Mature guys used to be single, do you still consider ltrs?

[Who Dares Win]

Had a conversation with a friend, to keep it short we basically said that once you pass your youth being single you get used to be free while getting resilient to dry spells and lack of external validation.

Also while your libido decrease so does your tolerance to bullsh1t and of course the look of women your age.

Do you believe that the more a guy gets used to live a single life the less there is a chance he will seek a relationship later on compared to a guy that just split up?

 

[Rainman4707]

I think I agree with what you're saying. From personal experience, from 18 to 24 I was happy going out drinking beers with the lads, playing football. I was VERY interested in girls, but didn't know enough about game to get enough women. Looking back, I feel I missed out. I should have cut down on the drink & studied more, but no point in regrets because I really enjoyed those years. Maybe the best years of my life =) I still got women, but I know a lot more now since i've studied & read books about women.

I think that now I've bedded a lot more women & now that i'm in a relationship, I do feel like I missed out when age 18-24, but like I say no regrets. If I wanted to go without women or LTR's & just go to gym & go for walks then I would do that, but over the last few years I've enjoyed having women in my life.

 

[Mike32ct]

Had a conversation with a friend, to keep it short we basically said that once you pass your youth being single you get used to be free while getting resilient to dry spells and lack of external validation.

Yes, that is true. I am very used to being free. I have a boss at work, but I don't have a second one at home. After work, I can do anything or nothing as I please.

I have also developed a nearly super-human dry spell tolerance. I'm in a multi-year one now. Maybe that means I'm perfect husband material lol?

Also while your libido decrease so does your tolerance to bullsh1t and of course the look of women your age.

Agreed. I'm even more picky now. Not so much about looks, but it certainly matters. I just want a great connection with someone that "gets me." But that's asking for a lot.

Do you believe that the more a guy gets used to live a single life the less there is a chance he will seek a relationship later on compared to a guy that just split up?

Generally, that is correct. Some guys have always had gfs. They are very uncomfortable being alone. After a breakup, that two week dry spell until the next position on the social circle relationship carousel (i.e. new girl you already know) is a killer lol.

The long term single guy might stay single as quality options dry up.

But am I still open to a LTR? Absolutely. While being long-term single and a strong introvert gave me extreme loneliness tolerance, it is slowly wearing thin over time.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Depends on your definition of "LTR". "Live In" LTRs, I've only done 2x. Majority of my 20's, with maybe a 1-2yrs of being single.

LTRs without living together is nothing. Walk in the park if she's worthy. Slightest drop of the hat & I will be looking else were. Now in my late 30's she'll have to pass a bunch of sh*t tests & atleast 2yrs dating before living together. I've never had a "live in" in my 30's and don't plan on it anytime soon. If I do they will be atleast 10yrs younger.

I was hit with the lucky stick so looks wise finding a broad 10yrs younger is easily obtainable.

 

[ubercat]

Well as the Grandpa of the thread here goes. I ve been married and had four live in LTRs > 2 years. My personal experience is for the relationship to be stable you do have to have higher smv than the girl. They do have an exaggerated sense of their own worth.

I think up to 10 years younger is not a problem if you have reasonable game. Over 10 years you better have money.

The key is to keep growing as a person. My current girlfriend is Chinese I'm learning Chinese. I've made a point of learning all the crazy sayings and honey words first. This has provided lots of little in jokes with the girlfriend.

She likes me to be the social leader. So I'm subscribed to 4 what's on guides for my city.

So you don't need to fear ltrs guys. The same DJ skills that made you an eligible lad around town stand you in good Stead. And of course always be willing to walk if they start in with the disrespect.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I have had a few relationships... few and far between.

The older I get, the more used to the single life I become. I'd like a LTR, but then I am also OK if I don't have an LTR. This means I can afford to be picky.

 

[@Jonanthony]

Never thought yes ..but now open to the idea.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My concept of a LTR at this point in my life is the girl coming over to fvck, possibly cooking me dinner afterward, and then leaving. One such arrangement of mine is going on four years now.

 

[The Duke]

Everyone is different, but I have noticed that my fellow friends in their late 30’s to early 40’s don’t care about dating like they used to. If it happens great, if not well that’s fine too is pretty much the outlook they have. Most all of us are perfectly fine going with out. At the end of the day most would like something stable.

In my late 30’s all I cared about was hot and fun. Those were pretty much the only 2 requirements I had!!! And I dealt with a lot of crazy drama. I ignored a lot of red flags. Sechs was pretty important. My ego wanted validated!
As I am now in my 40’s, I am pretty picky on who I go out with. My requirements are much more stringent. I reject girls more often than they reject me. If I see a red flag or something that bothers me, there is no discussion, I simply end it. That was rarely the case in my younger years. I don’t really care to be with a girl that doesn’t bring as much to the table as I do. My standards are at an all time high. I have what they all want so I won’t settle.

I had a first date a few weeks ago with a very attractive girl my age. On the date she ordered a $5 water in a sealed glass jar which tipped me off to what she was all about. I guess the table water wasn’t good enough for her. This is just not something I can tolerate. She also tried to steer the date the entire time. She was definitely interested and all over me, and I could have fuhked that by the 2nd or 3rd date. But these days I’d rather not go to the hassle.

Had another recent girl that was a solid 35yo HB9. She was one of these girls that spent most of her life as some rich guys toy. Once I figured that out, I knew there were more red flags beneath the surface and I didn’t need to stick around to find out for sure. But it felt good to turn her down. In my past I would have been all about it.

So yes I am looking for an ltr, and most of the girls in my age group are as well. If I don't find a solid girl, then no big deal either.

 

[Rainman4707]

Everyone is different, but I have noticed that my fellow friends in their late 30’s to early 40’s don’t care about dating like they used to. If it happens great, if not well that’s fine too is pretty much the outlook they have. Most all of us are perfectly fine going with out. At the end of the day most would like something stable.

In my late 30’s all I cared about was hot and fun. Those were pretty much the only 2 requirements I had!!! And I dealt with a lot of crazy drama. I ignored a lot of red flags. Sechs was pretty important. My ego wanted validated!
As I am now in my 40’s, I am pretty picky on who I go out with. My requirements are much more stringent. I reject girls more often than they reject me. If I see a red flag or something that bothers me, there is no discussion, I simply end it. That was rarely the case in my younger years. I don’t really care to be with a girl that doesn’t bring as much to the table as I do. My standards are at an all time high. I have what they all want so I won’t settle.

I had a first date a few weeks ago with a very attractive girl my age. On the date she ordered a $5 water in a sealed glass jar which tipped me off to what she was all about. I guess the table water wasn’t good enough for her. This is just not something I can tolerate. She also tried to steer the date the entire time. She was definitely interested and all over me, and I could have fuhked that by the 2nd or 3rd date. But these days I’d rather not go to the hassle.

Had another recent girl that was a solid 35yo HB9. She was one of these girls that spent most of her life as some rich guys toy. Once I figured that out, I knew there were more red flags beneath the surface and I didn’t need to stick around to find out for sure. But it felt good to turn her down. In my past I would have been all about it.

So yes I am looking for an ltr, and most of the girls in my age group are as well. If I don't find a solid girl, then no big deal either.

Good post.

When guys are older maybe they do reject girls more. Maybe this is because they feel they don't have as much to lose. Maybe some guys in who are in their twenties, next girls to soon.
If you drop a girl for a red flag, it might be the worst choice you ever make. She could be your soulmate. You could of had a happy family with her.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

I'll never marry or live with another woman again. I'm only interested in friendship with benefits at this point.

 

[Rippy]

I'm 41 and have been in 3 simultaneous LTRs (MLTRs) for the past few years. I'm getting bored with all of them. Plus, when I hit 40 my libido dropped substantially. One of my MLTRs recently dumped me because we were fighting all the time and I wasn't interested in having sex with her anymore. I thought about replacing her but really haven't had much interest.

I went out with a 36 year old a few days ago who was very full of herself. We bounced from one bar to a second. At the first one I paid and was waiting to see what she did at the second one. Well, she didn't offer to pay so I said, "Second one's on you." She got miffed but paid and then said, "I would think since you're an older gentleman and I'm younger that you would be paying." I said "You ain't that young."

She was pissed and called an Uber (we'd had a fair amount to drink). I walked her to her Uber, gave her a wave and said "Bye." She said "That's it?" I smiled and waved again and walked off.

Just a few years ago I would have tried to salvage the date somehow but these days.... I just don't care.

--------------------

Last week I had another first date with a woman who was 42. She was very sweet and offered to pay for the second round of drinks (I always bounce my first dates from bar to bar). But she was beginning to get jowls. I'd never dated someone with jowls before and I just wasn't attracted to her.

I had picked her up at her place and when we got back she invited me in and made it clear she wanted to have sex. I said no thanks. She seemed disappointed. Texted me a few times the next day asking what went wrong. I avoided answering the question directly but she got the hint that I wasn't into her so she stopped texting.

--------------------

I see middle-aged men as sort of equivalent to 18 year old girls as far as an overall blase feeling toward the opposite gender. Neither has enough testosterone to be that interested in sex so they end up turning it down when things aren't perfect.

Plus, I've seen it and done it all (never married) so I don't need notches just for the sake of notches.

Now I can understand young girls' ambivalence and why they flake. They don't have that drive that young men (and older women) do due to testosterone.

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TL;DR summary: When you get to be middle aged, your testosterone drops and that makes you care about scoring poon less, which makes you less willing to put up with dating BS. Also, it takes a very attractive woman to turn me on these days. The average and below-average girls who could still get me aroused up into my mid-30s just don't do it anymore.

 

[yuppaz]

I'm 41 and have been in 3 simultaneous LTRs (MLTRs) for the past few years. I'm getting bored with all of them. Plus, when I hit 40 my libido dropped substantially. One of my MLTRs recently dumped me because we were fighting all the time and I wasn't interested in having sex with her anymore. I thought about replacing her but really haven't had much interest.

I went out with a 36 year old a few days ago who was very full of herself. We bounced from one bar to a second. At the first one I paid and was waiting to see what she did at the second one. Well, she didn't offer to pay so I said, "Second one's on you." She got miffed but paid and then said, "I would think since you're an older gentleman and I'm younger that you would be paying." I said "You ain't that young."

She was pissed and called an Uber (we'd had a fair amount to drink). I walked her to her Uber, gave her a wave and said "Bye." She said "That's it?" I smiled and waved again and walked off.

Just a few years ago I would have tried to salvage the date somehow but these days.... I just don't care.

--------------------

Last week I had another first date with a woman who was 42. She was very sweet and offered to pay for the second round of drinks (I always bounce my first dates from bar to bar). But she was beginning to get jowls. I'd never dated someone with jowls before and I just wasn't attracted to her.

I had picked her up at her place and when we got back she invited me in and made it clear she wanted to have sex. I said no thanks. She seemed disappointed. Texted me a few times the next day asking what went wrong. I avoided answering the question directly but she got the hint that I wasn't into her so she stopped texting.

--------------------

I see middle-aged men as sort of equivalent to 18 year old girls as far as an overall blase feeling toward the opposite gender. Neither has enough testosterone to be that interested in sex so they end up turning it down when things aren't perfect.

Plus, I've seen it and done it all (never married) so I don't need notches just for the sake of notches.

Now I can understand young girls' ambivalence and why they flake. They don't have that drive that young men (and older women) do due to testosterone.

---------------------

TL;DR summary: When you get to be middle aged, your testosterone drops and that makes you care about scoring poon less, which makes you less willing to put up with dating BS. Also, it takes a very attractive woman to turn me on these days. The average and below-average girls who could still get me aroused up into my mid-30s just don't do it anymore.

I've also noticed at 37 that it takes much more attractive women to turn me on, and the challenge is more so finding them then anything.

 

[MatureDJ]

Had a conversation with a friend, to keep it short we basically said that once you pass your youth being single you get used to be free while getting resilient to dry spells and lack of external validation.

Also while your libido decrease so does your tolerance to bullsh1t and of course the look of women your age.

Do you believe that the more a guy gets used to live a single life the less there is a chance he will seek a relationship later on compared to a guy that just split up?

As bachelor who is eligible for AARP, I think that I can speak to this.

Get resilient to dry spells? Yes, but I spend a lot of time abroad and fill in dry spells with women who provide "personal services", so maybe because of that I don't feel it.

Get resilient to external validation? I'll interpret this as "not feeling shame for being a 'loser' who can't get a woman". I feel no shame, but I haven't felt any shame like this since adolescence.

Your libido decrease? I think the libido is there, but the screaming physical urge to put it in a hole definitely gets milder.

Tolerance to bullsh1t? Absolutely. I definitely put up with much less BS.

The look of women your age? I find the typical woman my age - even the ones that aren't matronly - totally unattractive and have ZERO motivation to even sit back and let them pursue me.

 

[MatureDJ]

I had a first date a few weeks ago with a very attractive girl my age. On the date she ordered a $5 water in a sealed glass jar which tipped me off to what she was all about.

I have always had the attitude that any woman of mine should respect my wallet.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I'm 43 and passing my time for children. This girl I'm with right now is the last girl I move in with. I have been dating for a long time and never been married. Closest thing was a 7 year ltr that I dumped because she was an alcoholic... even more than I am lol and that's a statement right there. I consider that a potential divorce I avoided.

After about 35 things change, the dating pool while fun has lots of damaged women. When I was younger girls just wanted to have fun. Now it's all about codependency and cohabitation. In my opinion things definitely change.

My libido is still healthy, I can bang my girl 5 times a day and still have some left for more. Before I would have what I called marathon sex days, where I would literally spend my hole day cycling through napping, eating, fuucking. Good times.

As far as the appearance thing goes, I have always had a thing for milfy ladies with big tits. So I'm banging at the top of what turns me on right now. In South Florida there's no shortage of hotties.

Hope this helps

 

[MrAddiction]

Good post.


If you drop a girl for a red flag, it might be the worst choice you ever make. She could be your soulmate. You could of had a happy family with her.

.???? Do you guys read the dj bible? The Book of Pool? Any redpill advice?
There is no one! There is for sure no soulmate! Otherwise is bluepillthinking!
Dropping a girl for only the slightest sign of a redflag will be the best or livesaving decision you ever made!
It will save you from a lot of stress drama and other ****, that definately is not worth the fcuk - no matter how good that might be. And I am telling from own experience. "Oh, it is just that little red flag - I can ignorie that, it won't be that bad. ...and she is so cute!..." Ignoring any red flag is a setup for failure.
And always remember:
There are a lot of weird chicks out there. It is not worse the stress. Getting rid of a girl for any sign of redflag always means in the words of pook: dodging a bullet!
Why care what you might miss out on? Better be happy about what drama you did not have to put up with.
I've been there, done that - I will never ever ignore any red flag again - no matter how small it will be. No Woman is worse it!

There is no one
There is no soulmate
The earlier a woman makes you feel like soulmate - the more of a redflag it is. BPD
No women will ever love you for who you are
Any redflag is a redflag is a stop sign
You do not want a relationship or children with a woman who had already redflags at the beginning.
It will bot get better - only worse!

MrAddict

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

My concept of a LTR at this point in my life is the girl coming over to fvck, possibly cooking me dinner afterward, and then leaving. One such arrangement of mine is going on four years now.

You are my hero... Although waking up with a warm naked woman on a Daturday morning after a night of ****ing is pretty nice too.

 

[Rainman4707]

I k

.???? Do you guys read the dj bible? The Book of Pool? Any redpill advice?
There is no one! There is for sure no soulmate! Otherwise is bluepillthinking!
Dropping a girl for only the slightest sign of a redflag will be the best or livesaving decision you ever made!
It will save you from a lot of stress drama and other ****, that definately is not worth the fcuk - no matter how good that might be. And I am telling from own experience. "Oh, it is just that little red flag - I can ignorie that, it won't be that bad. ...and she is so cute!..." Ignoring any red flag is a setup for failure.
And always remember:
There are a lot of weird chicks out there. It is not worse the stress. Getting rid of a girl for any sign of redflag always means in the words of pook: dodging a bullet!
Why care what you might miss out on? Better be happy about what drama you did not have to put up with.
I've been there, done that - I will never ever ignore any red flag again - no matter how small it will be. No Woman is worse it!

There is no one
There is no soulmate
The earlier a woman makes you feel like soulmate - the more of a redflag it is. BPD
No women will ever love you for who you are
Any redflag is a redflag is a stop sign
You do not want a relationship or children with a woman who had already redflags at the beginning.
It will bot get better - only worse!

MrAddict

I knew the word "soulmate" would get me crucified on this site. "Mr addict" I think you're to much red pill!!

 

[EmotionalGeek]

What are most important red flags?