"Forget your pride"

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

So I got a girlfriend for the first time in like 4 years and we broke up several days ago (she initiated). I never really focused on women too much prior to this, except toying around with them here and there and trying some of the stuff you guys say every once in a while, but overall I was trying to focus on myself and just have fun and build a social network. Well anyway this girl literally threw herself to me when we first met. She was definitely not relationship material but I figured I might as well get some experience in with all of this 'cultivating' and 'preparing' I did for once I actually did get into a relationship. She was a 7, maybe a 7.5 on a good day when I first met her. 3 months later she is a 5, maybe a 5.5 lol.

But anyway, right before we separated she was being all whiny and being a drama queen and stuff so I do me and just ignore it and leave her to herself. She kept texting her friends that she is upset and that I should be there. I do my part and do ask what's up (not like a b!tch mind you, I keep it a bit lighthearted and try to have some fun with it and she does laugh too), but I told her "Look, I don't beg. It's just not me. I'm gonna ask one more time what's wrong or I'm gonna leave" and she tells me to just go. I don't beg. Fvck. That. So anyway I end up going back inside to go bowling with our friends and stuff (our circle went out bowling this specific night) and they're telling me how I need to be there for her more. I explain my red pill side in a socially acceptable way and they totally get my side but say that I need to be there for her more just a little bit. Well anyway I really didn't care too much about what they are thinking, I mean I was listening here and there just to be able to respond back to them, but in my mind I was thinking "What is more beneficial to me? What do I gain from this?" like the sociopath I am haha and all the time talking to them faking that I did care a little when I could care less whether the girl died the next day. Overall, I stuck with it just to see how things would play out, but one thing struck me, while we were talking about my now ex, one of her friends was saying "I get that you have pride but like come on, you gotta care a little bit. Forget about it just go to her" and she was pausing a little too at some parts, insinuating that I should 'forget my pride'.

I was appalled by this implication but I did not show it. It gets me wondering though, why would someone ever forget their pride? When would it ever come useful in real life situations? I could understand toning it down, but to give it up is outrageous.

 

[PumpFake]

Honestly if she was a 5... you're better off without her! There are loads of beautiful single women out there dude. You'll be fine. I'm sorry for you and 4 years is a long time and granted there will be times when you miss her a bunch but keep your pride. Don't give it up.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Honestly if she was a 5... you're better off without her! There are loads of beautiful single women out there dude. You'll be fine. I'm sorry for you and 4 years is a long time and granted there will be times when you miss her a bunch but keep your pride. Don't give it up.

No you got this wrong dude, she was a 7 when I first met her about 3 months ago. She became a 5 towards the end of our relationship which lasted like 2 months lol. I got with her because she was easy as heck and threw herself onto me like 2 days after we started talking (no lie). I wasn't with her for 4 years either, that would have been horrible. I was saying how the last time I got into a relationship was when I was 13 (which was 4 years ago since I am now 17). I really don't care about her, I mean if she commit suicide tomorrow and left a note saying that it is because of me I can honestly say I wouldn't care unless there were some legal repercussions behind it. I was just asking about why someone would tell another person to forget their pride.

 

[Ratiocinative]

There are times were you need to be caring for your girlfriend, like if someone she was close to died, or she's being bullied at work, something like that. If she's upset for some silly reason and just acting like a child, and you ask her what's wrong and she doesn't want to communicate like an adult, you can and should leave and go do your own thing. Calmly and clearly tell her what about her behavior is unacceptable, and that you're leaving but she can call you when she's ready to act like an adult.

Not sure why they are talking about your pride. If a woman's, or anyone's, behavior is childish you should go spend your time elsewhere. That's just common sense and self-respect.

 

[marmel75]

The methods you use to get into a relationship are not the same methods to use to stay in a relationship

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Not everything is a **** test... Sometimes women need to know that they can lose the plot but that you will still be there for them. I This has to be balanced though with having consistent boundaries.

Having pride is essential. That doesn't mean you can never admit you were wrong or when necessary maybe even compromise. That just makes you a stubborn jerk.

Valuing the opinions of people who are not a part of your relationship or have no understanding of the red pill seems silly. WTF do they know anyway.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The methods you use to get into a relationship are not the same methods to use to stay in a relationship

Good point. I knew what I had to do to keep the relationship I just chose not to do it. I only got woth her for the experience really.

You successfully avoided your nagging girlfriend, only to hang out with her nagging friends instead.

They nagged you, and tried to get under your skin. It worked.

In future, when you want some peace and quiet for your soul, hang around with male friends instead.

It didn't get under my skin. And not all her friends are girls too, she's friends with guys as well. The same for me. I'm asking for your guys' thoughts on forgetting your pride, not what I could have done better. I don't see how this showed my as getting butthurt over it...

That's your problem right there. If you really had that much pride, you would have walked away 3 months ago.

True. I only got with her for the experience and fun of it really. I stopped caring about her towards the end because she began to repulse me, which she did not before.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Not everything is a **** test... Sometimes women need to know that they can lose the plot but that you will still be there for them. I This has to be balanced though with having consistent boundaries.

Having pride is essential. That doesn't mean you can never admit you were wrong or when necessary maybe even compromise. That just makes you a stubborn jerk.

Valuing the opinions of people who are not a part of your relationship or have no understanding of the red pill seems silly. WTF do they know anyway.

I asked because I was stalling for time thinking about whether or not this is beneficial for me or not and what exactly it is that I gain from this relationship. I did gain something from asking them though. It reaffirmed my beliefs as to who she is and how she is as well as how her friends are and how they percieve the world and others around them. Needless to say I cut the bad fruit off the tree and removed those toxic people from my life lol. Was I being less caring towards the end? Yes. Does it matter? No. I would have dropped her the day after. She repulsed me and wanted me doing all the work. Someone like that doesn't even deserve an explanation as to why my behavior changed. She has too much of an ego to want to do things for herself and expects things from others. Plus, she was disgusting too (I won't go into details). She was not like that when I first met her. I simply made her like me less so that she would want to leave. I knew exactly what I needed to do to keep her liking me, I knew exactly hpw I was supposed to hold her, look at her, and talk to her to keep her. I didn't want to stay with her. If I had done everything right she would be kissing my feet right now trying to get back together with me or she would have killed herself from me being disgusted by her.

And when I know when I am wrong about something, I admit it and even make fun of myself for it. I usually am not though as arrogant as that sounds. Also, people do understand the red pill if you present it to them in an understandable way. You need to be able to tie it into relatable values or values that society respects. It really isn't that hard.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

White knights are worse than women in many ways, and you need to establish clear boundaries with them.

Personally, I don't accept people prying into my relationships in that way (neither family nor friends), unless they are men whose opinions I respect.

Let it be like water off a duck's back.

Those people were just trying to manipulate you.

I see. Just trying to learn and grow. I find it strange how they would want to manipulate me though. It's nearly impossible to do so to me nowadays, but I do wonder what their intentions are.

 

[Von]

The relationship died cause you didn't give a **** about her.

She might have been "low" quality or declining but that's a sign she's not happy or she not alright.

Her *****/whinning attitude was an attempt to make you feel and show you care.

Obviously it didn't work

Pride is not what makes you win the war.

Yet, always keep your self-respect. It's something you need for her to respect you.

And like above: Having the girl ain't the same as keeping her.

Frame is about being strong in your self-respect, about being strong in the moment. In the LTR it's about being strong for the couple and open to her.

She wasn't right for you. Nothing wrong, just move on

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Well, I wasn't there.

But It seems like their intention was to have you do what was right for her - not what was right for you. They aren't looking out for your interests.

Their language was used with the intent to get you to behave in the way that they saw fit. You can discredit it as such.

If it was men behaving in this manner, then they are bootlicking white knights. Keep them at arms length. Perhaps play video games with them, or do other hobbies, but keep them well away from any of your plate spinning.

True stuff. I feel like I already know this but haven't embraced it yet until now. It seems that I still have some parts of me that are still repressed by society. Thank you for your advice.

 

[Trump]

So I got a girlfriend for the first time in like 4 years and we broke up several days ago (she initiated). I never really focused on women too much prior to this, except toying around with them here and there and trying some of the stuff you guys say every once in a while, but overall I was trying to focus on myself and just have fun and build a social network. Well anyway this girl literally threw herself to me when we first met. She was definitely not relationship material but I figured I might as well get some experience in with all of this 'cultivating' and 'preparing' I did for once I actually did get into a relationship. She was a 7, maybe a 7.5 on a good day when I first met her. 3 months later she is a 5, maybe a 5.5 lol.

How did your girlfriend go from a 7.5 to a 5 in 12 weeks?

But anyway, right before we separated she was being all whiny and being a drama queen and stuff so I do me and just ignore it and leave her to herself. She kept texting her friends that she is upset and that I should be there. I do my part and do ask what's up (not like a b!tch mind you, I keep it a bit lighthearted and try to have some fun with it and she does laugh too), but I told her "Look, I don't beg. It's just not me. I'm gonna ask one more time what's wrong or I'm gonna leave" and she tells me to just go.

What? There has got to be more to the story than that. And bro I wouldn't tell a girlfriend "I'm going to ask you one more time what's wrong and then I am out of here." She's not your employee, she's the girl you are sleeping with. Even if she's irrational or acting on her emotions, she needs comfort.

Overall, I stuck with it just to see how things would play out, but one thing struck me, while we were talking about my now ex, one of her friends was saying "I get that you have pride but like come on, you gotta care a little bit. Forget about it just go to her" and she was pausing a little too at some parts, insinuating that I should 'forget my pride'.

I was appalled by this implication but I did not show it. It gets me wondering though, why would someone ever forget their pride? When would it ever come useful in real life situations? I could understand toning it down, but to give it up is outrageous.

It depends what the situation is. If your girlfriend is having sex with her ex then no, don't forget your pride. If your girlfriend got upset you didn't take off your shoes in her house, then yes, forget your pride. You have to look at the each situation and adapt accordingly. Nothing is etched in stone or cut and dry. Even red pill.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

How did your girlfriend go from a 7.5 to a 5 in 12 weeks?



What? There has got to be more to the story than that. And bro I wouldn't tell a girlfriend "I'm going to ask you one more time what's wrong and then I am out of here." She's not your employee, she's the girl you are sleeping with. Even if she's irrational or acting on her emotions, she needs comfort.



It depends what the situation is. If your girlfriend is having sex with her ex then no, don't forget your pride. If your girlfriend got upset you didn't take off your shoes in her house, then yes, forget your pride. You have to look at the each situation and adapt accordingly. Nothing is etched in stone or cut and dry. Even red pill.

She went to a 5 because she suddenly became pale with unlively in skin tone, showed her immense distaste for physical fitness and laughed at, almost mocked, how I worked so hard at my physical prowess (something I take great pride in), gained weight, and she lived like a pig. She had a horribly messy room & car. I stopped wanting to do anything sexual with her after she got a pet bunny. Once, she carried it onto her bed and it began pooping all over it. But I was able to tell through her body language and her closing the door behind us that she still wanted us to fvck on that same bed that had rabbit **** all over it. When she saw the rabbit ****, all she did was laugh a little. Her breath started to stink too so I didn't wanna make out or kiss her anymore too. Someone like that does not deserve an explanation, it should be common sense to know that YOU SHOULD NOT F*CK WHERE YOU SH*T.

She does not deserve comfort when I ask her 5 or 6 times what is bothering her and she doesn't want to tell me. I only asked her that many times so that our friends would understand that I did 'try' with her, though in reality I didn't give a crap because I know damn well that she just wanted me to keep on asking her what was wrong just so she could see how far she could push me, just to feed her already super-sensitive and overly inflated ego. She had no reason to feel bad, nothing in her life had changed at that point in time, she just decided that at that moment she wanted to be stressed out and upset.

I am too good for her. This is not arrogance, I know my value and I deserve better than someone who doesn't mind fvcking around in rabbit sh!t all day. Thinking about it now, I don't think the average female would do such a thing like that, I think of her as a 3 now because of all that. She was NOT like that when I first met her. The more I think of her, the more revolting she is to me. I can tell through how her personality is that even if I told her all these things nicely and what she can do to fix it, she would not do a damn thing and would expect someone like me and someone better than me to succumb to her every whim.

Hell nah bro, don't go saying how I needed to be there for her more, I don't play games like that, I even told her that I don't like to play games too (I did a few times though just to beat her at it because it was a bit funny in hindsight). I will not tolerate that kind of bullsh!t because she wants to see how far she can use me. I will not be used. I told her this as well, and I am sad to say that now as I am looking back at it, I probably did get used a few times since I gave her gas money a fvck ton of times and paid for her car oil and paid for most of our 'dates' as few as they were and how I paid for food several times too. I paid for her a few times because she said she didn't have money because she EXPECTED me to pay for her. That's insulting. I stayed with her longer than I wanged to so that I could learn how all of this would play out. She ended up texting me how she wanted to break up. I replied with 'same lol bye' and deleted the text and her number within 5 minutes after that (not immediately after because hey, I had to show my sister and laugh about my response with her ya know?). But yeah someone like that is undeserving of ANYTHING from me. Not even an explanation. Someone like that does not want to better themselves because they have too much of an ego to think that there is anything wrong with them. They will just pull you down due to their lack of self-esteem to make themselves feel better. This is why I have absolutely no mercy for this girl. She should speed up evolution and just kill herself already.

Anyway, you got me rambling on a tangent now, I almost forgot about my original question: why do you think they would tell me to let go of my pride? deesade provided me with what I believe to be their intentions, though I could still use the insight of others.

 

[devilkingx2]

She went to a 5 because she suddenly became pale with unlively in skin tone, showed her immense distaste for physical fitness and laughed at, almost mocked, how I worked so hard at my physical prowess (something I take great pride in), gained weight, and she lived like a pig. She had a horribly messy room & car. I stopped wanting to do anything sexual with her after she got a pet bunny. Once, she carried it onto her bed and it began pooping all over it. But I was able to tell through her body language and her closing the door behind us that she still wanted us to fvck on that same bed that had rabbit **** all over it. When she saw the rabbit ****, all she did was laugh a little. Her breath started to stink too so I didn't wanna make out or kiss her anymore too. Someone like that does not deserve an explanation, it should be common sense to know that YOU SHOULD NOT F*CK WHERE YOU SH*T.

this reminds me of a girl i had a thing with in high school who smelled like she was boycotting deodorant and toothpaste 24/7, but when there's a famine you'll eat dog food.

i regret stooping that low, but i don't regret getting some action.

 

[blind_one]

I believe pride and self respect to be two different things. In your case its a whole different story since I guess you were not that attracted to her.

Pride has its place but first and foremost have self respect.

Always remember :

What do you have to lose ?

And quoting many others and most of all I guess Poon King :

"Just do what you want and own it "

Of course there are situations when you can act proactively without acting like a pvssy but after all is said and done, you can tell yourself that you did your best.

Sorry If I was a little off topic but I think you get my point.

 

[Reykhel]

Nemesis always follows hubris...

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Two points, as is TMK's way...

insinuating that I should 'forget my pride'.

-What blue-pill folks call pride, red-pill people know as self respect.

You don't need whinging and drama after 3 months, nor anytime there after. The world is full of crybabies right now, men and women, who cry over the slightest little thing. Grown up adults are able to process their own emotions for the most part, not needing someone else to 'be there' for them, especially if they're not willing to actually get over it and problem solve. That's a trademark of latent insecurity for me.

-That being said, if you are going to get in to a relationship, a woman is going to want more than just casual hook ups and companionship. She'll usually want security of some sort - emotional, financial, social or whatever. So just bear that in mind for future. You'll be completely incompatible with a good 80% of the population; most people fail to ever realise this and get in to and stay in stagnant, unhealthy relationships.

 

[Reykhel]

Two points, as is TMK's way...



-What blue-pill folks call pride, red-pill people know as self respect.

You don't need whinging and drama after 3 months, nor anytime there after. The world is full of crybabies right now, men and women, who cry over the slightest little thing. Grown up adults are able to process their own emotions for the most part, not needing someone else to 'be there' for them, especially if they're not willing to actually get over it and problem solve. That's a trademark of latent insecurity for me.

-That being said, if you are going to get in to a relationship, a woman is going to want more than just casual hook ups and companionship. She'll usually want security of some sort - emotional, financial, social or whatever. So just bear that in mind for future. You'll be completely incompatible with a good 80% of the population; most people fail to ever realise this and get in to and stay in stagnant, unhealthy relationships.

In fairness, not everything is that black and white (or red and blue)

This is what the OP said to her: "I'm going to ask you one more time what's wrong and then I am out of here." Do you really think that came from a place of self respect? do you really think that came from security? did this come from a strong frame?

To me it sounds like someone....."acting the way he feels he should act...." .........this dogmatic way of thinking turns people into very structured individuals and it comes across as quite stubborn........

I don't feel it's beneficial to the OP to delude him and tell him it's everyone else's fault......what's to be learned in that case?

I think what's missing in this whole story is a better understanding of frame....

It sounded like a really aggressive ultimatum being thrown at her rather than perhaps.......viewing her behavior as amusing and not that important..........why demand to know what's wrong with her???

.....but to me......HE BOUGHT INTO HER FRAME.........with his aggressive ultimatum and instead of being viewed as a cool, suave dude in control of his emotions........he was viewed as a petulant child......

If we don't recognize our own mistakes, it's impossible to learn from them.

Easier to throw out the generic red pill blue pill answer and high five each other and stay locked in delusion thinking the problem is always outside.......

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Easier to throw out the generic red pill blue pill answer and high five each other and stay locked in delusion thinking the problem is always outside

I agree with introspection and self-reflection, and generally regards ultimatums. I suppose I was talking more generally. I think in this instance OP tried to be diplomatic, rather than discharging cold, clinical, robotic frame control - we are humans, not robots, as are our subjects. This generally is my modus operandi too - give people a chance, though I do pay particular attention to warning signs early on nowadays however. Ultimatums are only weak if they aren't eventually actioned.

Women are emotional creatures; that cannot be neglected. It doesn't mean being an emo tampon, but one intrinsic value of a material is durability under stress.

It's like everything else. Decide what your tolerance level is and stick to it. Unfortunately it's only usually apparent after testing, I can certainly.

All things considered though, indeed, why bargain with a 5/10.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

i regret stooping that low, but i don't regret getting some action.

I am the same way. I do not like the class she is and the class of people she surrounds herself with because it is a type of trash I cannot relate to (some trashy people I can relate to and don't feel threatened by) nor one who will understand me. But I am happy woth the fact that I (in my opinion) played everything right and knew exactly what her intentions and mindset was whenever I dealt with her or her friends. I got some action and some knowledge.

I believe pride and self respect to be two different things. In your case its a whole different story since I guess you were not that attracted to her.

Pride has its place but first and foremost have self respect.

Always remember :

What do you have to lose ?

And quoting many others and most of all I guess Poon King :

"Just do what you want and own it "

Of course there are situations when you can act proactively without acting like a pvssy but after all is said and done, you can tell yourself that you did your best.

Sorry If I was a little off topic but I think you get my point.

I knew that I needed to act like a full blown wimp and show weakness in order for her to try to talk to me, hence why I didn't care for how she decided to feel that day. Now of course if she really had some issues that she was trying to fix herself instead of relying on others like she did all the other times, I would have been more sincere.

Nemesis always follows hubris...

My extreme sense of self was the only way I could maintain my character and integrity when surrounding myself with those people. I am not currently aware of other ways to maintain myself without being how I am towards her and her friends. If there are other ways, I would like your insight.

In fairness, not everything is that black and white (or red and blue)

This is what the OP said to her: "I'm going to ask you one more time what's wrong and then I am out of here." Do you really think that came from a place of self respect? do you really think that came from security? did this come from a strong frame?

To me it sounds like someone....."acting the way he feels he should act...." .........this dogmatic way of thinking turns people into very structured individuals and it comes across as quite stubborn........

I don't feel it's beneficial to the OP to delude him and tell him it's everyone else's fault......what's to be learned in that case?

I think what's missing in this whole story is a better understanding of frame....

It sounded like a really aggressive ultimatum being thrown at her rather than perhaps.......viewing her behavior as amusing and not that important..........why demand to know what's wrong with her???

.....but to me......HE BOUGHT INTO HER FRAME.........with his aggressive ultimatum and instead of being viewed as a cool, suave dude in control of his emotions........he was viewed as a petulant child......

If we don't recognize our own mistakes, it's impossible to learn from them.

Easier to throw out the generic red pill blue pill answer and high five each other and stay locked in delusion thinking the problem is always outside.......

Reykhel, it's not like this didn't happen before. This happened one other time where I tried making conversation and she wasn't having it and clearly tried to show that there was something wrong. I asked her what was wrong this time just like I did las time, and she said nothing was. And just like last time, I told her "you seem quiet and you are never like this and you know it too, what happened?" And the same response. I asmed a few more times in dofferent subtle ways to pry out what her deal was just like last time. The only difference was that last time I told her "ok it seems like you need some space, I'll give it to you then". And several minites of complete silence and me just playing on my phone, she tells me what is up and the tension is gone.

This time however, I say, "Dammit -----, I know something is up and I know you want me to ask you about it too, you aren't very good at hiding your emotions from me" and she laughs. My tone of voice saying all this was much different than how it may seem when reading it. The only time I ever sounded serious with her was when I told her that I don't beg and gave her the ultimatum. She wanted me to comfort her and kiss her ass. I refused to. She couldn't handle her lack of control over me and decided to say how she wantes to break up. When she texted me that, it was her last try at trying to make me compromise my own free will for her. She wanted me to text her back asking why or what I did wrong or why she is so mad and then what I could have done to be a better boyfriend. I know how she is. The only reason why she didn't text me back after I sent her "lol same bye" is because one of her friends most likely told her to not talk to me anymore and then started talking hella **** about me. How do I know this? Because I spent time with her and her friends long enough to know what type of people they are.

Thing is, I got her laughing and more upbeat and joked around with her to keep things a bit more playful than sad and whatnot. She decided to stay upset once I asked her again what her problem is DESPITE texting my friends how she wanted me to come talk to her. It was at that point that I had delivered what you called as the ultimatum.

As TMK stated, I did try to be diplomatic, she wasn't cooperating. I wasn't having it so I did what I had to do.

I agree with introspection and self-reflection, and generally regards ultimatums. I suppose I was talking more generally. I think in this instance OP tried to be diplomatic, rather than discharging cold, clinical, robotic frame control - we are humans, not robots, as are our subjects. This generally is my modus operandi too - give people a chance, though I do pay particular attention to warning signs early on nowadays however. Ultimatums are only weak if they aren't eventually actioned.

Women are emotional creatures; that cannot be neglected. It doesn't mean being an emo tampon, but one intrinsic value of a material is durability under stress.

It's like everything else. Decide what your tolerance level is and stick to it. Unfortunately it's only usually apparent after testing, I can certainly.

All things considered though, indeed, why bargain with a 5/10.

This is very true, I gave her a chance, she didn't take it. I wasn't gonna be her b!tch. Plus she became a helluva lot less attractive. Why should I put up with the atrocities of someone who degenerated well below my own intrinsic value with absolutley no intent to improve? Someone like that is not deserving of my sympathy or mercy.

While she became a rainstorm of upset frustration, I remained stagnant and unmoving, and as Poon King had said, women control you through controlling your emotions. She could not control me.