Realizing Just How "Alone" I Am

[Tenacity]

So I have to get some upper wisdom teeth removed. Went to the consultation today and it all went well, that is, until they told me that in order to do the procedure I need to have someone "reliable" to:

- Drive me there

- Sit through the procedure

- Take instructions down during the recovery (when I wake up)

- Drive me to get the pain meds filled

- Drive me back home

And you know what I realized? I don't have anybody reliable for this. All of my personal/social contacts I can't really call on to do something like this in a reliable fashion.

And it hit me on just how ALONE I am. I wonder are any of you guys ALONE like this? I never actually sat back and thought about it, I'm always focused on the next goal, work, etc.

I can obviously ask a myriad of people to do this, but I can't really "rely" on any of them to stick through with it and obviously I'm not trying to pay $100 plus for a "no show" fee.

I have to call one of these Home Health Aide people because they are the only ones I know of that would be totally reliable with this to show up on time, sit there, take me back, etc. And it just got me thinking, I'm literally in this WORLD by myself. A sea of women in my phone, a sea of new dates, a ton of business associates, but I'm still ALONE.

 

[Married Buried]

Use a taxi. If the Dr office have a problem with them not waiting through the procedure tell them to f/ck off. You are the boss not them. I would only have 1 person for this my gf.

 

[Tenacity]

I was going to use a Taxi, but they told me I can't use a Taxi.

And that's the thing, I'm not in committed relationships with any of the plates I have. I've had some of them say they would do it, however, there's a "but" on the end such as it depends on her work schedule, etc. I don't know if I would rely on them for this, I would end up paying the $100 no show fee due to them smh.

 

[Married Buried]

I was going to use a Taxi, but they told me I can't use a Taxi.

And that's the thing, I'm not in committed relationships with any of the plates I have. I've had some of them say they would do it, however, there's a "but" on the end such as it depends on her work schedule, etc. I don't know if I would rely on them for this, I would end up paying the $100 no show fee due to them smh.

Use the taxi anyway, tell them you had no choice. If they still b!tch tell the Dr. to give you a ride. I wouldn't pay their stupid fee or listen to their stupid rules.

 

[Billtx49]

Get the pain script from Dr filled ahead of time and use taxi. A decent Dr should have printed hand outs for patient after care instructions.

 

[Tenacity]

Yes, I'm trying to get them to give me the pain killer prescription ahead of time, they gave me the xanax but said they "prefer" the pain killers be prescribed after the appointment?

I'm most likely going to use the Home Healthcare Aides. But I mean, if I'm honest with you guys, it's just this entire thing just made me depressed.

It's just realizing that you just don't have any REAL "family" or REAL "friendships", and you can't really pinpoint what the reason is? Like if I pissed a bunch of people off that's one thing, if I was unattractive, that's another thing.

The only thing I get from women is sex and dates, and some companionship, I never had a chick "be there for me"....if you know what I mean?

I don't have any supposed family around me, and I never HEAR from them. The only time I hear from them is when I call back up there and the entire conversation is just them gossiping about other family members over there, it's never inquired about where I've been, what I'm doing, etc. I've left "home" almost 10 years now, my Mother has never (and I mean never) asked me what my address is, was, visited, asked to visit, anything. When I talk to my Mother she just sits on the phone gossiping about the other family members....

I don't know why I'm so ALONE, but I do know that it's easy to be "Red Pill" when you really don't have a "Blue Pill" Foundation in the first place.

I mean here I am and other guys like me, telling guys not to be so "Blue Pill" when those Blue Pill guys have family and FRIENDS who care about them. When guys like me....have nobody who cares at all.

It's almost like, sometimes, I wish I was Blue Pill. Because even though I would be a "victim" to the bullshyt, at least I wouldn't be ALONE and I would have some type of real family foundation.

 

[Married Buried]

I like being alone. All I need is a hot woman. I don't need friends. They bug me all the time and want sh!t from me and then they start player hating so they are really your enemies.

 

[Spinach]

The bigger question is why are you so alone? Maybe your attitude towards women and life in general is catching up. Not a bad thing....just an observation. Good luck.

 

[Tenacity]

The bigger question is why are you so alone? Maybe your attitude towards women and life in general is catching up. Not a bad thing....just an observation. Good luck.

I honestly don't know.

The women I "game" don't do shyt for me. They will fvck me, go on dates, hang out, that's it. If I needed a glass of water, they wouldn't pour me one. Why is that? I don't know.

My birth family doesn't communicate with me UNLESS I communicate with them, why is that? I don't know.

I guess it is what it is, the only thing I can control is focusing on my goals and that's why my life is mainly focused on achieving them. I only get depressed by this stuff when I'm FORCED to sit down and look at it, like I was today.

All I know is that joining "out of the mainstream" movements like the Red Pill Movement, is very easy for someone like me to do because it's not like I had a Blue Pill Foundation to leave behind.

But again, if I'm being honest with myself, I would give up all of this Red Pill shyt tomorrow if I had a solid Blue Pill Family Foundation. It's almost like sometimes being FREE is problematic.

I graduated college four times (literally, four times), nobody in my family said shyt about it.

 

[Spinach]

I found out along time ago you cant pick or change your family. But you can change you. You seem goal oriented: why not make one of your goals to moderate your red pill philosophy a bit. Oh sure some dumb a** on this or some other forum will spout the beta crap but who really cares. If you aren't happy with your life then you need to change what your doing or thinking to make a difference in how people perceive you. I note you talk about being successfully financially. Let me tell you money isn't crap if you don't have someone to share its benefits. You have a long life ahead of you. Start changing it so you attract people you can trust and who can trust you. Or not. The choice really is yours. Sometimes we get so ego involved in being "Alpha" that life goes by and you end up as you say very alone. I think the Red Pill is used as a shield to protect us from being hurt. Hate to tell you if you live life being hurt is part of being human. Ok. Done with my beta rant. Take care of yourself.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Why don't you have non-female friends? I've had to have people take me to the doc and back, and it never occurred to me to ask a female (either friend or dating). I'd always chosen a guy friend.

Places I've met guy friends:

school
work
clubs (toastmasters, etc)
friends of friends

I've been a few tight spots in my life, and I've ALWAYS turned to my closest guy friends for help. Rarely family and NEVER girls.

 

[Tenacity]

Spinach,

Overall, you are 100% correct, it's just that I don't know how to implement what you are saying right now?

- All I know how to do is "attract" women and eventually get them to fvck. How do I make a woman want to do some of these other things such as be loyal, supportive, there for me when I need someone to drive me to wisdom teeth extraction appointments, etc?

I guess I'm saying, what if you have already DONE what you can do make "changes" but this is the BEST you are getting? What else would I work on is the question?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Tenacity, Once upon a time I came to the same realization. I was shocked to discover I was alone in the world, by and large.

I had to do some serious soul-searching in order to discover why. For me, it was a safety mechanism. No risk, no reward, but safety. Of course it's a false safety because having friends can really cushion us when problems arise.

I decided that friendships are a garden that I must tend and cultivate. I need to plant the seeds, fertilize the soil, do the weeding and actively protect the garden.

The key word for me was "cultivation". I decided to make my friendships my responsibility, realizing that they will tend to shrivel up without my actively taking care of them.

Women are disposable, ethereal and hugely undependable entities. But friends and family can be cultivated, even when one seemingly has nobody. I found that giving selflessly is the key to forging friendships and is good for a man's soul. You've made the realization, which is in fact a massively important enlightenment. You can only go up from here. If one thinks in terms of giving (with no expectation of return), and actively cultivating relationships, people start coming into one's life. It's up to us to keep them there by providing value to them.

 

[Spinach]

I have no magic. Just years. It depends on the kind of people, women, you strive to have in your life. I hear a lot of verbage regarding HB this or HB that....sure most guys when given the choice will gravitate to good bodies or pretty face. But you know sometimes we (guys) have to start looking past the packaging and into what kind of person a woman is in relationship to your life goals. I can tell you that some of those women that wouldn't be given a second glance are the ones that will BE THERE when you need them. Not trying to start a debate about the pros and cons of quality women, but if you are looking to OLD or the club scene for someone you can count on to be there, you my friend are looking in the wrong place. These women have no reason to be loyal. Maybe its about respect, don't know, but if you start looking at the female gender as something more than a walking vagina perhaps you will start attracting a woman who may not be the best looking, or have the nicest body, but would do anything for you. Not all women are evil. Trust me on this. Guess I ramble and am not quite sure how to communicate what I am trying to convey, but if you keep doing what you are doing you are going to get what you've got. Start thinking about how people perceive you and what impression you want to leave. Maybe that is a starting point.

 

[guru1000]

If one thinks in terms of giving (with no expectation of return) ...

You're an evolved soul Atom.

 

[zonn]

Have you no family like mother, father, brother or sister?

 

[Slickster]

Tenacity, Once upon a time I came to the same realization. I was shocked to discover I was alone in the world, by and large.

I had to do some serious soul-searching in order to discover why. For me, it was a safety mechanism. No risk, no reward, but safety. Of course it's a false safety because having friends can really cushion us when problems arise.

I decided that friendships are a garden that I must tend and cultivate. I need to plant the seeds, fertilize the soil, do the weeding and actively protect the garden.

The key word for me was "cultivation". I decided to make my friendships my responsibility, realizing that they will tend to shrivel up without my actively taking care of them.

Women are disposable, ethereal and hugely undependable entities. But friends and family can be cultivated, even when one seemingly has nobody. I found that giving selflessly is the key to forging friendships and is good for a man's soul. You've made the realization, which is in fact a massively important enlightenment. You can only go up from here. If one thinks in terms of giving (with no expectation of return), and actively cultivating relationships, people start coming into one's life. It's up to us to keep them there by providing value to them.

This a great post right here.

Tenacity you generally "get what you give" out of life. A guy I know once had a similar talk with me. He was complaining that he had no real friends or anyone who really cared about him. So I started asking hard questions and we came the conclusion that he didn't give a fvck about anyone except himself. There wasn't a single person family or friends that he gave a sh!t about. Funny how that works.

I would't get too caught up in labelling red pill vs. blue pill. That's just BS and has nothing to do with any loneliness you are feeling. Reread Atom's post over and over. The answers are there. I'd start with family and branch out from there.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have no magic. Just years. It depends on the kind of people, women, you strive to have in your life. I hear a lot of verbage regarding HB this or HB that....sure most guys when given the choice will gravitate to good bodies or pretty face. But you know sometimes we (guys) have to start looking past the packaging and into what kind of person a woman is in relationship to your life goals. I can tell you that some of those women that wouldn't be given a second glance are the ones that will BE THERE when you need them. Not trying to start a debate about the pros and cons of quality women, but if you are looking to OLD or the club scene for someone you can count on to be there, you my friend are looking in the wrong place. These women have no reason to be loyal. Maybe its about respect, don't know, but if you start looking at the female gender as something more than a walking vagina perhaps you will start attracting a woman who may not be the best looking, or have the nicest body, but would do anything for you. Not all women are evil. Trust me on this. Guess I ramble and am not quite sure how to communicate what I am trying to convey, but if you keep doing what you are doing you are going to get what you've got. Start thinking about how people perceive you and what impression you want to leave. Maybe that is a starting point.

This guy is right. The ones you count on will not spend 90% of their time and resources on having the most awesome appearance.

You can always get a "wholesome" 6 or 7 who stimulates your mind and intellect, and get her in the gym with you.

She will look good, and she will be good inside and out. And that's the kind of stuff that makes a man feel like a man.

 

[Tenacity]

You guys are 100% right. You see my post here http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=228434 pretty much explains the issue.

I'm not innocent in this situation, matter of fact, I might be more guilty than I'm giving myself credit for.

- When it comes to women and relationships, I pretty much have NOT been giving a fvck to build up any real, meaningful, relationship with them. I honestly just been wanting to fvck and just keep them on the side for whenever I want to be "bothered" with them.

- I had guy friends, but ignored all of them and pushed them away. Why? I don't know.

- All of the guy "friends" I have now are mainly business associates, which aren't "friends" per say.

I've been mainly focused on my self-improvement aspects that I pretty much put the social related things on the back burner. I honestly DO NOT believe I have spent a good amount of time investing in building those relationships.

Furthermore, I do realize that not every relationship can be built, some people are just full of shyt. But I do KNOW for sure, that I have been pushing people away deliberately over the last couple of years.

I'm going to make some life adjustments and spend more time building up my relationships, rather than just pretty much not giving that much of a "fvck" about them.

The situation with the family is real though, but I'm going to put more effort into it and maybe see if I can make something out of it.

Also the situation with women mainly being sex/companionship is real as well, but if I'm being honest, not EVERY SINGLE CHICK has been like that. I've had chicks that were trying to be MORE in my life, but for whatever reason (I didn't like their looks enough, etc.) I just pushed them away deliberately.

 

[Desdinova]

And it hit me on just how ALONE I am. I wonder are any of you guys ALONE like this? I never actually sat back and thought about it, I'm always focused on the next goal, work, etc.

I realize how alone I actually am. I have friends, but I'm a bit hard pressed to call them reliable and dependable. Very few of them have a vehicle. The people I generally rely on are the women who are in my vicinity at the time, and there's usually a couple of them.

Last year, I acquired myself a new couch and chair for my living room. The problem was that I needed to move them myself. I couldn't think of anyone to come help me, so I did it all myself. A little innovation and creativity, and I got that fvcking couch into my house without killing myself.

With regards to taking a taxi home after wisdom teeth removal, I'm not even sure you can do that. Your brain is kind of mushy when you wake up. I barely remember anything after I had mine out. It was my ex-wife who drove me home after that. I'm honestly surprised she had the time to do it. Two months after that, I ended my marriage.

I've sat down and analyzed the reasons why I'm so damn alone. I've boiled it down to the fact that I'm very different from most people. I have very unique interests that most people cannot relate to, therefore I have little in common with the average person. The great thing about women is they're very adaptable to whatever I'm interested in, so that's why I generally have a few female orbiters hanging around. Not only that, many of them have cars.

I came to the realization that I thrive very well on my own. I've been doing it all my life. There were times when I used to beat myself up for being alone so much until I realized how incredibly self-sufficient and self-reliant I am. They're really good qualities to have.

The best thing you can do (which is what I've been doing for years) is to build up a circle of regulars you see that are associated with some sort of hobby. That's where most of my "friends" come from. I've got a whole bunch of people I can approach if I need help with something. Usually if I ask for help, about five people will offer their assistance. It's not exactly the same as having one or two constant friendships in life, but it works just as well. You just need to keep up your appearances and make new friends all the time, regardless of how temporary they may be.

Keeping one chick (with a car) around all the time is probably the best thing you can do. It doesn't matter if she's attractive or if you're fvcking her, she's going to be there. If she fizzles out because you don't want to fvck her, just find another one. My life has a very high turnover of "friends" popping in and out of my life. This is how I came to the realization that I have very little in common with the average person. My hobbies come to light, and nobody takes an interest except for the chicks who take interest because they see my passion, and they want a romp in the sack with me.

Don't take it so hard. It's not all bad being alone. Just put a system in place that makes it work for you. Once you accept that you do pretty well on your own, you can adapt to the idea and make it work.