Why do I keep getting rejected by women so much?

[visions]

I don't have a lot of cities to compare firsthand, but it is hard to believe anything other than Toronto being one of the worst or THE worst period.

Toronto is the online dating capital of North America statistically and second IN THE WORLD. The only city in the WORLD with more people online dating per capita is London, England. So think about that.

Why are there so many singles here? At the very least, the ridiculous level to which women are picky here in terms of looks plays a role. Everyone with half a brain knows that women are the choosers and in effect control the dating dynamics.

If there are a lot of singles, look to the women to find out why.

all these references to toronto's dating culture is scary. i was there a few years ago and i liked it as a city. it seemed like a future american city in that there were less apparent social distinctions.

on a side note, i opened a friendly brazilian while walking down a street there.
but she was brazilian.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

all these references to toronto's dating culture is scary. i was there a few years ago and i liked it as a city. it seemed like a future american city in that there were less apparent social distinctions.

on a side note, i opened a friendly brazilian while walking down a street there.
but she was brazilian.

Yeah don't make the mistake others make. They come here young and on a vacation with no worries other than partying. Of course they have a great time. They maybe have drunken makeouts at some house parties or whatever.

Living here is a COMPLETELY different story. When you live in Toronto day in and day out and witness FIRSTHAND how many women go out of their way to avoid eye contact with you, you will realize why it is so hard to meet girls here.

I bet the Brazilian had not been in Toronto for too long and for sure didn't grow up here. The most friendly and open girls that I ever met/dated in Toronto were from another city or country.

It is like there is an antisocial virus in Toronto. Live here too long and the girls want nothing to do with you. They would rather makeout with each other and grope each other at clubs than give you the time of day.

 

[visions]

Yeah don't make the mistake others make. They come here young and on a vacation with no worries other than partying. Of course they have a great time. They maybe have drunken makeouts at some house parties or whatever.

Living here is a COMPLETELY different story. When you live in Toronto day in and day out and witness FIRSTHAND how many women go out of their way to avoid eye contact with you, you will realize why it is so hard to meet girls here.

I bet the Brazilian had not been in Toronto for too long and for sure didn't grow up here. The most friendly and open girls that I ever met/dated in Toronto were from another city or country.

It is like there is an antisocial virus in Toronto. Live here too long and the girls want nothing to do with you. They would rather makeout with each other and grope each other at clubs than give you the time of day.

what a bummer... i thought d.c. was bad
the brazilian was visiting-you're right.
how are the spots where the internationals hang out?
...it seems like many puas (roosh, krauser) avoid "western" (and especially "western white" females) because of uppityness

 

[corrector]

Yeah don't make the mistake others make. They come here young and on a vacation with no worries other than partying. Of course they have a great time. They maybe have drunken makeouts at some house parties or whatever.

Living here is a COMPLETELY different story. When you live in Toronto day in and day out and witness FIRSTHAND how many women go out of their way to avoid eye contact with you, you will realize why it is so hard to meet girls here.

I bet the Brazilian had not been in Toronto for too long and for sure didn't grow up here. The most friendly and open girls that I ever met/dated in Toronto were from another city or country.

It is like there is an antisocial virus in Toronto. Live here too long and the girls want nothing to do with you. They would rather makeout with each other and grope each other at clubs than give you the time of day.

If you can spot out foreigners, like some other guy I've read played that game in Toronto then you should be able to get some tail. You have to look for people who look lost, that are reading a map, or look like they are on vacation there.

But yeah, you've got the eye-contact thing and you got the cell phone text thing that pretty much make most women socially unavailable. The women have their own circle of friends or cliques and it's like they have to go outside of their comfort zone to deal with you. In GYMs you have the headphone. If you are looking for IOI's before you approach, have fun going home and masturbating at porn unless you really have good looks.

But where the OP is from is probably not very much better than here. But if the OP were from here, then I'd advise him to go to another city (i.e. rather than the Domenican Republics like I did, lol!)

 

[foreverAFC]

None of the suggestions posted here will work because losing weight, going on a diet will not change the fact that while he is not bad looking, he doesn't look "sure" of himself and that comes right through his eyes.

I have the same problem the OP does. This is not a race thing. If you were to post a pic like that on an online dating profile you'll run chicks away. The problem is "rejection" from women creates a negative feedback loop, and because you are not treated like a normal guy, it comes across on the face as that is what you expect in interactions with them. It's really a vicious cycle.

Also the problem is most women are attracted to how a face looks. If you have a pretty face, then it doesn't matter if you are skinny or fat, you just have the face that chicks dig. He should have got some action by now.

This advice here is just false hope because it will not change the face that screams insecurity. You'd have to find a stop-gap solution to fix the negative feedback loop so you won't seem as insecure of yourself. I hope people on here can advise you how to do that since I'd also be interested to see if there is some real advice for that "insecure" look. It becomes a catch-22 because unless you actually experience success then that look comes out, which bars one from experiencing success in the first place.

The solution is probably social proof. If you have attractive cousins, sister, or some girl that knows you, and be seen around with them, maybe that can help?

The other aspect is what is this guy doing that women are flaking on him or are not replying to him. That has to do with "game" as opposed to looks since nobody would be taking him on in the first place if his looks were that bad. Perhaps people should go into the interactions from start to finish with his prospects and see why they flaked or failed to reply, and what vibes he was giving off in his correspondence. Also, if he's just looking to get laid, where exactly is he looking for that?

great post, i think i suffer from this as well, and wasnt even really aware of this, women can tell something is off

ive spent a decade or so lifting weights and doing martial arts in order to completely change myself, but im still pretty dead on the inside after all this time, and i have no self worth, and there is no way to fake that stuff away

 

[plate's_empty]

great post, i think i suffer from this as well, and wasnt even really aware of this, women can tell something is off

ive spent a decade or so lifting weights and doing martial arts in order to completely change myself, but im still pretty dead on the inside after all this time, and i have no self worth, and there is no way to fake that stuff away

It's hard to fake Not being down. Even if you "feel" all right, if down deep, you know ****'s not good, it shows. I've tried drinking it away but that only works to an extent. Dig deep, know that some things are out of your control, roll with the punches....and one day, know, that you'll be able to stop rolling. Do what's right, improve yourself where you can.....and smile in the face of adversary. Fck em. Smile.

 

[SJ413]

Alright,

I'm not a player like most of these guys, I don't pick up women like crazy, I've got too much going on. I'll nonchalantly screw with talking to two, on occasion three women at a time. I live in a rual area, and I know, it sucks. The advantages of living in a rual area are too nice to leave, and I rather enjoy my job, friends, and surroundings.

You are a bit heavy at 210, not fat like most of these guys are telling ya, folks with a naturally small frame don't understand. Hell, I've been fat before, bit my chest has always been broader than my waist. Im 5'10" and 185, I was 210 six months ago, my third shift job and new sleeping habits helped my wieght loss and workout tons. Now, I'm no supermodel, bit I'm in the top 20% locally (with any kind of job or future of any kind that is) as far as looks go.

Just a different thought than most guys here are gonna tell ya. Hell, I weighed in at 190 for my hieght and got told I was borderline obeese, I almost punched the arsehole for it.

 

[cordoncordon]

Alright,

I'm not a player like most of these guys, I don't pick up women like crazy, I've got too much going on. I'll nonchalantly screw with talking to two, on occasion three women at a time. I live in a rual area, and I know, it sucks. The advantages of living in a rual area are too nice to leave, and I rather enjoy my job, friends, and surroundings.

You are a bit heavy at 210, not fat like most of these guys are telling ya, folks with a naturally small frame don't understand. Hell, I've been fat before, bit my chest has always been broader than my waist. Im 5'10" and 185, I was 210 six months ago, my third shift job and new sleeping habits helped my wieght loss and workout tons. Now, I'm no supermodel, bit I'm in the top 20% locally (with any kind of job or future of any kind that is) as far as looks go.

Just a different thought than most guys here are gonna tell ya. Hell, I weighed in at 190 for my hieght and got told I was borderline obeese, I almost punched the arsehole for it.

He is pretty chubby, borderline fat imo.
OP the guy in the thread below reminds me a lot of you. I saw this the other day and thought of you. Look how much more aesthetic his face is when he lost all that weight. You should strive for this. You can do it.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=153130211

 

[SJ413]

He is pretty chubby, borderline fat imo.
OP the guy in the thread below reminds me a lot of you. I saw this the other day and thought of you. Look how much more aesthetic his face is when he lost all that weight. You should strive for this. You can do it.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=153130211

Nah, I agree, he could stand to loose a few, but just saying BMI(charts anyhow)=BS

And its really damn frustrating when you're told lose weight, lose weight, lose weight, even if it is true, I've been there, and am still working on it for that matter. You can do anything though, the possibilities are endless.

 

[twentee]

oh, bullshyte. Do you know what the difference in weight and muscle is made by small vs large frames? about 5 lousy lbs, dude. NOT 40 lbs. The best standards are the standing broadjump, the one-armed pushup, pistols, and the chinup. if you can't do at least 20 GOOD chinups, all the way up and all the way down, your upper body strength, relative to your body weight, sucks. Ditto if you can't do at least a FEW one armed pushups, with either arm. If you can't standing broadjump at LEAST 7 ft, your leg strength, relative to your body weight, sucks. Ditto if you can't stand on one leg, squat down on it, holding the other leg out in front of you, go all the way down, until your butt hits your heel, and stand back up, at least a few times, with either leg, your leg strength, relative to your body weight, sucks.

Try to swim at least an hour a day, or at the very least, sit/recline/lie for an hour a day on a plastic bag of ice, wrapped in a towel, in contact with your kidneys. You can drop 1-2 lbs per week with this ice bag trick, without having to change your diet/consumption. The swimming thing can get rid of 4 lbs per week. If you do the ice bag thing, gotta add some aerobics and general weight lifting or calesthenics, or you WILL lose at least SOME muscle mass, and some of it can be HEART muscle.

 

[JohnChops]

Nah, I agree, he could stand to loose a few, but just saying BMI(charts anyhow)=BS

And its really damn frustrating when you're told lose weight, lose weight, lose weight, even if it is true, I've been there, and am still working on it for that matter. You can do anything though, the possibilities are endless.

Lol my doctor tells me according to the BMI charts I am "Morbidly obese". Those charts dont take in account for muscle mass. Considering im nearing single diget body fat, currently 13 percent going into a cut, i think its funny im considered morbidly obese when I have ab definition and im told to lose weight.... fvcking mainstream idiots.

 

[Purefilth]

Lol my doctor tells me according to the BMI charts I am "Morbidly obese". Those charts dont take in account for muscle mass. Considering im nearing single diget body fat, currently 13 percent going into a cut, i think its funny im considered morbidly obese when I have ab definition and im told to lose weight.... fvcking mainstream idiots.

i was "overweight" 2 stone ago - But now 6'4" and 200lb I'm in fvcking great shape, when I was apparantly "overweight" - I was on the skinny side lean muscle though.

I swear these charts are made to account only for friggin girls!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Yes, it's common knowledge that the BMI scale doesn't account for muscle mass. So why wouldn't a doctor know this? I swear, their education seems to stop as soon a s they go into practice.

 

[zekko]

You are a bit heavy at 210, not fat like most of these guys are telling ya, folks with a naturally small frame don't understand. it.

Dude, the guy is fat, you can see it in his face. I mean, he's not going to have to be cut out of his house or anything like that. Not trying to rip on him, but let's face reality.

 

[DJDeMarco]

It's 2 years later and while I've made big improvements, I'm still not attracting the women I want. I've lost weight, down to 189, don't have a belly, and my head is shaved. I'm more confident with people and women in general and I feel like I'm the prize and if a woman doesn't understand that, I'll find another one. I'm able to control my nerves and emotions when talking to women.

The problem is I've made the improvements and act like a DJ, but I'm not anymore attractive it seems, than when I was heavier. I'm happy with my life, just not with the way it's gone with women.

Example: I'll see a cute girl and confidently smile and say Hi. She'll say Hi back, then I'll ask how she's doing, she answers but doesn't say much or seem attracted. And the cycle continues.

 

[skinnyguy]

Why are you not getting a girlfriend?

Because you're trying to get a girlfriend

 

[DJDeMarco]

Why are you not getting a girlfriend?

Because you're trying to get a girlfriend

Talk to girls like I'm not trying to get anything out of them and eventually they'll notice and be attracted?