded killer because that ***** betrayed me, wanted to be married and be a family with me and my son and then 8 months later didnt do **** but bail.....never around, i packed her up and told her come get her **** and if her dad wanted to stop by and be a problem i would happily stomp him into the ground in front of her. he showed up and was an angel to me, her brother told me i should have kicked her out sooner......
point of the ranted story is you are LUCKY to be away from her, dont feel hurt she hasnt reached out, she is just a cold ***** and you are lucky......
how about my new ex, nc for 11 days as i broke things off after a month of her bipolar ass tyring to win me back, texted my teenage son Sunday night......haha....these bitches will go to extremes and have NO soul......Thank God there are good girls out there, if there werent none of us would know how bad some of these girls are to contrast them to...
good luck
xstang77
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Oh this was my bpd ex, I haven't heard a peep from the one I talked with you about. It does make you feel good that they reach out for a little while until you realize it's sad how fvcked in the head the bpd birds are, mine is boringly predictable just always know she won't do what she says or plans, only know it's actually happening until she's at my house bent over undressing while I grab her. Same crap talking about our engagement sharing fb memories with me and all this talk of our love to getting back with her most recent ex the next day. Same predictable boring crap which might get you layed once in a while if you dare to step back on the c0ck carousel.
Just dont get her pregnant. Your life would be ruined.
xstang77
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Oh no doubt, lucky for me she's unable to get pregnant due to confirmed health reasons, sucked getting over that one, the most recent one is a lot tougher though when you actually lose something of value and that actually treated you right.
Roober
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Thats just messed up... should probably block!
Carpathian
Senior Don Juan
^^^^^
Good for you. You should be GLAD she hasn't contacted you, believe me. Makes it MUCH easier for you. It hurts for a bit but you recover, dust yourself down and move on. When the b1atch starts texting you, telling you they miss you and all that sh1t it is THEN it gets difficult. Trust me 100% when I tell you if you ignore her she will contact you again and you will be tested.
Roober
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And ya know. Have gone out on several dates recently, and all of them want a second date, both a good problem (I'm a solid dude, her loss) and bad (I don't have time for them). I used to think my ex was rockin in the sack, but the woman I laid on Monday did almost the exact same things, but she could ride wayyyyyy better. Only other partner I had before my exgf in the last 10 years was my exwife, and that was no bueno. New experiences certainly put things into perspective...
Time will decide if she decides to reach out. Either way, the secks has helped increase that rift exponentially... I can't even really remember what she looks like.
To others out there, get off social media completely. That was holding me back a bit, and it is a complete waste of time.
xstang77
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Where are you guys finding dates so easily? Maybe it's a location thing for me, I'm really struggling never been this depressed in my life to where I'm almost having anxiety attacks over the situation and the loneliness. I live alone and have no friends all moved away.
Allow yourself to be sad but when u feel an attack like that come on make sure u do something to occupy your mind. Video games, lift, run, hit a heavy or speed bag, put in a movie. Something to occupy your mind. Call a sister and talk. I find getting a little fire and anger going is good sometimes when u start feeling that low as it pulls u up from that a bit.
Roober
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It certainly isn't easy. 4 of the 5 I have gone on dates were from OLD. the other I met at my son's Bday party. Just start cold approaching. You see an attractive woman, SAY SOMETHING! Eye contact, smile and "how are you doing?" Trust me, rejection is better than regret. Even if you don't number close or do anything more than that, you can tell when a woman is interested and that alone does wonders for boosting you up.
Quit wasting time...
-If you are not working, at the gym, or or sleeping.. get the fvck out of your house...
-when you lift, focus! no more pvssying around like you've done in the past. It better fvcking burn like hell
-No TV
-No videogames
-Read, read, read
-talk to people!!! friends or family, even if calling or texting
-go make new friends - volunteer for local events, meetup.com, be a regular at a bar (not to get drunk!)
-like any skill.. you need to practice, practice, practice
I need to do more cold approaches to be honest as OLD is rough for us average looking guys without good pics. I get mostly 6-7s which is 90% of the population on OLD. I only did two last week (one number close), and I haven't done any this week... sigh... I tried one with my boys this week, but they were wayyyy to rambunctious and I had to jet.
Try DJ boot camp!
Also try this: If you make eye contact with ANYONE... smile and say something! I have started doing this daily with random azz people, and gotten into some good convos...
Carpathian
Senior Don Juan
OLD is a brutal business alright. It can work well but you have to be patient and have a thick skin at times. Women flick through the ads and the hundreds of messages they get per day looking for things to dislike, not the other way round.
It is harsh when a woman looks at your profile (especially if you winked/messaged them first to get them there) and they don't wink or message you back - i.e. they discount you. It makes you feel small. It is brutal. My hit rate in terms of getting some correspondence going from female ad surfers on match.com was about 15% from my records. I hear some guys it is almost zero...
One thing is for sure; the semi decent women on OLD get completely inundated.
I met my current GF on OLD and have been with her for seven months. I practice my day-game all the time now as a part of my life in the manner you describe @Roober Sometimes you get totally blanked by women. You gotta get through the "no's" to get through to the "yes's".
Even if you are having a bad patch with no sex (other than your right hand) that is still no reason to reach out to the ex or go weak if she messages you. I know it is hard if you need a BJ but got to think the long game. You will move on eventually - you have to be patient.
It is harsh when a woman looks at your profile (especially if you winked/messaged them first to get them there) and they don't wink or message you back - i.e. they discount you. It makes you feel small. It is brutal. My hit rate in terms of getting some correspondence going from female ad surfers on match.com was about 15% from my records. I hear some guys it is almost zero...
One thing is for sure; the semi decent women on OLD get completely inundated.
I met my current GF on OLD and have been with her for seven months. I practice my day-game all the time now as a part of my life in the manner you describe @Roober Sometimes you get totally blanked by women. You gotta get through the "no's" to get through to the "yes's".
Even if you are having a bad patch with no sex (other than your right hand) that is still no reason to reach out to the ex or go weak if she messages you. I know it is hard if you need a BJ but got to think the long game. You will move on eventually - you have to be patient.
xstang77
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I find the attacks happening when I get out of my solitude and go to a store just to be around and see people, it feels like it's making me more and more distant from my ex, I talk to family but they don't know what to say and are tired of hearing about it. I just want to let her know that I was willing to move out to her area. I'm just in shock how she didn't even try to talk things out and kicking myself for acting cool and understanding about it.
Carpathian
Senior Don Juan
Don't alienate your family and friends with constantly going on about your breakup. After a while they just do not want to hear about it.
Dude, you have to let it go and meet another woman. It is her fukking loss.....
xstang77
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I'm just stuck on how great of a score she was and how short lived it was to end so abruptly with no closure. It's crazy lonely and so difficult to meet interested females in my area.
Glassguy
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In the end, it doesnt matter if she tried to talk things out or not. Her mind was made up and you were not going to change it.
You and your own emotions are all that you can control, so get them back NOW. Believe me, you did the right thing by acting cool and understanding about it. I hope you had a smile on your face and told her thanks for her being the one to end it so you didnt have to.....
You can decide, today, whether you are going to sit around and mope about this or move on. Tomorrow you will make the same decision and so forth. Trust me, eventually you will wake up with someone else on your mind and she will only enter your thoughts on rare occasions, most likely not good thoughts either.
The faster you decide to stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, thinking about "why" she did this or that, the faster you are going to get recharged to get back out there and find someone BETTER than she was. You will test drive a few, most wont work out, eventually you will find someone who you want to have an actual relationship with. During that time you should be working on mastering your frame. Get your game back and most importantly, make sure it is solid enough that when you do get into another relationship again (and you will) you will be in control and not go from mystery/challenge to a doormat and be in this position all over again.
Keep your chin up and hang in there. Make today the day that you start getting over it and moving on.
Apparently she wasn't that great or she would be around.
Do what u need to do to stay away from those feelings of anxiety and attacks.
I don't suffer from attacks tho my son has adhd and at 17 when he gets that anxiety and that feeling comes on , playing a video game for a bit or shooting pool or riding the ex bike immediately alleviates that attack. It's like he can get focused on something immediately to slow it down. Not sure it that will help u but doubt laying in a bed will.
Something that helped me get thro a divorce 10 years ago was when i found that lonliness and depression creeping in hard i would watch numerous episodes of scrubs to make myself laugh.
Find something.
Carpathian
Senior Don Juan
Dude, you need to get a grip. You have oneitis massively. You have to pick yourself and get out there. Crazy lonely? Dude, WTF are you doing all day? Get down the gym, running club, cycling club, triathlon, baking, get back to school/college, learn Slovak
, get reading. FFS man, there is a ton of stuff you can do, the world is your oyster, a load of ways to meet new people. Even if many of them are guys, no matter - somone, some day may have a cute friend or sister. GET THE FVKK OUT THERE and stop feeling so goddamn sorry for yourself.