stay strong bro!
you said it yourself ::She doesn't deserve a call from me::
i want mine back, badly, but I realize she is only a shell
a ****ing paper doll with a pretty smile and bright eyes
a shell, empty of Loyalty, Integrity, Respect, empathy... life
I am in NC, told her to call me if she wants to talk. *crickets*
stopped counting, I guess its 2.5mo from break up, 30 days from last Skype and 20 days since she called to wish Happy Birthday.
every day I repeat to myself:
SHE DOES NOT DESERVE ME
I WAS IN LOVE WITH A PAPERDOLL WITH BRIGHT EYES AND NICE TITS
I AM A MAN OF VALUE AND IDEALS
SHE DOES NOT HAVE ANY VALUES OR IDEALS
I WANT HER BACK
I REFUSE TO ALLOW ANYONE TO TREAT ME WORSE THAN A CASUAL FRIEND
I WILL NOT INITIATE CONTACT EVER
AS MUCH AS I TRY TO RECONCILE WITH MYSELF, SHE WILL NOT RESPECT, BE LOYAL OR VALUE ME IF I ALLOW HER BACK IN MY LIFE
I HAVE LEARNED, I HAVE STRENGTH
I AM HURT
SHE IS NOT MY FRIEND
SHE IS NOT MY LOVER
SHE IS A PAPERDOLL, AN EMPTY SHELL FOREVER EMPTY, BROKEN
MY GLUE IS TOO VALUABLE TO REPAIR A SHELL WITH IT
I COULD NEVER TRUST HER TO HAVE LOYALTY, RESPECT OR INTEGRITY
i tell myself everyday that I hope to not allow this to kill my passion, dedication, ability to give fully to another... hope is better than dispair.