Why Women Don't Respect Male Commitment

[Tenacity]

Tenacity- all these guys want to do is help you. Yet you hang on to your way of doing things that clearly aren't working for you. Now all you want to do is lay down and quit? So much for "tenacity" and the desire to "fight"!
Instead of arguing, how about taking some advice & changing your mode of operation to see how that works out?

Channel your frustration/anger into something productive. Rise Above!

What advice Howie? I've been told to try different locations....that advice?

There's been no ****in advice. The reality is I suck, my own ****in mother doesn't even call me.

I need to stop fighting the wind and just blow away. I'm tired.

Anyway.... please go back to Poon King's topix, this is his thread and I don't want to derail it.

 

[zekko]

arguing that men must commit because women are expected to to do the same betrays a real understanding of the market we operate in and the reasons women seeking to secure such relationships in the first place.

I've never said that men must commit. I've only said that IF you are married, you shouldn't cheat - regardless of gender. And I don't think that men should get married, it's a bad deal these days.

I agree with @BeTheChange on this one, though I think you're a fine poster @zekko
Now I'm not saying married men should cheat.

Then how are you disagreeing with me? That's all I'm saying: That married men and women should not cheat. It's a matter of living up to your word. Now if your wife withholds sex, she's not living up to her end of the contract either, so that's getting into a separate issue IMO. And if you are in an open marriage, or are a polygamist, that is also different.

And yes Deesade, men and women are different. I just don't believe that using that argument to excuse cheating for men holds any water.

 

[Poon King]

I've never said that men must commit. I've only said that IF you are married, you shouldn't cheat - regardless of gender. And I don't think that men should get married, it's a bad deal these days.


Then how are you disagreeing with me? That's all I'm saying: That married men and women should not cheat. It's a matter of living up to your word. Now if your wife withholds sex, she's not living up to her end of the contract either, so that's getting into a separate issue IMO. And if you are in an open marriage, or are a polygamist, that is also different.

And yes Deesade, men and women are different. I just don't believe that using that argument to excuse cheating for men holds any water.

In my opinion, men should do what benefits them and nothing else.

There are situations where being married and 100% monogamous will benefit you. For instance, you are the President of the United States OR your career is tied to the success of your marriage. Otherwise.. all is fair in love and war.

Conditions change constantly and people who thrive in life are people who adapt. Sticking to carved in stone rules even when they don't benefit you for the sake of "honor" or "keeping your word" or "following rules you didn't make" is a suckers game.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Okay you're right, I'm low quality. Fvck it. I'm at the point of giving up on this shyt anyway. At the end of the day I feel like CM Punk. I did the VERY best I could but at the end of the day....the shyt just ain't popping and it ain't gonna pop because in reality I'm low quality and (like CM Punk) don't know it.

I'm probably just gonna take a long time off from dealing with women and when I get up to it again, I'll go back out and continue spinning plates of bytches with weight issues, bad finances, kids from thugs, and gold-digger like mentalities. Because you're right BeTheChange, I'm a low quality piece of shyt so why the fvck should I ask for BASIC shyt from this market like just a bytch without kids, without bad finances, and decent looks.

Fvck it.

Why do you feel the need to counterargue every single little thing the guys tell you? I don't even do that anymore because I realized it's pointless. You are 33 and say the same type of things I said/would have said at 13/14 years old. You gotta just chill dude. And Michigan? You live in Michigan? Everything within 60 miles of Detroit is ****. Not even Dearborn or Ann Arbor is a good place to live for a 'settled down' life. And here is the thing, you said that the you people know today is completely different from the you way back when, and that people are in shock when they see you. It's because their first impression of you (fat, lazy, nothing going for you, etc.) is forever ingrained in their minds and you cannot change that. Make enough money to get the **** out of there. Do your research and find some other suburb to live in, meet people in your college/university if you can as those are most likely to fit your standards. Also, you might think that others have a splendid relationship with their women, but they would never ever tell you about the problems they have (why would they?).

 

[resilient]

Conditions change constantly and people who thrive in life are people who adapt.

Good point to bring up, PK.

I've got a cautionary tale to express here that some DJs may have already heard about over-committing as a man in a LTR.

In my failed near decade marriage, I let myself get comfortable and lazy with pursuing my success in my career and interests. I played a lot of video games to cope with her distancing instead of channeling that frustration into effective outlets like socializing, weights and cardio. I had contemplated changing careers for three years yet failed to pull the trigger or explore prerequisites at my local community college. My career flat-lined as I didn't have a ladder to climb in my small company. The writing was on the proverbial wall for my destabilizing occupational outlook.

Meanwhile my ex-wife got her masters in her field, got promoted to a better position within her company, began managing others at her company as a bonus % to her salary. Up to the last three years our marriage, her salary nearly doubled while mine stayed the same without raises. At the same time with the increased high visibility at her company, she was expected to attend more "happy hours" with her team and lunches with employees she managed. Also, expectations to travel abroad 2-3x a year for 1-3 weeks.

Long story short, I let her become the prize and reworked my life around her priorities and success. I had adoration and increased respect for her insanely focused career drive. I probably broke every rule in the DJ bible.

In the final year of the marriage, I woke up and took those prerequisite classes, graduated with an AA degree and got into an online school to pursue a bachelor's degree that will ultimately lead me to a masters and finally, a new rewarding stable career.

All of this will happened while selling the home, separation and divorce. 2015 sucked beyond doubt, yet I know now that my future looks much brighter since I started living life for myself.

 

[thatfeel]

Don't know how many times I gotta say it, time to move states. Sounds frankly like you're dating lower class african american females with baby daddy issues, like that's literally what you keep describing imo. Which isn't uncommon at all where you're from. If you're as financially well off as you say you are you could at least make a decent killing in the real estate market of Texas.

 

[Trunks]

Yes, move to a city with better women.

 

[Masculinity]

Women don't respect men who completely commit to them. Here is an in-depth explanation of the reasons why:

A lot of men are lazy and get into the habit of getting "comfortable" once they believe they have secured a woman. The attitude goes something like this:

"I have a girlfriend, so now I'm off the market. I can put my feet up, relax, and just assume this woman will stay by my side as long as I am nice to her and treat her well".

Women, on the other hand, NEVER stop looking for a better deal. They see relationships more from the perspective of:

"I have a boyfriend now.. lets see what he is made of and lets make sure there isn't something better out there for me."

Too many men view women as a "destination" rather than an experience. Men will get a girlfriend and act like its "game over" instead of keeping his eyes open for someone hotter and better. This is a critical mistake because women can always sense when their job is done. When a man is 100% satisfied with her and no longer a challenge for her to keep, she starts to lose interest. Why keep working if your job is done? In addition.. when a man gets comfortable it communicates he does not believe there is anything better out there for him. Women view men who get "comfortable" as lazy and lacking ambition. If the man does not believe he can do better.. the woman wonders if she can do better.

No satisfaction comes from catching an animal that wants to be in a cage. Satisfaction comes from catching the wild animal that can escape any minute if you don't keep your eye on it. This is what the alpha male is. He can leave or cheat any minute because he is in high demand. Therefore, she must watch him and WORK to keep his attention on her. This is what women WANT. Status comes from being able to secure a man with many other options.

One way women test men whom they suspect to be faggots is they open the cage and see if the man runs out of it. If he stays in the cage.. she knows her job is done and spends the rest of the relationship looking for someone more challenging. If he leaves the cage (ignores her to hang with his friends, flirts with other women, cheats, etc.) she knows she has more work to do. Ever wonder why women forgive cheating so often?

The harder a woman must work to "tame" a man.. the more satisfied she is when she finally succeeds. But here is the secret: She doesn't want to succeed 100%. She needs a little bit of doubt that one day her man might sneak out of the cage to have some fun. You create this doubt by spinning plates, flirting with other women, etc. If you put your feet up and "relax" you lose the game.

REMEMBER: Spin plates and never commit 100%. There is no benefit to complete commitment whatsoever.

Well-written post.

I could not agree more. What OP is describing is a fundamental principle to success with women. Funny that you mention this situation...my girl asked the other day how many women I've slept with. After having sex, she would say "where did you learn all of this?" with a huge smile on her face and having body twiches after having an 0rgasm. Long story short, I told her I've been with a significant number of women and lost count of the number of dates I've had or how many women I've kissed haha.

She responded with "you're a little playboy! I have to make sure I keep an eye on you and not get fat or you'll probably leave me." I smirked at her and said "Gosh, you are so smart." A few days later, her girlfriend was over. After seeing her, I talked to my girl about a threesum. She declined immediately and said "tell me what you want in bed and I'll do it, as long as it's you and me. I don't want you looking for secks out there; you can get it all here ; ]" Later in the night she told her girlfriend "he's a little ladies man; I am lucky that he comes home each night because he could easily be out there talking to other girls."

Moral of the story: do your DJ bible reading, read the Learn to Pimp ebook and apply, apply, apply the material you learn and hit the gym! It really pays off.