Post-Lay Soft No-Contact

[Bible_Belt]

She came over three days ago, just sat on my couch for a while. She mentioned having a date planned that evening...with a woman. I told her to have fun, Then the next two days went by with radio silence. I refused to text her first, and stuck by my premise of the OP. I was ready to never hear from her again. I was lonely, and I missed her. But I'm never going to tell her that.

She texted me last night at 4 AM that she wanted to come over, which I slept through. It turns out that her date was last night, and was with a guy. The girl cancelled. She wouldn't tell me anything about it when she came over today, and I didn't press the issue. Then we fvcked...a lot. Finally, afterward, she confessed that she bolted from her date late last night right before she had sex with the guy, which was why she was texting me at 4 am. Obviously, one never knows for sure when a woman is telling the truth, but I believe her. If he had fvcked her, I doubt she could have taken the pounding she got from me today,

She was a little irritated about the way she came right back to me after trying to date someone else. I knew this would happen, and she probably knows that, which is what makes her even more irritated. I said earlier that I only have to play her to a draw - that's in large part because women are naturally monogamous. It's not in a woman's nature to have a lot of sex partners at once. That's not to say it doesn't happen, obviously. But I think when a woman has a close emotional connection with a man, it's going to make it hard for her to be with someone else. That's what happened to me with this girl. Women are very different than men in this regard, which is why it is easy for us to not understand how much they tie emotion to sex.

I knew this would happen. I ran the same game plan from the start, and I stuck to it. She told me initially that she didn't believe in monogamy. This girl is a HB9 and obviously always has options. But my response has always been "ok! have fun!" without any jealousy at all. That's the mind fvck that is the finishing move to the good sex we have. It's at least as important as the sex, if not more so. That's the theme of this thread, the power of the soft no-contact. Never text a woman first. Even if you are lonely, even if she is out on a date with another guy, - never do it. That takes a strong man. Women are attracted to strength. I'm going to stick with that idea as far as this girl goes. It's what got me this far, and things are going well.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I said earlier that I only have to play her to a draw - that's in large part because women are naturally monogamous. It's not in a woman's nature to have a lot of sex partners at once. That's not to say it doesn't happen, obviously. But I think when a woman has a close emotional connection with a man, it's going to make it hard for her to be with someone else. That's what happened to me with this girl. Women are very different than men in this regard, which is why it is easy for us to not understand how much they tie emotion to sex.

I knew this would happen. I ran the same game plan from the start, and I stuck to it. She told me initially that she didn't believe in monogamy. This girl is a HB9 and obviously always has options. But my response has always been "ok! have fun!" without any jealousy at all. That's the mind fvck that is the finishing move to the good sex we have. It's at least as important as the sex, if not more so. That's the theme of this thread, the power of the soft no-contact. Never text a woman first. Even if you are lonely, even if she is out on a date with another guy, - never do it. That takes a strong man. Women are attracted to strength. I'm going to stick with that idea as far as this girl goes. It's what got me this far, and things are going well.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
THIS is incredibly insightful. It matches my observations and experience as well.

Emotional connection plus sex is a very powerful hook for women. Add those to giving her the freedom and option to choose back and not pursuing, by remaining responsive yet mostly indifferent, all the while standing in strength, is a combination that makes women wet and want you even more.

To me, this is what being a DJ is all about.

If only all the men here, busy gaming with deceit, could learn and experience this, their perspective would never be the same. Then again, deceit game is for the weak and insecure, while this approach, that of a DJ, requires strength.

 

[visions]

OP, where did you find her?

 

[Bible_Belt]

She replied to my POF ad. I had not seen her profile, because she has it set up so that only the guys she messages can see it. But her response was long and uninteresting, and her pics didn't show much of her, so I didn't respond. Plus, she's 37 and I would not never be interested in a girl that close to my age. Then a day or two later, I replied to a craigslist ad that I later found out was the same girl.

 

[CMNILS87]

how old is she if she has two teens? and damn ***** does her squats

 

[Bible_Belt]

I know. I've never seen a 37 y/o with a body like hers.

 

[visions]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

To me, this is what being a DJ is all about.

If only all the men here, busy gaming with deceit, could learn and experience this, their perspective would never be the same. Then again, deceit game is for the weak and insecure, while this approach, that of a DJ, requires strength.

This is exactly why women on this site need to be identified. They give fvcked up advice

 

[LiveYourDream]

This is exactly why women on this site need to be identified. They give fvcked up advice

I acknowledged Bible_Belt on HIS choices that HAVE been working WELL for him. I was saying that HIS choices as a man, that were successful for him, match my experience of what works well with me as a woman.

I suggested that if other men understood it as well as he, they could have women naturally, without needing to resort to games and deceit. There was no new advice to fvck anyone up.

Less effort or more effort? I figure every man here would prefer the quickest and most effective route. To me, Bible_Belt is on to it.

If you are one that just prefer games or effort, then enjoy that.

 

[BeExcellent]

To me this is a brilliant thread. So you want to game the hottest women who have REAL confidence in their sexuality and their market value? This thread is the road map. It will work for insecure women too (who will eventually blow themselves out of contention for a man's time with insecure behavior) but for the most desired women? This is priceless. This is not an insecure average looking woman. This is a gorgeous desirable woman who knows exactly what she wants, enjoys sex, and is a man's wet dream. Rich men throw themselves at her. But she finds them boring because she understands her power in the market place and she cannot tolerate bad or boring sex. And let's face it, lots of people (men and women) are terrible in bed. You can have money but still suck in the sack. An awful reality for all involved. I for one will not put up with bad sex (starting with the kissing ability). Life is too short.

One of the interesting things to me in the details Bible Belt has shared is that this was a Craigslist meet up. The man I currently see was also a Craigslist meet up. I made a very specific post WITHOUT a picture of me and from the 70 or so responses picked someone whose look I liked and who seemed to have a sexy but elegant vibe like mine. Turns out I couldn't have drawn up someone better. OLD does not allow for the same sort of unvarnished dialogue and CL is not for the faint of heart, but it works sometimes. For me there was an incredible first meet & escalation, and seriously good sex by date 3. After some warmth and kino he made the decision to kiss me on the first date. Not a shy little half ass kiss either. A kiss that told me without a doubt he is a sexual being. I thought to myself Thank God!! But he didn't push right then, he built tension. I KNOW he was nervous (and frankly so was I a little) but we both had game, maturity, high interest and knew how to be cool. He knows the game well and he knows how to lead.

Mine is far away. So I can't do as Bible Belt does with impromptu get togethers...(I have local distractions so it is fine). He never smothers me. Ever. He is never AFC, ever. I assume he sees other women. I do not care. I know he likes me and finds me hot or he would drop contact with me. I also know I am very rare which he has tangentially noted various times. And if he finds a local femme fatale he may drop me. So what.

And after we first had sex, we parted ways and I flew home. I thought OK, I might never hear from him again, and that is OK. I enjoyed him immensely. He did text first, late that evening, just a "Home safe?". Translation: I like you; keep in touch.

The text he sent was nothing different than the previously established text pattern. And his communication pattern has remained steady throughout. Neither blowing up the other's phone. His frame is as reassuring as it is refreshing.

In my case because there are no strings or expectations attached and because there is honesty from the beginning about the arrangement a strange and wonderful thing is happening. Two people are choosing to be totally straight up about what they want as far as desire, it is known that this is NOT a "relationship" in the standard sense and it frees both people to completely let go and enjoy one another without prejudice.

From this platform authenticity is established and intimacy can take root although it develops organically rather than out of expectation. I show him respect, I appreciate him & uplift him; my actions tell him I desire him & care for him. His actions tell me he likes me and enjoys me. We have the usual constraints of ex's and kids and life obligations. The absence of jealousy is liberating. Incredible connection, incredible compatibility, intimacy and companionship. Insane desire, great sex. Existing purely in the moment. It is nice to have a lover in the pure sense of the word.

It is also nice to be mature enough to look for exactly what I want in a man independent of security needs or anything else. I've got that covered for myself and I have had my children (and been to the vet) so my priorities are very different than a woman in her 20s who has not yet married or had a family or from those of a woman who is not financially secure.

This type of involvement is NOT for the immature or the insecure. These type of ongoing encounters will break insecure or immature people and keep even someone like Bible Belt checking his AFC/oneitis tendencies at the door.

Basically this is about in my opinion, inner game. Being your authentic self. I totally respect Bible Belt tagging himself as "Womanizer Seeks Heartbreaker". Makes me want to buy the man a beer. Completely unvarnished authenticity which I give great value. And it seems Bible Belt you have found you something amazing. So keep your frame and play her to a draw. She will fall in love with you and you might accidently end up with something incredible, even though you tell yourself you are unaffected. Actually you are and that's not a bad thing. All the Best!

 

[Glumix]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
THIS is incredibly insightful. It matches my observations and experience as well.

Emotional connection plus sex is a very powerful hook for women. Add those to giving her the freedom and option to choose back and not pursuing, by remaining responsive yet mostly indifferent, all the while standing in strength, is a combination that makes women wet and want you even more.

To me, this is what being a DJ is all about.

If only all the men here, busy gaming with deceit, could learn and experience this, their perspective would never be the same. Then again, deceit game is for the weak and insecure, while this approach, that of a DJ, requires strength.

You simply don't understand or you didn't read the thread.

This thread is about game and effort and deceit.
This thread is about Bible_Best struggling against himself to not contact her.

The title is Post-lay Soft-NC.

So women want good sex, emotional connection, the freedom to choose, to be not pursued except when they want it, they want strength and DJs all over the place.

And what do they give for all that? They go fvck with a millionaire, a few other guys and call you back at 4AM because they have post-coital tristesse?

Hopefuly she brings food and beer back with her vagina.

And you want to build our society on those values? Because it seems those are your values.

This thread is about fvcking women and getting the more out of them without interfering with their imperatives otherwise they run away.

This thread is about an insecure woman.

Sure she is confident about her body, like most BPD, narcissistic, fvcked up hot women. Her SMV is high but her real value is down to the ground. She's not LTR material, she is good for the fvck and nothing else.

So perhaps it's OK when you are 40-something divorced with kids, but then what? Do you teach your kids to behave like that? Just think about it and show them who you really are.

"Look sweetheart, do like me, your mother: get a husband, kids and a divorce and then you will be able to have all the money, and the d!cks you want. This is being a mature confident woman today."

I would love to ear about your marriage and how you had so bad s€x you felt the obligation to fvck-up your whole family and kids so you can get fvcked by DJs. Great stuff for the next generation. You will certainly be congratulated by a horde of feminists.

This is exactly why women on this site need to be identified. They give fvcked up advice

^^^^ This is it.

 

[Huffman]

The discussion seems to drift a bit here. I can't see anything particularly wrong with what LiveYourDream (or BeExcellent, for that matter) said on the topic of Bible Belts's exploits. Doesn't sound to me like real deceit is involved.

Also congrats Bible Belt. I am bloody jealous.

 

[visions]

...they could have women naturally, without needing to resort to games and deceit.

The discussion seems to drift a bit here. I can't see anything particularly wrong with what LiveYourDream (or BeExcellent, for that matter) said on the topic of Bible Belts's exploits. Doesn't sound to me like real deceit is involved.

Also congrats Bible Belt. I am bloody jealous.

Huffman, i strongly disagree with LiveYourDream's statement.

This website is the antithesis of that statement. We can't have people on the website trying to undo its essence.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Interesting ...

Visions, two days later you finally decide to share what it was that you apparently felt was such fvcked up advice (that I apparently gave as a woman) that you needed to make a special post about it.

One would think you would actually have stated what it was in your ever important warning, for the other men to know. You didn't.

The only thing you actually did do, was mis-quote me and then warn others about what you portrayed I'd actually written.

Now Huffman makes a comment and you reply

Drum roll......

Now the quote you gave as your explanation to Huffman...was NOT even in the post you criticized! Seriously!!

...they could have women naturally, without needing to resort to games and deceit.

Huffman, i strongly disagree with LiveYourDream's statement.

This website is the antithesis of that statement. We can't have people on the website trying to undo its essence.

The words are not from the post you even criticized. Sure the words are in a later post of mine. You present them lacking ALL/ANY of the context I used them in.

Now you assert that both, I and these "out of context" words of mine, are intentionally threatening the very essence of this website?

Really???

 

[LiveYourDream]

Part 1 of 4

This is exactly why women on this site need to be identified. They give fvcked up advice

Please help me understand the fvcked up advice you felt I gave, that you specifically needed to post to warn other men.

I don't see it. I am open. I am here learning. What do you see that is so fvcked up that apparently I don't?

Let me start from the beginning...

I said earlier that I only have to play her to a draw - that's in large part because women are naturally monogamous. It's not in a woman's nature to have a lot of sex partners at once. That's not to say it doesn't happen, obviously. But I think when a woman has a close emotional connection with a man, it's going to make it hard for her to be with someone else. That's what happened to me with this girl. Women are very different than men in this regard, which is why it is easy for us to not understand how much they tie emotion to sex.

I knew this would happen. I ran the same game plan from the start, and I stuck to it. She told me initially that she didn't believe in monogamy. This girl is a HB9 and obviously always has options. But my response has always been "ok! have fun!" without any jealousy at all. That's the mind fvck that is the finishing move to the good sex we have. It's at least as important as the sex, if not more so. That's the theme of this thread, the power of the soft no-contact. Never text a woman first.(*) Even if you are lonely, even if she is out on a date with another guy, - never do it. That takes a strong man. Women are attracted to strength. I'm going to stick with that idea as far as this girl goes. It's what got me this far, and things are going well.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
THIS is incredibly insightful. It matches my observations and experience as well.

I wrote that I found the section above, that I quoted from Bible Belt, to be incredibly insightful (note BOLD)
*The only reason I did not also highlight the line, "Never text a woman first.", is because of the word never. (In the course of a relationship there are exceptions, in my opinion. I was not concerned whether those exceptions were implied or not, in what he wrote, when I quoted it. To me, the point he is making with it, regardless, is spot on, never contact a woman from a place of jealousy or loneliness.

I then said this matches my own observations and experiences.

I stand by this.
Please help me understand... What advice, exactly, have I given here that is so fvcked up.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Part 2 of 4

Emotional connection plus sex is a very powerful hook for women. Add those to giving her the freedom and option to choose back and not pursuing, by remaining responsive yet mostly indifferent, all the while standing in strength, is a combination that makes women wet and want you even more.

To me, this is what being a DJ is all about.

I stand by this.
Please help me understand... What advice, exactly, have I given here that is so fvcked up.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Part 3 of 4

If only all the men here, busy gaming with deceit, could learn and experience *this*, their perspective would never be the same.

*this,* (to me), referred to everything highlighted in all the sections I noted above.

I stand by this.
Please help me understand... What advice, exactly, have I given here that is so fvcked up.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Part 4 of 4

Then again, deceit game is for the weak and insecure, while *this* approach, that of a DJ (in my opinion), requires strength.

To me, "deceit game" is when a man simply says whatever he feels he needs to say to get pvssy or obtain his objective. For some 100% of what they say may be lies, for some a fair amount less. His primary method is manipulation by deceit.

The longer a relationship continues under the facade of lies, the more effortful it is to remember them all, continually build upon them, and not to be found out.

Men who get that by creating emotional connection with women, with sex, while maintaining indifference and refraining from over-pusuing and refraining from displaying feelings like jealousy, loneliness, clinginess, will have a whole different level of success and enjoyment of women in my opinion. These are true DJ's in my opinion.

Men whose approach is to ONLY/PRIMARILY spin lies to get pvssy, have no idea what they are missing. Their whole world would/could change if they were able to learn and experience the other.

I stand by this.
What here, exactly, do you find to be the so dangerous and fvcked up advice?

 

[LiveYourDream]

You simply don't understand or you didn't read the thread.

This thread is about game and effort and deceit.
This thread is about Bible_Best struggling against himself to not contact her.

The title is Post-lay Soft-NC.

So women want good sex, emotional connection, the freedom to choose, to be not pursued except when they want it, they want strength and DJs all over the place.

And what do they give for all that? They go fvck with a millionaire, a few other guys and call you back at 4AM because they have post-coital tristesse?

Hopefuly she brings food and beer back with her vagina.

And you want to build our society on those values? Because it seems those are your values.

This thread is about fvcking women and getting the more out of them without interfering with their imperatives otherwise they run away.

This thread is about an insecure woman.

Sure she is confident about her body, like most BPD, narcissistic, fvcked up hot women. Her SMV is high but her real value is down to the ground. She's not LTR material, she is good for the fvck and nothing else.

So perhaps it's OK when you are 40-something divorced with kids, but then what? Do you teach your kids to behave like that? Just think about it and show them who you really are.

"Look sweetheart, do like me, your mother: get a husband, kids and a divorce and then you will be able to have all the money, and the d!cks you want. This is being a mature confident woman today."

I would love to ear about your marriage and how you had so bad s€x you felt the obligation to fvck-up your whole family and kids so you can get fvcked by DJs. Great stuff for the next generation. You will certainly be congratulated by a horde of feminists.

This is exactly why women on this site need to be identified. They give fvcked up advice

^^^^ This is it.

Glumix, I did read the thread. I replied stating exactly what aspects I thought were right on.

How you jumped from what I shared SPECIFICALLY, to all the projections in your post above, (with some seemingly directed at me), is beyond me.

 

[visions]

LiveYourDream, I didn't mean to offend you, but my point still stands.

As a woman, you naturally will see the Game in a different light than men. Each of the sexes has their objective.

The men on this site are trying to accomplish their goal (efficiently tap pvssy) , and women are trying to accomplish theirs (extract resources from men while fvcking the alphas). These goals are largely mutually exclusive.

You wrote from the perspective of accomplishing a woman's goal, hence the need for me to clarify.

 

[LiveYourDream]

...