Dealbreaker or no? Me I am out

[exhausted]

Because women don't have boundaries or they're not super scared of losing their man.

Take for instance, your GF was dating Ryan Reynolds. She wants to go for a girls weekend to vegas to party with her single friends that Ryan knows are sex up the clubs. Ryan says it's not ok with him for her to go to vegas, dress slutty, get attention from other males, and put herself in a state of emotional play with alcohol and men all around. Do you think said GF would respect his wishes because he has so much value or not give a **** and go anyway?

GF would tell her girlfriends and they'd say he's an ******* and no fun, but deep down she'd respect him even more

I understand your point but knowing my girl she thought she could go and get away with it, make amends after and about **** herself when i would not budge. she was mad and hostile, flipping out and crying and i just remained composed and said why are you mad at me and being mean to me? i explained my position of how this is inappropriate and i dont approve and will NOT be in a relationship with you if you do things like this. I will NOT live a life where i am left behind and you go off and spend family time with your ex. she thought i was bluffing. Spoiled brat used to getting everything and now as an adult cant comprehend or handle not getting her way.

 

[exhausted]

Well I'm about to go to bed. But I'll tell you something basic that you're dad should have told you (my dad told me).

Never raise another man's kids. Out of all the women, and all of the possibilities in the world, you choose that. It shows a lack of options on your part. Serious weakness - typical fear and laziness, the worst parts of masculinity.

How many random children are you going to raise in your life, cuck? All with absolutely no rights over these random spawn. You will never provide for these particular lovechildren again (probably for your own good, to be honest).

You have absolutely no understanding of this game. Men are disposable in the family unit. Step-dads are filth - nothing but tools.

Sort of ironic that you start to have principles over a pumpkin party, but whatever gets you there eventually.

Learn better for the future. There is a wealth of development here for you, if you listen.

Makes sense. I spun plates for seven years and had a great time then I just got tired with the game of it. When this girl came about i was very hesitant, thought the same thing as you were saying, too many problems for me, no thanks, her situation showed she makes poor choices and even with her uncle, who is a great guy, pushing it about for me to meet up with her and date her, for over a month i declined, ( i was this guys physical therapist in the home and that is how i met her) she had a kid and i dont want or need that bull****, hell she even asked me out because i didnt. You are right about most of it though, except that i have always emphasized mutual respect and boundaries, though this line was crossed and it is a dealbreaker for me, i wont sit home while my girl is off with her ex and kid making family memories, **** that ****.

 

[ubercat]

Well if you don't mind rice or bean pie why not get yourself a Latina or Asian immigrant girl who's got her green card and been around for a few years. Good fun less spoilt and make great mums.

 

[exhausted]

Well if you don't mind rice or bean pie why not get yourself a Latina or Asian immigrant girl who's got her green card and been around for a few years. Good fun less spoilt and make great mums.

I wouldn't be against that , hell I wouldn't be against a quality woman of any culture if one so exists.

 

[ubercat]

Well u still have to manage them but not all the time and they re generally smart loyal and hard working. imagine an American girl but 30% better

 

[Glassguy]

Hate is love disguised by jealousy.

Control your own game - not hers.

"Hate is love disguised by jealousy".

This is very true. The fact that women even talk about their ex in a negative way shows the ex still has some control in their life. Its a woman's way of verbalizing the fact they are still holding on to something that didn't work or they cant have anymore.

I dont walk around talking positively or negatively about my exes. I dont talk about them at all because they are no longer a part of my life.

OP- I would have been the same as you were in this situation. I would have told her how I felt about her going with the ex and deep down, hoped that she went. The moment that she had the balls to even consider it would have made it easy to flip the switch on her.

And lets face it, the ex didnt invite her so that she could see the kid. He is a man just like us and he has his own agenda.

I have had women do this to me before. They say "We do things together for the kids sake". Bullsh!t. You do it because there is still some interest there, thanks for making this an easier choice than what I thought it was going to be. C-ya later.

If you were very clear with her before she did this, she made that decision. Tell her she disrespected you and your wishes and now she can do her own thing, you dont trust her anymore and she cant have her cake and eat it too. Her choice. If you stick around, it WILL happen again. Don't prolong the inevitable. Run.

 

[exhausted]

"Hate is love disguised by jealousy".

This is very true. The fact that women even talk about their ex in a negative way shows the ex still has some control in their life. Its a woman's way of verbalizing the fact they are still holding on to something that didn't work or they cant have anymore.

I dont walk around talking positively or negatively about my exes. I dont talk about them at all because they are no longer a part of my life.

OP- I would have been the same as you were in this situation. I would have told her how I felt about her going with the ex and deep down, hoped that she went. The moment that she had the balls to even consider it would have made it easy to flip the switch on her.

And lets face it, the ex didnt invite her so that she could see the kid. He is a man just like us and he has his own agenda.

I have had women do this to me before. They say "We do things together for the kids sake". Bullsh!t. You do it because there is still some interest there, thanks for making this an easier choice than what I thought it was going to be. C-ya later.

If you were very clear with her before she did this, she made that decision. Tell her she disrespected you and your wishes and now she can do her own thing, you dont trust her anymore and she cant have her cake and eat it too. Her choice. If you stick around, it WILL happen again. Don't prolong the inevitable. Run.

Yes sir i agree and did just that.
Thank you
After she went against what i explained was inappropriate and i wont be around if it happens she attempted to see me continue to he together and i refused. I explained it with a diff example in which she then said the understood and then she apologized and said she will never do anything of the sort again and i said too late i dont believe her and think she will do it again and im done.
I was very composed and allowed the situation to be her fault so nothing can be put on me.

She has my 500$ kayak amd a key to my house but i noticed yest she blocked me from fb. Ha. She knows i will want my things so blocking me i figure is a way to get my attention.

 

[The Duke]

Single moms are fine to date, but you will never have any power over her kid(s) like you would your own. You will be expected to attend their activities, birthdays, etc. But when it comes to disciplining and/or correcting the child's bad behavior you will have zero control/power. You will be the bad guy when you try to. You won't ever get any points for all the good things you do either. You won't ever get any respect for stepping in and fulfilling a "fatherly" role. You put the work in, are flexible, and help out, yet those single mommies never reciprocate or even value what you bring to the table. They just expect it.

You don't gain any additional respect or privileges for going above and beyond and helping out with her kid. Just look at how she did you on the pumpkin painting activity.

Women only value things that make their vagina's tingle. Helping out with her kid(s) doesn't make tingles. Only do things for women that generate tingles.

Its the same reason the beta orbiter/nice guy that helps mount her tv, fixes her car, etc never gets anywhere. Those things aren't tingle generators. They don't earn you any points, and mean little to them.

 

[Glassguy]

Yes sir i agree and did just that.
Thank you
After she went against what i explained was inappropriate and i wont be around if it happens she attempted to see me continue to he together and i refused. I explained it with a diff example in which she then said the understood and then she apologized and said she will never do anything of the sort again and i said too late i dont believe her and think she will do it again and im done.
I was very composed and allowed the situation to be her fault so nothing can be put on me.

She has my 500$ kayak amd a key to my house but i noticed yest she blocked me from fb. Ha. She knows i will want my things so blocking me i figure is a way to get my attention.

Just ignore. Act indifferent because you should be at this point. She did it once, and if she gets away with it this time, it will happen again. I wouldnt even give her examples. You asked her not to do it, she did it anyways, the end.

Go ghost. Dont mention her blocking you. Be indifferent.

 

[CMNILS87]

Yes sir i agree and did just that.
Thank you
After she went against what i explained was inappropriate and i wont be around if it happens she attempted to see me continue to he together and i refused. I explained it with a diff example in which she then said the understood and then she apologized and said she will never do anything of the sort again and i said too late i dont believe her and think she will do it again and im done.
I was very composed and allowed the situation to be her fault so nothing can be put on me.

She has my 500$ kayak amd a key to my house but i noticed yest she blocked me from fb. Ha. She knows i will want my things so blocking me i figure is a way to get my attention.

Never date single mothers. Period. Have your fun and lose them. Most the time they just want somebody to fuvk their brains so thy can continue to deal with the stress of a bratty little kid 24/7. You're obviously super in love with this chick by how angry you are and still venting. Go grab a new hobby or an old one and invest in yourself big time.

 

[exhausted]

Never date single mothers. Period. Have your fun and lose them. Most the time they just want somebody to fuvk their brains so thy can continue to deal with the stress of a bratty little kid 24/7. You're obviously super in love with this chick by how angry you are and still venting. Go grab a new hobby or an old one and invest in yourself big time.

2.5 years together and she crosses this boundary I am appalled and feel betrayed for such disrespect.

 

[exhausted]

There's something you're not telling us about your ex's ho nature or diminishing interest.

My guess if she was not an obvious cheat then you wouldn't expect her to potentially start f*cking her ex again.

I thought the boundary you set was a little severe but you know much more about her nature and your relationship. Sounds like a gut instinct move you made. Once she broke the boundary you had no choice.

She hates the guy but doesnt matter to me it is inappropriate to do such things with your ex out of school and sport functions.
She is the most jealous controlling girl i have ever dated she would kill me if i did that with my ex. Inappropriate and unnacceptable to me. I wont stand for it.

 

[exhausted]

Just ignore. Act indifferent because you should be at this point. She did it once, and if she gets away with it this time, it will happen again. I wouldnt even give her examples. You asked her not to do it, she did it anyways, the end.

Go ghost. Dont mention her blocking you. Be indifferent.

She knew from the beginning it was wrong and im sure she wanted to see her kid for a bit but still chose to cross my line of respect and figured i would just deal with it after she weasels her way back to me.
She tried to seduce me and apologize and say she will never again that she understands now. Nope. It is unnacceptable.

 

[Weaver]

I am not disagreeing with you [deesade] but why is dating a girl who has a kid so bad?

I'm not sure anyone can explain why it's bad if--considering your age and the fact that you've had access to the collective wisdom of SS for over two years--you don't already know. Not much can be added to the existing wealth of info about alpha fux/beta bux.

You should be honest with yourself: would you want to raise another man's child even if you got nothing from the mother in exchange? If you spend resources on bastard spawn in order to gain access to the mother's body, then you are weak and desperate, and the woman knows it. She'll likely never respect you or value you as much as she does the exciting bad boy who knocked her up when she was younger, lighter, tighter. When you put yourself in a situation like that, you cannot control the frame, and unauthorized pumpkin painting is the least of your concern.

 

[exhausted]

There's your monstrous red flag right there. It's called "projection."

Negative. Its mutual respect.
Afterwards she agreed and told me she would not be happy if the roles were reversed.

 

[exhausted]

Listen mate, your eventual boundary ends up coming from a weak place. You are trying to mate-guard a slag.

You shouldn't really give a toss who she wants to invite to her pumpkin party. Be above it.

She has to go w this guy for school orientation and sign ups. Ive been to school events where he is around. I go to soccer games and hes around. I know the drill abd have no problem w it. But going to get tog to do pumpkins in a personal situation is inappropriate.

 

[exhausted]

I'm not sure anyone can explain why it's bad if--considering your age and the fact that you've had access to the collective wisdom of SS for over two years--you don't already know. Not much can be added to the existing wealth of info about alpha fux/beta bux.

You should be honest with yourself: would you want to raise another man's child even if you got nothing from the mother in exchange? If you spend resources on bastard spawn in order to gain access to the mother's body, then you are weak and desperate, and the woman knows it. She'll likely never respect you or value you as much as she does the exciting bad boy who knocked her up when she was younger, lighter, tighter. When you put yourself in a situation like that, you cannot control the frame, and unauthorized pumpkin painting is the least of your concern.

Thats the thing he is neither exciting or a bad boy he is a ***** who is a loser in life in every way. Im the badass and prob why she wanted me around to begin with. Seriously

 

[PantyWhisperer]

"Hate is love disguised by jealousy".

This is very true. The fact that women even talk about their ex in a negative way shows the ex still has some control in their life. Its a woman's way of verbalizing the fact they are still holding on to something that didn't work or they cant have anymore.

I dont walk around talking positively or negatively about my exes. I dont talk about them at all because they are no longer a part of my life.

I would tend to agree, but if you've ever spent any time around single parents who pass kids back and forth, the subject of their ex comes up often. Complaint or praise, they are still connected by the kid. Now if there are no kids, then I agree, you shouldn't hear a peep about their ex, not even a "you fvck me so much better than my ex did"
But if there are kids, there's always going to be mentioning of the ex.

Which is another great reason not to deal with women with kids. Pure folly.

 

[exhausted]

I would tend to agree, but if you've ever spent any time around single parents who pass kids back and forth, the subject of their ex comes up often. Complaint or praise, they are still connected by the kid. Now if there are no kids, then I agree, you shouldn't hear a peep about their ex, not even a "you fvck me so much better than my ex did"
But if there are kids, there's always going to be mentioning of the ex.

Which is another great reason not to deal with women with kids. Pure folly.

yep agreed.
I have many exes and I never speak of any of them for any reason to the girl I am seeing.
Just about all Girls are stupid and selfish and only care about themselves.

 

[channingtatum]

It looks like I'm in the minority here, but I think you way overreacted. Has she ever done anything else that would imply she perhaps still has feelings for this guy? I hate to break it to you, but you will always be #2 to her son. It's not a bad thing for the child to see both his mother and father can hang out with him together in a civil manner. In fact, what she did was healthy. If it becomes a habit, that's a problem. But right now, I personally think you're acting like a child about it.