Guys, Would you still ask this girl out/be exclusive with her?

[ritapita20]

If you found a girl that you're seeing had a "roster" and you asked where you were on that roster and she jokingly said 55. Had guys calling her, etc. would you still ask her to be your girlfriend or be exclusive with her despite liking her a lot/wanting to be with her? Or would you just let it go?

Also, how would you feel if you found out that the reason her last 'relationship' ended because she told the guy that she had a roster, even though it doesn't pertain to you, what would you think?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

No. Value yourself as a man.

If there was any advice I can give to anyone out there, it would be this. "Deal with cooperation not competition".

 

[Desdinova]

If you found a girl that you're seeing had a "roster"

In other words, it's you that has the roster, correct?

I don't like having a GF who retains and maintains a bunch of orbiting men. If she's going to be my GF, I want her to take the relationship status seriously. Being "serious" with each other means being exclusive with each other. In other words, no close friends of the opposite sex. It eliminates a lot of potential and future problems, and it gives the relationship a much better chance at being successful.

Also, how would you feel if you found out that the reason her last 'relationship' ended because she told the guy that she had a roster

I'd tip my hat to that man for dumping your ass. A respectable companion shouldn't behave like a wh0re.

And to all the guys on here...

you asked where you were on that roster and she jokingly said 55

It wasn't a joke. She was being honest. High Score Theory all the way.

 

[Asmodeus]

If you found a girl that you're seeing had a "roster" and you asked where you were on that roster and she jokingly said 55. Had guys calling her, etc. would you still ask her to be your girlfriend or be exclusive with her despite liking her a lot/wanting to be with her? Or would you just let it go?

Also, how would you feel if you found out that the reason her last 'relationship' ended because she told the guy that she had a roster, even though it doesn't pertain to you, what would you think?

LOL, this is a woman posting about herself in the third person... How hilarious. She is not actually admitting to it and wants to separate herself from her actual actions.

You $hit test this guy by telling him he is only 55 on your "roster". EVEN THOUGH you like him and are interested. How typical... Instead of actually telling him you like him, you instead just play these little games with him.

What if he had a roster of women around him? You would likely feel jealous and unhappy with that. Your ex dumping you was justified...

You know what, I am going to hold back here... I know this type very well, women like this are walking contradictions. But I do not feel like having the moderators crack down on me for mindfvcking the crap out of this woman and laying down all her garbage and contradictions. Don't tempt me...

 

[ritapita20]

I hope you are not indeed the female. If you are, you may want to research sociopaths. You sound like a really screwed up person.

A man certainly should break up with a woman about this. If it was not in fact a real thing

This is what happened. Years ago when I was young and dumb I was seeing this guy and I was just being a jerk after he asked where he stood with me. I said, "oh you're on my roster. At the bottom of it". With this new guy we were talking about interracial relationships and he asked if I ever had one. I said yes. He asked what happened. I told him that I was a jerk and said that the old guy was on my then roster. He looked at me and said, "you really did that?". I said yea I did and that's when HE asked me where was he on my roster. I said *insert number* which was clearly a joke. No one can possible be seeing that many people. I wasn't telling this guy that he was on my roster. I was just joking with him since he asked (I assumed as a joke).

I'm asking as the new guy, how would one feel about girl who had done that previously.

 

[Desdinova]

I said *insert number* which was clearly a joke. No one can possible be seeing that many people.

55 is too many people. 5 is too many people. He was evaluating you as a potential mate and you failed BADLY. Men who are valuable don't want to waste time with a wh0re. Your joke ended up classifying you as a typical common-day wh0re and that's a turn-off to men who have no desire to deal with that 5hit.

 

[ritapita20]

55 is too many people. 5 is too many people. He was evaluating you as a potential mate and you failed BADLY. Men who are valuable don't want to waste time with a wh0re. Your joke ended up classifying you as a typical common-day wh0re and that's a turn-off to men who have no desire to deal with that 5hit.

So a woman is a wh0re because she's dating multiple guys? Aka not putting her eggs in one basket? OK. A man does it and that's him keeping his options open, but a woman does it and she's a harlet. Well that's not chauvinistic at all...

 

[Asmodeus]

This is what happened. Years ago when I was young and dumb I was seeing this guy and I was just being a jerk after he asked where he stood with me. I said, "oh you're on my roster. At the bottom of it". With this new guy we were talking about interracial relationships and he asked if I ever had one. I said yes. He asked what happened. I told him that I was a jerk and said that the old guy was on my then roster. He looked at me and said, "you really did that?". I said yea I did and that's when HE asked me where was he on my roster. I said *insert number* which was clearly a joke. No one can possible be seeing that many people. I wasn't telling this guy that he was on my roster. I was just joking with him since he asked (I assumed as a joke).

I'm asking as the new guy, how would one feel about girl who had done that previously.

Why do you need to play games? Why not just be direct to him?
He asked you where he was on your roster because he likely cared about you. This guy was putting himself out there to actually see if you liked him... You joking back at him only made you seem careless and carefree and that you did not actually give a damn about him. I assume your little joke did not go over very well. Now you are here trying to figure out why and what you did wrong.

I will then give you advice...

If you ever want honesty and respect from men you need to give it to them. It is not complicated. Playing games, even in subtle ways, is not how you win a man's real respect and affection. Relationships should be based on trust, honesty, respect, and mutualism.

 

[Asmodeus]

So a woman is a wh0re because she's dating multiple guys? Aka not putting her eggs in one basket? OK. A man does it and that's him keeping his options open, but a woman does it and she's a harlet. Well that's not chauvinistic at all...

And I ask you this... If he was dating multiple women and had a "roster" you would have NO problem with it whatsoever?

 

[ritapita20]

Why do you need to play games? Why not just be direct to him?
He asked you where he was on your roster because he likely cared about you. This guy was putting himself out there to actually see if you liked him... You joking back at him only made you seem careless and carefree and that you did not actually give a damn about him. I assume your little joke did not go over very well. Now you are here trying to figure out why and what you did wrong.

I will then give you advice...

If you ever want honesty and respect from men you need to give it to them. It is not complicated. Playing games, even in subtle ways, is not how you win somebody's affection. Relationships should be based on trust, honesty, respect, and mutualism.

You're right it didn't. I thought he was joking so I was just going along with it. I didn't think he would project onto himself. I definitely thought it was a joke because I assumed if he wanted to know specifics he would ask, not indirectly ask masked as a joke.

 

[ritapita20]

And I ask you this... If he was dating multiple women and had a "roster" you would have NO problem with it whatsoever?

If he said that the he did that in a previous relationship? I'm not sure if I would care or not. What does that have to do with me?

 

[Asmodeus]

I didn't think he would project onto himself.

So it is his fault that you played a little game on him and it did not work out well?
After he put himself out there and you just treated it like it was some kind of joke...

Still not taking responsibility. Try to consider if it was the other way around and you tried to show you liked a guy only to have HIM brush you off and treat it as if it was some kind of joke.

I'm not sure if I would care or not.

That sounds like dishonesty. You refuse to answer the actual question by saying you are "not sure"... If he had a harem of women around him I know for a fact you would not appreciate it. No woman would appreciate this.

 

[Asmodeus]

I know how to fix this problem for you @ritapita20... It will take courage from you, more courage than I think you have.

You need to first APOLOGIZE to him about what you said... You need to put YOURSELF out there and your EGO out there for once. You need to say that you just meant it as a joke. Tell him that you actually like him but you were just afraid to admit it to him... Tell him that the roster thing is not serious, that you would rather look for an actual relationship or something real than keeping around a "roster" of men. Be honest, be clear, be direct.

If a woman shows this kind of honesty, and is willing to do this than it will impress him enough to likely look past what you said to him. If anything, the worst that will happen is you will at least know how he truly feels which would be better than coming to this site and asking a bunch of random men. The best outcome is that he likes you, and you may get that chance. The worst outcome is he does not and your question is answered... If you give him sincere honesty, he will give honesty in return.

Men have to put themselves out there every day, deal with $hit tests, deal with rejection, all of that... That man already took his risk, he already put his ego out there to try and gauge how you felt about him. The only way to know how he feels now is if you are willing to sacrifice in the same way he did. Just say this to yourself "rejection is better than regret"...

 

[Desdinova]

So a woman is a wh0re because she's dating multiple guys? Aka not putting her eggs in one basket? OK. A man does it and that's him keeping his options open, but a woman does it and she's a harlet. Well that's not chauvinistic at all...

If you want to preach equality, then you should be equally as interested in fvcking un-confident wimpy men as you are in fvcking confident jerks. But we both know you have no desire to do that, so let's dump the "equality" speech.

You cannot claim equality when we're dealing with genders who do not function equally. Women are attracted to men who have other women interested in them. Men are NOT attracted to women who have multiple men hanging around them. That's not being chauvinistic, that's how nature works. If you want to have a man as a companion, you need to work with what nature has dictated.

 

[Asmodeus]

I know why you are here @ritapita20, the real actual reason... At least I respect that...

You would search for understanding of things. You came here for that, maybe it all does not make sense to you so you try to figure it out. You are going out of your own comfort zone in order to do such, and will even expose yourself to the criticisms to see if you can even find truth in them. Often times, the truth is rarely what we desire, we humans often are stuck in our cognitive dissonance believing in our own fictions we create as if it is reality. Too often people shun what they do not understand because it does not fit in with their fiction that they created.

It is good that a woman is trying to understand the thoughts of men... Men and women are different, and we never cease to misunderstand each other, which is likely the original cause of the creation of this entire forum. People often speak of equality and that gender is a "social" construct, but I think that such a notion is irreconcilable with reality. Men and women are different in physical structure, genetics (x and y), brain development, hormone levels, emotional tempo, ect. Instead of equality, I rather say "fairness" as it does not assume that all things are equal but that instead a fair standard can be reached. Masculinity and femininity both have good attributes, we should look to foster those attributes within ourselves and become more actualized. Perhaps there is some pearls of truth here for you, and I think such knowledge will only enlighten you.

 

[Desdinova]

You would search for understanding of things. You came here for that

I was thinking that the recent influx of women was due to the high percentage of confident, real men who hang out here. The posts are just an excuse to make conversation. Face it, this place beats the hell out of anywhere in public where men with beards, man-buns, and pink shirts would hang out.

 

[Asmodeus]

I was thinking that the recent influx of women was due to the high percentage of confident, real men who hang out here. The posts are just an excuse to make conversation. Face it, this place beats the hell out of anywhere in public where men with beards, man-buns, and pink shirts would hang out.

Perhaps...

Sadly men these days are very insecure with their masculinity... Masculinity has been demonized by people who only focus on the most negative attributes of it without focusing on the positive aspects. Our own concept of self and who we are as men is becoming destroyed. Destroy that and you destroy what it means to be a man. It is not wrong to be a strong, confident, masculine man. This should be the type of person that all men seek to become. A REAL man as you call it. We should be at one with who we are and how nature designed us. The whole beard and lumberjack look is just men unconsciously trying to hold on to whatever semblance of masculinity they can in this world... It is who they truly are, but it is something they cannot fully reconcile with the world that we currently live in.

Masculinity is what women love in a man.... Just like femininity is what men love most in a women. Men love a soft, nurturing woman, and women love a man who is a strong leader. This is truth, this is reality.

 

[Desdinova]

Our own concept of self and who we are as men is becoming destroyed. Destroy that and you destroy what it means to be a man.

It also has the potential to destroy humans as species. If neither men nor women find the other attractive, procreation will cease to exist.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

If you found a girl that you're seeing had a "roster" and you asked where you were on that roster and she jokingly said 55. Had guys calling her, etc. would you still ask her to be your girlfriend or be exclusive with her despite liking her a lot/wanting to be with her? Or would you just let it go?

Also, how would you feel if you found out that the reason her last 'relationship' ended because she told the guy that she had a roster, even though it doesn't pertain to you, what would you think?

FARK NO... Just no... You dont think you are on the 'roster' because....?
What do you think she tells the other guys on the roster!

 

[ritapita20]

FARK NO... Just no... You dont think you are on the 'roster' because....?
What do you think she tells the other guys on the roster!

I'll post what I said to kingofpuss

This is what happened. Years ago when I was young and dumb I was seeing this guy and I was just being a jerk after he asked where he stood with me. I said, "oh you're on my roster. At the bottom of it". With this new guy we were talking about interracial relationships and he asked if I ever had one. I said yes. He asked what happened. I told him that I was a jerk and said that the old guy was on my then roster. He looked at me and said, "you really did that?". I said yea I did and that's when HE asked me where was he on my roster. I said *insert number* which was clearly a joke. No one can possible be seeing that many people. I wasn't telling this guy that he was on my roster. I was just joking with him since he asked (I assumed as a joke).

I'm asking as the new guy, how would one feel/think about the girl who had done that previously.