Friend zone fun

[Bsmith64]

Absolutely Cut the line. Remember we have huge debates here on if u should persist past 3 dates with no puss. 5 years WTF?

Lol dude she was 16 when I met her. We were friends. It turned into feelings by phone. It's only been 1 year since that happened and 6 months of that was spent back with her ex. Another month or two I didn't talk to her. It's been a year since it started, just not a year straight.

 

[Bsmith64]

She is an attention wh*re. And you will be too, unless you start problem solving.

See how she is dragging you down?

Yes. It's actually making me mad that she's doing this today. My natural instinct is to be a jerk, but I just ignored them. Just got another as I'm typing. 3 of them in 20 min.

I mean...realistically how long should I just ghost her before I can reach out a little? I mean I know I've gotta let go and do my own thing, I'm just saying...if I want to try and press for a date...when will I know is the right time? Or do I let her come to me?

Especially while she's still doing this nonsense...

 

[marmel75]

Yes. It's actually making me mad that she's doing this today. My natural instinct is to be a jerk, but I just ignored them. Just got another as I'm typing. 3 of them in 20 min.

I mean...realistically how long should I just ghost her before I can reach out a little? I mean I know I've gotta let go and do my own thing, I'm just saying...if I want to try and press for a date...when will I know is the right time? Or do I let her come to me?

Especially while she's still doing this nonsense...

You should stop living in fantasy land thinking anything is going to happen with this woman and go out and bang other women and forget about her completely.

Ironically, doing this will likely give you the best chance of the result you want.

Amazing how that works, isn't it?

 

[Bsmith64]

You should stop living in fantasy land thinking anything is going to happen with this woman and go out and bang other women and forget about her completely.

Ironically, doing this will likely give you the best chance of the result you want.

Amazing how that works, isn't it?

I know. Like I said...I'm definitely working on it. I'm learning the ropes. I'll get there soon, it's just putting all the pieces together for me. I know it's my best chance, I know I need to forget, but for now..it's easier said than done. But I appreciate it and I'm working on it and myself.

 

[Skyline]

Yes. It's actually making me mad that she's doing this today. My natural instinct is to be a jerk, but I just ignored them. Just got another as I'm typing. 3 of them in 20 min.

I mean...realistically how long should I just ghost her before I can reach out a little? I mean I know I've gotta let go and do my own thing, I'm just saying...if I want to try and press for a date...when will I know is the right time? Or do I let her come to me?

Especially while she's still doing this nonsense...

I would reply and escalate into a date. If she denies your request, or isn't receptive on the date if she says yes, then there is your answer.

The only reason a woman reaches out to a man is because she is thinking of him. It doesn't take much to make a date happen at that point. But if she has her own agenda, meaning no interest sexually, then she's a waste of your time.

 

[Igetit!]

Dude,you.............

You know,I looked at your join date. It says you just joined yesterday.

No you didn't. You joined 7 years ago,here....

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index....nge-her-from-a-friend-to-a-girlfriend.158452/

5 years ago,here......

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index....riendzone-manning-up-at-your-own-risk.184358/

6 and a half years ago,here....

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/a-real-challenge-for-you-experts.169434/

8 years ago,here.......

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/in-love-with-my-bestfriend.150015/

Dude,I can go on and on.

In the first thread I linked,the dude spent 10 years trying to date the girl he was in the friendzone with.

Same thing with the second,he also spent 10 years trying to get his friendzone crush.

The third,he spent 6 years chasing his girl. The fourth spent over a year.

NONE OF THEM ever got the girl. They wasted all those years running round in circles,being played......like someone using a laser pointer...shining that red dot on the ground,making the cat chase after it,running in circles like an idiot......while the chick just sits back and laughs,being entertained.

I looked back at your original post. You said the chick TOLD YOU that she "can't see" herself with you......and that she admitted that she "strung you along". So she used the ole' laser pointer on you,had you chasing that red dot...that illusion of her possibly having interest in you...........held the piece of food over your head,just out of reach.....had you standing on your hinds legs like a dog begging for a treat. All that bullsh!t. And here you are with us,asking.....

...realistically how long should I just ghost her before I can reach out a little?

And this bullsh!t here....

I'm just saying...if I want to try and press for a date...when will I know is the right time? Or do I let her come to me?

Told you she can't see herself with you,told you she strung you along....and you're ignoring all that and still trying to date her.

Un-believeable. Then you say this....

Since the first night I moved back though...she's been much more distant and is getting in with him more. It's starting to take its toll and even with me being on tinder (and doing fairly well), etc...I'm not handling it well. She doesn't see it, bc Ive remained pretty steady with her, but it's kicking my butt.

So the fact that she's with another guy is "STARTING TO TAKE IT'S TOLL" on you....that "you're not handling it well"....and it's "kicking your butt". So basically,you're going through emotional pain/HELL dealing with her,and her refusal to date you.

GOOD. Maybe all this unneccsary pain and hurt will wake you up to REALITY one day and you'll come to your senses,and move on to someone who "can see themselves with you" and who doesn't "string you along".


Mindboggling that a16 year old child can have this sort of effect on a grown azz 27 year old man.

Yes....I know....she's not 16 now,she's 21 and you're 32,but that's when this sh1t started. Even so,a 32 year old man should have more dating experience,at least enough so that a chick 11 years younger than him shouldn't be able to toy with him like this.

You need to hang around this forum for a while.

You're not there yet,but if you continue,you're going to end up like this....

In love with my bestfriend

It's from the "in love with my best friend" thread,reply #69. The dude got so twisted chasing and trying to make something happen with the girl who friendzoned him,the FOOL actually said that he hoped that the girl hated him so then at least she'd feel something for him.

That's some sick sh1t.


I've seen your replies to others,so I know there's no point in trying to talk any sense into you,but I'm glad you made this thread,though. This thread can be added to all the others I linked,so maybe the next guy who comes here who's been chasing some chick who friendzoned him will see all the threads together,realize he's the latest to think his friendzone situation was "different",and maybe after reading the threads and seeing HIMSELF in them,it'll make him wake up faster to this folly and move on.

Far as you,well,if.....

5 years,
the chick being involved with someone else,
the girl flat out TELLING YOU she can't see herself with you,
all this sh1t "kicking your butt" and "taking a toll" on you,
her texting some other guy while she was with you...then leaving you to go be with him
this chick telling you that her "guy" wanted to meet you,

if ALL THAT has failed to knock any sense into you,no one post (or even a collection of them) here is going to do it.

I guess you think your situation is "different" Everything you said here in your original post...everything....ALL OF IT....it's already been said and posted in the links I gave. One of you two moving away,then coming back.....a guy talking about being hurt and suffering over this......a guy saying how their friends or other people mistakenly thinks they're already a couple.....you giving an ultimatum trying to get her to hang out with you...........it's all been said before....I can go thread by thread and show you each of your comments in the friendzone threads above.


In reply #16,you said you knew she went and stayed the night with some other dude when she told you she was going to bed. So you think she went and had sex with the guy. Same thing from reply #10 in the "challenge for you experts" thread here....

A real challenge for you experts.
Your situation is no different,neither will your results be. The only difference (maybe) will be the length of time you spend running round in circles chasing that red dot.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Are you having sexual interaction of any kind with her?

 

[Bsmith64]

I mean I appreciate the tough love. No bs. But you said all of that without saying what ? Walk away? Tell her to burn in hell? What I'm saying is, I know I had my opportunities and didn't take them...the whole point of the thread is, with my mistakes is this salvageable? IF I turn into a less needy b****? I'm trying to walk away. It's not just a crush it's someone I'm very close with. I ignored interest and disinterest because I didn't know any better. If you closely read everything (which it seems you did), you'll realize I'm brand new to this and very inexperienced despite my age. It took all these years for me to figure out I was the problem. Spent all these years being the "nice guy" only to realize the nice guy isn't really very nice at all. I treated her like she owed me something. Treated her like a gf when she was never anything. I'm not saying she's innocent, bc she's not, but from what I've gathered about the female psychology in trying to learn this stuff...my unattractive behaviors basically chased her off regardless of how she felt.

I get you don't think there's a shot, but I'm looking for your opinion on what to do. That's all I'm after. Like I said...I appreciate everyone's input. Truly, I do, but I like having a positive and negative outcome to look at. Just the overly analytical personality type that I am...again, something I'm working on.

And yes, I plan on hanging around. I want to learn all there is to learn. I've never had a good dating influence in my life. Which is why I'm admittedly weak and constantly confused. I'm here to learn.

Thanks again dude.

 

[Bsmith64]

Are you having sexual interaction of any kind with her?

No. If not for her having a bf, who moved in before I moved closer to her, my gut tells me it'd happen, but since he's already kinda anchored down...I don't think it'll happen until
1. I'm better at doing what I need to do.
2. He screws up
If at all. These guys here don't seem to think so unless I make a change...which I'm working on!!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No. If not for her having a bf, who moved in before I moved closer to her, my gut tells me it'd happen, but since he's already kinda anchored down...I don't think it'll happen until
1. I'm better at doing what I need to do.
2. He screws up
If at all. These guys here don't seem to think so unless I make a change...which I'm working on!!

If she has a bf why waste time on her? Date ladies you can and are phvcking

 

[devilkingx2]

don't talk to her for like 2 weeks so you can clear your head and focus on other things, in the mean time figure out if there's anything you get from associating with her, after 2 weeks you can decide if she offers any value as a friend or if any conversations you have with her are a waste of your time

 

[Bsmith64]

don't talk to her for like 2 weeks so you can clear your head and focus on other things, in the mean time figure out if there's anything you get from associating with her, after 2 weeks you can decide if she offers any value as a friend or if any conversations you have with her are a waste of your time

That seems reasonable. I'm doing nothing but spinning my wheels right now. Have some dates lined up this week, so that'll help too. I'm just tired of getting hit up every day when I'm trying to get away. It's borderline annoying that I can't just ignore her in peace. Haha.

 

[Bsmith64]

I've been getting chewed out in a few texts completely unprovoked. Mad about last night I jokingly giving her a hard time about getting permission to talk to me.

...she's tripped the f out. Cussing me up and down. I've barely replied and it's making her even more mad. I wanna be done with this, but I don't wanna seem petty about it. My current dilemma.

 

[marmel75]

I've been getting chewed out in a few texts completely unprovoked. Mad about last night I jokingly giving her a hard time about getting permission to talk to me.

...she's tripped the f out. Cussing me up and down. I've barely replied and it's making her even more mad. I wanna be done with this, but I don't wanna seem petty about it. My current dilemma.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again. Now fvck off." Then delete her number. Stop giving into her drama and allowing her to pull you into her frame.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've been getting chewed out in a few texts completely unprovoked. Mad about last night I jokingly giving her a hard time about getting permission to talk to me.

...she's tripped the f out. Cussing me up and down. I've barely replied and it's making her even more mad. I wanna be done with this, but I don't wanna seem petty about it. My current dilemma.

Poon king just said that the "hot girls" are "wild animals" and I'm believing this to be true. They have moved unchecked for far too long. They go after whatever their lust and desire wants and they don't care how they get it.

 

[Bsmith64]

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again. Now fvck off." Then delete her number. Stop giving into her drama and allowing her to pull you into her frame.

I've just been dragging it along. I'd post here if I could, but she's been using quite a bit of profanity lol. I mean I honestly am laughing at the fact she's so mad.

I agree...she needs to be checked though. For sure.

 

[Bsmith64]

Poon king just said that the "hot girls" are "wild animals" and I'm believing this to be true. They have moved unchecked for far too long. They go after whatever their lust and desire wants and they don't care how they get it.

She's cute, but she's not one that every guy would find "hot". I totally agree though. No one holds them accountable for their BS.

 

[devilkingx2]

That seems reasonable. I'm doing nothing but spinning my wheels right now. Have some dates lined up this week, so that'll help too. I'm just tired of getting hit up every day when I'm trying to get away. It's borderline annoying that I can't just ignore her in peace. Haha.

good work, keep it up.

for the record, value as a friend means that you have some reason to talk to her of your own volition and that she doesn't cost you anything. just imagine her as a guy and if you'd continue to associate with that guy, then in a few weeks you can consider being her friend.

I've been getting chewed out in a few texts completely unprovoked. Mad about last night I jokingly giving her a hard time about getting permission to talk to me.

...she's tripped the f out. Cussing me up and down. I've barely replied and it's making her even more mad. I wanna be done with this, but I don't wanna seem petty about it. My current dilemma.

if you're not getting laid you don't have any motivation to deal with her BS, block her or ignore her for a while.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again. Now fvck off." Then delete her number. Stop giving into her drama and allowing her to pull you into her frame.

You know why guys like OP keep coming back and replying to their own thread? And mind you they don't post any sort of useful info, such as how the other dates he had lined up turned out, or definitively blocking this bitching attention wh0re. Every reply is some sort of new angle on their "friendship" (relationship to them); no real useful info though.

OP is an attention wh0re and likes drama, that's why.

 

[Bsmith64]

You know why guys like OP keep coming back and replying to their own thread? And mind you they don't post any sort of useful info, such as how the other dates he had lined up turned out, or definitively blocking this bitching attention wh0re. Every reply is some sort of new angle on their "friendship" (relationship to them); no real useful info though.

OP is an attention wh0re and likes drama, that's why.

No need for personal attacks dude. I haven't mentioned the other date details because that's not the point of this thread. This isn't about them, it's about the original post. The title doesn't read "friend zone fun and my other dates" Feel free to not reply or read anymore if it bothers you that much. But this should be about dudes trying to help one another along, not bash them to make yourself look cool or feel better.

Again...I'm new to all this. Very inexperienced. Everything I post is so I can learn more. No, I haven't blocked her yet, because I don't want to look petty after what happened last night. I'm just going to fall way back like has been suggested. As for the other dates, they've been fine, but nothing of any real importance to note. Again...still trying to crawl out of my shell. Spent my whole life being scared of this crap...it doesn't just magically change. I plan on continuing to read what's been posted by others in the past and if I have further questions about my dates that aren't answered, I'll make a post pertaining to that.