I think we agree with each other here then.Here is the central point, which gets confounded in how many here understand the word "validation."
Which goes back to what I stated:
One can have inner value without confidence or contrariwise; or have both or neither. Hence, the douchebag druggie that knows he is a piece of shvt but sleeps with tons of hot women. He knows he has no value, but has a ****load of confidence. Or the self-made entrepreneur orphan who transcended and swallowed life's attempt to shlt all over him, who has tremendous inner value having overcoming much but does not possess the confidence to attract women because he was too busy working and has no track record with women.
"Inner value" deals with the inner, and thus rests with the inner. Ergo, "inner value" does not require outside validation. Hence, a female's approval cannot affect your "inner value," though it might affect your confidence depending on how confident you truly are. Inner value has little to do with outside validation, but more to deal with internal thinking models and how true to and the amount of conviction one has toward his chosen path.
"Confidence to attain outside resources" deals with the outer, and thus rests with the outer. So, let's say in your example here:
The man's "inner value" is not validated. BUT, the man's confidence to extract $10 from strangers by asking is validated.
I am 100% confident in attaining a harem of 9s today today from my evidenced track record of 9s. But if my previous track record were 6s at best, I would not be as confident in attracting a harem of 9s. Irrespectively, though, my inner value derives not from my track record of 9s, but rather from KNOWING my ability to remain resolute to my game plan irrespective of what my track record demonstrates.
This is the "inner value" problem; that is, looking to the outside to instill value that can only be created from within.
Men don't need validation from women. However, men need success with women to have confidence with women.
The best part of this discussion is how it goes full circle. If we are back to solving the problem of having "confidence with women" the solution to that problem is everything I preach:
- Spin plates
- Don't focus all your attention on ONE woman
- Don't analyze a woman until AFTER you sleep with her
- Don't care more about the relationship than the woman does
- Don't chase, replace
- Focus on those with high interest ONLY
When you stick to your terms you are not "trying". This communicates value. Value leads to options and options lead to abundance.