Yeah, I'm 40, but let me tell you, I grew up Loved Very much early on as a child. My teens I started losing my identity (school does that, I think, just wipes your hard drive over time and causes you to "get ready" for the business world). In my mid 20s I tried desperately to return to my child mind, my True identity. I was dying to remember who I was, who my parents Loved me into being early on. A movie (from my childhood, my mother took me to see) zapped me back to who I was, then at that exact moment a girl zapped me back into who I was, who I was meant to be, and who I became again, and who I am NOW. It's kinda one of an Honest Boy, where integrity is paramount, where it hurts my conscience terribly to lie or to experience others lying about something vital. Before then, my life was a complete fakery LIE created by the school system, by people not my family, by strangers, by the Institution that tried to shape me and almost genocided me.
Light zapped back into me and welled from within me, EMOTION returned, I could Cry again, not outta sadness, but out of happiness/love. This energy can pick you up and be the current hopefully into to old age and even to close to death. Other people (and their thoughts) be damned! I do not care. THIS is who I am. I have women tell me that they do not like that I say that I do not want a fat woman (they themselves Fat). They say, "beauty is on the inside." I retort with, "A man has a right to his Opinion!" They try to CHANGE my mind. I say, "Who the HELL do you think you ARE??" You must stand your ground with these hoes.
Sure, you become more wrinkled, more crows feet, more tired eyes, more flab/sag/droop with old age (men can keep it going longer I might add, I'm living proof, I eat pretty healthy, am fit (except belly kinda)), but your inner light will override that and make you look younger, your calmness, your no worries is attractive to younger women. Experience is attractive to younger women.
You worry about being a pariah. Some of the most INTELLIGENT thought-provoking people to ever walk the face of this planet called Earth are/were called "pariahs." They self-admitted that they were simply TOO male to hold on or carry on a long-term relationship with most women. Being too male is being too concerned for the truth! being too icy or too biting under the layers of reality. Women don't wanna hear it and it's a turn-off to most of them to be based in reality. That's a Man's world. Your comfort will be with other men discussing Reality. Women will retire to the kitchen, or together among themselves away from the men. Think Thanksgiving, Christmas diners. Men smoking cigars, sipping brandy, discussing Men's issues, grave issues about the world.
Much of colleges today are filled with IDIOTS. You are who you associate with. If you cannot think on your feet, in any situation, in any environment, then what good are you? but another "social butterfly" that a woman is at default. You don't want to be like woman. You're a venturer. You don't Need protection. You can go just about ANYwhere by. your. self. A woman can't do that, bad things can certainly befall them because of Evil Men out there. Of course, Sam Colt made em all "equal." Still so, a woman aught not be a nomad or lone traveler in this world. Think on your feet. Have your own mind. "A man has a right to his own Opinion." MANY MANY of today's weakling Americans say you can't say or think this or that. The thought police. You say, "A man has a right to his Opinion..." "Who the HELL do you think you ARE??" and "A man has a right to stand up for himself!"
Sure, if you go into a place to order food By Yourself, the person behind the counter most definitely treats you worse than the Couple (man and woman) who just ordered (or who orders after you). You are looked down upon by the "cool" guy making $8 behind the counter, but I laugh, because just because they are couple does not (definitely does not) make them "Better" than me (even if they have their kids scurrying around at their feet). Sure they have something special if it lasts. I must admit that I am a slightly bit jealous, and the dude is a Man for putting up with her inevitable sh!t. He's got Balls for enduring/managing the relationship, no matter who rich or middle class. So I'm an observer of these social cues. They probably view me, the lone male, as beneath them in the hierarchy of the room/space, and this could very well be the case, that I am WEAK in that area of my life definitely, because I am too pvssy to commit (for life) to a female of today.
They don't know my history, they won't necessarily judge or know what I know about myself (that I've probably fvcked/experienced WAY more women than the dude, but am very picky and he just got on with it and committed to one with all her faults). Maybe one day I'll commit to one With All Her Faults. When HELL freezes over or when the divorce courts/laws change, I will. Yes, I am too pvssy to proceed through years of servitude to the female after a probable divorce. Other countries do not have...these asinine LAWS, damnit. Very FEW work out for the male's benefit long-term. I may have what it takes to be in that very few category, but much of it depends on the female you select to be with as well and that can really be a roll of the dice not matter how certain ya'll think ya'll are.
So you are looked down upon for your CHOICE, really, only 2 choices: commitment to one Female or no commitment to one Female. So socially (I know, at work, still) you are viewed better by Everyone for having committed fully to a female (and your kids if you have em). You, the lone, male, as it stands today, at your age, are viewed pretty low by those who are committed to a spouse. I know I am (in the workplace, and in just everyday life). These men MUST have a female on their arm/by their side..even if they don't like them anymore. It's PURELY status, and purely social elitism. But they feel they are being "productive" and you aren't. I've had relatives recently as August tell me, "You'd better get busy!" or "Why aren't you getting busy, boy? or son?" This is by a highly gossiping aunt and cousin. I just explain simply "it too dangerous" "the courts." All three her daughters married with children, all struggling though, and looked unhappy in their faces as I looked upon them. One of them the middle child had fake breasts, and these people are supposedly pretty religious or always grew up that way. I'm like way to be a hoe, why the fake breasts? So they all with frowns, and I'm bright-eyed, worryless, calm, relaxing, smiling, and at ease, a bachelor at 40 going on 41.
Do they have their houses paid off? NO.
But money isn't everything, family is. Being productive is. Being re-productive is. You are here to send on your genes, or you end your lineage. You end you. People say, "Don't you want kids?" It's the only reason why you're supposed to be here on Planet Earth, to make sure your genes survive. Oh, but my cousins and brothers can do that, can't they? Am I being selfish?
All I know is A WOMAN HAS GOTTA COME TO ME. She must revolve around ME. If it ain't that way, then I guess I ain't havin kids. Why be a try-hard? and if you're a try-hard, then you're gonna get stuck in the tar. But the gurus say to "Take action." "Make your dreams a reality." Sure, you can do ANYthing if you put your mind to it. But we come back to Competition, and male disregard for your marriage. You, as a male, in this US of A are not ALLOWED to acquire a DNA test to see if your child is indeed yours. It's Illegal!!! how fvcked up is that!?
A woman has gotta come to me. She has to revolve around me, and I'll treat her like she's the only person in the room, always as that's what she wants to feel special.
