Jair213
Master Don Juan
wow. legendary
Bump for awesomeness.jophil28 said:Update- HB calls me an hour ago (after about a dozen texts from her which I ignored) and I pick up.
Since the restaurant drama, I have had about 40 hours to think it through.
MY Mil training kicked in and i was indeed prepared for a counter assault. The second assault is a tougher battle because both sides know about the other's strengths,weaknesses and resources..
Here is the abbreviated version of our convo..
HB, "Jophil I know that you are upset...can we talk ?"
Jophil," About what ?" ( I draw her out into the open)
HB, " That suggestion that I needed three other men was just an idea that Leanne floated past me. WE were not really serious."
Jophil," Look I am due to be someplace else in a half hour but I thought about your suggestion and I think that it is a great idea. "
HB, " HUH ! "
Jophil, " Next time you talk to Leanne, thank her for giving me a great idea. I plan to find another three women to fulfil all my needs. I have alloted you the 'sex slave' position. Gotta run...."
Click.
Atom Smasher said:Bizzle, Jophil can't answer you because he died of an illness a few years ago. This is an old thread.
However, your question is valid and worthy of discussion. This is far from a comprehensive answer, but in any relationship you need to lay the groundwork where she fears losing you and where she considers you to posses higher value than her. As soon as that dynamic flips, the relationship must go downhill. The death knell of a relationship is when the man gets comfortable and lazy. He starts acting too nice and accommodating, and she loses respect for him. Stick around here and you'll learn the nuances of this.
There's nothing wrong with being nice, but it must be carefully balanced with being distant, mysterious, and the unquestioned authority in the relationship. The "niceness" becomes the reward for good behavior and therefore is a tool by which a man can align her behavior with your expectations.
A woman can only be truly attracted to a man who she considers to possess higher value than herself. That desire continues as a relationship grows.
Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
I recall telling a former girlfriend (who at the time had survived cancer) that if I had a fatal illness that I wouldn't tell anyone. She asked why and I said because I wouldn't want anyone to treat me any differently or delicately. I would want my remaining months to be treated as "business as usual."Yup. He and I used to write to each other at least 3 to 4 times a week and he never even told me he was sick.
Yes it was tough. Now that I think of it I think I was vaguely aware that he was going through some kind of illness, but we never directly talked about it. He was a genuinely great guy.Atom Smasher, I can imagine that this was a bit difficult for you.
Jophil responded to (I believe) my first posting here on sosuave. I never got to know him as you, but I really respected his thoughts and approach.
I can understand that she needs one from the front and one from behind, but what about the other two?Here is the short version of a recent 'event' -
Been dating HB7 for a while now - almost a year. Good woman, conventional morals, mainly respectful but a tad avoidant and passive. She thinks that I am a "loveable assh0le" - perfect !
Anyways she tells me a month ago that she "needs to see someone" about her relationship with her overbearing sister and some unfinished business with her Dad.
SO she goes to the Business Pages and finds a clinical psychologist who agrees to see her. Lets call the psych Leanne. Leanne apparently is a feminist and a liberal. My spidey senses go on alert.
HB attends two sessions and hits the booze for an hour or so directly after each session.
I am seeing yellow flags waving. She also mentioned that her relationship with me is of particular interest to Leanne.
Two days ago she attended her third session.
We go out to eat afterwards and she says, " Jophil, Leanne said that I might need up to FOUR men in my life to fully meet my needs."
MY alarm bells ring loudly so I politely excuse myself and take a trip to the bathroom.
So I quickly figure it out. She has turned her sessions with Leanne into a bytche fest and Leanne is contaminating the interaction with her own agenda.. Another dimwitted counselor forcing one of her faddish ideas into the mind of a vulnerable client.
Back in the day before I joined SS , I would have asked HB to explain in detail what is going on with Leanne . I would have debated every tiny sliver of information about what 'advice' Leanne is stuffing into HB . I would have tried to 'reason' with HB and assure her that what liberal Leanne is proposing is some fashionable crap from the loonie left of feminism.
In effect, Leanne was telling HB that she is 'the Prize' and that her relationship needs are so extensive and so exquisite that one mere male (me) could not possibly satisfy them all. Therefore, HB should seek other men to 'attend ' to her as well .
So I return to my seat across the table from HB and say," HB, so Leanne suggest that you might need three other men to fulfil you and satisfy all your needs? "
HB," Yes. that is what she suggested that I look at."
Jophil," So you will have vacancies for three other men."
HB, " Err, I guess. "
Jophil (stands up ), " You have that number all wrong - you have FOUR vacancies now."
The look on her face was priceless. Eyes as big as as dinner plates and a jaw drop that almost wrecked her dental work.
I walked to my car and drove away. The first thing I thought of was this forum.
MY phone is melting down with incoming from her.
I expect a visit from HB any time now.
One for each hand.I can understand that she needs one from the front and one from behind, but what about the other two?
I was thinking one for each ear or nostril.One for each hand.