The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[MasterAce]

I've just realized it's been 100 days NC.
Here's to the next 100. NC is my control and I'll never relinquish it for a needy, insecure mess.

 

[exhausted]

9 days. Struggling.
Unresolved questions.

 

[Roober]

9 days. Struggling.
Unresolved questions.

It is cetainly not easy. Make sure you

-have a good group of people to talk to
-get to the gym, or just exercise
-get out and do things
-Read
-journal

lots of ways to get it out. If you need a day or two to just veg and let it all pour out, then do it. It has been 2 months for me, and I still think about her every day. The way you think about them changes though. It's more of an afterthought than that longing desire to have them with you.

Stay strong! It is not easy, but it will make you a better man in the end!

 

[exhausted]

9 days is nothing after a 3 year relationship. Give yourself 6 months to heal. The next 50 days are going to be rough, sorry to say. You will have setbacks farther out than that, as well. But you will heal.

You probably have PTSD from her bipolar/narc rage outbursts. Try to address that.

Try not to blame yourself for being fooled, it happens to just about everyone.

Some of her insults are in your subconscious and you need to root them out, even if you don't consciously believe them bc you know she's crazed.

Thanks.
I know I have been through worse, divorced from a borderline pd ten years ago after only one year of marriage, then single spinning plates for seven years until I met this girl, just felt I had more to offer than bang girls all over the place.
The emotional instability, outbursts and such are very hard to handle, I think however what I am missing at this point is that roller coaster of resolving the tension or problem. If that makes sense. They say bipolar gives the relationship up and downs and its the ups that you are addicted to receive to set things straight or at ease so to speak.
I however initiated the NC, after a month of her trying to get me back, and immediately blocked her, though I have that stupid unresolved feeling.
It is pathetic really.

 

[exhausted]

It is cetainly not easy. Make sure you

-have a good group of people to talk to
-get to the gym, or just exercise
-get out and do things
-Read
-journal

lots of ways to get it out. If you need a day or two to just veg and let it all pour out, then do it. It has been 2 months for me, and I still think about her every day. The way you think about them changes though. It's more of an afterthought than that longing desire to have them with you.

Stay strong! It is not easy, but it will make you a better man in the end!

Thanks, this site helps tremendously. I have been blessed/cursed with an analytical mind where it is a struggle not to resolve things, finish problem solving, puzzles, **** like that so I have trouble not putting all pieces together in situations.
No appetite yet, hard to have energy to get out and do things.
At this point, 38 years old, I am tired of having to go through the ropes of meeting a girl, chatting her up, having to learn about her, assess, evaluate and vet her, her family, friends, orbiters, go through the 6 months of progressing and not progressing, vetting and all that bull****.....Seriously I think I have been through just too many girls, str, plates, ons, ltr's, I am worn out and tired of all the bs to it all. It is exhausting

 

[exhausted]

Of course, especially if it mirrors our childhood. I knew logically that something wasnt right but it was so oddly comfortable...

That feeling of "relief" when you "resolve" a problem or fix a mini-breakup after some bogus fight is addicting, and of course the good times are good. Thats not to say there isnt that seething bitterness underneath it all where you learn to really dislike them for being a disruptive force as well.

Makes sense.
My oldest sister is bipolar. As a kid i remember many times her freaking out on us (2 other sisters or parents) or me and i would just go somewhere else rather it be another part of the house and I remember many times getting my bike before i could drive and just go ride out of there to get away from all that.
Now makes even more sense when this girl had her outburts i would just drop her off and leave or go home early from her house ending the day. At first i never did that i always tried to resolve things but soon realized that it wasnt possible for awhile. I would leave and hear from her later appologizing and such returning from the manic state, genuinely tho.
My sister today has a very kind and loving heart despite her bipolar behavior, this is why i put up with this girl for almost 3 years. I just felt she couldn't help it and maybe she could be more good than bad. Wrong.
Stupid of me as she would not take meds consistently either.

Let this be a lesson to everyone. Don't try to be accepting or helpful to a girl with mental illness just gtfo of that situation asap.

 

[narcissist]

About to break up with my girl in an hour. It just time. She's changed. Not girlfriend material any more. Plus its co dependence. Down hill from here. Not about to drag it out. Quick and painless. Will be posting here every day.

 

[Roober]

About to break up with my girl in an hour. It just time. She's changed. Not girlfriend material any more. Plus its co dependence. Down hill from here. Not about to drag it out. Quick and painless. Will be posting here every day.

Good luck man! Not an easy thing to do!

 

[exhausted]

About to break up with my girl in an hour. It just time. She's changed. Not girlfriend material any more. Plus its co dependence. Down hill from here. Not about to drag it out. Quick and painless. Will be posting here every day.

Good luck and check in daily for sure. Great support here.

 

[xstang77]

I've lost count, haven't heard from her since the break up on dec 5th, it's eating me up alive, they say you get better or you get bitter, I'm getting bitter.

 

[narcissist]

Good luck man! Not an easy thing to do!

Good luck and check in daily for sure. Great support here.

Just did it about 2-3 hours ago. It was hard for her, but ultimately it was the right decision.

So here is to day 1!

 

[finality]

Day 12.

Ex just texted commenting on my FB status and then sent me another text trying to manipulate me to respond to her.

But I can't. NC is hard but it must be done.

 

[exhausted]

9 days is nothing after a 3 year relationship. Give yourself 6 months to heal. The next 50 days are going to be rough, sorry to say. You will have setbacks farther out than that, as well. But you will heal.

You probably have PTSD from her bipolar/narc rage outbursts. Try to address that.

Try not to blame yourself for being fooled, it happens to just about everyone.

Some of her insults are in your subconscious and you need to root them out, even if you don't consciously believe them bc you know she's crazed.

So my son tells me yesterday she contacted him sunday night thro text, being sweet telling him she sent a package for my dog and to not let me throw it away (i have a german shepherd i got when we first started dating so she loves her) anyways she told my son she misses all of us so much and even tho she isnt around if he needs anything lwt her know and to give his nana (my mom) a big hug.

Not sure if she is reaching out to me for attention or to be a ****kk as i refused her xmas presents to me weeks ago.

Either way i am not responding.

 

[exhausted]

devious as fvck

Im taking it as she is sufferring and reaching out for some response to me.
Good let her suffer.

 

[narcissist]

Day 2. Horrible sleep. Couldn't sleep at all. I didn't think it would hit me like that. She called me 20ish times last night. And sent me about 5-6 texts.

Deleted them all. Deleted all photos. Gave her all her stuff when I saw her.

 

[exhausted]

Day 2. Horrible sleep. Couldn't sleep at all. I didn't think it would hit me like that. She called me 20ish times last night. And sent me about 5-6 texts.

Deleted them all. Deleted all photos. Gave her all her stuff when I saw her.

Stay strong

 

[finality]

Day 13.

Another text. BPD gunna BPD

 

[xstang77]

Day 13.

Another text. BPD gunna BPD

Rest assured it doesn't stop, mine showed up at my door after 3 months of ignoring her.

 

[finality]

Rest assured it doesn't stop, mine showed up at my door after 3 months of ignoring her.

Mine has done that at least 3 times during past recycles. It's just not worth it to stay in contact.
Peace of mind is everything.

 

[Roober]

Mine has done that at least 3 times during past recycles. It's just not worth it to stay in contact.
Peace of mind is everything.

LOL at least you guys got something. Mine dropped me and I haven't heard a peep. I imagine she is just a regular old heartbreaker...

Not sure if it is easier to get messages and ignore them knowing you have control or don't get anything and feel like you meant absolutely nothing to her...