Need opinions on this girl - strange situation.

mac j

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This girl walked into the small company I work for a coupe of week ago, looking for a position. She got an admin job, but then quit four days later.

She's incredibly attractive, seems rebellious, young (around 18) and she is displaying a LOT of interest in me (I'm 23). We have been talking quite a lot and she is obviously very intelligent but seems a little troubled.

She says she has run away from home, and that her parents are awful people. She told me almost straight away that her mother was dead. Later, I found out that this was not true and that her mother is just very controlling and often manic, controlling every aspect of her life still, was abusive growing up, and that she hates her. Her parents obviously play a big part in her life. She said her Dad's an older, rich business man who is more distant. She's now trying to find acting/modelling jobs in the city.

She will call me and make me feel sympathy for her; eg. she's doing a degrading job to pay the bills, she's lost her keys and is locked out and needs help, she's very upset and needs to talk, she's lonely living on her own at night and needs me to come round. Very very seductive.

She often blocks me on whatever form of communication we are using, then unblocks me later. Conversations are usually quite intense and she gets angry quite easily - bear in mind I barely know her. She often makes me feel cowardly for not doing it sooner, bringing up other guys too.

Sometimes I feel I'm being slightly manipulated by this.

She told me she had tried to commit suicide at 16/17.

I heard her on the phone to her ex the other day and she told him to go die and then blocked him. Said he was an *******.

After she quit the job, she would still turn up to the office after work, unannounced, to catch me coming out. It's almost a bit stalky and she admits this, laughing. It also turns out that the name she is using is not her real name.

I feel guilty as I currently have a girlfriend of a couple of months but I am considering splitting up with her to pursue things with this new girl. She's proposing a friends with benefits situation with me. She seems really exciting and intoxicating but I'm not sure about her. Also living in poor conditions and I want to help her out by letting her stay at mine until she sorts her life out. I feel like she's just going through a rough patch at the moment.

Your thoughts please?

TLDR - Really hot, interesting, young yet troubled girl came into my company looking for job, quit 4 days later, has pursued me aggressively despite me having a girlfriend, blocks me to get an emotional reaction, has already told little lies and I am wondering whether to split up with my girlfriend to pursue things with her.

Thoughts?
 

Billtx49

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And you want her to stay at your place until she sorts things out? It's bad enough dating crazy, let alone living with it.
 

Peace and Quiet

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And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

fastlife

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Google BPD. Delete her number. Listen to your gut and ignore you white knight instincts.

100% serious, you're about to ruin your life.
 

CMNILS87

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You feel a little bit manipulated???? She's 100% manipulating. Don't believe a word coming out of her mouth. Treat everything she says as a lie
 

Billtx49

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Google BPD. Delete her number. Listen to your gut and ignore you white knight instincts.

100% serious, you're about to ruin your life.
Yes, quite possibly a mid to low functioning Borderline…
 

mac j

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Thanks for your thoughts.

Guys, she is 18 years old. I'm of the opinion that she is just a little immature and is currently in a tough situation.

Her parents moved her around a lot and were too controlling. We are both in a foreign country. Maybe once she gets some stability and order in her life, things would improve.

I went round to hers last night and she told me that she had been sexually abused when she was young but I think that's bvll****. Why do girls say this stuff? I've heard it before.
 

Yewki

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You sound like a pathetic orbiter with no other options

She's not putting out, she's crazy/unstable, she's talking to her ex, and yet you're still going over to her place... for what reason exactly? Just to hang out?

You're thirsty as f*ck. Get better options
 

Asmodeus

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This girl walked into the small company I work for a coupe of week ago, looking for a position. She got an admin job, but then quit four days later.

She's incredibly attractive, seems rebellious, young (around 18) and she is displaying a LOT of interest in me (I'm 23). We have been talking quite a lot and she is obviously very intelligent but seems a little troubled.

She says she has run away from home, and that her parents are awful people. She told me almost straight away that her mother was dead. Later, I found out that this was not true and that her mother is just very controlling and often manic, controlling every aspect of her life still, was abusive growing up, and that she hates her. Her parents obviously play a big part in her life. She said her Dad's an older, rich business man who is more distant. She's now trying to find acting/modelling jobs in the city.

She will call me and make me feel sympathy for her; eg. she's doing a degrading job to pay the bills, she's lost her keys and is locked out and needs help, she's very upset and needs to talk, she's lonely living on her own at night and needs me to come round. Very very seductive.

She often blocks me on whatever form of communication we are using, then unblocks me later. Conversations are usually quite intense and she gets angry quite easily - bear in mind I barely know her. She often makes me feel cowardly for not doing it sooner, bringing up other guys too.

Sometimes I feel I'm being slightly manipulated by this.

She told me she had tried to commit suicide at 16/17.

I heard her on the phone to her ex the other day and she told him to go die and then blocked him. Said he was an *******.

After she quit the job, she would still turn up to the office after work, unannounced, to catch me coming out. It's almost a bit stalky and she admits this, laughing. It also turns out that the name she is using is not her real name.

I feel guilty as I currently have a girlfriend of a couple of months but I am considering splitting up with her to pursue things with this new girl. She's proposing a friends with benefits situation with me. She seems really exciting and intoxicating but I'm not sure about her. Also living in poor conditions and I want to help her out by letting her stay at mine until she sorts her life out. I feel like she's just going through a rough patch at the moment.

Your thoughts please?

TLDR - Really hot, interesting, young yet troubled girl came into my company looking for job, quit 4 days later, has pursued me aggressively despite me having a girlfriend, blocks me to get an emotional reaction, has already told little lies and I am wondering whether to split up with my girlfriend to pursue things with her.

Thoughts?
She is a cluster B personality. Borderline personality disorder for damn sure.
I even see just a touch of psychopathy in her. She lies and manipulates to have her way... She gives you a fake name and wears the psychopath "mask"... She controls people with fake emotional outbursts... She is highly narcissistic being that she wants to model ect. And she is using and abusing your sympathy to get what she wants from you. She makes you feel "cowardly" and "guilty"... This goes beyond just borderline personality, definite psychopathic tendencies. Trust me.
If she is what I think she is... Then you are best to leave her alone. People like this can do lots of damage, and carve a swath of destruction in the lives of those who try and care for them. I can tell you... But you would not believe me if I did...
 

mac j

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You sound like a pathetic orbiter with no other options

She's not putting out, she's crazy/unstable, she's talking to her ex, and yet you're still going over to her place... for what reason exactly? Just to hang out?

You're thirsty as f*ck. Get better options
I've slept with her. I don't beleive her ex is an issue.
 

mac j

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She is a cluster B personality. Borderline personality disorder for damn sure.
I even see just a touch of psychopathy in her. She lies and manipulates to have her way... She gives you a fake name and wears the psychopath "mask"... She controls people with fake emotional outbursts... She is highly narcissistic being that she wants to model ect. And she is using and abusing your sympathy to get what she wants from you. She makes you feel "cowardly" and "guilty"... This goes beyond just borderline personality, definite psychopathic tendencies. Trust me.
If she is what I think she is... Then you are best to leave her alone. People like this can do lots of damage, and carve a swath of destruction in the lives of those who try and care for them. I can tell you... But you would not believe me if I did...
I did a bit of research and I can understand why you might say that but remember this girl is young and out here on her own. I can see why she might be doing this stuff out of loneliness etc. The reason for the name change is that she didn't want to be associated with her parents and wanted a fresh start.

But humour me, what kind of things should I expect if I were to get involved with her? I can feel myself caring for her already.
 

LiveYourDream

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But humour me, what kind of things should I expect if I were to get involved with her? I can feel myself caring for her already.
You can expect to look back wishing you would have just listened, to all those that tried to warn you, rather than going down the rabbit hole anyway, thinking it would somehow be different for you.

You will have traded a chunk of your life away, and resources too, chasing an illusion.

Drop your fantasy and consider her actions in reality. What, in reality right now, makes her a worthy investment of your time, energy and resources?
 
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JohnChops

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You can expect to look back wishing you would have just listened, to all those that tried to warn you, rather than going down the rabbit hole anyway, thinking it would somehow be different for you.
This. She sounds like BPD, you don't want to mess with a BPD. But by all means go ahead and pursue her and you'll see.
 

fastlife

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But humour me, what kind of things should I expect if I were to get involved with her? I can feel myself caring for her already.
Humor me and bookmark this thread and promise to update ;) You might help someone in the future.

Bold is why you're gonna get wrecked. Play Capt'n-Save-a-Hoe. You're already making excuses for her behavior. You don't have any frame. Go ahead. But update this thread.
 

MrWood

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no red flags here that I see... you're good to go!
 

Alvafe

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I did a bit of research and I can understand why you might say that but remember this girl is young and out here on her own. I can see why she might be doing this stuff out of loneliness etc. The reason for the name change is that she didn't want to be associated with her parents and wanted a fresh start.

But humour me, what kind of things should I expect if I were to get involved with her? I can feel myself caring for her already.

pray, why come here asking for help then ignore what we just said? I said run for the hills, not run with her in your arms.

serious its like everyone forgot what they was when they had 18, with 18 did you lied to make people feel sorry for you? did you manipulated people so they will orbiter you? then you defend her saying her parents did that or this to her, did it cross your ****ing damn mind she is lying about it too?

but since you want to know what to expect, don't see why asking if you will ignore, but you will feel manipulated, she will be really sweat something and a damn annoyance most of time, she will lie, anything you do then she thing is not enough will try to or guilty trip you or toss a tantrum, or use that as a excuse to stay in a "Friend" home because she is mad at you, anything you say you look up for BPD personality disorder. the only 4 days in a work is enough to you question her good will, or character, but even that make you ignore it.....

do like fastlife said, book mark this post, and update it frequently, please show us how miserable you will become, so at least some people in the future can read what did happen, pretty sure we do have posts like this, but more the happier, heh?
 

Yewki

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I've slept with her. I don't beleive her ex is an issue.
Ok, at least there's that, but why are you even considering splitting up with your GF to pursue this mess? This girl is pump, dump and run material. You've already banged her, and now you're developing feelings. It's time to dump and run.
 
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