Help - Wish my gf had a hotter face

[Oneday_]

Dump you current girl, please before making any move.

You will never get rid of your doubts, so its time to move on. Time will show if you were right.

But what if I just keep getting the same doubts with future partners?

 

[LiveYourDream]

But what if I just keep getting the same doubts with future partners?

No matter what woman you choose to partner with, there will always be more attractive women or simply other women that you will wonder about.

 

[Tamura]

But what if I just keep getting the same doubts with future partners?

You probably will. Ever heard of gras is greener...? In my experience this can only be cured by experience. Go explore the other greens.

 

[LiveYourDream]

If you continue to think of 'your GF's looks' as the issue, you will never truly be satisfied with her. But if you consider 'your thoughts, about your GF's looks' to be the issue (source of your dissatisfaction), then there is the possibility to reconcile those thoughts, and the potential to come to appreciate and find satisfaction, in the whole of her and what she offers. But as long as you see (just) her looks as the issue, understand you will never truly be satisfied with her. That is good to know. Also, be aware, depending on your viewpoint, of the issue at hand, the potential resolution will either specifically be found externally (a new woman) or internally (change of thinking).

 

[Colossus]

No matter what woman you choose to partner with, there will always be more attractive women or simply other women that you will wonder about.

^True story. Periodically the grass always looks greener. Doesn't matter how hot she is. If you're a man, you get curious and bored and want to sample other flavors. You stay with somebody because you actually LIKE them and value all the other attributes they bring to the table. Stop obsessing over looks, OP.

If you are really unsatisfied with her looks, not just nitpicking (if you two lived on a desert island alone would you still be not turned on by her??), then move on.

 

[Glumix]

At some point in history, men were "allowed" to settle down with a woman, marry her and have affairs with younger, hotter women. And women could have their affairs too. And it was well known even though unofficial and nobody really complained about it. And the family was preserved. And there were nobody asking question like "should I chose her for her look or that other for her personality" and be chained to that decision during my whole life?

Women had their provider. They had their babies and marriage and romance. And men had their pretty women and good sex and everything was cool. Nobody divorced except in extreme situations. Win-Win.

And then came the feminists...

Perhaps, sometimes, we should really reconsider faithfulness. It is badly perceived in our society, but objectively, is it that bad? Can't we love our wife, kids and family and take great care of them and feel the urge to fvck another woman because she is smoking hot? Or are we going to restrain ourselves and become sick and fvck up the family because of that urge?

It's funny how faithfulness today is the ONLY way of thinking for 99.9% of the people. Why's that?

What's better? Serial monogamy or "polygamy"? I wonder...

But in today's world you MUST fvck up your family if you have desire for another man or woman. Because if you "cheat" you are publicly shamed. So you better throw your marriage to the bin and kill your kids education but stay faithful at ALL cost.

We are chained to faithfulness. We have to chose between hell and evil. Men prefer to go their own way instead of being unfaithful and fully live all their pleasures and desires.

Women created that and we just eat it like it's the best thing since sliced bread. Really?

 

[Tamura]

Glumix, I like a lot of your posts. But this one... would be worth a discussion in another thread.

 

[LiveYourDream]

At some point in history, men were "allowed" to settle down with a woman, marry her and have affairs with younger, hotter women. And women could have their affairs too. And it was well known even though unofficial and nobody really complained about it. And the family was preserved. And there were nobody asking question like "should I chose her for her look or that other for her personality" and be chained to that decision during my whole life?

Women had their provider. They had their babies and marriage and romance. And men had their pretty women and good sex and everything was cool. Nobody divorced except in extreme situations. Win-Win.

And then came the feminists...

Perhaps, sometimes, we should really reconsider faithfulness. It is badly perceived in our society, but objectively, is it that bad? Can't we love our wife, kids and family and take great care of them and feel the urge to fvck another woman because she is smoking hot? Or are we going to restrain ourselves and become sick and fvck up the family because of that urge?

It's funny how faithfulness today is the ONLY way of thinking for 99.9% of the people. Why's that?

What's better? Serial monogamy or "polygamy"? I wonder...

But in today's world you MUST fvck up your family if you have desire for another man or woman. Because if you "cheat" you are publicly shamed. So you better throw your marriage to the bin and kill your kids education but stay faithful at ALL cost.

We are chained to faithfulness. We have to chose between hell and evil. Men prefer to go their own way instead of being unfaithful and fully live all their pleasures and desires.

Women created that and we just eat it like it's the best thing since sliced bread. Really?

As a woman, I am incredibly loyal and would be more than capable of lifetime monogamy, if my partner and I were inspired to that choice. However, I think monogamous marriage till death is a societal ideal born out of fear, more than the true nature of men and women and their inherent needs and desires (and those of any children they have.)

 

[mrgoodstuff]

^True story. Periodically the grass always looks greener. Doesn't matter how hot she is. If you're a man, you get curious and bored and want to sample other flavors. You stay with somebody because you actually LIKE them and value all the other attributes they bring to the table. Stop obsessing over looks, OP.

If you are really unsatisfied with her looks, not just nitpicking (if you two lived on a desert island alone would you still be not turned on by her??), then move on.

You have the value the time and experience you have with her. There is a "building" of the relationship per say that will take time with someone else. And many more selfish and vain people WONT build anything with you. They will be worried about themselves. Even someone similar to her you have to go thru the steps.

This upgrading for looks can be an endless cycle, but it's up to you.

 

[Oneday_]

I'm starting to question if I'm even meant to be in relationships lol

 

[LiveYourDream]

I'm starting to question if I'm even meant to be in relationships lol

I believe relationships that come from two people sharing their overflow, can add incredible depth and richness to the lives of both. I think close partnerships where we share the deepest aspects of ourselves, naturally also challenge us to grow, can offer us immense support in challenging times ,as well as partnership in the best of times. I think partnership, when possible with an appropriate match, is a huge opportunity to enrichen ones life and experience. Joys and laughter (and dare I say love) can be amplified, as is the time needed to tend to a healthy partnership. (Of course, in a mismatched partnership all that is undesirable can be amplified as well.)

If one is simply looking for a woman to share sex, a mortgage/rent, chores/errands, cooking, and a bit of companionship, during non-working hours, to me it becomes more of a business arrangement. In this second scenario, I think the return on investment is far less, yet still remains worthwhile to some men, while not at all worth the sacrifice of freedom to others.

Be clear on what you want, what you are willing to give to attain and maintain that, and insure you have the proper partner type depending on the outcome you desire, (if it is partnership that you even seek.)

 

[Oneday_]

I do enjoy relationships but the constant desire to want another woman while in one makes me question it. None of my friends have these feelings (or at least don't confess to it) and they're all married. Guess it makes me wonder if what I'm going through is normal or if itd ever go away

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I do enjoy relationships but the constant desire to want another woman while in one makes me question it. None of my friends have these feelings (or at least don't confess to it) and they're all married. Guess it makes me wonder if what I'm going through is normal or if itd ever go away

Can you control yourself or your feelings control you?

 

[Glumix]

I do enjoy relationships but the constant desire to want another woman while in one makes me question it. None of my friends have these feelings (or at least don't confess to it) and they're all married. Guess it makes me wonder if what I'm going through is normal or if itd ever go away

Anything wrong with not getting married and going for the women you want ? How old are you ? How many women did you have in your life ?

 

[Jack Hensy]

I was in the same relationship. The best thing you can do is break up. If you don't break up that nagging feeling will get worse over time and you will suffer much regret and start to blame her.
Let's face it -- appearances don't matter as much as you think -- instead its a "spark" that keeps two people together for a long time.
I have seen it in old people who have lasted 70 years in a marriage. That spark is just there, and while looks fade, it is that twinkle in their eye, that crooked little smile, that infectious laugh that just turns you on like no other. If you had that spark -- you wouldn't think of leaving her. She doesn't do it for you.

 

[yuppee]

Have you given this woman your WORD to be loyal to her? A man whose word is no good is a pos.

 

[Atom Smasher]

As a woman, I am incredibly loyal and would be more than capable of lifetime monogamy, if my partner and I were inspired to that choice. However, I think monogamous marriage till death is a societal ideal born out of fear, more than the true nature of men and women and their inherent needs and desires (and those of any children they have.)

I think monogamous marriage is an ideal born not out of fear but rather out of a desire to rise above "true nature".

True nature at its core is selfishness and self-seeking.

Mankind used to strive to rise above this, but not anymore. Now it's every man for himself... the easy path.

 

[Oneday_]

Btw I'm 34 and was always in relationships from ages of 18-24 then decided to be single and just date around.

Had numerous encounters with women till age of 31 then went into relationships again and that's when I started getting these feelings of "grass is greener" and never fully feeling completely committed to the girl.

Something always bugged me and I'd think I could do better or find similar qualities with missing traits etc

 

[ubercat]

34s not a bad time to be looking at settling down. I m channelling @LiveFreeX here he can explain better. But if u want kids I d b shopping for a cute Asian wife 10 years younger. Make great wives and mothers.

 

[yuppee]

I do'nt consider it to be "settling down", it's "finally found her" and it did not happen until quite late in my life.