Realizing Just How "Alone" I Am

[ubercat]

I think having places u go regularly is key. If u find a local bar and cafe and go there every couple of weeks and make a point to talk to people u will naturally starts to make friends. Team sports r good. If you are the intellectual type then a chess club is good. But friendships are just like pick up naturally 1 in 10 girls will find you attractive. Probably same thing with friends maybe 1 in 5 will end up being good long term friends.

So just like you have to keep approaching you have to keep offering the hand. Is the guy at the bar is a Knicks fan and there's a game coming up bring it up in conversation maybe u will end up going to the game. If somebody's into classic cars and there's a show coming to town or a TV show on it bring it to their attention. Basically you have to give a s*** about people and show them you give a s*** can't say I'm very good at this but I do have guy friends to take me to the dentist. And yeah unless it was a long term girlfriend I wouldn't rely on a woman for .much

 

[Konada]

This a great post right here.

Tenacity you generally "get what you give" out of life. A guy I know once had a similar talk with me. He was complaining that he had no real friends or anyone who really cared about him. So I started asking hard questions and we came the conclusion that he didn't give a fvck about anyone except himself. There wasn't a single person family or friends that he gave a sh!t about. Funny how that works.

I would't get too caught up in labelling red pill vs. blue pill. That's just BS and has nothing to do with any loneliness you are feeling. Reread Atom's post over and over. The answers are there. I'd start with family and branch out from there.

While I do agree with giving without expectations, ultimately relationships do take 2 hands to clap. What's your take on that?

 

[btownbuck2012]

@ OP -

I don't think it's so much that you're alone, you're just choosing to acknowledge the ugly truth of life.

For example, in my life I have friends, occasionally a girl that I'll be serious with, and coworkers. It's what looks good through a blue pill lense. However, if the **** were to ever "hit the fan", the only two people on this planet who would give a damn enough to stick with me are my mom and dad. That's it. And I also realize I'm lucky even to have that.

So while, you're not "alone", as in it's just you in a vast wilderness with no other type of social interaction, you are alone in the fact that you need to have your best interest in mind always, because most of the people in your life, don't.

 

[Albatross953]

I had one upper wisdom tooth pulled last week. Not impacted so a simple pull.
Took two Advil, ton of freezing. Drove myself home, raided my sons freezies. Not so bad.


Good luck w the procedure.

 

[evan12]

It seem you are not living inside your community , you will eventually be alone.

 

[sodbuster]

I'd look at your level of "deserve".... I deserve a couple of friends who will always BE there. I deserve a great woman. IF you don't think you deserve it..... you push it away subconsciously. I have a ton of people I know, but only maybe 4 I could/ would count on

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Tenacity,
Get another Fang Doctor,there are more Dentists than you have teeth...This whole Nanny State thing is way out of Control!

 

[thatfeel]

Tenacity, I just wanted to comment on something you said in one of your earlier posts about how your plates were flaky as fvck with their responses like "I could probably do it but". The important take away this is to understand generally that women are not loyal and you cannot depend on them for sh!t.

You seem like a cool guy and I enjoyed reading your posts in this thread because of how articulate they are. So don't get too hard on yourself. I understand completely how you feel right now.

 

[amoka]

Spinach,

Overall, you are 100% correct, it's just that I don't know how to implement what you are saying right now?

- All I know how to do is "attract" women and eventually get them to fvck. How do I make a woman want to do some of these other things such as be loyal, supportive, there for me when I need someone to drive me to wisdom teeth extraction appointments, etc?

I guess I'm saying, what if you have already DONE what you can do make "changes" but this is the BEST you are getting? What else would I work on is the question?

You have a major problem, bro. Life is more than making money and attracting women. If you can't find anyone to drive you to the dentist for 3 hours max of the day, it means no one can rely on you to do the same for them. You can judge a man's life by his funeral and yours isn't looking pretty.

 

[Zunder]

Hire a Hooker to take you there pick you up etc, then bang the shyt outa her to help ease the pain of the teeth removal.
Sound plan I say.

 

[Desdinova]

If you can't find anyone to drive you to the dentist for 3 hours max of the day, it means no one can rely on you to do the same for them. You can judge a man's life by his funeral and yours isn't looking pretty.

I disagree. Humans are generally selfish and will use others as much as possible for free service. I find this is common amongst my male friends. I do 5hit for them, and they generally do nothing in return. I also find women are much better and more reliable when it comes to returning favours.

I'll state it again, there is nothing wrong with being "alone" if you know how to embrace it. Make 5hit work for you. This past week, I hauled an old dresser home, converted it to an entertainment stand for my living room, hauled it into my house, and set it all up. I did it all myself without help from a group of beer-drinking friends.

There are occasional times when I need help from people, and I usually pick one of the women I keep in contact with. They're on my doorstep when they say they'll be there, help out with whatever I need, and I'll make them dinner as a thank you.

And I don't give a fvck who comes to my funeral because I'll be dead.

 

[amoka]

I disagree. Humans are generally selfish and will use others as much as possible for free service. I find this is common amongst my male friends. I do 5hit for them, and they generally do nothing in return.

So what you are saying is your friends know how to use you for services but you don't know how to use them. They sound like winners to me.

 

[Tenacity]

I tend to agree with Desdinova on this, but this is a great discussion guys and I appreciate all of the comments!

I'm just coming to the realization that hell, I'm different. I'm completely and utterly different. Since the age of 25-26 I have been obessed with learning business, completing degrees, working on being the BEST MAN I can be, etc. That right there makes me different than 90% of the country because most people are overweight, with financial problems, have no life direction/vision, etc.

The realization of just how Alone I am is just that, I'm completely and utterly Alone because I believe I was born in the WRONG Generation. I have an old man's soul, the soul of a man that should have been born around 1960.

A lot of the new age shyt I never fit into, never understood, always thought was stupid, and just decided to "go my own way".

It's just the only part that bothers me is that I know the truth of my situation, but most times the truth isn't the truth at all....the truth is what people BELIEVE the truth to be. And I do wonder what type of legacy I will leave, especially seeing as though I'm not going to make children nor get married. But at the same time, I will be dead anyway, and despite my best efforts to "kiss a.ss" or have as many "friends" as possible....who the hell knows what these people will truly THINK of me when I'm laying down in a casket anyway?

I have a partial Will already drafted, it states that I won't have a funeral. If I'm young enough my organs can be donated. My wealth that I have amassed will be given to particular Non Profits that will continue to fight for causes I deemed great.

I think I need to just stop "fighting" reality and embrace it. And the reality is, I'm not like 90% of people and that's a GOOD thing.

I mentioned my family earlier, well understand, I was the first (and still am the only) to graduate college period. I was the first (and only) to go onto graduate Graduate School out of my family and get a Master's degree as well. I got to the Middle Class at age 26-27, this was 6 to 7 years before my Mother got to the lower middle class and she had freaking General Motors to help her. I had to damn near start my own business from scratch! My family is mostly living paycheck to paycheck, or on welfare, with kids they can't afford.

So I'm Alone, I'll die Alone...but you know what? I'm okay with it now.

 

[Desdinova]

So what you are saying is your friends know how to use you for services but you don't know how to use them. They sound like winners to me.

I honestly don't believe it's in a man's nature to do favours for other men in hope to get favours in return (unless they're blood relatives). I keep seeing men fall flat in this area of life. Women on the other hand are more compelled to do it. They remember the 5hit you did for them and they feel indebted to you for it.

 

[amoka]

I honestly don't believe it's in a man's nature to do favours for other men in hope to get favours in return (unless they're blood relatives). I keep seeing men fall flat in this area of life. Women on the other hand are more compelled to do it. They remember the 5hit you did for them and they feel indebted to you for it.

It is one thing to not need favors from anybody and feel you can do it all alone. It is another when you DO NEED favors but have no one to tend to. I believe if you find yourself in the second category, you have an issue.

 

[Tenacity]

It is one thing to not need favors from anybody and feel you can do it all alone. It is another when you DO NEED favors but have no one to tend to. I believe if you find yourself in the second category, you have an issue.

Amoka you make a good observation, but if what you are saying is true, then wouldn't MC Hammer's situation have turned out differently? You know MC Hammer blew up big and literally HELPED everyone else out around him. He did it so much that it sent him to bankruptcy and all of those people who were there with him during the "good times", were not there for him during the bad times.

 

[Desdinova]

I wouldn't exactly call it an "issue", but perhaps a problem. I keep getting shown that humans (especially men) are not incredibly reliable unless the person they're dealing with is an attractive woman. Some bytch needs her tire changed and the guy's on her doorstep, but in the meantime he's abandoning the friend who needs help holding up drywall to refinish his living room.

Women will return favours no matter what the person's sex is. They're the ones who advocate the whole "pass it forward" concept. Being indebted to someone makes them feel obligated to return a favour. Seeing someone in need makes them feel obligated to be the good person and help out. That's why women are huge advocates for pet rescues and feeding the homeless.

Men primarily have the need to look after their own 5hit first, and indulge in their own pleasure first, whereas women will drop what they're doing because their emotions have shifted due to someone in need.

 

[amoka]

All

Amoka you make a good observation, but if what you are saying is true, then wouldn't MC Hammer's situation have turned out differently? You know MC Hammer blew up big and literally HELPED everyone else out around him. He did it so much that it sent him to bankruptcy and all of those people who were there with him during the "good times", were not there for him during the bad times.

All I am saying is that if you have a friend that relies on you for help and you can't rely on that person when you need one, he/she is not your friend. Get a new friend. There are plenty of people in this world that would take advantage of you if you let them.

 

[Tenacity]

All

All I am saying is that if you have a friend that relies on you for help and you can't rely on that person when you need one, he/she is not your friend. Get a new friend. There are plenty of people in this world that would take advantage of you if you let them.

I 100% agree. It's just that in my experience, 98.5% of the people I have had around me in LARGE numbers, I could not depend on if I needed an Advil and a glass of water bought to me.

In my late teens - early 20's, I was focused on having as many people around me as possible. When I started to get more serious about life around age 23 - 24, a lot of these people just started falling off. When I was going through extreme financial problems at 25, NONE of these people were there except a couple people and they were still wishy washy.

I guess what I'm saying is that it comes back to another debate I have on here with other guys, about "the market". When a guy gets up and says THE MARKET is bad, some guys like to refer that individual to a mirror to examine what he might be doing wrong as he's the only "constant". But sometimes, it's not YOU that's doing anything wrong at all, you are just a victim (literally) of a bad market.

And I think that just like the market of women in terms of loyalty is very low quality, I think in terms of guy friends, it might be worse like Des was talking about. I can't tell you how when I would be out with a group of guys, how the moment CHICKS come around, the motafvckers would start trying to AMOG you. I just think that's stupid as all it takes is a random piece of pvssy (that you haven't even got yet) to cause you to turn your back on your "boy".

 

[MatureDJ]

Yes, I'm trying to get them to give me the pain killer prescription ahead of time, they gave me the xanax but said they "prefer" the pain killers be prescribed after the appointment?

I'm most likely going to use the Home Healthcare Aides. But I mean, if I'm honest with you guys, it's just this entire thing just made me depressed.

It's just realizing that you just don't have any REAL "family" or REAL "friendships", and you can't really pinpoint what the reason is? Like if I pissed a bunch of people off that's one thing, if I was unattractive, that's another thing.

The only thing I get from women is sex and dates, and some companionship, I never had a chick "be there for me"....if you know what I mean?

I don't have any supposed family around me, and I never HEAR from them. The only time I hear from them is when I call back up there and the entire conversation is just them gossiping about other family members over there, it's never inquired about where I've been, what I'm doing, etc. I've left "home" almost 10 years now, my Mother has never (and I mean never) asked me what my address is, was, visited, asked to visit, anything. When I talk to my Mother she just sits on the phone gossiping about the other family members....

I don't know why I'm so ALONE, but I do know that it's easy to be "Red Pill" when you really don't have a "Blue Pill" Foundation in the first place.

I mean here I am and other guys like me, telling guys not to be so "Blue Pill" when those Blue Pill guys have family and FRIENDS who care about them. When guys like me....have nobody who cares at all.

It's almost like, sometimes, I wish I was Blue Pill. Because even though I would be a "victim" to the bullshyt, at least I wouldn't be ALONE and I would have some type of real family foundation.

When I moved away from my hometown to SoCAL, I was in the same situation, although I worked at a big company and had a lot of work acquaintances, and I was able to get someone to help me move; doing what you describe here would have been tougher because of having to take off work. Look, if your oral surgeon can't handle the situation, get another one, and get the pain Rx filled out ahead of time.

About your mother not being so interested, I wouldn't get so concerned; she might just deal with you being away by not getting so involved. However, you seem to be needy, which is a concern. If you can't handle not having someone around, you should just give up and marry some fat chick; this is the main reason why so many in the military have fat wives.