Girlfriend admitted to using Tinder for male attention. Dumped her. Right call?

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You have a good head on your shoulders, bud.
Thanks man. I tried to make the right call. Seems like the only solution was to manipulate the situation into my favor. She also cried the first time we had sex this morning. She came, then started crying. I just don't even know.
 
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bigneil

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You don't punish bad behavior. You just do nothing. You reward good behavior. Encourage that.
 

sazc

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Thanks man. I tried to make the right call. Seems like the only solution was to manipulate the situation into my favor. She also cried the first time we had sex this morning. She came, then started crying. I just don't even know.
whoa, this all sounds like it could end up no bueno for you....u sure she's not going to get all crazy on you? Good Luck!
 

oOh Nasty

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I'm glad that you've stuck to your standards. Others may try to tell you that you were overreacting, but I believe that one of the most important things in life is being as rigid as possible per our personal standards and listening to our gut always. Anything that you tell yourself to try to talk yourself out of that discomfort and accepting it as normal is a rationalization.
 

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Got bored and took a scroll through her Facebook messages, just to see if there's any reason to permanently cut this off. Firstly, I'm undecided if I should use her for sex since I don't even know if I want to see her. She is toxic as fvck.

Secondly, let this be a lesson to all men here: women fvcking lie. I was not super attached to this girl, but she seemed super into me and like a genuine sweetheart. I don't believe she was seeing anyone behind my back in our city, but she did in her hometown. Here's a list of lies:

1. Went to Italy in the spring for school. Was with her boyfriend (in America). Has messages telling beta looking guys she has a boyfriend. Has messages telling hot Italian dudes she's horny. Claims she has never cheated on a man. Could be true, she could have cut it off with him while away. Could be a lie. At this point, it doesn't even matter.
2. Told me she spent Thanksgiving with a close female friend. Went to her ex-boyfriend's.
3. Told me she only saw her ex at a gas station. Went to his house at 5:30am Friday morning. His messages at about 7am talked about her scent on his body. I don't know if they actually fvcked given the rest of the content, seems like they cuddled, but oh well. He knew she was fvcking me. He's a cuck, but I guess I am too now. At least I didn't know about it and put my foot down. I fvcking ate her out this morning, too. At least he seems like a pvssy and I doubt he's been screwing other chicks gicen how needy he seems with her.
4. Not only talks to her ex, but they also express love for one another and he's sorry for drinking too much and a whole bunch of other crap. She tells him she's trying really hard to fix this, meanwhile playing me.
5. When we met, claimed she had 5 sexual partners. Let this slide, knew it was a lie from the way she sucked ****. As far as I know, she has had 20+ partners.
6. Told me the lie about Tinder, with her and her friend using it.
7. Claimed she slept with two men between her ex and me and that they weren't together over the summer. Just perusing these messages, she has at least sexted with about five guys. Over Facebook. This doesn't even include her Tinder, Snapchat, or texts.

Fortunately I spent a total of maybe $10 on her, I made her buy everything. And at this point, even if she somehow managed to "earn" her exclusivity back, she has told so many lies that trust is utterly destroyed. I have lied to so many women. It's honestly easier not to and just be up front. If they ask if I've cheated, I say yes. I learned from hurting my ex. Wouldn't do it again. But some women seem incapable of learning. I likewise never judge women I'm seeing on sexual history until I have a reason to. Rather date a beautiful girl that screwed 15 guys and knows how to fvck than a virgin. Might marry the virgin, though.


Don't even know if she's worth smashing for fun. It's funny because this girl seems super well-adjusted and comfortable with life. Everyone thought my ex was BPD. My ex would never have done this. Fortunately a previous plate is down to hang out this week, and another girl wants drinks on Tuesday.

Seriously fvck monogamy. Six months is my new minimum before exclusivity. This site has taught me a lot. I don't buy into TRP, but there are undeniable truths within its philosophy. I feel like this site has a good balance of that + real life. This isn't my first account... been learning from this place since maybe 2013. The old me from 2011-2013 would have been absolutely crushed at this behavior. Now I'm more distraught that pvssy won't be served to me on a platter a couple nights per week until I'm balls deep in plates.
 
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sazc

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omg, im speechless! just wow. good call on kicking her out and moving on, etc. she's got issues.
 

Desdinova

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Seriously fvck monogamy.
I wouldn't necessarily say fvck monogamy. Here's a few things to remember:

- If you're exclusive with her, you'll need to dump her at the sign of the first major red flag. Orbiters, messaging ex-bfs, stuff like that. An exclusive relationship should be exclusive. Settle for nothing less.

- Look for women who are young and low-mileage. The top of their high score list shouldn't be all that difficult to reach.

That chick had her ex at the top of her list. When there's a dude permanently fixed at the top, she's worthless. Keeping her is like keeping someone else's raggedy t-shirt. Throw it away and have no regrets.
 

btownbuck2012

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Got bored and took a scroll through her Facebook messages, just to see if there's any reason to permanently cut this off. Firstly, I'm undecided if I should use her for sex since I don't even know if I want to see her. She is toxic as fvck.

Secondly, let this be a lesson to all men here: women fvcking lie. I was not super attached to this girl, but she seemed super into me and like a genuine sweetheart. I don't believe she was seeing anyone behind my back in our city, but she did in her hometown. Here's a list of lies:

1. Went to Italy in the spring for school. Was with her boyfriend (in America). Has messages telling beta looking guys she has a boyfriend. Has messages telling hot Italian dudes she's horny. Claims she has never cheated on a man. Could be true, she could have cut it off with him while away. Could be a lie. At this point, it doesn't even matter.
2. Told me she spent Thanksgiving with a close female friend. Went to her ex-boyfriend's.
3. Told me she only saw her ex at a gas station. Went to his house at 5:30am Friday morning. His messages at about 7am talked about her scent on his body. I don't know if they actually fvcked given the rest of the content, seems like they cuddled, but oh well. He knew she was fvcking me. He's a cuck, but I guess I am too now. At least I didn't know about it and put my foot down. I fvcking ate her out this morning, too. At least he seems like a pvssy and I doubt he's been screwing other chicks gicen how needy he seems with her.
4. Not only talks to her ex, but they also express love for one another and he's sorry for drinking too much and a whole bunch of other crap. She tells him she's trying really hard to fix this, meanwhile playing me.
5. When we met, claimed she had 5 sexual partners. Let this slide, knew it was a lie from the way she sucked ****. As far as I know, she has had 20+ partners.
6. Told me the lie about Tinder, with her and her friend using it.
7. Claimed she slept with two men between her ex and me and that they weren't together over the summer. Just perusing these messages, she has at least sexted with about five guys. Over Facebook. This doesn't even include her Tinder, Snapchat, or texts.

Fortunately I spent a total of maybe $10 on her, I made her buy everything. And at this point, even if she somehow managed to "earn" her exclusivity back, she has told so many lies that trust is utterly destroyed. I have lied to so many women. It's honestly easier not to and just be up front. If they ask if I've cheated, I say yes. I learned from hurting my ex. Wouldn't do it again. But some women seem incapable of learning. I likewise never judge women I'm seeing on sexual history until I have a reason to. Rather date a beautiful girl that screwed 15 guys and knows how to fvck than a virgin. Might marry the virgin, though.


Don't even know if she's worth smashing for fun. It's funny because this girl seems super well-adjusted and comfortable with life. Everyone thought my ex was BPD. My ex would never have done this. Fortunately a previous plate is down to hang out this week, and another girl wants drinks on Tuesday.

Seriously fvck monogamy. Six months is my new minimum before exclusivity. This site has taught me a lot. I don't buy into TRP, but there are undeniable truths within its philosophy. I feel like this site has a good balance of that + real life. This isn't my first account... been learning from this place since maybe 2013. The old me from 2011-2013 would have been absolutely crushed at this behavior. Now I'm more distraught that pvssy won't be served to me on a platter a couple nights per week until I'm balls deep in plates.
This right here just proves the point that any type of shady behavior from a woman that you're involved with should not be overlooked or taken lightly. Again, when your gut feels something is wrong, even if it's just a slight thing, drop her ass. The stakes are just too high otherwise. I tell ya, the audacity of some of these women...it's just unbelievable at times.
 

btownbuck2012

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Got bored and took a scroll through her Facebook messages, just to see if there's any reason to permanently cut this off. Firstly, I'm undecided if I should use her for sex since I don't even know if I want to see her. She is toxic as fvck.

Secondly, let this be a lesson to all men here: women fvcking lie. I was not super attached to this girl, but she seemed super into me and like a genuine sweetheart. I don't believe she was seeing anyone behind my back in our city, but she did in her hometown. Here's a list of lies:

1. Went to Italy in the spring for school. Was with her boyfriend (in America). Has messages telling beta looking guys she has a boyfriend. Has messages telling hot Italian dudes she's horny. Claims she has never cheated on a man. Could be true, she could have cut it off with him while away. Could be a lie. At this point, it doesn't even matter.
2. Told me she spent Thanksgiving with a close female friend. Went to her ex-boyfriend's.
3. Told me she only saw her ex at a gas station. Went to his house at 5:30am Friday morning. His messages at about 7am talked about her scent on his body. I don't know if they actually fvcked given the rest of the content, seems like they cuddled, but oh well. He knew she was fvcking me. He's a cuck, but I guess I am too now. At least I didn't know about it and put my foot down. I fvcking ate her out this morning, too. At least he seems like a pvssy and I doubt he's been screwing other chicks gicen how needy he seems with her.
4. Not only talks to her ex, but they also express love for one another and he's sorry for drinking too much and a whole bunch of other crap. She tells him she's trying really hard to fix this, meanwhile playing me.
5. When we met, claimed she had 5 sexual partners. Let this slide, knew it was a lie from the way she sucked ****. As far as I know, she has had 20+ partners.
6. Told me the lie about Tinder, with her and her friend using it.
7. Claimed she slept with two men between her ex and me and that they weren't together over the summer. Just perusing these messages, she has at least sexted with about five guys. Over Facebook. This doesn't even include her Tinder, Snapchat, or texts.

Fortunately I spent a total of maybe $10 on her, I made her buy everything. And at this point, even if she somehow managed to "earn" her exclusivity back, she has told so many lies that trust is utterly destroyed. I have lied to so many women. It's honestly easier not to and just be up front. If they ask if I've cheated, I say yes. I learned from hurting my ex. Wouldn't do it again. But some women seem incapable of learning. I likewise never judge women I'm seeing on sexual history until I have a reason to. Rather date a beautiful girl that screwed 15 guys and knows how to fvck than a virgin. Might marry the virgin, though.


Don't even know if she's worth smashing for fun. It's funny because this girl seems super well-adjusted and comfortable with life. Everyone thought my ex was BPD. My ex would never have done this. Fortunately a previous plate is down to hang out this week, and another girl wants drinks on Tuesday.

Seriously fvck monogamy. Six months is my new minimum before exclusivity. This site has taught me a lot. I don't buy into TRP, but there are undeniable truths within its philosophy. I feel like this site has a good balance of that + real life. This isn't my first account... been learning from this place since maybe 2013. The old me from 2011-2013 would have been absolutely crushed at this behavior. Now I'm more distraught that pvssy won't be served to me on a platter a couple nights per week until I'm balls deep in plates.
OP,

for our sake and amusement, you should have some fun with this girl and the next time you talk to her keep hinting about all this stuff you know now without actually telling her you looked through her facebook and come back here and tell us how she tries to play everything down. I'd be curious to hear how her hamster responds to being subtly confronted with this information piece by piece.
 

sazc

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Im a little surprised she gave you her passwords but didn't delete this stuff. This is the same one who is apologetic? It doesn't make sense
 

Filter

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OP,

for our sake and amusement, you should have some fun with this girl and the next time you talk to her keep hinting about all this stuff you know now without actually telling her you looked through her facebook and come back here and tell us how she tries to play everything down. I'd be curious to hear how her hamster responds to being subtly confronted with this information piece by piece.
Wish I did. Got drinks with a buddy and he suggested I kick her entirely, just in case things get crazier and I'm stuck with false accusations. She isn't reliable or trustworthy; clearly manipulative, so what would stop her from some weird legal rampage? Had to ditch her.

Received a ton of calls and texts. Responded when the situation allowed. She apologized for several things, including picking her ex up from work at 5.30am. This is legit I feel and that they didn't fvck, but she still lied about it, which is the same to me. Her ex has a bunch of DUIs.

Im a little surprised she gave you her passwords but didn't delete this stuff. This is the same one who is apologetic? It doesn't make sense
Yeah. Not sure what she expected, I was down to potentially give her another chance until I read some crap on there. Then it was immediately, "no." I mean what do you make of this? Is she still playing me, or am I reading too much into what isn't there? To be honest, I don't know. My gut tells me that if this is even a factor, ditch her.

I don't like ultimatums, but after her spam calling me, I picked up. I reiterated what I said above... this is a fvck buddy situation, she better earn exclusivity back. She hemmed and hawed and I got bored. Gave her 30 seconds and she simply said, "good luck." Wondering if I should tell her (ex)boyfriend everything.
 

narcissist

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Smh. This is why I am so over monogamy. If my current girlfriend does anything like that I will be done with relationships for a lonnnnnng time.

I agree with you on the honesty part. I will ALWAYS tell the truth. A real man that is not needy can tell the truth about anything. Lying is the product of fear and insecurity. If you are a secure man you can tell the truth about anything. 100% agree!
 

CuddleJunkie

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Filter, as you have said, you are not a cvck because you DIDNT know before hand. Now you do, ditch her, for your own dignity. If you keep on banging her just to have sex, you will hate yourself down the line for doing so. I would dump her this very moment, NC4EVER.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Got bored and took a scroll through her Facebook messages, just to see if there's any reason to permanently cut this off. Firstly, I'm undecided if I should use her for sex since I don't even know if I want to see her. She is toxic as fvck.

Secondly, let this be a lesson to all men here: women fvcking lie. I was not super attached to this girl, but she seemed super into me and like a genuine sweetheart. I don't believe she was seeing anyone behind my back in our city, but she did in her hometown. Here's a list of lies:

1. Went to Italy in the spring for school. Was with her boyfriend (in America). Has messages telling beta looking guys she has a boyfriend. Has messages telling hot Italian dudes she's horny. Claims she has never cheated on a man. Could be true, she could have cut it off with him while away. Could be a lie. At this point, it doesn't even matter.
2. Told me she spent Thanksgiving with a close female friend. Went to her ex-boyfriend's.
3. Told me she only saw her ex at a gas station. Went to his house at 5:30am Friday morning. His messages at about 7am talked about her scent on his body. I don't know if they actually fvcked given the rest of the content, seems like they cuddled, but oh well. He knew she was fvcking me. He's a cuck, but I guess I am too now. At least I didn't know about it and put my foot down. I fvcking ate her out this morning, too. At least he seems like a pvssy and I doubt he's been screwing other chicks gicen how needy he seems with her.
Lucky you. He probably isn't boning other females so you don't have to worry about catching nothing.

4. Not only talks to her ex, but they also express love for one another and he's sorry for drinking too much and a whole bunch of other crap. She tells him she's trying really hard to fix this, meanwhile playing me.
This is a bunch of bs. She just likes that attention of him still wanting her. Whats wrong with her?

5. When we met, claimed she had 5 sexual partners. Let this slide, knew it was a lie from the way she sucked ****. As far as I know, she has had 20+ partners.
She may have meant that she currently HAS 5 sexual partners, one regular and 4 irregular ones.

6. Told me the lie about Tinder, with her and her friend using it.
7. Claimed she slept with two men between her ex and me and that they weren't together over the summer. Just perusing these messages, she has at least sexted with about five guys. Over Facebook. This doesn't even include her Tinder, Snapchat, or texts.
They can sext without fvcking. Many do it for validation.

Fortunately I spent a total of maybe $10 on her, I made her buy everything. And at this point, even if she somehow managed to "earn" her exclusivity back, she has told so many lies that trust is utterly destroyed. I have lied to so many women. It's honestly easier not to and just be up front. If they ask if I've cheated, I say yes. I learned from hurting my ex. Wouldn't do it again. But some women seem incapable of learning. I likewise never judge women I'm seeing on sexual history until I have a reason to. Rather date a beautiful girl that screwed 15 guys and knows how to fvck than a virgin. Might marry the virgin, though.
If a virgin "cares" you can always train her to do the things you need, she will learn... And it feels better than having her adjusted by a few dozen other dudes before you.

Don't even know if she's worth smashing for fun. It's funny because this girl seems super well-adjusted and comfortable with life. Everyone thought my ex was BPD. My ex would never have done this. Fortunately a previous plate is down to hang out this week, and another girl wants drinks on Tuesday.
This is a true plate. A h0e who probably will be fvcking or setting up something with someone else no matter what she says to you. If the sex is good and you are pounding it often enough she may not get much side d1ck on you.

Seriously fvck monogamy. Six months is my new minimum before exclusivity. This site has taught me a lot. I don't buy into TRP, but there are undeniable truths within its philosophy. I feel like this site has a good balance of that + real life. This isn't my first account... been learning from this place since maybe 2013. The old me from 2011-2013 would have been absolutely crushed at this behavior. Now I'm more distraught that pvssy won't be served to me on a platter a couple nights per week until I'm balls deep in plates.
Yeah, there you go. That entire mentality is part of a an abundance of pvssy mindset. Glad you are there!
 

Trainwreck

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No offense, why are you not putting some blame on yourself for this? It's obvious this girl wasn't **** to behind with and you still invested a ldr in her. Successful people don't whine and moan about their bad investments. They learn from them and move on with their lives.
 

The Duke

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A lot of these situations we get our selves into can be eliminated by picking better stock from the start.
 

BeTheChange

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MASSIVE male hamstering on display here
Indeed. I've never seen such an egregious dismissal of blatant red flags and clear infidelity. Very likely OP will stay with her despite concrete evidence she is a class A hoe. She went over to her ex's house, lied about it but didn't sleep with him? Please.

Looks like he'll have to learn the hard way.
 

AttackFormation

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Indeed. I've never seen such an egregious dismissal of blatant red flags and clear infidelity. Very likely OP will stay with her despite concrete evidence she is a class A hoe. She went over to her ex's house, lied about it but didn't sleep with him? Please.

Looks like he'll have to learn the hard way.
Women aren't really the problem for men. It's their own egos.
 
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