The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[LiveYourDream]

Its hard when she calls/texts every day to ignore, ignore, ignore.

@finality, you are playing victim to her endless calls and texts! It's a bvll**** story Finality!!! You are the one who chooses not to block her! You are the one who chooses to receive her calls/texts! You are not a victim!!!! You are the one at choice! You are the one who keeps choosing back!

I ended up sleeping with my ex last Friday.

You did not just "end up" sleeping with your ex. You chose to sleep with your ex. Your dlck didn't just "end up" in her. You put it there.

I'm back on day 3 of NC.

When an alcoholic actually finally gets sober, do they hang out in open bars? Do they walk around the liquor store where they always bought their booze before? When a drug addict actually gives up drugs for good, do they hang out with the 'friends' that they always shot up heroin with? Do they stay in contact with their drug dealer, just to 'stay friends' and be friendly?

I'm pretty much over her at this point.

To me, you are no different that a chronic alcoholic or a heavy drug addict, who relapsed once again, just three days ago, once again professing you have no problem, professing you are "pretty much over" your desire for alcohol or drugs. With all due respect finality, it's another bvll**** story, you are telling yourself. If you think anyone here is buying it you are likely mistaken. You have started 'rehab from this girl' maybe two dozen times only to just walk out and go use again. I am not saying this to judge you. I am saying it to wake you the fvck up. In my view, you are in denial.

Yes, you have been out with other women. You have fvcked other women and you even have a date coming up. You think that's proof you are moving on? An addict can spend a whole week eating healthy, working out, taking vitamins, taking care of his body, but when 'his friend,' the dealer calls and offers him some heroin, and he "finds himself' shooting up again, just one last time, I'd say he's still an addict, wouldn't you, Finality? All the healthy behaviors don't cancel that he's still using heroin.

To me, receiving text/calls from your ex, for *you*, is like like staying in contact with your drug dealer. Just like an addict who ends up shooting up heroin again, you 'end up' fvcking her again. The drive, the temptation, the desire for one more hit, the story that "you are pretty much over her at this point," all feed into your denial, in my opinion. They will keep you stuck in this cycle, as long as you allow them too.

What I have shared is harsh. I understand that. If anyone questions that, I encourage them to go read and count all finality's post about restarting no contact with this girl, again and again and again and again and again and again....

I am not trying to shame you finality (or those with addictions or alcoholism.) I have massive compassion. In my eyes, it's just feels/seems easier, to you, right now, to go back one more time, for one more hit, than truly face the loss and the pain you anticipate to be on the other side, of really letting go of her. I believe it's hard for you to conceive of not having her in your life, just as an addict or alcoholic finds it hard to conceive of not having drugs or alcohol in their life, until they do.

People create new beginnings for themselves. I believe you will too, when you finally decide that you have had enough and are ready for something better and you consistently choose accordingly.

It's ok that it will hurt. You will get through it. Just because this is a male forum, that promotes alpha behavior does not mean that it is not also not full of men who understand how letting go can be massively painful and fvcking hurt. Don't try to hide your pain here. Plenty of men here, know the pain, know the struggle, and know the immensity of it. There is a saying, you can't heal it unless you feel it. I believe there is truth in that. You serve no one, especially not yourself, if you try to maintain an image that you are all fine, and you are "pretty much over her," when you are not.

In my view, you might have dipped a toe in the pool but you haven't really gotten wet yet, with what it is to truly go NC with this girl and to and heal. I don't say that as judgement. I say that offering possibility. There is a freedom from who you have known yourself to be, with her, that you have barely yet touched. There is an untapped world in from of you.

Be kind to yourself. Be willing to be ruthlessly honest with yourself. It will set you free, if you let it.

TL;DR
An addict can spend a whole week eating healthy, working out, taking vitamins, taking care of his body, but when 'his friend,' the dealer texts/calls and offers him some heroin, and he "finds himself' shooting up again, just one more time, I'd say he's still an addict, wouldn't you, Finality? All the healthy behaviors don't cancel that he's still using heroin.

 

[curtsnokc]

I have found that an easy way to figure out who to ignore all comes down to texting.

It seems that if a woman is really interested in a man, she will CALL or Come by to SEE him. Notice I didn't say TEXT him. Texting girls forever is just silly. Just use it to break the ice and establish a connection but after that if they won't see you, tell them to give u a call someday if they like to go out. I totally remove anything to do w texting now and say it's off limits unless I'm n a relationship w you. Man has it made the chics chase me and saved me so much time living in their fake, virtual BS world!

THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - Daydream Enginner

Hey Guys and girls,


Let's start the No Contact Challenge. This has personally helped me 2 years ago, and i have seen many members asking for "how to get my ex back", and after breakup questions. The idea is a simple one, for 60 days, you will not talk or communicate with the girl that bazooka your heart. In any way, form, or communication, and every time you feel like saying something to her, you will write what you were going to tell her, AND/OR why you want to contact her, in this thread instead. This has been field tested by me, and it works from selling your soul to the she-devil.

You are going to do No Contact for yourself, you need to get away from here and move on. You will feel a transformation at the end of your challenge, and the ex that broke your heart, won't be a parasite in your mind anymore. You might even get your ex's attraction back, but you will be busy thinking about other girls to give her a second chance.

Let's begin,
Here are the rules:

1. First of all, before you do anything, read these articles:

The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

The Ultimate Break Up Guide…
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=38886

and....

No Contact - The Guide



...continued.

THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - Daydream Enginner

Hey Guys and girls,


Let's start the No Contact Challenge. This has personally helped me 2 years ago, and i have seen many members asking for "how to get my ex back", and after breakup questions. The idea is a simple one, for 60 days, you will not talk or communicate with the girl that bazooka your heart. In any way, form, or communication, and every time you feel like saying something to her, you will write what you were going to tell her, AND/OR why you want to contact her, in this thread instead. This has been field tested by me, and it works from selling your soul to the she-devil.

You are going to do No Contact for yourself, you need to get away from here and move on. You will feel a transformation at the end of your challenge, and the ex that broke your heart, won't be a parasite in your mind anymore. You might even get your ex's attraction back, but you will be busy thinking about other girls to give her a second chance.

Let's begin,
Here are the rules:

1. First of all, before you do anything, read these articles:

The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

The Ultimate Break Up Guide…
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=38886

and....

No Contact - The Guide



...continued.

 

[alex_in24]

Day 25 NC


Feeling pretty well this morning. I wouldn't have come here to post this at all but as i opened my browser, SoSuave came up so..there we are.

Last night I was out with some old friends. We had a great night, spoke to some chicks with this friend of mine, didnt actually made out with them, but it was fun experience, we laughed at least.

But the thing is, wherever I go, whomever i am with, the questions about my ex always come up. And that really bothers me. This friend yesterday, I bet he came with us just so he can speak to me and laugh at my face about my break up. I played it cool, kept frame, but it really bothered me.

Also at my gym. I've been going with my ex in this same gym i am going now so basically everyone knows that we are/were a couple. Few days ago, the owner of the gym ( which i thought i was pretty close with) just punched the question at me out of nowhere : "so whats the thing between u 2, u broke up ??" I told him like, yeah we split friendly, whats enough its enough. But the thing is, u know how he knows that ??? Yeah, that neighbor of mine who is also going in the same gym, told him that HE is now ****ing my ex, and i bet that the owner just laughed at my face when i told him that we split friendly. And right now, I look like a douchebag in their eyes, like some played beta, like a beta who was so in love with his gf, and that girl is now branch swinging all around the town in just days after breaking up.

I really don't know how to act on this one. It turns out like i am so blind and stupid, and everyone laughs at me now because of my stupidness because i couldn't see how much of a sl*t my ex was/is and that I actually believed and pedestaled her.

thats it i guess

 

[MrWood]

if working out is an important part of your life, change gyms

 

[alex_in24]

if working out is an important part of your life, change gyms

I'm definitely changing the gym. Got 5 more days till my card is valid, and im changing it after that.

 

[dustmuffin]

I'm definitely changing the gym. Got 5 more days till my card is valid, and im changing it after that.

Don't worry about what others think of you. If another asks why you broke up just say it didn't work out and leave it at that. As far as your ex f uck ing everyone in town that's on her. She is no longer your concern.

 

[S. Aureus]

I forgot the day of NC ut pretty sure its more than two months.
So I see her everyday at the uni and hospital because we're classmate. Pretty weird saying hello to her but I don't care, I only do it when she is with some of our mutual friends. A few friends told me that she asked me how was I and more and that, some of them told me if we will be at least friends again and say "no" so they were pretty shocked.
Should I approach her more or stay in the same way? Just treat her like someone I ackwnoledge but nothing more.

Also I read the Dj bible but now I barely have free time, can anyone give me a tip about how to gain a little of interest from my classmate? For me it was easy to get a girl when there is a previously interest from her ut if she doesn't have, well it's difficult

 

[LiveYourDream]

if working out is an important part of your life, change gyms

@alex_in24 I suggest you reframe your attitude and stay at your gym. Sure it's easy to go somewhere else and avoid the uncomfortable feelings. Doing so does not resolve them. You'll still end up having to face them or avoid them again someday, when you run into her somewhere else or someone else asks about you two. I say, don't turn the other way but instead walk right back in, every single day, with your head held high. You choose to exude confidence.

Right now you keep telling yourself this bvll**** story that people are laughing at you. It's your insecurity and you are just feeding it crap to torture yourself with. Stop it.

She is the one that lost out in the break-up, not you!!! You are the prize! You need to walk into your gym, proudly, smiling, radiating confidence because you know whatever woman you choose is fortunate to receive your time and attention. You are the prize and you know it and so do they.

You go to your gym, you see other guys, you even see her, it does not matter, she lost out and will have the rest of her life to think of how she messed up when she had such an awesome opportunity with you.

They say the best revenge is a life well lived. Hold your head high. Be proud of yourself. Be excited for your goals and your life. Life just moved her out of your path for something even better. Her loss, not yours. If you see her at the gym, smile or wink or nod and know for the rest of her life she'll wonder about you and what could have been. That's ok, because you are moving on to the next chapter of your life. The next chapter is even better.

Learn to look at everyone in that gym and feel confident about who you are and what you bring to this world. You are an extraordinary Man. You look at them, knowing she lost out on the best opportunity with a Man she'll likely ever get. You wish her the best inside yourself and continually know, you are moving onto something even better. It's ready for you.

You don't look away. You don't look down. You don't avoid people. You own who you are and all that you offer. You exude certainty. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Her actions are hers, not yours. Her loss is hers. You are the prize. Your life moves on. You are proud. You are confident. You are right there at the gym working on your goals. You face people head on, day after day, and you'll increase your self respect, and that of everyone there. You stand tall and you own your place in the world. You are not seeking acceptance and respect from others, your presence commands it. Men will respect you for it and women will be massively attracted by it. Be you. No playing small. Own your place in the world and make it yours.

 

[finality]

Dude if u are still fvcking ur ex, believe me, ur not over her no matter what u say to yourself. U mentioned u got some new girl going on. You want to mess that up because of ur ex ?? Think about it for a second. Or just make a decicison what u really want. This hot and cold game u are playing isnt bringing benefits to neither party. Either go full NC and try to work it out with the new girl, or get stuck in the past.

See how much benefits u have from breaking up with her. U are finishing college, and u are almost hired in a better and wealthier company. Like u said, u've never looked better EVER and u've had some adventures with more than 5 women EASILY!!!

I also noticed the word "NEEDED" in ur sentence..and i completely understand you what u meant by that because i've felt the same way. Believe me, u didnt mean that u NEEDED to get close to..u are just addicted to the closeness and the love that ur ex gave to u. And u are trying to find that feeling into this new girl. Dont rush things with her. I believe u are still not that sober so u can attempt to love some1 else. Just go with the flow, and be open for a relationship, dont be needy.

Before u go out with some girl next time, dress yourself, get a good haircut, get that pump from the gym, feel positive and TAKE A LOOK AT THE MIRROR! What do you see ? I'll tell what you will see. You will see a MAN that is desperately wanted by that chick waiting for u at the bar. That is desperately wanted by that company that u gave extraordinary impression. That is MAN enough to control his emotions, maintain frame at the worst possible moments and to never look back because thats a rude manner. That lives for today and plans and works for the better future.

Still want to sleep with ur ex ?? Yeah, I thought so

Well when I say I needed to get close I'm talking from a chemistry/magnetic attraction point of view. As for my ex, you are right.. not over her.

 

[finality]

@finality, you are playing victim to her endless calls and texts! It's a bvll**** story Finality!!! You are the one who chooses not to block her! You are the one who chooses to receive her calls/texts! You are not a victim!!!! You are the one at choice! You are the one who keeps choosing back!
You did not just "end up" sleeping with your ex. You chose to sleep with your ex. Your dlck didn't just "end up" in her. You put it there.
When an alcoholic actually finally gets sober, do they hang out in open bars? Do they walk around the liquor store where they always bought their booze before? When a drug addict actually gives up drugs for good, do they hang out with the 'friends' that they always shot up heroin with? Do they stay in contact with their drug dealer, just to 'stay friends' and be friendly?
To me, you are no different that a chronic alcoholic or a heavy drug addict, who relapsed once again, just three days ago, once again professing you have no problem, professing you are "pretty much over" your desire for alcohol or drugs. With all due respect finality, it's another bvll**** story, you are telling yourself. If you think anyone here is buying it you are likely mistaken. You have started 'rehab from this girl' maybe two dozen times only to just walk out and go use again. I am not saying this to judge you. I am saying it to wake you the fvck up. In my view, you are in denial.

Yes, you have been out with other women. You have fvcked other women and you even have a date coming up. You think that's proof you are moving on? An addict can spend a whole week eating healthy, working out, taking vitamins, taking care of his body, but when 'his friend,' the dealer calls and offers him some heroin, and he "finds himself' shooting up again, just one last time, I'd say he's still an addict, wouldn't you, Finality? All the healthy behaviors don't cancel that he's still using heroin.

To me, receiving text/calls from your ex, for *you*, is like like staying in contact with your drug dealer. Just like an addict who ends up shooting up heroin again, you 'end up' fvcking her again. The drive, the temptation, the desire for one more hit, the story that "you are pretty much over her at this point," all feed into your denial, in my opinion. They will keep you stuck in this cycle, as long as you allow them too.

What I have shared is harsh. I understand that. If anyone questions that, I encourage them to go read and count all finality's post about restarting no contact with this girl, again and again and again and again and again and again....

I am not trying to shame you finality (or those with addictions or alcoholism.) I have massive compassion. In my eyes, it's just feels/seems easier, to you, right now, to go back one more time, for one more hit, than truly face the loss and the pain you anticipate to be on the other side, of really letting go of her. I believe it's hard for you to conceive of not having her in your life, just as an addict or alcoholic finds it hard to conceive of not having drugs or alcohol in their life, until they do.

People create new beginnings for themselves. I believe you will too, when you finally decide that you have had enough and are ready for something better and you consistently choose accordingly.

It's ok that it will hurt. You will get through it. Just because this is a male forum, that promotes alpha behavior does not mean that it is not also not full of men who understand how letting go can be massively painful and fvcking hurt. Don't try to hide your pain here. Plenty of men here, know the pain, know the struggle, and know the immensity of it. There is a saying, you can't heal it unless you feel it. I believe there is truth in that. You serve no one, especially not yourself, if you try to maintain an image that you are all fine, and you are "pretty much over her," when you are not.

In my view, you might have dipped a toe in the pool but you haven't really gotten wet yet, with what it is to truly go NC with this girl and to and heal. I don't say that as judgement. I say that offering possibility. There is a freedom from who you have known yourself to be, with her, that you have barely yet touched. There is an untapped world in from of you.

Be kind to yourself. Be willing to be ruthlessly honest with yourself. It will set you free, if you let it.

TL;DR
An addict can spend a whole week eating healthy, working out, taking vitamins, taking care of his body, but when 'his friend,' the dealer texts/calls and offers him some heroin, and he "finds himself' shooting up again, just one more time, I'd say he's still an addict, wouldn't you, Finality? All the healthy behaviors don't cancel that he's still using heroin.

This is a great post and you aren't being harsh at all. I deserve a lot of criticism and at this point all I can be useful for is as an example of what not to do. I'm an addict.. it is what it is.

I slept with a new chick tonight and have another new girl coming over tomorrow and I will most likely bang.
I've seen close to 10 different women since my ex broke up with me and slept with 6 of them. None of it helps. I was in love and got played... I don't know if I will ever fully recover.

 

[LiveYourDream]

This is a great post and you aren't being harsh at all. I deserve a lot of criticism and at this point all I can be useful for is as an example of what not to do. I'm an addict.. it is what it is.

I slept with a new chick tonight and have another new girl coming over tomorrow and I will most likely bang.
I've seen close to 10 different women since my ex broke up with me and slept with 6 of them. None of it helps. I was in love and got played... I don't know if I will ever fully recover.

@finality I was in love and I got played too. I found SS from a 'no contact' google search. I was trying to figure out what I was experiencing with a man and how to best respond. It took a long time, even after I came here, before I even began see and unravel all the lies I'd been told. I got played horrifically. Yes, horrifically. I relate when you feel unsure, if you will ever fully recover. I get that. It's hard to reconcile how I will trust again, the way I did before. How will I open my heart and offer all that I am and all my loving to a man, again?

What I know as I write that, is that I will. It's my nature. It may scare the fvck out of me and make me cry right now typing this, but I don't care enough to let that stop me. I am taking time to regroup and recalibrate my compass so to speak. What I do know is I played a part in all of it too. Self responsibility is the way out of victimhood, and victim consciousness, in my opinion. What do we choose and participate in moving forward is the question to ask ourselves.

I was thinking before I logged on and saw your latest post, that it was important for me to acknowledge that the post I wrote to you before this one, applies to myself too. I didn't see that when I wrote it, as clearly as I do now. Now I see that it was a post to myself, as much as it was to you. I am sorry if you felt singled out or shamed and like everyone else is right on target in their NC, but you. That was not my intent but I could see how that could be your experience. I am sorry if in anyway it was.

I am here to heal and move forward as well. The truth is I need to take even greater responsibility and up level what that actually involves for me, these days. I also need to up level what constitutes NC for me as well. I believe there is a way through this that we can each come out better on the other side, if we choose. That's my focus. Self-responsibilty and always making the highest choice available, is the path. Let's do it.

 

[Fireballs]

@finality What I do know is I played a part in all of it too. Self responsibility is the way out of victimhood, and victim consciousness, in my opinion. What do we choose and participate in moving forward is the question to ask ourselves.

I think accepting this is really important in moving on. I wrote out a note on my phone titled 'My contribution to the demise of the relationship' and had a real honest reflection of everything then proceeded to type out around 10 things that I did or failed to do to that contributed to the end. It's really helped..

 

[LiveYourDream]

I think accepting this is really important in moving on. I wrote out a note on my phone titled 'My contribution to the demise of the relationship' and had a real honest reflection of everything then proceeded to type out around 10 things that I did or failed to do to that contributed to the end. It's really helped.

Self responsibility is indeed key. Your list idea inspired me Fireballs. I want to make a list that I can check in with, so while I am loving and engaging my next partner, with all that I am and my whole heart, I can easily check in and make sure that I am also truly making choices that reflect loving and caring for my-Self, my happiness, my health, and my well-being, as well, and all along my journey with him, so he and I thrive together.

 

[alex_in24]

@LiveYourDream You are totally right. Being stoic, keeping frame, and moving happily on makes me a MAN. She is the one that should be ashamed of herself.

As for today...i think it is day 26 or 27 or maybe 28 of NC..but that is not what i am going to talk about.

Today i think that I lived for myself. From the moment i woke up, i was forced into making everyday decisions as everyone else like (what to eat, what to wear,what music to listen,should i go to the bathroom now or 5 mins later etc etc.) Dont know why, but todays decisions were based only on my state of happiness. And I chose them unconsciously. As if i knew, that they were the right choice.

As I live in Europe, in the balkans specifically, now its 2 AM. So before going to bed, i wanted to do a recap from the previous day. And yes, maybe this thread isnt about this, but it makes me HAPPY doing it so..there i go.

The previous 24 hours, i found out some very important and essential thing. That I and only I can make myself happy. How did i find that out ? Here is how...I loved myself. I loved everything about me. Is my instinct telling me that i should go out tonight only for a drink and a chat with a friend ?? Yes, and i did that. Did i feel like i should have continiued in the disco later this night ? No, wanted to go home, put on my argan oil on my face, get on this forum, maybe download some movie, drink my coca cola and relax. And that is exactly what I did. And yes, i could have been now with 10 girls, for sure i could have ****ed or at least fingered 2 of them in the club by now, but is that what i really wanted ?? Was that going to make me happier ?? At this moment no,maybe the next weekend i will feel like doing that. Before i got out, my mother gave me advice on what to wear, and she made a very good dress up combination. But did i feel like wearing that ?? Fvck no, i chose something that I have visioned to wear tonight, maybe it wasnt that great as my mothers choice but, who cares, it made ME happy. As i said, i was out with this friend of mine at the bar for only a drink or two. There were two ladies sitting like one table away from us. The both of them were HB7s. I approached them, in the most nonchalant way that could be imagined. We met eachother, introduced my friend to them, we talked for an hour maybe with lots of laughing and talking. But did I feel like I should have made out with this girl that was 1000000% into me ?? Honestly, no. Why not ? Because that wasnt the thing that I wanted in the moment. And yes, i am happier by not doing that. Just wanted to chat, laugh a lil bit, introduce my friend to them so he can have a shot, and at the end of the night, go home and tell u this

To be honest, i feel freedom. Freedom to the choices i make, to the life i live. I feel freedom in my mind. I feel that i am only obligated to myself and no one else on the choices i make. I feel a desire that i need to make myself happy FIRST before I try to make some1 else happy. I feel something that i cant explain. I feel that I should LOVE myself more as i deserve that..as EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS FORUM DESERVES THAT. The real deal is, learn to LOVE YOURSELF so bad, that u can put aside ANY EMOTION such as love,hate etc etc in order to make the best decision for youself.

I honestly dont know if u will undertand this post. You are probably going to ask yourself if im on some kind of drug or somerthing..and no, i am not. I am just being open and honest.

tl:dr: I learned to say NO to things i didnt want to do. Learned to love myself first, then everyone else comes second.

 

[Fireballs]

Just saw my ex for the first time.. That was tough.. It was bound to happen sooner or later though as I live in a smallish town.

Was at the gym and saw her walk in..she didn't see me.. Finished my workout about 5 mins later and was on my way out and she was on the treadmill..I was walking past behind her so on the way past I gave her a flick of my towel and as she turned around I gave her a quick smile and then kept walking out and she gave a big smile (both had headphones in). Didn't want to stop to talk but also didn't want to appear butthurt/angry as she would've seen me walk out. The breakup wasn't a bad one and she is a genuinely nice person so I thought giving a quick hi smile on the way out was the mature thing to do. Especially since I've ignored her last text which maybe I should have replied to.

When I got home she called me but I ignored it.. Voicemail said ''Hey hope you're doing well, I was in my own little bubble at the gym otherwise I would have come and said hi..I still have some of your stuff so if I can get it to you or if you can let me know what to do with it? Anyway hope you're doing well''

The last text I ignored was her asking if I could come and get my stuff (which is basically some car wash stuff which I don't want) I thought she would have gotten the picture when I didn't reply? Was almost 2 weeks ago.... Anyway not sure whether to respond as I just want to move on.....but I don’t want to appear butthurt…..but I also DON’T want to text her to tell her to just throw it out..I just really don’t want to contact her…at all…

 

[LiveYourDream]

[*]Today i think that I lived for myself.
[*]todays decisions were based only on my state of happiness.
[*]...i knew, that they were the right choice.
[*]The previous 24 hours, i found out some very important and essential thing. That I and only I can make myself happy.
[*]How did i find that out ? Here is how...I loved myself. I loved everything about me.
[*]But did I feel like I should have made out with this girl that was 1000000% into me ?? Honestly, no. Why not ? Because that wasnt the thing that I wanted in the moment. And yes, i am happier by not doing that.
[*]To be honest, i feel freedom. Freedom to the choices i make, to the life i live. I feel freedom in my mind. I feel that i am only obligated to myself and no one else on the choices i make.
[*]I feel a desire that i need to make myself happy FIRST before I try to make some1 else happy.
[*]I feel that I should LOVE myself more as i deserve that
[*]..as EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS FORUM DESERVES THAT.
[*]The real deal is, learn to LOVE YOURSELF so bad, that u can put aside ANY EMOTION such as love,hate etc etc in order to make the best decision for youself.
[*]I honestly dont know if u will undertand this post. You are probably going to ask yourself if im on some kind of drug or somerthing..and no, i am not. I am just being open and honest.
[*]I learned to say NO to things i didnt want to do. Learned to love myself first, then everyone else comes second.

@alex_in24, Remember these ^^^^words of yours--always.

If your breakup was what prepared the way, for you to experience and learn, what you did today, to me, it was worth it a million times over!

What you felt, experienced, and truly learned, is priceless. It has the potential to lead you to a happier and more fulfilling life than you ever imagined!

I am truly thrilled for you!

 

[Fireballs]

Can't edit my post but I had been thinking about it and it seems silly to ignore her text then ignore her call today about what to do with my things so I just texted her to throw them out or do what she wanted with them. At least now there is NOTHING for her to contact me about.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Just saw my ex for the first time.. That was tough.. It was bound to happen sooner or later though as I live in a smallish town.

Was at the gym and saw her walk in..she didn't see me.. Finished my workout about 5 mins later and was on my way out and she was on the treadmill..I was walking past behind her so on the way past I gave her a flick of my towel and as she turned around I gave her a quick smile and then kept walking out and she gave a big smile (both had headphones in). Didn't want to stop to talk but also didn't want to appear butthurt/angry as she would've seen me walk out.

I think you played this perfectly!

I just texted her to throw them out or do what she wanted with them. At least now there is NOTHING for her to contact me about.

Now there is completion. True completion is priceless. Worthwhile and good choice, in my opinion.

 

[alex_in24]

Alright long story short, yesterday I made eye contact with a beautiful blonde HB9 and it was during daytime coffee. I gave her that sexy look and a very flirting smile and she smiled back. 3 mins later she went to the bathroom as we were sitting in a coffee bar. I immediately stood up and went after her. We met in the bathroom and i said to her:

Me: Nice plan
Her : "smiles" what plan ?
Me: i know these games, hell yeah, i invented them
Her : "smiles again and looks for a paper to brush off her hands"
Me : "as i rip the paper of that paper machine and give it to her I say" I've got an offer for u, u saw that friend of mine that i was sitting with ?
Her : yeah, what about him
Me : Well it is very rude and not politely to leave him alone for a long time, so i am going to be direct, why dont u give me ur number, so we can go for a drink these days?
her : "smiles" sure write it down.


i think I played this perfectly, but my question is...what kind of opener should I use via SMS and when should i contact her ?

Again, this is not in connection with this threads topic and i am sorry.

 

[finality]

Alright long story short, yesterday I made eye contact with a beautiful blonde HB9 and it was during daytime coffee. I gave her that sexy look and a very flirting smile and she smiled back. 3 mins later she went to the bathroom as we were sitting in a coffee bar. I immediately stood up and went after her. We met in the bathroom and i said to her:

Me: Nice plan
Her : "smiles" what plan ?
Me: i know these games, hell yeah, i invented them
Her : "smiles again and looks for a paper to brush off her hands"
Me : "as i rip the paper of that paper machine and give it to her I say" I've got an offer for u, u saw that friend of mine that i was sitting with ?
Her : yeah, what about him
Me : Well it is very rude and not politely to leave him alone for a long time, so i am going to be direct, why dont u give me ur number, so we can go for a drink these days?
her : "smiles" sure write it down.


i think I played this perfectly, but my question is...what kind of opener should I use via SMS and when should i contact her ?

Again, this is not in connection with this threads topic and i am sorry.

Well done man. I would contact her right away.. you only chatted for a few minutes so whatever she felt in that initial convo is going to quickly fade. I would open with something like hey its Alex, did anything else exciting happen yesterday besides getting courted in a bathroom?

This gives her a few options to flirt back.