The main thing holding you back from women: ego and pride

GoodOne123

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Insecure, little people would look down on and try to abuse an ego-less person. Think about why they would even need to. If they were already happy and confident, would they need to look down on and abuse an ego-less person? These insecure people resort to that because they feel like crap and need some way to feel like they're "winning" in the competition of life



One of my best friends has a very minimal ego. But he can get dates every week. So your claim that women disrespect these men is totally false. Yes, some men will challenge guys like him. But again, those men have alot of fear (of losing, needing to protect their ego) which is why they think putting down someone would help them feel better.



ok then, go into a bar full of biker thugs and get into a fight to prove how manly you are, because if you don't retaliate, those biker thugs will not take you seriously and think you're feminine. After they hurt your feelings by calling you a sissy, you then spend months building up as much muscle as possible. You also get a ton of tattoos to show off tough you are. You go back to that bar and physically beat those guys in a fight ... and also get charged with assault and thrown in jail... Yeah, are you sure that's a good life?



There's plenty of successful and famous actors, rock stars, and athletes with lots of money and women. But some of them are also so miserable they literally want to numb the pain of their miserable lives with alcohol and drugs.



You're just seeing the facade. Some of those "successful" people probably had extremely miserable lives. They probably suffered from extreme high blood pressure because they were in constant fear as they had to ensure they were always "dominant" and could not ever lose.

Let's give an example of someone we can all agree was successful and an egomaniac: Michael Jordan. Sure, it's admirable that he learned from his failures, was resilient, and never wanted to quit. However, he was also a total ******* who yell at and bully his own teammates and guys much smaller than him. Why would he resort to that? Anger with himself because he was constantly scared that any weakness of his could get exposed and the neediness to be better than everyone else

An ego-less person has no fear because he has nothing to protect. If someone tried to humiliate him, there would be no reason to react and get defensive.
Yes, insecure people put people down, but that's slightly missing the point. There is a lot of insecure people in the world, and it's not going to change. That's a big deal. Insecure people can make you lose your job, ruin your relationships, ruin your reputation, and make your life worse. It's therefore to your best interest to get rid of them, or manage them. This is what my approach is about.

I do not know your friend, neither do I know how "ego-less" he really is. However, I can say that what has worked for me is holding myself to a high regard, above the woman, having lots of self respect, not taking any bullshiit from the woman, gets me the most women. That's what I have seen from other guys getting a lot of women too. Essentially. I am talking about the qualities of a somewhat "bad-boy" persona, but not faking it. And we all know that this persona has stood the test of time to be a succsess with women.

Again, it's slightly irrelevant that men who challenge others are fearful and insecure. What is relevant is the effect it has. When people/women see that you take crap from other people without saying or doing nothing, they automatically see you as weak. It's just the way it is. And the people who picked on you have no incentive to stop, and carry on doing it. So you not only have someone making your life more difficult, but you also have people around you perceiving you as weak. This weaknesses women are not attracted to. Women are hard wired to be with the strong dominant male who can protect her. Therefore, you should stop challenges asap, say something to shut them up, or show you don't take crap. This will prevent your quality of life going down because as soon as these insecure people see this, they back down.

All of this WITHIN REASON. I'm obviously not going to fight a group of bikers because that's dumb. I'm outnumbered clearly. And I'd like to keep my handsome face intact thank you very much. What I'm saying is that you need to weigh out certain situations to see if talking back or retaliating is worth it. In the case you described, it's not. And other people observing would not blame you for backing out. They won't lose respect for you because almost no-one would do something so foolish. You need to be smart enough to weigh situations out.

Money, women and succsess is not the enemy. These rich people who are miserable have not figured out other important aspects of life to improve. For example, finding a group of great friends you can hang out with regularly. Money in itself provides you with freedom to do what you want, women provides you with sex/companionship, all these things enhance your happiness. If they're miserable it's their mistakes for not paying attention to the other areas of life.

Also, please don't look at famous people in Hollywood when you want to see the lives of rich and succsessful people. The Hollywood industry is full of messed up shiit. Like secret pedophile rings, a culture based on excessive botox and surgery, and the media constantly in your face. There is no doubt these actors snap and go off the rails. So in those examples you cannot really say their demise is caused by money succsess. It's caused by their crazy environment and lack of privacy etc.

You're not putting into account all of the rich succsessful people who are having a great time. You don't see them, because the majority are not famous. Many entrepreneurs, businessmen around the world are living a balanced happy life full of money women and freedom. What about them then? Are they miserable?

Michael Jordan achieved what he set out to become, and that's the best damn basketball player ever. He couldnt do it without his huge ego. Those ashole things he did to his teammates, was actually not bad. He needed to take the game so seriously, that he would go to any level to push his teammates to do better as well. This HELPED the overall goal. This encouraged his teammates, despite being quite brash.

You say this ego comes from fear etc. Why? Why can't these actions such as pushing your teammates to meet a goal, be logical? These actions mainly have to do with meeting a goal, like in my previous example of not letting insecure people lower your quality of life. There's no fear involved, I'm just acting in the right way to get the desired outcome in a situation that would enhance my life most positively.

My last point is this. It's that I am usually skeptical when people say they don't have ego and don't like ego. These people usually have egos too. It's because being identified as having lack of ego is egotistical in itself. When you try to convert people to another way of thinking, while bashing down another way of thinking, requires ego in itself. Because you are personally identified with that way of thinking, and are defending it over another way of thinking, and trying to convert others.

Truly removing the ego is not easy, and takes years, most likely a decade, of self discovery, investigation, and experiment. All of which you won't get paid for, or get any other financial benefit from. This is why it is an unrealistic goal for most people, because it takes so much time and effort. True enlightenment and dissolving of the ego is extremely hard, and far more complicated than taking a few psychedelics every now and then with your buddies.
 

Who Dares Win

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@Who Dares Win You don't understand because you have probably not had an issue with your own rage fvcking up your life. You don't understand because you probably don't have regrets about not doing something because it could put your ego on the line.

If a bully stole my lunch money I'd knock him down and take my money back, which has nothing to do with ego btw. I'm doing it for my money, not to show how fvcking strong and powerful I am.

You don't understand my point of view anyways, maybe one day.
Anger management problems are not related to ego, certain individuals lack certain neutrosmitters at a biological level so they cant control themselves, nothing to do with ego.
 

Mike32ct

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When I was younger 15-17, girls would drop me after they saw thru my front.

Thinking that you are better than you really are, is a setup for failure.
The ego thing defintely doesn't work in the context of a guy overestimating his looks. I agree with that 100 percent. I know a guy who isn't good looking at ALL and does the "delusional self-confidence" thing and acts like he's a Chad. It's so "cringeworthy" that it embarrasses other people in his social circle or makes them uncomfortable when he flirts with HB9s. And he gets ZERO results from it, despite having a some decent $. But that's another topic.

I think ego is good for accomplishing a GOAL. It's what pushes people to aim high and accomplish more. Now it should be a goal that you have SOME talent or aptitude towards, or you are being delusional.

But I like humbleness is other areas of life. I'm just REALLY put off by arrogance.

TDLR - Mike's Take on Ego ----

Your looks - Be a realist

Your goal/purpose - Have a sizeable ego to push you to success with something you have talent/aptitude for

Other areas of life - Be humble.

***But back to the OP's point, yes, a small or minimal ego when dealing with rejection by women is helpful. Don't take it to the extreme and hit on 10s when you're a 4, but it general the principle is good.
 
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bb47

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When people/women see that you take crap from other people without saying or doing nothing, they automatically see you as weak. It's just the way it is. And the people who picked on you have no incentive to stop, and carry on doing it. So you not only have someone making your life more difficult, but you also have people around you perceiving you as weak. This weaknesses women are not attracted to. Women are hard wired to be with the strong dominant male who can protect her. Therefore, you should stop challenges asap, say something to shut them up, or show you don't take crap. This will prevent your quality of life going down because as soon as these insecure people see this, they back down.
This hasn't been the case in my experience. There's been numerous times in my life in which I had to deal with *******s trying to make my life hell. I attempted to shut them up and show I wouldn't take crap from them, but they would not stop. They always needed to utilize some advantage they had: forming a clique, knowing I was new and didn't have a strong alliance backing me up, were much physically bigger/taller than me, etc. Other people around me, including other women, perceived me as weak anyways. When I really struck back at one of them, the aggressor went absolutely ape**** crazy. I knew he was weak and insecure, but I didn't know he was that much of a psychopath. So I had no choice but to leave. It got to the point that I would've had to resort to physical violence or even more to get them to stop

The reason why I made the post about dropping your ego is because had I not had such a strong ego at those times I dealt with those *******s, it would've been easier for me to realize I could just walk away alot sooner and not feel ashamed for being perceived as weak. I deeply regret all the time and energy I wasted trying to prove I wasn't weak.

Guys with bigger egos (like me at the time) are deeply ashamed and worried about being perceived as weak, so they stay in these situations with *******s trying to prove they're "strong" instead of just walking away. A guy with a much smaller ego would not care if others perceived him as weak, and thus feel the need to retaliate. He could just walk away and find other ways to enjoy life

With these fights and showing strength in order to not be perceived as weak, you're also missing a key point: how a guy reacts when an aggressor goes after them. Guys with bigger egos will react because they sense a threat. Guys with lesser egos will not react, and then make the aggressor look like a silly, insecure little man. By not reacting, the aggressor will then get frustrated and either stop, or go to more extreme lengths (such as screaming or threatening with physical violence) to intimidate their target.

Women are hard wired to be with the strong dominant male who can protect her
This is social Darwinism BS and what our disgusting society promotes. The claim that "winners" get the girls. But I gave the example above of what I dealt with and the example of biker thugs and celebrities that shows that these "winners" can be mentally ill, psychopaths. It's because of this belief that women choose "winners" to **** that guys get into stupid fights to prove they're "strong". If they lowered their egos, they wouldn't feel the pressure to win all the time, and they could enjoy life regardless if women didn't choose them.

That's the problem with *******s like biker thugs. They think the only way to a good life is by gaining respect and acceptance from others, so they'll go to extreme lengths to show their "dominance" and strength.

The solution is to realize women aren't really worth much, so if they choose other dudes instead of me, then that's cool.

In fact, before social Darwinism and feminism, nobody would think that priests, monks, philosophers or scientists were somehow inferior or weak for not having the ability to seduce women. Celibate men were actually respected and admired throughout history. In fact, guys who did well women were perceived as clowns and entertainers, and that was shameful before feminism and social Darwinism

All of this WITHIN REASON. I'm obviously not going to fight a group of bikers because that's dumb. I'm outnumbered clearly. And I'd like to keep my handsome face intact thank you very much. What I'm saying is that you need to weigh out certain situations to see if talking back or retaliating is worth it. In the case you described, it's not. And other people observing would not blame you for backing out. They won't lose respect for you because almost no-one would do something so foolish.
again, not true in my experience. I gave examples above in which I was outnumbered, was taking ****, backed out, and lost respect from others, including women. Even when I fought back and the aggressor responded by going ape**** crazy, I still didn't gain respect and had no choice but to leave.

When I had a bigger ego, I was bothered by the fact that other women lost respect for me. Not that I have a much smaller ego, I can let it go and not be bitter that these women had more respect for those aggressors instead of me

You need to be smart enough to weigh situations out.
This goes back to my point about ego. Guys with lower egos can just walk away easier and realize they don't need to fight. Guys with bigger egos feel more pressure to get into fights because they are more concerned about being perceived as weak

When you try to convert people to another way of thinking, while bashing down another way of thinking, requires ego in itself. Because you are personally identified with that way of thinking, and are defending it over another way of thinking, and trying to convert others.
I wasn't bashing another way of thinking. I was just trying to share a way of thinking that worked for me. If you don't accept my posts then that's cool
 
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Serenity

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Anger management problems are not related to ego, certain individuals lack certain neutrosmitters at a biological level so they cant control themselves, nothing to do with ego.
Ok, you definitely don't understand what this thread is about. I don't have the patience to explain it to you, because that would take some time...
 

Who Dares Win

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Ok, you definitely don't understand what this thread is about. I don't have the patience to explain it to you, because that would take some time...
This thread is about ego and a demostration of that is when someone communicates to someone else that he is ignoring him...

"Hey look at me Im ignoring you dont you dare not to realize it"
 

Bokanovsky

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Ego and pride are good things, within reason. They give you confidence and the drive to succeed. A guy with no ego or pride, who does not give a sh!t about anything is more likely to end up living under a highway overpass than on top of the world. I can't think of a single successful person who did not have a strong ego.
 

Poon King

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Some good points are made in the OP.

However, the need to win is not just about ego and pride. Its also about strength. Remember as men.. there is a lot of danger in seeming weak. When people think you're weak, they see an opportunity. Women will see an opportunity to exploit you and use you. Men will see an opportunity to beat you, screw you over, steal from you, etc.

You cannot allow the world to sh!t on you and just shrug it off. That's a recipe for failure which is much worse than "winning" IMO.

Men should command respect. F*ck trying to get everyone to like you, love you or think you're cool. Just make sure you are respected and a little feared if nothing else. Its good for you.
 

Roober

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Some good points are made in the OP.

However, the need to win is not just about ego and pride. Its also about strength. Remember as men.. there is a lot of danger in seeming weak. When people think you're weak, they see an opportunity. Women will see an opportunity to exploit you and use you. Men will see an opportunity to beat you, screw you over, steal from you, etc.

You cannot allow the world to sh!t on you and just shrug it off. That's a recipe for failure which is much worse than "winning" IMO.

Men should command respect. F*ck trying to get everyone to like you, love you or think you're cool. Just make sure you are respected and a little feared if nothing else. Its good for you.
Agreed! The problem is that our society is soooooo inundated with blue pill crap, that any time someone goes against the grain, it is heavily frowned upon by most of their peers. I say, if you are still being respectful, but standing up for what you believe, then they can go shove it up their you know what.

Doing what the fvck you want is really one of the core aspects of being a DJ. It resembles when we were 7 years old at the playground. Did you care what you looked like when you were playing? Did you care how you played? Did you care for how long you played? No, you just went and had a good time and without realizing it, you were getting the girls. Obviously in a much different way back then. Men, this is our fvcking playground, the women are just another toy to play with...
 
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