The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Chev.Chelios]

My ex sent me a text 3. Days ago asking me how I was but nothing on a in Christmas ****INg ****

what? lol

 

[Carpathian]

I was at Day 16.... my story is f'd and complicated. To sum it up... I'm married. I seperated from my wife and dated this girl for about a month but we had worked together for about 7 months so the feelings were already there.

Anyway she dumped me BC she wasnt over her abusive BF..... a few weeks later my wife wanted to start dating again so I did. My wife is the better catch out of the 2 for a lot of reasons.

But this girl insisted on ending things badly. She took the nuclear option and just caused a bunch of drama. For months I would try to check in, say hi, say I hope all is well and just try to stay in contact BC I did really like her, but she would respond with venom.

To this day I don't understand it. In the end it is her loss. My wife and I are having our 2nd child in April. I did email this girl xmas eve (broke my 16 day NC). I just said hi I hope all is well. I just wanted to see how things were going and wish you a merry xmas. Still no response. Which is typical. That's basically been the protocol since she found out my wife was pregnant.

It's like she dumped me in the rudest f'ing way and then it was like she was mad at me for getting back with my wife a few months afterwards. Like WTF? Were you expecting me to wait for you? When she found out my wife was pregnant it's been radio silence.

I can't help for feeling bad about how it ended but it wasn't my doing. So her loss. Off to better things.

Dude, You keep saying "it's her loss". Are you trying to convince us or convince yourself? Sounds like the latter to me. Put this woman behind you, try to forget about her and be 100% NC to her. I know it's hard but that is what you MUST do.

Also, you are reconciling with your wife, she is having your baby, and you seem to be pining for the b1atch who dumped you? Man, I question your priorities. Do you not want this baby and your wife? If you truly want to reconcile you should be welcoming the love of your wife with open arms and caring for her whilst she is pregnant. Or is there some serious problem there as well?
Get your priorities right dude.

 

[Carpathian]

Ex sent me a personalised Christmas message, which was weird given she'd blocked me two weeks ago for no apparent reason. I ignored them. Was having too good a day to bother responding.

Ex sent me another message today of an inside joke picture. Didn't reply. Haven't spoken in nearly two weeks and don't intend to.

I don't think I can have a truly "fulfilling" relationship with another chick until I flush out my ex completely. 60 days shouldn't be a problem.

Looking forward to seeing two of my new plates when I head back to my city later this week. The great thing about them is they are both so different from each other, excite me for different reasons and have their own little quirks and eccentricities.

@BeTheChange Is this the woman from summer who you said you were abusive to? Did you get back together?
I agree what you say, nevertheless. You have to have a good 60 days to flush out the evil toxins from the old relationship to start to make sense of a new woman and a new situation.

 

[Roober]

Holidays were rough, thought about her a lot. Been going over and over about how I should have been stronger and more alpha then, and things would have worked out differently. Can't get over the feeling that I threw away a good thing... I know she had some flags and things I didn't like, but I still feel like we had a good thing that could have gone the distance. The fact of the matter is she backed off and didn't communicate, therefore I never knew how to handle it. I handled it by getting more needy and bringing our relationship into question a couple times. Each time, I never got the answers I wanted, or we just didn't really talk about it.

I feel like now I have to accept that I made some mistakes and that was really the point of our relationship. To correct my behaviors and communicate better with women. There is nothing I can do or say that will make her want to come back...

 

[wonderer]

Day 10 of NC.

I was with the girl for 4 months. The first 3 months were great, she would buy me gifts, kino me, make time for me, could not sleep before seeing me, wished she could see me everyday. I played with her emotions, I would not speak to her for days. She started seeing someone else and went cold on me, she then started to insult me and told me about him, she blocked me. It was all my fault.

She then came back to me after he left for his home country, I was the plan B. I was kissing her again, I never slept with her because I thought she was a virgin, she told me about how she f*cked him. It killed me. I went a bit more beta to try and be different than before and learn from my mistakes, wed talk more, more on the phone rather than texting, id call her in the mornings to wake her up for classes, id see her more than once a week. She then said she wanted to be friends, massive out of the blue for me seeing as none of the actions pointed towards this - holding hands, head in chest, kissing.

I told her no, think about what you want, she was sure she wanted to be friends. Ive been NC since, havent heard anything. Spinning one plate, got a day 2 tomorrow. Need more plates, all I can think about is her though.

 

[Carpathian]

Happy New year to all. May it be the healthiest, happiest and most successful yet.

 

[MrOctober]

I've been NC for over 60 days and she's contacted me twice within that timeframe. She crosses my mind here and there but...

trust me dudes you will get over it. I used to think I never would.

 

[MrOctober]

Happy New year to all. May it be the healthiest, happiest and most successful yet.

To you the same.

 

[RoKKo]

Day 60

Some conclusions:
- After reading the bible i realized that she used me in every way to make herself feel better about herself. It never was a giving thing from her side. I was her toy, she was playing mind-games with me. She enchanted me while she was just looking for fun. I totally fell for it... This humiliation is the worst feeling i have experienced for at least a very long time.

- So much work to do. Every woman resembling to her gives me an itch right in my heart. I KNOW that this woman caused damage to my mental health and yet my heart STILL wants her back. This is the worst thing since she (I) am messing it up with other women forcing myself in bad mindsets and painful reconsiderations of "what-if" statements with her. I realize that my mind is tricking me. Still... it hurts.

- Deleting her number and everything that reminds me of her helped a lot for the healing process i am still in. I stopped (day)dreaming of her all the time and most of the time my mind is clear from her. While reading the Bible, i began questioning my behavior with every woman i had a relationship with. Sometimes i catch myself having a discussion as my future self and my ex(es) and the urge of having revenge rather than forgiving and going on with my better life. I should know better... Nevertheless, No Contact until i forgot her or i came over it. Even though i am curious about what she is doing.

-> Despite the pain: The breakup was the best thing that could happen to me for my life. It gave/gives me the energy of working on myself. Without it, i wouldn't have read the bible, never start working out and focusing on my dreams.

I think she will haunt me for a long while longer. However, I never felt manlier before. I admit my flaws and work on them every single day. Until the curse breaks.

 

[Carpathian]

@RoKKo Takes a long time to flush a woman you cherished (maybe cherished too much) out of your mind and out of your heart dude. Don't beat yourself up about it, those feelings are normal and to be expected. Rather, focus on the long game, get yourself sorted out in terms of style, body, career, education etc and develop those things. Your happiness will gravitate back together in time. But until you can leave the toxins from the ex in the toilet then it is difficult to make forward progress in your life. This is why you must get focused on other things, like everyone here says. This is the secret to happiness in all aspects of your life.

 

[Darrenez]

DAY 30
So somewhere a few pages ago is the info about my situation. My ex finished with me as she wanted to be single. She was 9 years younger and I treated her so well compared to her ex's who cheated on her. So done no contact with her and I haven't contacted her at!

Since then in under a month, I have been busy:

New years eve took a young lady back to mine last night, bit of a age gap but was an amazing night..perfect way to see the new year in!
Had another one night stand 3 weeks ago
Been on 4 dates all with women I know liked me more than I was into them and could have relations with.

Even if my ex contacted me now I don't think I would ever message her back..I've done so much in a month! Until a month ago, I'd never had a 1 night stand ever even at my age 35. I have since had 2. Not sure if thats a good thing or not though lol..I didn't love my ex or have really strong feelings for her so obviously my situation is different from some peoples on here who may have been with their exs for a long time/had meaningful feelings for them.

 

[xstang77]

It's been a month since I've seen her,nc aside from when I sent her a text wishing her daughter a merry Christmas on the 24th haven't heard anything from her at all,I'm still hankering for her pretty bad. I have no friends and Can't find any dates, I just go to work and go home to sit alone, pretty depressed and not doing to hot.banged my bpd ex 3 times in one night a couple weeks ago, aside from that nothing,can't find a girl that looks even half as good as my ex,never been treated that good by a woman in my life.i can't let this go I just wanna talk things out with her.

 

[wonderer]

Day 10 of NC.

I was with the girl for 4 months. The first 3 months were great, she would buy me gifts, kino me, make time for me, could not sleep before seeing me, wished she could see me everyday. I played with her emotions, I would not speak to her for days. She started seeing someone else and went cold on me, she then started to insult me and told me about him, she blocked me. It was all my fault.

She then came back to me after he left for his home country, I was the plan B. I was kissing her again, I never slept with her because I thought she was a virgin, she told me about how she f*cked him. It killed me. I went a bit more beta to try and be different than before and learn from my mistakes, wed talk more, more on the phone rather than texting, id call her in the mornings to wake her up for classes, id see her more than once a week. She then said she wanted to be friends, massive out of the blue for me seeing as none of the actions pointed towards this - holding hands, head in chest, kissing.

I told her no, think about what you want, she was sure she wanted to be friends. Ive been NC since, havent heard anything. Spinning one plate, got a day 2 tomorrow. Need more plates, all I can think about is her though.

Yesterday she text me 3 times after roughly 2 weeks, messages went:

Her: hey caramel (nickname she used to give me) happy new year!

5 mins later: why have you not been texting me?

25 mins later: come on... dont be a bastard on new years eve

I want to see if I can turn this into a fwb, shes not in the country at the moment, so I wasnt going to reply for a few days, and reply with "been busy" ive now decided that she needs to feel the loss of her decision, so thinking not to reply and keep NC, will drive her nuts, see if she reaches out again whilst me dating other women.

 

[finality]

Yesterday she text me 3 times after roughly 2 weeks, messages went:

Her: hey caramel (nickname she used to give me) happy new year!

5 mins later: why have you not been texting me?

25 mins later: come on... dont be a bastard on new years eve

I want to see if I can turn this into a fwb, shes not in the country at the moment, so I wasnt going to reply for a few days, and reply with "been busy" ive now decided that she needs to feel the loss of her decision, so thinking not to reply and keep NC, will drive her nuts, see if she reaches out again whilst me dating other women.

Do not reply at all!

She needs to feel the loss for at least 2-3 months.

 

[exhausted]

Second day no contact haha.
Its been off and on for 2 months.
More than anything just very disappointed and feel betrayed to give so much time and be fantastic to her and her kid and not be appreciated when it comes down to it. Appreciation is showed thro actions not words. My fault tho, i have to take responsibility knowing she is bipolar and has princess syndrome, a spoiled brat as this girl can be down right mean. I am not mean natured to women as i have 3 sisters i am very close to, even fighting and playings sports violently all my life, i can separate the emotions where a woman who is bipolar or emotionally unstable can not.
I figured the problem some of us have not getting rid of a bipolar gf when we know we should and the reason is we really are very close in connection to them, really best friends on top of a gf. When they flip and then come back they are very open and show strength to get things back on track and are very loving and affectionate, well until the next time in a few days when the roller coaster resumes.
Its tough to cut off somebody u care for after 3 years even when u know its the best.

 

[DamnSon]

I got dumped Dec 9th I went NC immediately she contacted me dec 21st I invited her over said she was leaving to go back home for college break. I didn't reply. No Merry Christmas or happy new year from her either. I have 4 girls lined up, I could bang them all but I dunno, still miss her..but I have needs lol. She's been looking at all my snaps still of me having a hell of a time lately

 

[Carpathian]

Do not reply at all!

She needs to feel the loss for at least 2-3 months.

^^^^This^^^^

 

[Carpathian]

I got dumped Dec 9th I went NC immediately she contacted me dec 21st I invited her over said she was leaving to go back home for college break. I didn't reply. No Merry Christmas or happy new year from her either. I have 4 girls lined up, I could bang them all but I dunno, still miss her..but I have needs lol. She's been looking at all my snaps still of me having a hell of a time lately

Ignore her at all costs when reaches out as she is sure to do. Even if you do want to get back with her, ignore her for a month at least. Her sense of entitlement will drive her mad when you do this and make her want you and make her realize what she's lost. If you cave after the first message or two she will know you are easy and will resent you for it again. It's the same if a chick is 18 or 50. Educated or stupid. Deep down they are all the same, little girls who think they are princesses. She must know that you are not a toy to be thrown to the floor during her emotional tantrums.

 

[wonderer]

^^^^This^^^^

Do not reply at all!

She needs to feel the loss for at least 2-3 months.

That long? We only went out for 4 months, last month was very rocky. she has lots of options, i want some sex

 

[Carpathian]

That long? We only went out for 4 months, last month was very rocky. she has lots of options, i want some sex

Yes, that long.
Search for another woman and forget her. That's what you should be doing anyway.