I always wondered what it would be like to be popular

[TheFixer14]

So I'll start this off by saying that I am a lone wolf and happy to be one. I'm not a social reject. I've always been able to make a friend or two. I generally get along with most people that I meet. But I only have a few close friends that don't live in the same state that I moved too. I don't really get friendly text messages. In fact the only time I text is when I am dating (which I hate) and those texts are to the point. I haven't had anyone post "happy birthday" on my facebook wall in two years. I hardly get likes when I post or tweet.

I actually don't know why things are like that for me. My guess is that I don't truly connect on a deep level with most people that I meet (most people bore me). But I've come to be actually kinda happy with it. It's taught me that I can't depend on anyone else and I should be my own best friend.

But I wonder what it would be like to be popular. Have your phone blowing up. Having a ton of people like your facebook post (though that doesn't matter and I don't care about social media). Being invited to places. That just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me with my current lifestyle.

I'm sure there are some "popular guys" here. What's it's like? Is it all that it's cracked up to be?

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

You don't need to connect with people on a deep level to be popular, just be able to provide value in their lives and a lot of your living circumstances/location/culture of the place you're in have a big say in it. A lot of the popularity thing matters a great deal in high school and especially college, it helps a ton if you want to date the better looking girls at that age group.

I was that guy in high school and college thanks to rushing the right fraternity and I want to say it is amazing, I'd be lying if I didn't. It's not just the girls, it's always having friends around, being invited to things, going to parties others haven't heard of, and knowing that you're a part of an exclusive crowd. Just knowing that the sorority girl invited you to her formal and some of your friends but most guys were not invited. Spending the winter break at a big city with some of your friends and some cute girls while others are either alone or back home with parents. I loved getting in a hot tub with two cute girls by my arm while some of my friends were in there with hot girls as well, just that feeling that you were a part of an exclusive crowd and having some amazing experiences.

The best part about it is being invited to certain events and having a group of people to go there with. Going to a wine tasting with two cute girls and having your friend bring along his hot girlfriend, all of you being a part of that crowd. Spending time on spring break with you and your crew on the road, a mix of hot girls and some guys you've become friends with.

I miss parts of college where you and your social circle took the same classes and studied abroad in the same countries, had a lot of fun experiences together, and even years later you remember all of that. Meeting a girl through that route that you know was into you because your friends and others told you so and pushed you into going for that hot girl, just making it all so easy.

I guess that's the best part about it all, just that feeling of belonging to a somewhat exclusive crowd and doing a lot of fun things with them.

 

[TheFixer14]

That sounds really cool.

My high school experience went like this: first half of my ninth grade year I was actually popular. Second half I had a falling out and my friends disowned me. Rather than try to make another group of friends I gave up. I did have one girlfriend and lost my vigrinity at homecoming so that was cool.

10th grade: Had some school friends. But I never hung outside of school with anyone. I would go to the dirt track on Fridays and just play video games. I had one girlfriend that year.

11th grade: Had more school friends and started to socialize a bit more with people outside of school.

12th grade: Dated a real hot girl for a bit. I hung out with friends outside of school a lot. But felt used. I didn't go to prom or senior beach week. I got stood up for the senior banquet and was sucidal over it.

Bonus: College.

I dated that hot chick in college early on. But she kinda broke my heart so I lost interest in having a girlfriend. I never really made friends while I was in college and it's one of the reasons why I dropped out.

I guess people like me are just meant to go through life alone.

 

[Who Dares Win]

In my opinion being popular requires two things when you are in your teens and mostly early 20s.

The first one is to have a good genetic that grants you the right look, whoever say that a tall broad shouldered squared jaw guy and a short skinny fat one has the same opportunity and feedbacks is delusional.
That alone grants you more credit and sympathy even before you open your mouth and those feedbacks you receive influence your behaviour and self confidence.

The second one is your upbringing and family, a absent father or a screwed up in the head mother can really destroy you while a supporting loving family can allow you to give the best you can and even more.
At that age you dont have yet the strenght to say fvck it I can deal with stuff myself.
The family income has weight too but not as much as stabily and cares you receive.

I would bet more on a middle class guy coming from a sane loving family than a guy coming from a super rich one where the father is more interested in his work than his son and his mother suffocate his son to balance lack of attention from her husband.

Being popular while young is a double edged sword, from a certain point of view it can kickstart a successful life while on the other side it can give a wrong perception of reality while not making you feel any hunger or ambition since you already have it all.

Its not uncommon to find the coolest guy of the school working in a small shop 10 yrs later as much as finding the outcast being elected in the parliament.

 

[Paul_FR]

Now, I'm only able to compare my situation to all these others. When I was at high school, I use to be a very fun and open person to be with, loved going to those parties and end up p***ed like hell, and I was literally adored by everyone and I didn't have any issues with girls at the time.

And suddenly one day, I met my wife to be at high school, I was 15 and she was 17. Total opposite of me, has never been to a single party or a night club and to this day, has absolutely NO friends at all. Now we have been together 10 years! Now that is alot.
Now I don't know how, but I have changed like hell. I've actually become how She is and end up having no real friends and I find that all my life is about is going to work, coming home, do the dishes and go to bed. Then next day repeat. Talk about routine? fvck.

I know that I have accepted all this crap along the years and She has sculpted me the way She wanted and has now got me on a lead. I need change and have unfortunately been lured recently to the "dark side" (temptation) and I don't know what to do.

My advise is to be who you are and don't let anyone change you. Especially not a girl with the opposite character....if you like having fun, have fun, because I swear, I feel like sh*t and I've made mistakes. I'm only 25 and I feel that I took the wrong path...

 

[TheFixer14]

In my opinion being popular requires two things when you are in your teens and mostly early 20s.

The first one is to have a good genetic that grants you the right look, whoever say that a tall broad shouldered squared jaw guy and a short skinny fat one has the same opportunity and feedbacks is delusional.
That alone grants you more credit and sympathy even before you open your mouth and those feedbacks you receive influence your behaviour and self confidence.

The second one is your upbringing and family, a absent father or a screwed up in the head mother can really destroy you while a supporting loving family can allow you to give the best you can and even more.
At that age you dont have yet the strenght to say fvck it I can deal with stuff myself.
The family income has weight too but not as much as stabily and cares you receive.

I would bet more on a middle class guy coming from a sane loving family than a guy coming from a super rich one where the father is more interested in his work than his son and his mother suffocate his son to balance lack of attention from her husband.

Being popular while young is a double edged sword, from a certain point of view it can kickstart a successful life while on the other side it can give a wrong perception of reality while not making you feel any hunger or ambition since you already have it all.

Its not uncommon to find the coolest guy of the school working in a small shop 10 yrs later as much as finding the outcast being elected in the parliament.

Well, in high school I was over weight for a bit. But I was tall so I could carry it. Once I got into college I hit the gym and got into good shape though. In high school some guys did call me ugly here and there.

I think the second one is more or less the case, I had both an absent father and a screwed up in the head mother.

And true, a lot of my heroes seemed to have worst upbringings than me. I guess it gives them character and a story? If you peak in high school then you probably aren't going to go very far in life.

Now, I'm only able to compare my situation to all these others. When I was at high school, I use to be a very fun and open person to be with, loved going to those parties and end up p***ed like hell, and I was literally adored by everyone and I didn't have any issues with girls at the time.

And suddenly one day, I met my wife to be at high school, I was 15 and she was 17. Total opposite of me, has never been to a single party or a night club and to this day, has absolutely NO friends at all. Now we have been together 10 years! Now that is alot.
Now I don't know how, but I have changed like hell. I've actually become how She is and end up having no real friends and I find that all my life is about is going to work, coming home, do the dishes and go to bed. Then next day repeat. Talk about routine? fvck.

I know that I have accepted all this crap along the years and She has sculpted me the way She wanted and has now got me on a lead. I need change and have unfortunately been lured recently to the "dark side" (temptation) and I don't know what to do.

My advise is to be who you are and don't let anyone change you. Especially not a girl with the opposite character....if you like having fun, have fun, because I swear, I feel like sh*t and I've made mistakes. I'm only 25 and I feel that I took the wrong path...

That's interesting. You changed your whole life for this woman.

I forgot to mention, I went to like one party in high school. I've been to some in college and a lot more lately.

 

[fastlife]

Pros & cons. I tend to become popular with any social circle I get involved in. I feel like it's been like that as long as I can remember.

It definitely led to narcissistic tendencies--you get addicted to s certain level of validation that's impossible to maintain without giving into stagnation and sticking to the 'narrative' (I.e. Not doing things drastically different from anyone else)--but even then people still get married, move away, etc. The loss of that validation at various times was tremendously painful for me.

With girls, there's always drama & fallout. Too much visibility. Too much status to be won & lost.

You end up with orbiters--guys who cling to you for validation. 'Friends' who just want pvssy by association.

People always want to hang out--very hard to get quality alone time or to progress in other aspects of your life. A lot of people just waste time.

That said, I also have made a ton of really good friends & the good times were a blast. Not sure I'd change anything but these days I keep a small circle & keep my wider circles at arm's length. Meet girls through cold approach, which is more satisfying, interesting, and drama free.

 

[zekko]

People always want to hang out--very hard to get quality alone time or to progress in other aspects of your life. A lot of people just waste time.

This is why ultimately I can't live life as an extrovert - too many people wanting a piece of my time. I went for a long time trying to be as social as I could be, and I learned a lot from it. But once I had proved myself, I had to back off of it, because the bottom line is I don't want people in my face all the time.

 

[Trump]

So I'll start this off by saying that I am a lone wolf and happy to be one. I'm not a social reject. I've always been able to make a friend or two. I generally get along with most people that I meet. But I only have a few close friends that don't live in the same state that I moved too. I don't really get friendly text messages. In fact the only time I text is when I am dating (which I hate) and those texts are to the point. I haven't had anyone post "happy birthday" on my facebook wall in two years. I hardly get likes when I post or tweet.

I actually don't know why things are like that for me. My guess is that I don't truly connect on a deep level with most people that I meet (most people bore me). But I've come to be actually kinda happy with it. It's taught me that I can't depend on anyone else and I should be my own best friend.

But I wonder what it would be like to be popular. Have your phone blowing up. Having a ton of people like your facebook post (though that doesn't matter and I don't care about social media).

Come on bro, obviously you care otherwise you wouldn't mention you don't care twice in 10 sentences.

To tell the truth, most people don't care about you, most people only care about themselves. If you can add value to their lives, they will call you back. If you can't, you don't exist.

Being invited to places. That just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me with my current lifestyle.

If you want to be invited to places, give back and offer something of value. If you bring something of need, people will blow up your phone. But they won't blow it up because you are you or want to have sex or want friends or feel cheated in life. You got to have value.

Get some value. Get some friends.

 

[wifehunter]

Popularity = talking to everyone, being friendly, and remembering names.

It's not hard, just exhausting, for someone like me.

 

[TheFixer14]

Come on bro, obviously you care otherwise you wouldn't mention you don't care twice in 10 sentences.

To tell the truth, most people don't care about you, most people only care about themselves. If you can add value to their lives, they will call you back. If you can't, you don't exist.

LMAO. So judgemental. I do care about it on one front: career. I am in the entertainment industry. A lot of this is about who you know and also having a big following on social media helps.

And you are just regergetating the same bullshkt that's already out there. I got nothing to prove to anyone.

If you want to be invited to places, give back and offer something of value. If you bring something of need, people will blow up your phone. But they won't blow it up because you are you or want to have sex or want friends or feel cheated in life. You got to have value.

Get some value. Get some friends.

Did you read what I said? I am a lone wolf. I don't want any of that anymore. I want to go through life alone. I don't care about getting friends at this point in my point. Or women for that matter. People screw your over.

Popularity = talking to everyone, being friendly, and remembering names.

It's not hard, just exhausting, for someone like me.

I kinda feel the same way. I don't have the fortitude and energy for it.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I was popular or at least right below that point my junior year of high school (we moved my senior year so I lost all my friends feelsbadman) and it was pretty fun while it lasted. We always did stuff. Like I was going out a lot and doing a lot of things. I've had to make friends a lot throughout my life because I have had to leave a lot of people behind and meet a bunch of new people. I know how to make friends but it does get annoying to do so and then have to start all over so my senior year I didn't really feel like it and college is boring af because I can talk to people in my classes and stuff, but no one wants to chill outside of class. Commuter-school life I suppose.

I definitely enjoy it over being a lone wolf, that's for sure. The only thing you wouldn't enjoy would be if you were too popular, like when people know who you are and you don't know them. Then that can get annoying because people try to be your best friend just so that other people think they're cool when in reality they don't even know you nor them, they just know OF you and some weird facts about you. Plus drama starts much more easily that way as well. That's one thing I was always good at: drama. I would always react and respond situations in such a way that ends any drama or any chance of drama occurring. It's quite astounding actually. ****, it's hard for me to even create drama and I don't even know why. But it is pretty cool though because there can be like a whirlwind of stuff that's going on between people and normally would envelop and overwhelm most people but for me, I always had this bubble around me due to just how I am. And because of that, I am the one behind the scenes controlling what happens and can tip the balance of this maelstrom of drama into one person's favor and then tip it again into another person's favor all depending on what I want to do. I rarely ever do it unless someone spites me of course, but you kinda feel like an evil villain going 'MUWAHAHAHA!!' and it's pretty fun too sometimes.

I digress. It is better than the lone wolf life for sure in my honest opinion simply because the more people you know, the more opportunities that can open up. Besides, you are on a website for getting laid. It DEFINITELY helps with getting laid. If only I can relive high school.

 

[TheFixer14]

^
Being a lone wolf doesn't mean that I don't go around people. I went to a party last night. Everyone wants to be around people sometimes.

Being a lone wolf means that I am perfectly fine with being alone most of the time. I only interact with people when I want to/have to. A lot of nights I just chill in my room on my laptop.

I don't want to be the popular guy because I've realized that it isn't me. If I become popular it will be due to my career, not because I can make a lot friends. I also don't want a lot of friends. I believe that you can only have five true friends anyway.

 

[sazc]

I didnt read all the posts so apologies if someone has mentioned this. I know first hand people who purposefully exaggerate (lie) on fb. She posts how great her husband is, meanwhile he is using meth and ignoring the family. They post about vacationing in Europe, meanwhile they are teetering on bankruptcy. It's ridiculous the front people put up. FB is generally a lie, but great for keeping in touch.

I've come to realize that all my personal struggles in high school (not feeling popular, not feeling liked) were the exact same struggles that everyone else was going thru. Plus I saw first hand how the popular people would abandon one of their own t the first sign of trouble.

Valuing yourself via external methods (social media, how many people with you a happy birthday, etc) is hollow. Being happy with who you are as a person, whatever way you want to exist in this life, is priceless.

My personal philosophy has always been - you cant be a good friend if you are not comfortable with the silence of yourself/being alone. There's also way less drama.

 

[Tenacity]

I didnt read all the posts so apologies if someone has mentioned this. I know first hand people who purposefully exaggerate (lie) on fb. She posts how great her husband is, meanwhile he is using meth and ignoring the family. They post about vacationing in Europe, meanwhile they are teetering on bankruptcy. It's ridiculous the front people put up. FB is generally a lie, but great for keeping in touch.

I've come to realize that all my personal struggles in high school (not feeling popular, not feeling liked) were the exact same struggles that everyone else was going thru. Plus I saw first hand how the popular people would abandon one of their own t the first sign of trouble.

Valuing yourself via external methods (social media, how many people with you a happy birthday, etc) is hollow. Being happy with who you are as a person, whatever way you want to exist in this life, is priceless.

My personal philosophy has always been - you cant be a good friend if you are not comfortable with the silence of yourself/being alone. There's also way less drama.

I am starting to REALLY love your posts lol.

This is excellent and I 100% agree with the Facebook/Social Media shyt. I don't even post on Facebook anymore, I have a page up but there's no new content being posted.

You see Social Media is like Sosuave, it affords people the "luxury" to just be whomever the fvck they want to be, even if their true life is nowhere near the image they put up online.

Take most of these Red Pill/MGTOW, anonymous, fvck-tards for example. Post after post, they talk about how ALPHA they are, but they never post a pic of themselves, no pic of any girl they have been with, no pic of any ALPHA lifestyle....nothing. But Sosuave is like Social Media, you can just SAY you are "something" and people just go along with it, without questioning how true/false your post is.

I guess I'm just old-school, I'm the type of guy that if you say you are ALPHA then I want to see proof of the shyt. Just like if I say I'm spinning plates, driving a Camero, etc., I will POST PICS of the shyt...not just say it but SHOW it.

 

[Tenacity]

With that being said, fvck being popular. Most people are stupid anyway and the only way to "fit in" would be to be as brain-dead as they are.

- Most people are living paycheck-to-paycheck
- Most people are overweight
- Most people sign on for debt they can't afford
- Most people do not plan their children, they just fvck reckless and pop them out
- Most people are not saving for retirement
- Most people pick worthless degrees and worthless majors
- Most people do not have a fvcking budget
- Most people routinely buy shyt they can't afford and put it on a 22.9% APR credit card

Why the fvck do you want to "FIT IN" (or be popular) with a bunch of brain dead fvck-tards llol? Fvck that, I'd rather be the lone wolf.

 

[sazc]

I am starting to REALLY love your posts lol.

This is excellent and I 100% agree with the Facebook/Social Media shyt. I don't even post on Facebook anymore, I have a page up but there's no new content being posted.

You see Social Media is like Sosuave, it affords people the "luxury" to just be whomever the fvck they want to be, even if their true life is nowhere near the image they put up online.

Take most of these Red Pill/MGTOW, anonymous, fvck-tards for example. Post after post, they talk about how ALPHA they are, but they never post a pic of themselves, no pic of any girl they have been with, no pic of any ALPHA lifestyle....nothing. But Sosuave is like Social Media, you can just SAY you are "something" and people just go along with it, without questioning how true/false your post is.

I guess I'm just old-school, I'm the type of guy that if you say you are ALPHA then I want to see proof of the shyt. Just like if I say I'm spinning plates, driving a Camero, etc., I will POST PICS of the shyt...not just say it but SHOW it.

Thanks, we're probably just like minded people I just do me, and I'm pretty content with myself.

I agree, you never know if someone is being truthful. We all dont know anyone IRL who posts on this site, so you have to take what they post with a grain of salt. Who knows if they are posting the real stuff that goes on in their lives, if they just want to fit in, or if they are bonafide keyboard warriors. If they are lying/fibbing/puffing they have HUGE inferiority/insecurity issues. If they are telling the truth then 'bravo'. No one should compare themselves to another poster on any website. Everyone should figure out what makes them happy and then, just do you and dont compare yourself to anyone else.

 

[wifehunter]

With that being said, fvck being popular. Most people are stupid anyway and the only way to "fit in" would be to be as brain-dead as they are.

- Most people are living paycheck-to-paycheck
- Most people are overweight
- Most people sign on for debt they can't afford
- Most people do not plan their children, they just fvck reckless and pop them out
- Most people are not saving for retirement
- Most people pick worthless degrees and worthless majors
- Most people do not have a fvcking budget
- Most people routinely buy shyt they can't afford and put it on a 22.9% APR credit card

Why the fvck do you want to "FIT IN" (or be popular) with a bunch of brain dead fvck-tards llol? Fvck that, I'd rather be the lone wolf.

Lol, I'm popular, but I don't fit in. I never have. I sit alone by myself, and people come and talk to me.

Part of my mission is to be open to young, old, happy, sad, fat, skinny, black, white, brown, etc.

People don't like me because I fit in, they like me, because kind people are rare. (I've been told) I also use observational irony to obsene proportions. Making people laugh is always a good time!!!

Ladies notice!!!

 

[TheFixer14]

I didnt read all the posts so apologies if someone has mentioned this. I know first hand people who purposefully exaggerate (lie) on fb. She posts how great her husband is, meanwhile he is using meth and ignoring the family. They post about vacationing in Europe, meanwhile they are teetering on bankruptcy. It's ridiculous the front people put up. FB is generally a lie, but great for keeping in touch.

I've come to realize that all my personal struggles in high school (not feeling popular, not feeling liked) were the exact same struggles that everyone else was going thru. Plus I saw first hand how the popular people would abandon one of their own t the first sign of trouble.

Valuing yourself via external methods (social media, how many people with you a happy birthday, etc) is hollow. Being happy with who you are as a person, whatever way you want to exist in this life, is priceless.

My personal philosophy has always been - you cant be a good friend if you are not comfortable with the silence of yourself/being alone. There's also way less drama.

I agree with this. There's this actress who I'm working with that will make it sounds like she has the most successful career. But I know that she has two day jobs.

With that being said, fvck being popular. Most people are stupid anyway and the only way to "fit in" would be to be as brain-dead as they are.

- Most people are living paycheck-to-paycheck
- Most people are overweight
- Most people sign on for debt they can't afford
- Most people do not plan their children, they just fvck reckless and pop them out
- Most people are not saving for retirement
- Most people pick worthless degrees and worthless majors
- Most people do not have a fvcking budget
- Most people routinely buy shyt they can't afford and put it on a 22.9% APR credit card

Why the fvck do you want to "FIT IN" (or be popular) with a bunch of brain dead fvck-tards llol? Fvck that, I'd rather be the lone wolf.

So true. I've come to realize that most people are not even worth my time. I have been going to these parties/kick backs recently and lately I've been leaving a bit upset. I was wondering why. I then realized that I am not getting what I want out of it (playing board games isn't my cup of tea). Even though I am actually kinda popular there, I was mad when I left because there's gotta be better **** right?

Being a lone wolf is much better. You don't have to live up to society's "standards".

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

The thing with 'popularity'; it's transient and relative to differing personalities. Social media is perfectly exemplifying where different people get their validation from - the internal or the external world.

I myself was very popular at school, though probably not the most popular. Mostly I was just going about my business, keeping myself to myself, but being polite and friendly when necessary.

Then I move to college and expanded my social circle; where my old school friends didn't so much. All of a sudden, I was one of the most popular guys in town, captain of the sports teams, dating the hottest girls. My old school friends were eventually put out because they thought I'd 'left them behind', though it was usually me making the effort to maintain connections.

Then I moved to the city to go to university, and the same scenario happened. Now I hardly speak to anyone from school nor college. I have a few good friends who I maintain mutual effort with. Otherwise, I'll continue to go out and meet new people as I always have. Some will stay, some won't.

Two things I have noticed:
-People come and go from each others lives, not owing to popularity, lack thereof, like or dislike, but usually just circumstance.
-Some people will appreciate your company up to a point; that being, until they're bored, someone more interesting comes along, or it's just time to go home at the end of the evening.

Being popular and being well-liked are not always the same thing.