Came on too strong, or didn't push far enough, which one is it homie? Attraction was there to get her back to his place but not for the actual ****ing...it's not a done deal if you guys just get the girl back to wherever.
So where did I f**k up? Or did I?
- Thread starter Tony197
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marmel75
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Its the same thing I always say in these situations. You escalate in date and you back off and act aloof outside of dates. He did he opposite. Fail. He didn't escalate enough in date and then he upped the "escalation" outside of the date instead of backing off.
It played out like "Oh damn...I was so close!! I gotta get her back ASAP to pick up where I left off!!---You OK? I really like you! When can I see you again?"
And that is BS. A woman who goes back to a man's place on a first date is giving him a green light to fvck. If it doesn't happen it's not on her, it's on the dude for not having enough game to get it done.
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Getting through LMR is a bit of an art. You probably should have pushed harder. In terms of making her hornier. Even if she gets away she should be breathless, pink and grinding on you. The texting was a horror show. That is what lost the gig not the night. Chicks r weird. I ve had them come back to mine and found they were on their rags.
marmel75
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That's when you say "Oh well, guess there is always Anal." in a completely serious tone.
And yes, that has worked a few times for me...
I dunno man. If someone says "That's enough", then I'm not going to risk it. Besides, it's not like she said "I'm not sure" and I started apologizing.
Way I see it, she essentially said "No", I respected boundaries, ended the night on a high note, then made contact a few days later...so yeah, chicks are weird.
So anyway to salvage this? Call in a week? Text in a week?
mrgoodstuff
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These weren't no first time anal chicks tho?
marmel75
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Women don't want guys who respect their boundaries. Women want men who push their boundaries.
You can try but I doubt it. Not only didn't you deliver when she gave you the green light, regardless of what she was saying, you really did terrible in the follow up to that.
TheMonkeyKing
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-With this bird, you don't do anything more until she gets back in touch. You've called and asked her out and she hasn't responded. If she does get back to you, you need to be light and with an air of zero fcks given. You also probably shouldn't mention meeting again either, unless she does. You have been far too over-eager already with this one.
-You have to learn to genuinely give zero fcks. When you do not give a single fck, your life with women becomes infinitely easier.
-Less with the compliments, and going on about what a nice time you had. She knows you had a nice time, don't be like every other guy on the block. I realise this is what they do in the movies, but it's not how real life works. Don't be soft and romantic, that's not what turns women on. Telling her what to do, telling her how sexy she is, leading the way and making decisions will turn her on.
-You don't ask the girl out again the day after a date; it shows her you have nothing going on in your life and you're basically waiting around to see her again. You wait until the next week. You text her, set a date, then you go about your business, not giving a fck. Get a life outside of women, spin loads of plates. Women want a man who is desired by other women.
-What you do need to is date more girls. A lot more. With the greatest of respect, you really need the practice.
-You are coming from a place of scarcity and you reek of it. Women can smell weakness on a man like a shark can smell blood. Respect yourself, believe in yourself, be proud of yourself, otherwise no one else will.
Funnily enough, my scarcity mentality only springs up when I lose something - whether an LTR or a great date. Otherwise, I'm fine. It seems like my issue is I just don't like losing. So like you said, I just need to work on not giving a sh!t.
I will say this - we had only met once before and she almost bailed before the date. She also made a comment about Brock Turner (Stanford guy). So could I have been more aggressive? I mean, I guess...but what if she comes back later and makes accusations? This could've turned out badly. So in hindsight, kiss goodnight, leave it at that, call the next week, IMHO.
I will say this - we had only met once before and she almost bailed before the date. She also made a comment about Brock Turner (Stanford guy). So could I have been more aggressive? I mean, I guess...but what if she comes back later and makes accusations? This could've turned out badly. So in hindsight, kiss goodnight, leave it at that, call the next week, IMHO.
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I don't like losing either.
The time between when I first engage a woman and our first f*ck is when I "care" the most about possible loss.This is the main reason I only put emotional energy into things where I have a competitive advantage. If a woman has HIGH interest then you have a competitive advantage with her. Once you learn of your competitive advantage.. you get physical and f*ck her brains out regularly. Once you've done that, you move forward living on your own terms and allow the woman to decide if she wants to sick around or not. Once I've f*cked a woman's brains out a few times I stop caring about what happens next. Usually don't care much if she stays or leaves at that point. The way I see it.. if we are naturally compatible then she will stick around. If we are not.. then she will leave.
But compatibility often has an expiration date due to female hypergamy AND the fact that women's goals change over time.
daddymonsterpoodle
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Yeah, let a woman know you are a sexual person not a SNAG but so long as you made your intentions clear, "no" isn't the end of the world. Not ****ing on a first date is not the end of the world either. In fact getting it to boiling point then the man saying, "thanks. I'm going to bed now. See ya later" can make the Hamster almost explode. Next date they will almost rape you.
Also we don't know history. The woman I am seeing now had been living a monastic lifestyle for 2 years. We had 4 or 5 dates before we hit it. I always made my interest and intention clear. We have a great time.
Question- if you guys have a "don't give a ****" attitude, why are you so desperate to hit it the first date? Chill out. Strong frame means knowing you will hit it, but you can enjoy the game as well without needing to rush. IMVHO
Also we don't know history. The woman I am seeing now had been living a monastic lifestyle for 2 years. We had 4 or 5 dates before we hit it. I always made my interest and intention clear. We have a great time.
Question- if you guys have a "don't give a ****" attitude, why are you so desperate to hit it the first date? Chill out. Strong frame means knowing you will hit it, but you can enjoy the game as well without needing to rush. IMVHO
marmel75
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I don't need to hit it on a first date, in fact I rarely do. However, if a woman green lights you to hit it by putting herself in your home and you try a little and then give up, you are only ****blocking yourself.
KingBeef
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[QUOTE="Tony197, post: 2369129, member: 133407"
I will say this - we had only met once before and she almost bailed before the date. She also made a comment about Brock Turner (Stanford guy). So could I have been more aggressive? I mean, I guess...but what if she comes back later and makes accusations? This could've turned out badly. So in hindsight, kiss goodnight, leave it at that, call the next week, IMHO.[/QUOTE]
Don't stress this girl at all.... She's either into you or she's not. Personally speaking, if I ever had a chick accuse or almost accuse me of being like some sexual predator, I would get rid of her an instant. The nerve of her, she could be a disaster that you want to avoid. Spin more plates....
I will say this - we had only met once before and she almost bailed before the date. She also made a comment about Brock Turner (Stanford guy). So could I have been more aggressive? I mean, I guess...but what if she comes back later and makes accusations? This could've turned out badly. So in hindsight, kiss goodnight, leave it at that, call the next week, IMHO.[/QUOTE]
Don't stress this girl at all.... She's either into you or she's not. Personally speaking, if I ever had a chick accuse or almost accuse me of being like some sexual predator, I would get rid of her an instant. The nerve of her, she could be a disaster that you want to avoid. Spin more plates....
daddymonsterpoodle
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I agree but I don't see coming to your house as an automatic green light. Sure, it is an indicator of interest but the OP actually had very little contact before she came over. Interest isn't ****ing. Interest is the possibility. Personally, I think he did the right thing. I wasn't there so I don't know how hard he pushed it. His follow up was seemed a little needy, apart from that finishing a date on a good vibe doesn't seem like a bad idea.
Well my normal pattern with LMR at my place is I invite them over again. Unfinished business hanging just poisons the well. I think once you ve got to that point you ve got a short opportunity window. As long as your not restraining the girl physically escalate as much as u like. She knows where the door is. Only exception is very drunk chicks - don't go there.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
if it's somehow your fault that she wouldn't let you smash, then she's nuts and it's not your problem.
however, you should at least escalate to the point where she stops you, as opposed to stopping where she says she wants to stop, because she may go further than she says she would or that she says she wants to
however if you don't want to push too hard then don't, she'll either resist less next time like this:
or this will happen: