Wife has your balls, witholding sex, disrespect and doesn't spend alot of time with you

[sharkbeat]

If he doesn't want to get divorced right away, what can he do to reverse this situation. What would be the top priorities to correct this?

If you are going for the divorce route, I'd recommend he better started arming up now. This woman has probably gathered enough resources and cases to win in a divorce court. She's comfortable in disrespecting him, she has the upper hands.

So, unless there is a compelling case like caught her cheating, he might lose in the divorce court. Do what Mauser said, he should start pursuing his own life rather than her. She's secondary, or perhaps tertiary or quarternary.

 

[Fatal Jay]

Threads like this and you guys Reponses is the reason why my girlfriend can't understand why I haven't asked her to marry be since we been together for 4 years

 

[Tenacity]

I don't think marriage per say is completely doomed, you gotta look at her mother the way she was raised and her friends. There are groups of stable people who are not selfish and will treat their partners good till they die.

Hey brother, I understand. It's much better to do high level FILTERING upfront than not to do it at all.

But that still doesn't take the risk off the table of the chick completing flipping/changing on you once you are married. That's just the truth of the matter.

It's very much like going into business under a General Partnership structure. You might enter said agreement with a competent, logically thinking, partner at your side....but down the line the person could turn into a complete idiot and begin making decisions that jeopardize not just the company's assets but YOUR personal assets (due to the legal structure you choose). You would end up having to "eat the losses" by offering to buy the idiot out of their agreement so you can take over the business 100%.

And that's how marriage works. You could marry the "best person in the world" who within 10 years could turn into the wife from hell. To save the life you still have left, you could have to "eat the losses" by buying her out of the contract, which is....to go through the divorce proceeding, lose some assets upfront and then potentially over time through alimony.

I know that's negative, I know that's not uplifting, and I know that I won't be invited to speak at the next Joel Osteen Convention about how "peaches and cream" the world is.

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

He needs to go out and cheat on this c!nt ASAP!

Once she smells the whiff of new puss on him esp someone younger and prettier, she will start rethinking a few things.

 

[Asmodeus]

He needs to go out and cheat on this c!nt ASAP!

No he should not as she will just fvck him in divorce court for this. That is likely the most stupid thing he can do... At which point she can initiate a fault divorce on him for his cheating and if she can provide evidence for it then she automatically wins out and he will get fleeced even worse than if he just divorced and came up with some kind of alimony agreement. he should just cut his losses and run instead of creating more drama in this situation and complicating it all.

"No state requires the spouses seeking a fault divorce to live apart for a specific period of time, unlike a no fault divorce. Proving fault also often provides the spouse without fault with a larger portion of the marital property or support. These two characteristics make a fault divorce more attractive to some people."-(findlaw.com)

His best move would be to just divorce her then he can be free. Then he can go out with whatever woman he wants. Tenacity is right... He is going to take a loss, may lose a lot of money, may lose some of his property, but he will gain his freedom. Freedom is priceless.

 

[LiveFreeX]

He needs? He's a fvckin simp and he'll never change, don't bother with him. Seriously, these kinds of people never ever change, they might slowly turn to the red pill while you're around but as soon as you're gone, they'll slide right back into their same old sh1t.

 

[sodbuster]

going to marriage counseling doesn't work if she isn't willing to listen. The only thing it did for me was to give me a year to stash cash.... 20k in my office desk

 

[Tenacity]

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I have to ask this forum again....can somebody please tell me what does a man GAIN financially by getting married?

- I can understand if the woman is the breadwinner, you gain financially because she technically pays most of the bills and you have the "leverage" in terms of draining her in court. But this is an extreme RARITY in most marriages today.

- I can also understand if you guys make about the same level of income, split the total expenses, and are putting away a significant amount in savings/passive investments letting that shyt compound for 20 - 30 years. Plus because you both made about the same amount, nobody is really getting "raped" in court and you more than likely can settle things very smoothly. That's a financial benefit but again, MOST marriages are not structured like this.

- BUT FAR TOO MANY marriages are where the guy makes more and works more than the chick does, with the chick having a lot of "legal power" over the guy to where if she decides to flip/change on him....while it will be cheaper to keep her, you only get ONE LIFE and she will make the remaining portion of it a living hell. So you would have to eventually get the hell out to save the little amount of life you have left.

If you aren't marrying a chick that makes as much or more than you, WTF are you getting married for? What are the benefits (financial, etc.) to get married in this regard? Please don't talk about getting more tax deductions, open a damn home based small business and you can get more write-offs for goodness sakes.

Is it for religious reasons? Are your parents forcing you into it? WTF is going on out here, I know guys have common damn sense and can see this is a LEGAL contract that does NOT favor them whatsoever!

 

[Bible_Belt]

A good wife would agree with you, Tenacity, and know that the answer to your question is that she works hard to make you happy. That's what makes her a good wife, irrespective of money.

 

[Huffman]

He needs to have an out of body experience, so he can really see what he has become.

 

[Huffman]

People tend to get what they want out of life, whether they realize it or not. I'm thinking he had/has a domineering mother who destroyed his inner confidence. Just like a beaten woman, subconsciously he thinks this is the treatment he deserves. He would not have let it go this far otherwise.

That's a fatalistic way to look at life. Suppose my mom was like that, it means I'd be doomed to end up like that guy.

 

[LiveFreeX]

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I have to ask this forum again....can somebody please tell me what does a man GAIN financially by getting married?

A backup plan, if Trump doesn't win, I'm free to move to China on a family visa while North America collapses. Actually, its already happening to my country, every day there's a new and terrible law being introduced, now they've decided to bring the TPP in. So for me marriage has been a blessing and I have 0 problems to report. I have no worries about my future and my wife is a staunch anti-feminist and pro-trumper and makes sure to tell fat dyke b1tches at every opportunity. Marriage done right... now my friend married a rich one and not only does he have 3 to 5000 in passive income per month from a school she helped him build but she's also a multimillionaire. He only works to keep himself busy...well actually, he doesn't even do that anymore, he just goes to school full time. My wife on the other hand went out and bought me THE HTC VIVE ($3000) with money SHE saved and told me she wants me to pursue only what makes me happy.

You can't keep looking at bad marriages at exclaim that marriage is bad. I've always agreed with you Tenacity and the more I see my friends with their american 'wives/girlfriends', the more I am convinced that you are right, marriage is america is insanity. A friend just moved in with his 5 month gf and she told him straight up he needs to vote hillary and clean the toilets or no sex. The problem isn't marriage but the backbone of the men and the femininity of the women who enter into marriage. Most marriages are devoid of both. You know when a guy shows you a picture of his fat wife or gf, he's a jellyfish.

Foreign Marriage pluses:
----------------------
Financial benefits
Loyalty
Political gain
Citizenship
Cash and Prizes

 

[Tenacity]

Agree 100%. However, he finds himself in a bad boat. He might as well try some competition anxiety and dread game for a few months before he pulls the pin.

Getting married today is like signing a cell phone contract with a $25,000 cancellation fee.

- You "love" the new phone they are giving you

- You "love" the service, network, and platform they are giving you

- You "love" the company, the brand, and the customer service

But they want you to sign a contract with a $25,000 cancellation fee if you cancel the service within 10 years.

Would you sign up for such a plan? If your answer is NO, why? I mean come on, you love the phone, the service, the network, the platform, the company, the brand and the customer service. This is your "dream" plan. This is the "plan you've always been looking for". So what's the problem??

Well.........the problem is that you realize that "things change". You love everything about the company right now, but that doesn't mean you will in 3 or 5 years. The company's service, network, platform and customer service could all go to HELL and you might have to be STUCK in a contract with them because you can't get out without taking a financial setback.

Now.....if they could take that cancellation fee down to let's say, $100 - $300, THEN you have a deal!

And that's my stance on marriage. If they reformed the laws to where the cancellation fee to get out of it was very low and I wouldn't have a financial setback if a divorce took place...I would have NO ISSUE with marriage!

And I don't think I'm being unreasonable in this request, we are living in the day of Feminism where women have more college degrees than men and are very ingrained in the workforce. The laws are fvcking outdated and need to be UPDATED.

 

[Bible_Belt]

That's a fatalistic way to look at life. Suppose my mom was like that, it means I'd be doomed to end up like that guy.

Sure, that is until you realize what is going on. That's the point of psychoanalysis, to understand why people make the decisions they do. The brain deals with prior trauma by attempting to re-experience it over and over. That's why certain women will always seek out abusive men. Their mind is trying to keep re-living prior abuse. It's a coping mechanism. Typically, they are not aware of it, either. If the guy in the OP's post did have an abusive mother, and it led him to seek out an abusive wife, he probably doesn't even realize it. That discovery could be a "see the Matrix" moment for him, and allow him to begin to turn his life around.

 

[MatureDJ]

He needs to put in his and a fake woman's profile at OKCupid, with the user/password slip on a piece of paper that can easily be found, and have himself and his fake carry on a fake correspondence, with messages like, "I'll meet you @ ...", and he leaves for that time, etc. Then when she finds it, she can confront him, and he can tell her that he just can't go without sex, and since his wife doesn't want to provide it, he had to go elsewhere. Her little hampster will respond by f@cking his brains out.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Tenacity is correct with regard to not getting married guys.

I know from experience. Still have 2 years of alimony to pay and I won't have the divorce lawyer paid off until 2020...

Just..... Don't..... Do it.

-Augustus-

 

[kingvavy]

Having been in this guy's exact shoes, I would say that it's over. Get a lawyer, and get a separation agreement. Move out when it's legally safe to do so, and start dating other girls. After 4, or 5 months of quality dating, ignore wife (or soon to be ex) for another 6 months. Once the balance of power has shifted back in your buddies court, take it slow and use the time apart to figure out what HE did to give away so much power to the wife. Get divorced and don't make the same mistake again. It's probably over, but I guess anything is possible...don't blame the woman, blame yourself for making a woman your life. With no fault divorce only an idiot would get married in the first place.

 

[kingvavy]

In all seriousness, Go to a marriage counselor as a couple or alone and lay down an ultimatum with a deadline. "Either these things change or I leave".
Prior to that protect himself with a bank account she is not able to access, and credit accounts she cannot use.
It is going to take some backbone on his part but sometimes you just have to get to the point where the discomfort of leaving seems preferable to staying.
If she falls into line continue the counseling to maintain the communication and reinforce the message.

marriage counselling is the worst thing this guy could do....it says "I am weak, and need another person to fix my situation." The counsellor will only reinforce blue pill solutions which will just continue to perpetuate whatever issues were killing wife's attraction in the first place. The guy has two choice: 1. try to re-steer the ship which I have never seen happen, but is not impossible 2. get a divorce and avoid marriage

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Counselling is a joke. It's negotiating and placating a woman. It simply doesn't work.

My cousin tried this with his wife. She started disrespecting him openly in public, and then threw him out. He tried some councelling, and he put up with her and her family giving him sh*t.

Finally he moved on and started seeing other women (he is actually a catch. A bodybuilder, and he has a good job). That was when the game changed. She has been chasing him ever since, but he doesn't want her anymore.

Guys need game - not 'counselling'.

My counselor was relationship and sex life friendly so she told the wife she was full of sh1t and suggested at how Kay and no more mr nice guy. So if you choose a counselor pick one that thinks relationship means sex happens and they think men should have a reasonable amount of control.

 

[ereculus]

Hey guys, I'm new here - read articles but never joined the forum. Is there an update on this husbands situation?
I too went thru the same thing. My then wife witheld sex, started going out with her g/f's, disrespected me in front of
our neighbors, you name it she did it! I got her back in so many petty vengeful ways that it was all a colossal waste
of time. It taught me that I will not get married again because of the way western women are raised in our society with
'Entitlement' syndrome. It's better to keep women single and acting on their best behavior, this is why when I was in
my 20's I dated 2/3 women at the same time and kept the control where it belongs, with the man. Now if I date women
and believe me there's a lot of f'd up ones out there I just never call them back.