I Have Anger Problems/I Don't Know What To Do

[Tenacity]

They really need a face palm emoticon.

Well, Legend I listed everything out. So can you tell me what are the things I'm missing that you said you guys can see, that I can't see?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm told the following by women (positive things): I'm funny, can carry a good conversation, book smart, street smart, I have a lot of ambition, I'm an inspiration in certain ways, I'm a good speaker, I'm a good writer, and I fvck pretty good.

I'm also told the following by women (negative things): I come off like a player, I seem arrogant, I seem like "I say the same thing that I'm saying to her to other women", all I seem to care about at times is myself, sometimes I talk too much, sometimes I'm a pain in the a.ss, and sometimes I come off like all I want to do is have sex.

First of all, you're not funny. I have never laughed at anything you've ever said. I agree wholeheartedly with those other compliments about you, but everyone can't have everything.

You're coming off as shallow to women. Go volunteer at an animal shelter. Then the next time you're gaming whatever you think is a quality woman, you can just casually mention that you spend Saturday afternoons saving orphan bunnies. That builds value just as much as your job, your looks, or your bank account. And more importantly, it overcomes the weakness in your game - you don't imply that you are a deep and complex person, that there is a lot more of you to know. That's what women want, especially out of a guy like you who has the rest of his act together.

This deepness element that I am talking about, it is powerful enough to trump everything else that we guys view as important traits in a man. I don't care if I'm living out of a dumpster, if you give me a cute puppy on a leash, I'll have a girl in an hour or two. That's because women don't make rational and logical decisions about men; they are ruled by emotion.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Well, Legend I listed everything out. So can you tell me what are the things I'm missing that you said you guys can see, that I can't see?

In no particular order: Integrity, composed, class, well-mannered, polished, trustworthy, respect, substance, humility, inter alia.

Rebut to your own detriment. This is the image you portray. In person, you may be different, but then again you are the one professing the problem as you recognize something is off. If it were strictly a market issue, then we ALL would be experiencing the same absense. But as testified by nearly half the members in this thread, this is certainly not the case.

 

[Tenacity]

In no particular order: Integrity, composed, class, well-mannered, polished, trustworthy, respect, substance, humility, inter alia.

Rebut to your own detriment. This is the image you portray. In person, you may be different, but then again you are the one professing the problem as you recognize something is off. If it were strictly a market issue, then we ALL would be experiencing the same absense. But as testified by nearly half the members in this thread, this is certainly not the case.

I have integrity, respect and substance. I'm professional in professional circles (I have to be). I'm well-mannered. What else is it then Legend?

And to be fair, you can't go solely by the people responding in this thread. You have to judge the Manosphere as a whole and when you do, you will see there are FAR more people who agree with me than disagree, when you consider the high number of MGTOWs and MRAs. This thread in no means is in representation of the mass opinions of the Manosphere. If you talk to the majority of Manosphere members, they will tell you something is WRONG with the market.

But at the end of the day, this thread is ultimately about "Tenacity". Now you said you guys were CLEARLY seeing something fvcked up with me that I wasn't seeing, I'm waiting for somebody to tell me what in the world you are seeing, because again I'm not seeing it? I can't fix a problem I don't know is there.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I can't fix a problem I don't know is there.

If you are REALLY serious about this (which I highly doubt) this is you'd do.

1) Stop gaming chicks that are easy.

2) Game girls (or try to) that are OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE. Get rejected. Get shut down.

Do this for a few months and then you'll see.

Set up some HARD CRITERIA. If you were REALLY SERIOUS about improving yourself (which I don't think you are but I know many others are reading this) then you'd SPEND LESS THAN ONE HOUR, AND NEVER GET PHYSICAL WITH GIRLS WHO:

1) have bad credit

2) don't have full time jobs

3) have kids

4) are obese

5) don't have their own car

6) don't have their own place

7) don't have a college degree

If you can't figure this out from the first twenty minutes of meeting her, AND you can't bring yourself to walk away if she doesn't PASS ALL SCREENING TESTS, you will NEVER improve your skills.

But then again, I said this same thing like eight pages ago, and all you did was complain about me (and others) regurgitating some "positive thinking" crap.

THE ABOVE IS NOT POSITIVE THINKING.

The above is what will turn you into a high quality man.

When you can CONSISTENTLY bang girls who meet the above criteria, (and ONLY those girls) then we'll believe you're "high quality."

So, let's hear your excuses, one at a time, (in a numbered list if you prefer) why you REFUSE to follow the above advice.

THOSE REASONS are why you are LOW QUALITY.

If you FORCE YOURSELF to only bang women, or even associate with women that pass a HARD SET OF CONSISTENTLY STRENGTHENING CRITERIA will you realize the depth of your "low quality."

You're like some fat guy with tunnel vision that ONLY SEES fast food restaurants, and you literally CAN NOT SEE the plethora of whole food markets on every corner. (that is a metaphor. Please do not argue by offering a "counter metaphor" that shows "market weakness.")

The path of LOW QUALITY MALE to HIGH QUALITY MALE is not something you can do by reading advice on the internet.

It takes YEARS OF HARD WORK. Mental work. Emotionally difficult work. Emotionally painful work.

If you were REALLY SERIOUS (and not just trying to get people to agree that it's not your fault, it's the "market's fault) you would realize it will take YEARS to be HIGH QUALITY enough to attract HIGH QUALITY women.

The SAME LACK that keeps you from creating and keeping attraction in any woman of value is the SAME LACK that keeps you from having close friends, (like picking you up from the dentist).

It is not ONE THING that you can "notice" and change, like a golf grip or how you cook an omelette. Is is based on DEEP PERSONALITY issues.

And since ALL PERSONALITY and emotional issues are due to your childhood experiences, unless you ADDRESS and FIX those issues, you'll NEVER be able to "get" "high quality women."

Positive thinking won't help.

Church won't help.

New age counseling won't help.

Fake friends won't help.

Getting angry on the internet won't help.

Demanding that your mother apologize for fvcking you up won't help.

Demanding your family even admit their fvckups won't help.

If you (or anybody else who is reading this) is SERIOUS about improving yourself, this is a good place to start:

Six Pillars of Self Esteem

This is not a new age, positive thinking book. The last half is filled with tons of sentence completion exercises. IF YOU ARE SERIOUS, it will take you at least ONE YEAR to go through the exercises in that book.

You have to be VERY BRAVE to do these exercises honestly.

In fact, if you were REALLY serious (again, which I doubt) you'd spend a good deal of time FINDING A COUNSELOR to help you deal with your deeper issues. This is not easy. You need to screen them just as meticulously as you should screen your women. Few counselors are worth the money, so use that book as a starting point. Find a counselor that is familiar with it (that author is pretty well known.). PRINT OUT THIS THREAD AND BRING IT WITH YOU.

(But since you think you are in the top ten percent of men in the country, then you don't think you need this. You still think it's the markets fault.)

 

[Tictac]

You ever hear of the saying "you run into an assh*le in the morning, you ran into an assh*le; you run into assh*les all day, you're the assh*le."

Raylan Givens "Justified"

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

What is the purpose of our existence. To learn and correct our character deficiencies. At least that is what life has taught me.

Not trying to deride you but your internet persona exemplifies a shortage in character.

TO is correct. Half the job is stringently qualifying, as what you accept in your life is a reflection of YOU. The other half is working out the kinks in yourself. I named a few above. I hope you internalize my previous comment. It hard to accept what is deficient in us. Even harder is correcting what we already know is deficient.

You can acknowledge outward, but the minute you point outward, you are further from correcting inward.

If you look at Nature, it is perfect. No mistakes. It is we who make life imperfect. You begin by fixing yourself. Only then can you work on fixing others.

 

[Konada]

I suggest a skype chat so you guys can actually tell what's off about Ten rather than judging through a wall of text.

Also fvcking low quality trash when you are out there searching for 'high quality' is equivalent to the fat guy who says 'I'll continue eating macdonalds until I get my weight loss diet in check.' Half-a$$ things and you get half-a$$ed results.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I suggest a skype chat so you guys can actually tell what's off about Ten rather than judging through a wall of text.

I know what's exactly "off" about Tenacity. It's the same that's off with most guys who suck with women. Just different in matters of degree. But to actually hear it, you have to WANT to hear it.

He does not.

 

[Tenacity]

I suggest a skype chat so you guys can actually tell what's off about Ten rather than judging through a wall of text.

Also fvcking low quality trash when you are out there searching for 'high quality' is equivalent to the fat guy who says 'I'll continue eating macdonalds until I get my weight loss diet in check.' Half-a$$ things and you get half-a$$ed results.

I'm open to this. Also I think this thread has been awesome, it's been passionate on all sides. T.O. I'm taking the suggestions you have put up here and I will update this thread with report.

In terms of the "more quality women" focus, it's been going on 10 days now. I use OLD and my social circle to gather women. It's been going okay, these women are just more DIFFICULT to deal with. But I will keep this thread updated. When I say more difficult, they are just stuck up (boogie) like FVCK and it's a little different to always tailor my personality to this shyt.

But yeah, if you guys want to do a chat (video or just by telephone), I'm open to it as I've suggested that pages ago. I honestly don't know why everybody is so damn hidden on this forum.

 

[Die Hard]

Some of the things you guys have said was to fix the anger issues and think more "positive", I'm already working on that.

I find that hard to believe... See, you can only think more positive if you think less realistic. You're telling me you're actually doing that? Fat chance...

 

[Slickster]

This deepness element that I am talking about, it is powerful enough to trump everything else that we guys view as important traits in a man.

This is a really good point. I believe this is a big (if not the biggest) reason for my successes with women.

I can remember one night I had introduced a new girl friend of mine to my group of friends. At one point all the women had gone off to the other room to talk leaving us guys watching sports or something. I went to get a beer from the fridge and overheard the girls talking about me in the other room. One of the girls was telling my girlfriend that the reason women like me so much is because I'm not afraid to talk about the things that most guys won't. Another girl added that she felt we always had such great conversations together.

I always talk about making genuine connections and seeking out genuine people around here. I really think this is the key. There is no formula and it's impossible to teach or put it into words on an internet forum. It's about stirring up emotions and feelings and getting people to open up about themselves and things that they wouldn't normally share. When that happens connections form because you have both shared parts of yourselves. Part of it is listening but you have to open up yourself to get the ball rolling. Most guys simply can't do that with anyone let alone a chick.

Tenacity, your comments about chicks "thinking you are a player" and "you only think about yourself" are very telling when analyzing your problems getting quality chicks. You can be the most social, outgoing, funny and ambitious guy around. That is all just surface stuff. You need to connect with women on a deeper level than you have been. With your current views on women and the marketplace in general I think it's going to be near impossible for you to do that. OR as I said earlier you just may not have it in you. This is why I've said in the past that you really need to get the hell out of Dodge and go explore the world and travel. I think it would do you, your personality, and your freakin' soul a world of good. You won't make any significant changes to your outlook living in the burbs of Detroit.

P.S. As for sharing pics, etc. I have an immense social circle. I also have a career that has literally put me in contact with 1000's of youth over the past decade. I've shared almost my entire life story here including way too many personal details, thoughts and opinions. I have no interest in posting pics of myself. I've seen a few photos of guys I've met on here in the past but I actually prefer it to be anonymous. I can tell who is genuine or not just from reading and remembering things they have told me in the past. I have no motivation to prove anything thing to anyone here.

If you want to know what I look like I've been told this guy is my doppleganger. Ironically he happens to be one of my favourite musicians.

http://www.indierecordshop.com/blog/images/GLove.jpg
http://www.paysbig.com/files/2514/4854/7383/G-Love-Special-Sauce-2016-northern-lights-theater.jpg

Good luck

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I always talk about making genuine connections and seeking out genuine people around here. I really think this is the key. There is no formula and it's impossible to teach or put it into words on an internet forum. It's about stirring up emotions and feelings and getting people to open up about themselves and things that they wouldn't normally share.

This is KEY right here. This is about being real, genuine, congruent. This is what they really mean when they say BE YOURSELF. Not your "fake self" or your "pretend self" or your "self that is afraid of offending her" self or your "game self." The REAL YOU that wants to get to know the REAL HER.

SO MANY guys are scared shytless and hide behind game, fakeness, layers and layers of fake confidence that is masking deep insecurity that when a REAL HONEST DUDE like SLICKSTER comes around, the girls can't get enough of him.

This takes HUGE amounts of courage, as most guys are TERRIFIED that if they expose their REAL SELVES to any woman, and get REJECTED, it will be DEATH.

But before you can openly and honestly express your REAL SELF, you have to accept and even LOVE your real self.

This takes TONS of work.

BUT, if you are open, honest and LOVE and express your real self, to EVERYBODY, not just girls you want to bang..


...PVZZY MAGNET

 

[Asasione]

Since I know Tenacity will be reading this stuff and thinking WTF. Let me put in an alternate way of thinking about it that you may be able to apply. The ultimate form of the techniques and other ideologies that we learn from C&F, seduction techniques, story telling patterns (making mundane things more interesting through exaggeration, pacing, tonality etc), eliciting values and so on is to be able to do them subconsciously and to incorporate them seamlessly with our REAL personality. It has to be something that comes from a genuine place and has to be authentically you, you shouldn't have to think about it but just do it and that takes years, and that takes a lot of work on yourself and your issues. I'm already seeing you mentioning that you're tailoring your personality to different women and situations, and there goes your problem. You also seem to be transparent to women and they already know what you're all about - just getting laid. The better quality women you're after are just as perceptive and will see through the facade and neither will you be able to maintain the personas you're trying to put out.

You like thinking its positive thinking that many others are encouraging but your supposed realistic view is obvious even to children. You also always try to bring other people into focus talking about MRA and other groups who are seeing similar patterns, forgetting majority of those men are bitter and have a certain world view that is a self fulfilling prophecy. Not to mention majority of them suck with women.

Your focus should be on you and your own improvement and heading towards your greater goals, those MRA guys start having success in their lives doesn't change a damn thing in yours. The main thing you should do is start demanding only the types of women and things you want and reject those women and things that don't meet your standards. You won't die if you don't get laid for a couple months. There have to be some sacrifices and its better doing it now and benefiting for years to come

 

[Tenacity]

I believe this has been a great thread, I'm going to summarize again the things I'm working on as well as additional comments.

#1.) What I'm Working On Currently

- The anger issues and other internal issues

- Zoning in more on the women that I tend to believe are more balanced, and not entertaining the women that I just think are completely messed up or have characteristics that I don't want to tolerate for a long period of time.


#2.) Additional Commentary

In relation to everything you guys are saying about fixing the internal issues in relation to anger, depression, etc., I'm 100% on board with it. Everything else, I'm sorry, it's just either a gross misrepresentation of who I am as a person, the type of women I've been dealing with (now and over the previous 6 years), and the rest is just flat out cartoon shyt.

- A lot of the recommendations you guys are making about "not coming off fake", I already do that. I don't use game. I'm myself, which is basically who I am as a person with a lot of Manosphere related techniques incorporated into my natural personality. Only so much can be communicated via words on a screen, if you guys weren't so steadfast on being anonymous as hell, maybe we can do some networking off of this site and learn more about each other.

- For the 10th time, I don't talk to "low level women". This keeps getting repeated, over and over, I have no idea why?

- I do not believe in the theory of there being a "high quality woman" nor in a "high quality man" in 2016. If you guys disagree, that's fine, we aren't going to 100% agree on everything. I FIRMLY believe that are we are ALL fvcked up on some level, nobody is fvcking "high quality". I believe that what you have with ANY mate you decide to be with, is your own level of bullshyt tolerance. Basically, what bullshyt will you tolerate and what bullshyt will you not tolerate? In the Past, I had no issues tolerating "bullshyt" of a woman having fvcked up finances and more than 1 kid, TODAY, I can't tolerate that bullshyt any longer. However, JUST BECAUSE I'm zoning in on women who have good finances and no more than 1 kid, like I said before, this does NOT make her a "high quality woman". There are still going to be things fvcked up with her that I have to deal with as that's the reality of dealing with any woman.

- Based on this paragraph above, I'm not sure why you guys keep referring to my search as looking for a "high quality woman" when I don't believe any woman is high quality? Name ANY woman (celebrity or non celebrity) and I guarantee I will list out at least 5 things majorly wrong with her.

- About being the Top 5% of men in the country, again, it's like I'm reading a damn movie script which is what I'm referring to with the "cartoon shyt". Minus celebrities, nobody fits this criteria that T.O. has put up here and quite frankly, it's not even REQUIRED. Why do I say that it's not required? Look, I'm black okay and I mainly date black women...there are a LOT of educated, fine, sexy, black women who are currently dating guys who aren't shyt. When I say they aren't shyt, I mean they aren't shyt, they have bad finances and the whole nine yards. So to suggest you have to be JAMES FVCKING BOND to get "better quality women" is just complete bullshyt and I flat out disagree with it.


#3.) However

However, every single thing said about fixing the internal issues I agree with and that's what I'm working on. Listen, I appreciate everything you guys have said, good and bad, the purpose of the Manosphere though is to take all of this information and customize it for your life because nobody here actually KNOWS you in real life.

I also still believe you guys need to stop being so ANONYMOUS. I've offered to do web chats, telephone chats, hell even an email chat, but you guys want to remain under ANONYMOUS usernames and I have no damn idea why? Are you embarrassed to say you are apart of this site? I'm not, to me it's like a fraternity of guys who get together to discuss all sorts of things from women, to marriage, to being a Father, to working out, to building wealth. What are you ashamed of?

The reason I'm all for this push is because it helps to get to KNOW EACH other better. Only so much can be communicated via words on a screen and I think it's completely stupid for us to sit here, communicate with each other often during the week, but not know jack SHYT about each other in real life other than what's put on a screen.

There are tens of thousands of guys registered on this site, imagine how powerful our network could be if we knew each other off of here? We could throw each other job opportunities, meet up in various regions and be ultimate WINGMEN to each other, throw each other women here and there, all types of shyt.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Much value in this thread. Good job wanting to work on yourself Tenacity.

I'll exit this thread with a story:

Last month, a hobo approaches me and asks if I am a lawyer. He continues to tell me that he used to work in Goldman Sachs and lost his job when the market crashed in 2008. He continues that the financial and political systems are corrupt, biased, and unfair. There are investment products for those with $25 million dollar accounts that are guaranteed (by the five largest institutions) rates of returns between 10-12% to further their compounding wealth. And for the $100+ million accounts, guaranteed rates of returns of 15%. The super-wealthy have friends who are the top political and financial figures, thus having access to special licenses or have the abilities to lift restrictions in commercial business to their own benefit. They own the courts as well. Their offspring have access to the best of schools and thus are able to guarantee success (outside of their estate) for their children. And the poor, what do they get ... nothing!

The man went on and on for 15 minutes telling about all the political/financial injustices in this country. I responded with one simple question, "How does this focus help YOU?" As this man continues to focus or blame the market (although he is right!), he wrongs himself by failing to focus on the glaring (financial) problem ... HIM. If he had a genuine intent to effect change upon society, how could he do it as a hobo? First, he would need to work on himself. Build himself up. Work hard. Attain power. Attain assets. Then he might be heard. The man continued to state that he will orchestrate a protest ... yada, yada.

So what is the lesson here. Don't be the hobo. (In case it's misunderstood, I'm referring to a hobo of quality.)

 

[ChrisFloyd]

You are either destined to be great or you are not, and with that come other external things which are of the same quality of yourself.

In other words, no matter how much discussions you participate, how much time you spend on self-improvement etc, if you are a loser, you are always a loser. Most winners feel guilty if they admit that most of their success come not from positive thinking, hard work or sh!t like that. They will bombard you with advice and shaming words. But in the end, not everyone can be CEO. Not everyone can get the best women/men. There have to be losers, so there can be winners.

If you are born to achieve great things, then you will. If you have to ask how or why you can not, then you probably are desiring what is not for you.

So rub one out, get some sleep and forget all about this. Or as you put it better than I do:

Just Fvck Off.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

If you are born to achieve great things, then you will. If you have to ask how or why you can not, then you probably are desiring what is not for you.

I give props to Tenacity for putting his "stuff" out there. That takes balls, humility, and a willingness to change.

Some are born to greatness; others change and actualize greatness. No specific formula (for all) to transcendence ().

 

[Tenacity]

The man went on and on for 15 minutes telling about all the political/financial injustices in this country. I responded with one simple question, "How does this focus help YOU?" As this man continues to focus or blame the market (although he is right!), he wrongs himself by failing to focus on the glaring (financial) problem ... HIM. If he had a genuine intent to effect change upon society, how could he do it as a hobo? First, he would need to work on himself. Build himself up. Work hard. Attain power. Attain assets. Then he might be heard. The man continued to state that he will orchestrate a protest ... yada, yada.

So what is the lesson here. Don't be the hobo. (In case it's misunderstood, I'm referring to a hobo of quality.)

Excellent story, it's just that your solution to that hobo was correct in theory, but as the system gets more manipulated it gets harder to mount up any type of success for people like that. That's not me "whining" either, millions of Americans feel this same way and that's why Bernie Sanders is doing so well right now Legend. There IS something wrong with the financial system in this country and telling people to just "figure out a way to rise up despite it" is just not going to cut it anymore.

There was a time when pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps worked, but when they have taken your bootstraps, taken your boots, and sliced off your hands, how do you build yourself up by your own bootstraps anymore? Again like I said, it's why a Socialist like Bernie Sanders is doing so well, people are waking up to our Global NWO/Fraud/Fascist System. Never before in history has a Socialist been THIS CLOSE to the White House.

Even when we discuss the market of women in relation to dating/relationships, Legend don't let this thread fool you....I'm NOT in the minority on this. There is a reason why so many guys are opting out of marriage, going MGTOW, why the MRA Movement is getting so big, hell even why SoSuave/PUA/The Manosphere was created in the first place. It's because there is something completely FVCKED UP with this market of women. It's easy for you guys to just throw MGTOWs off as just "losers", it's way more complicated than that. There are some losers in the MGTOW Movement, but most of those guys are not losers, they are guys who can see this market CLEARLY (red pill) while most men still cannot clearly see what's going on (blue pill).

 

[LiveYourDream]

The man went on and on for 15 minutes telling about all the political/financial injustices in this country.

I responded with one simple question, "How does this focus help YOU?"

The man continued to state that he will orchestrate a protest ...


yada, yada.

and on,

and on,

and on, he goes...