Why do I keep getting rejected by women so much?

[corrector]

I'm working hard to improve all aspects of my life and I've read the DJ Bible too. I've made my thinking much more positive and talking to women is now much easier now that my anxiety levels are down. But, I get rejected so much and I hate it because it makes no sense to put the work in, believe in yourself, and then not get laid because of it.
I honestly believe I should've banged a few girls this year, but for one reason or another, I get rejected by them just not replying back or flaking. I don't think it's fair and I deserve better. Plus, I live in a rural area, so it's hard enough finding single women here anyways, which means I'm wading through so many taken women just to find a single woman. So, I'd like to find out what I'm doing wrong, as I've always had problems with women, but I try hard and I barely get results, just rejection. The thing is I believe I can get with these cute women, have no idea why it's not happening, as I'm awesome anyways.

Why not go after taken women to get laid then (i.e. those that have boyfriends, etc...), after all, that will increase your pool, and you are only looking to get laid anyway? Why would they have to be single? Some people on here only target taken women because they can get rid of them once they get laid.

So what is making these women reject me? I'm 5'9, 210(I'm not fat, muscular, but I'm working on losing a little weight). I want to just bang a lot of girls and not have serious relationships. No need for a girlfriend. I'm 24. I'm not afraid to cold approach, but I don't need to hit on every woman here. Attraction has always been tough for me.

If you do not want a serious relationship and have no need for a girlfriend then why would you want single woman if they are so far and few in between.

Maybe you are going too direct on them. Most relationships don't last that long anyway and you may be making women feel like slvts if you are too intentional about just getting laid.

Otherwise spray on some pheromones.

That said, I would like help on changing this around. Life's too short to be a success in everything but women. I want it all.

If you are a success in everything as you say then you can buy yourself out of that. You can go to the Domenican Republics or some other third world country and get laid left, right and center.

Desperate threads attract my attention for even more desperate advice...there is no end to desperate thinking, no end because misery likes company.

 

[Hydrak]

Working out won't change your world, just change your diet and drop some weight. Women prefer skinny guys over fat guys sexually, and ripped guys over bulked guys.

I got far better results as 210 lbs @ 6'2-6'3 than 220-230 lbs. Bishes got intimidated.

Also, change your attitude and be more manly. Wear some accessories (shades, rings, watch, necklace) to seem less bland. The worst thing I know is fat guys wearing t-shirts and jeans/shorts. I see you are balding, shave it or cover it up.

 

[BeDJ]

This is why people on here shouldn't give diet advice

Yes.

 

[Demonpenz]

Good thread. I love your guts. I am bigger as well and I am taking action and working on getting smaller. The sacrifice it takes is character building and it makes me a better man. I hope you take small steps day in and day out to show improvement. It is worth it and when you are the #1 player of all time you will be able to help someone else take action to get to their hopes and dreams.

 

[JoeMarron]

I agree with the other poster's comments on you not looking masculine enough. That pic doesn't look like a guy that's good with woman. Your looks haven't caught up with your game. Lose some weight and up your style and I bet your results will increase dramatically. Keep in mind that by simply going out and approaching you're doing better than most guys.

 

[corrector]

None of the suggestions posted here will work because losing weight, going on a diet will not change the fact that while he is not bad looking, he doesn't look "sure" of himself and that comes right through his eyes.

I have the same problem the OP does. This is not a race thing. If you were to post a pic like that on an online dating profile you'll run chicks away. The problem is "rejection" from women creates a negative feedback loop, and because you are not treated like a normal guy, it comes across on the face as that is what you expect in interactions with them. It's really a vicious cycle.

Also the problem is most women are attracted to how a face looks. If you have a pretty face, then it doesn't matter if you are skinny or fat, you just have the face that chicks dig. He should have got some action by now.

This advice here is just false hope because it will not change the face that screams insecurity. You'd have to find a stop-gap solution to fix the negative feedback loop so you won't seem as insecure of yourself. I hope people on here can advise you how to do that since I'd also be interested to see if there is some real advice for that "insecure" look. It becomes a catch-22 because unless you actually experience success then that look comes out, which bars one from experiencing success in the first place.

The solution is probably social proof. If you have attractive cousins, sister, or some girl that knows you, and be seen around with them, maybe that can help?

The other aspect is what is this guy doing that women are flaking on him or are not replying to him. That has to do with "game" as opposed to looks since nobody would be taking him on in the first place if his looks were that bad. Perhaps people should go into the interactions from start to finish with his prospects and see why they flaked or failed to reply, and what vibes he was giving off in his correspondence. Also, if he's just looking to get laid, where exactly is he looking for that?

 

[twentee]

u ARE fat, most likely, at 5 ft 9" and 209 lbs. U r probably about 40 lbs overweight, actually, unless you take steroids and LIVE at the gym. I'd say that it's highly likely that women perceive you as being "nothing much". Change that perception, drastically and soon, and you'll have more success.

 

[DJDeMarco]

None of the suggestions posted here will work because losing weight, going on a diet will not change the fact that while he is not bad looking, he doesn't look "sure" of himself and that comes right through his eyes.

I have the same problem the OP does. This is not a race thing. If you were to post a pic like that on an online dating profile you'll run chicks away. The problem is "rejection" from women creates a negative feedback loop, and because you are not treated like a normal guy, it comes across on the face as that is what you expect in interactions with them. It's really a vicious cycle.

Also the problem is most women are attracted to how a face looks. If you have a pretty face, then it doesn't matter if you are skinny or fat, you just have the face that chicks dig. He should have got some action by now.

This advice here is just false hope because it will not change the face that screams insecurity. You'd have to find a stop-gap solution to fix the negative feedback loop so you won't seem as insecure of yourself. I hope people on here can advise you how to do that since I'd also be interested to see if there is some real advice for that "insecure" look. It becomes a catch-22 because unless you actually experience success then that look comes out, which bars one from experiencing success in the first place.

The solution is probably social proof. If you have attractive cousins, sister, or some girl that knows you, and be seen around with them, maybe that can help?

The other aspect is what is this guy doing that women are flaking on him or are not replying to him. That has to do with "game" as opposed to looks since nobody would be taking him on in the first place if his looks were that bad. Perhaps people should go into the interactions from start to finish with his prospects and see why they flaked or failed to reply, and what vibes he was giving off in his correspondence. Also, if he's just looking to get laid, where exactly is he looking for that?

I had no idea I looked insecure as well. No wonder my POF profile has been a ton of deleted messages all this year. Sounds like I'm having to do a total 360 on my personality, thoughts, and everything just to start to get success with women, and that's not really fair, but I'll deal with it. What would I have to do to look more secure and sure of myself in the eyes then?
I've went out to a club with a couple friends before, but all they could tell me was "Relax, take some alcohol to relax, be yourself, and don't care", and that doesn't solve my problems. That's it for social proof. I can do that, but it hasn't helped. Seems like my problems run deeper than most.

 

[Atom Smasher]

"That's not really fair..."

What is this "fair" business? You've got to get that concept out of your vocabulary. This is something that women say, not men.

Is it "fair" that the peacock with the best colorings gets the girl? Is it "fair" that men are naturally the builders and rulers of the world (or at least are supposed to be)?

Nature is what it is. Align the forces of nature and leverage them to your advantage. There is no "fair". Fair is simply a female construct in their imaginary world of rainbows & unicorns. A man should never use the phrase, "It's not fair".

We accept that life is unjust, cold and heartless, and we overcome. You have a lot of raw material to work with, so get to work and forget entirely about the concept of "fair".

 

[DJDeMarco]

"That's not really fair..."

What is this "fair" business? You've got to get that concept out of your vocabulary. This is something that women say, not men.

Is it "fair" that the peacock with the best colorings gets the girl? Is it "fair" that men are naturally the builders and rulers of the world (or at least are supposed to be)?

Nature is what it is. Align the forces of nature and leverage them to your advantage. There is no "fair". Fair is simply a female construct in their imaginary world of rainbows & unicorns. A man should never use the phrase, "It's not fair".

We accept that life is unjust, cold and heartless, and we overcome. You have a lot of raw material to work with, so get to work and forget entirely about the concept of "fair".

Ok, understood. The reason I mentioned fair, is because my situation is equivalent to learning guitar for a few years and still not knowing how to do a C chord. No person could be satisfied with that. I'll get over it.

 

[cordoncordon]

Brah I am just going to be honest here. You are looking for answers for why girls keep rejecting you and why you don't get any play and I am going to give them to you. Don't take this personally. You can change.

1. You are overweight. For your height by at least 30 pounds. Your face looks like a round bowling ball. Not aesthetic at all. I'm 6 feet tall, lifts weights 5 days a week, cardio and yoga the others, and I'm around 205 now about to cut 15 pounds or so. So for you, at 5'9" ad 210 and who doesn't work out that much? Yeah, you are fat.

2. Your facial appearance, haircut, dress style is SO plain Jane average that you really should be the poster boy for Joe the plumber. You want to play multiple girls and get action whenever you want? No average to above average girls is going to give you the time of day looking like this. Sorry but it's the truth.

Now, what to do? One. Start working out HARD. Lift 3-5 days a week. Do cardio the others. Diet. For you I would recommend something like the Paleo diet. You need to gain muscle and lose FAT. I would get down to at least 180 if I were you. Cut cut cut. Not only will this improve your body, but your face will stop looking like a human bowling ball and your aesthetics will improve a lot.

In the mean time get a different haircut. For right now I would just buzz it all off. Hard to say what will look best on you until you lose that fat and your face changes. After that you can work on dressing better.

You aren't ugly, but you are so average right now that the hot girls will never date you. If you were a hot girl would you want to date you? Or someone that looked like you?

Read this, it includes a complete workout and diet guide. Do this for 6 months and then come back and we can go from there.

http://www.simplyshredded.com/exclusive-zyzz-interview.html

 

[corrector]

There are no secrets or magical formulas...social proof will not erase "insecurity." I have went to bars alone and have been able to collect phone numbers and occasionally take women home. There are plenty of guys who go to clubs with friends and wingwomen...all they're doing is masking their insecurity, thinking that their friends or wingwomen are gonna help close the deal for them.

What are you talking about? People talk about social proof as perceived value. That is if it looks like you are with an attractive girl and she looks like she's enjoying her time with you and you know each other then that will get attention.

No one here's gonna be able to give the "right" solution to attracting women. A guy just has to continue putting forth the effort and figure things out on his own.

Which is what he is being doing but he keeps getting rejected. If he gets tons of rejections on a POF profile and can't get a girl IRL then how would you direct that effort?

But, based on my own personal experience, I can tell you that ANYBODY who is willing to put forth the effort and endure (many) rejections will over time reach success.

You mean until ALL of the women reject you?

It's like anything else in life: outflow equals inflow. A guy who approaches 3 women a day will not reach success faster than the guy who is willing to approach 10 women in one day. The guy approaches more women more often has a much better chance of collecting more numbers and going on more dates and ultimately getting more lays.

Or has a bigger rejection rate if all 10 of them reject him as opposed to 3. Sooner or late you just have to cut bait or you end up like George Sodini.

 

[corrector]

I had no idea I looked insecure as well. No wonder my POF profile has been a ton of deleted messages all this year. Sounds like I'm having to do a total 360 on my personality, thoughts, and everything just to start to get success with women, and that's not really fair, but I'll deal with it. What would I have to do to look more secure and sure of myself in the eyes then?

You use Instant Shine and spray it on.

http://androticsdirect.com/product.php?productid=12

Try also Instant Jerk:

http://androticsdirect.com/product.php?productid=13&cat=0&page=1

Also some A314 AND molecule "K" for good measure from this same site:

http://androticsdirect.com/product.php?productid=1


I have a few bottles of some of the products in my basement that I purchased from this online store. I'm not desperate in my life enough to use it because I had an "experience" with a girl last year that has made me happy enough until the end of this year (Dec 31, 2013) before I start either looking for another experience or a girlfriend, etc... again seriously.

Seeing all of the desperate stories floating around I'm even feeling good I had an experience (and what types of experiences I've had before that). The pheromones didn't help with that.

But, when I spray instant shine on, after a post-break-up depression, I felt like a confidence and presence of mind so I have confidence in that stuff.

Other than that, go on a sex-tour to the Domenican Republics if you have some money, or go on dates with some girls there or some other third world country. My guess is they will be nicer than the girls in North America and you'll at least have an experience of being a "normal guy", and maybe that will also change your look.

 

[visions]

hello DjDeMarco,

first realize that you've made the first, and biggest step by even getting out there. by simply getting out there you will eventually find one.
secondly, it takes time to hone "game" (and really build confidence, which largely determines your "game").
third, you will probably have results with some weight loss. as a plus it should make you healthier. but don't take this mean that in order to get a female you must completely change who you are and become xyz.

keep reading the forum as there's a wealth of knowledge here (interspersed with some jibberish).

wish you well.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Agreed. You're way too heavy for that height. At one point I was 5'8 210, but managed to cut down to 175. When you're that heavy you become invisible to women. Believe me, I know this from experience.

Also, rejection is a fact of life if you're a guy. If I spit my game to 100 different women 80% of them aren't going to be interested in me. Way it goes.

Only 80%? That's incredible. Most guys get rejected 95% of the time unless they are well above average looks.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Looks don't matter to women (as much) as us, but hitting the gym will help your confidence

Stop perpetuating the above nonsense. Looks matter to women as much or even more than men. They are just less open and honest about it than most men.

Only when a girl is 40+ does she stop chasing "hot" guys. And that is not a choice, but a reality because she is no longer a chooser at that age.

 

[plate's_empty]

Great thread. I would suggest going out with someone who knows there stuff and have them watch you and tell you what you're doing wrong.

Or...

When a girl shuts you down....just ask her why? Tell them you're trying to improve yourself and you want them to be brutally honest. You might have to dig it out of her but usually girls like giving advice. If you find one that will help then she might end up becoming your friend..... and be the best wingman you ever had.

 

[visions]

When a girl shuts you down....just ask her why? Tell them you're trying to improve yourself and you want them to be brutally honest. You might have to dig it out of her but usually girls like giving advice. If you find one that will help then she might end up becoming your friend..... and be the best wingman you ever had.

i did this once, perhaps i should've done it (or should do it) more.

 

[corrector]

Stop perpetuating the above nonsense. Looks matter to women as much or even more than men. They are just less open and honest about it than most men.

Especially in Toronto, eh?

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Especially in Toronto, eh?

I don't have a lot of cities to compare firsthand, but it is hard to believe anything other than Toronto being one of the worst or THE worst period.

Toronto is the online dating capital of North America statistically and second IN THE WORLD. The only city in the WORLD with more people online dating per capita is London, England. So think about that.

Why are there so many singles here? At the very least, the ridiculous level to which women are picky here in terms of looks plays a role. Everyone with half a brain knows that women are the choosers and in effect control the dating dynamics.

If there are a lot of singles, look to the women to find out why.