The Problem with Self-Help

[Charlie Gordon]

This is a response to some posts I've been reading about "self-help" and the quick, one size fits all replies that a lot of questions seem to receive on internet forums... specifically in the context of relationships, dating, attraction, and seduction.

One poster suggested that if you improve your physique, go to school to get the job of your dreams, and dress well that you can sit back and let the women come to you naturally.... another guy became more social, but it's not clear how that was accomplished. Again, the women come naturally...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=162843

Seemed to work for him.

The problem for a lot of lurkers and posters is that the women are not naturally coming to them... and they won't.

Most guys have all of the ingredients it takes to get laid or find a girlfriend. They were born with most of it and acquired the rest before coming here. Internet forums, pick up artists, and bookstore self-help sections propagate a myth that men aren't getting laid because they are not ambitious enough about their careers, they do not have large enough muscles, they are not tall enough, making women laugh enough, dressing well enough, or cunning enough to invest five thousand dollars in a weekend pick-up seminar taught by some charming pickup guru with a funny hat and makeup. This is absolute bull and driven by marketing. It's a business. Self-help is a business. This is a business.

When I found the community about ten years ago, there were far fewer entrepreneurs and a lot of practical advice (unfortunately mixed with misogyny). There were sites, guides, and lairs devoted to helping men get better at meeting women. Some of the information was downright devious; however, the message was clear that if you were not happy with what you had then you needed to do something about it. At first, simple questions were assigned simple answers... but still, most people resisted those answers and kept about their ways. Very few men made the transformation from frog to prince. Later, the focus shifted from advice on attracting women to overall self-improvement. This was an easier pill to swallow and the community got caught up discussing fashion, deadlifts, and motorcycles. Still, you could sort the forums into those getting laid and those remaining in the dark. The problem with a self-help mentality is that it assumes you need to become a bigger and better version of yourself before you can start enjoying the things you really want. This isn't always true, and it is especially untrue when it comes to meeting women.

Improving career and health should be among every man's goals and small improvements usually trump fantastic efforts; however, there are usually more specific things holding a guy back from having a girlfriend or getting laid. They are usually difficult to deal with emotionally and awkward to deal with socially. Men are typically more comfortable spending an hour in the gym sweating, groaning, and straining to lift heavy piles of metal than dealing with... an emotion. That's why it's easy to sell the self-help package: lift, give up junk food, spend money on trendy stuff. No emotions or social awkwardness involved! But relationships cannot be fixed at the gym or at the expensive clothing store. It's up to you to find out what is holding you back and it's not easy. It's easier to put your faith in someone more "experienced" and accept their algorithm for improvement. It's easier to focus on improving other facets of your life in piecemeal fashion to make the product more appealing. But you are already great the way you are. The truth is that even the most seasoned pick up artist or the happiest married man has not lived a single day in your shoes. I don't know what it's like to be you and the guy spouting advice or selling seduction boot camps certainly does not. They don't know what makes you tick, what you need, and what it will take for you to get there. They can only provide general advice or they can tell you to change how you look, dress, and try to behave. This may work for some, great, but not everyone.

You can get in the best shape possible, dress exceptionally well, pick up a hobby, succeed in your career, and arm yourself with canned material or what you call confidence, and if your problem has nothing to do with all of the above (and it probably doesn't) then you will continue to be disappointed with your love life.

It's difficult to troubleshoot this kind of stuff unless you are extremely introspective and extraordinarily socially adept, or actively seek feedback from women and other men who know that you are trying to meet someone special or meet someone more often. There are many things that we don't like to believe about ourselves even though they are true and getting in the way of life enjoyment. We are often not self-critical or even conscious enough to pick up on these sort of things and it is sometimes helpful to hear about them from someone whom you trust and respect, assuming that you are ready to hear it. And it probably wouldn't confirm your suspicions either. Oh, if only we could all see ourselves through the eyes of others... We get in our own way. Personality is the most constant, persevering part of one's identity and both genetics and early life experiences have gone a long way to forge it. A self-help book will not deconstruct the schemata and defenses we have built to navigate our realities. Our perspectives, values, and desires for comfort steer us towards dispositions and decisions that impact our relationships more than how we look, what we have, or how much we can bench. There are some exceptions and they are about as rare as a walking 10, but it's our tendencies and reactions that matter most and they are governed largely by our subconscious. That is why we will continue to perpetrate the same attitudes and behaviors that prevent us from finding what we want in relationships despite aggressive efforts to become the cool guy, dress elegantly, develop a masculine physique, and become celebrities in our disciplines.

Still, strive for those aforementioned self-improvement goals to the best of your abilities (for the good of your family and for this troubled nation) but be aware that going from failure (or unappreciated success) to self-actualization in the context of relationships may require you to find an honest answer or answers that you may not be ready to accept and subsequently behave in ways that are incongruent with the person you have always received encouragement and reward for being. You will face emotional discomfort and social pressures that you will likely interpret as failure no matter where they may take you. Having a mentor here is priceless, but finding one is inherently difficult since many of us don't know what we need. We'll naturally select the one that comforts us and confirms our suspicions about the world and about ourselves. This mentor will only make you stronger in your convictions and hence, more resistant to change. Isn't that amazing? I'm saying that if someone magically knew what you needed to do, for instance, to meet the girl of your dreams and actually suggested it to you, now, then there is a strong chance that you would shrug him off and walk away laughing.

 

[Accension]

I see your point.

The concept of self-help to me always seemed to not be because you changed your tummy into a 6pack, so it got you laid.
More the 6pack gave you confidence and personality that someone with a tubby-tummy didn't have, so you got laid.

Your post was good, however, lovers of literature may be the only ones capable of getting over the wall of text.
Simply, smaller more frequent paragraphs.

Other than that; a pleasure to read.

 

[lchck]

Funny you should bring this up...

I have recently discovered what may be the most incredible thing I have ever seen...a technique for handling emotions like no others... It's called tapping, or eft (emotional freedom technique), I don't know if you guys have heard of it...
The science behind it sounds like a load of bs, at least from my background ( Im an aerospace engineering student), but I cannot begin to describe how amazing this stuff is. Words cannot fit it on a page.

Basically, this consists of a sort of strange sequence which promises to get rid of negative energy by releasing "energy imbalances" in the body or something- whatever, I'm not too sure that's the reason it works.

What it has done to me is systematically obliterated every fear, limiting belief and unpleasant memory I have ever encountered. I focus on one fear or bad experience, perform the sequence and immediately(it takes about 1 min to do the sequence) feel no negative emotion but can still replay the memory. It's wonderful- imagine being faced with a humiliating childhood memory or a crippling fear of heights(or women) and it goes away or at least becomes many times smaller. Its UNBELIEVABLE.

This literally can solve every emotional problem you have. EVERY ONE. Screw therapists, screw everything you ever thought was true.

I used to have a crippling fear of approaching women; I now have 0 fear at all. I mean none. I have gotten rid of every negative belief I have surrounding women and can now approach them anywhere, no sweat. I have no inhibition dancing in front of them on the street and then going to talk to them (not that I do this of course). At the same time, I am not doing anything stupid. It's just that now I can let my mind choose if something's right, not that emotional feeling that inhibits us from doing what we truly want.

After a few days of doing this stuff I am a different person. I am completely reevaluating my goals and dreams, because I am realizing many of my old goals were not things I wanted, simply goals to fill holes I had in my self-esteem or whatever.

I know this is hard to believe, but please try to believe I sincerely am telling the truth and am trying to help. I hope this works for you as well as it did me..

I'm not expressing myself well on this post; I feel like I've literally found the Holy Grail of inner game, please let me know if you have tried this or if you want more info.

PS. I swear this is not an ad; notice I have given multiple names for the technique and no specific company name.

 

[Al Moh.]

Hey Charlie Gordon,

you are absolutely right. The whole community is a lot about telling you: Do this and then do that and you'll succeed. But someone who only uses tricks to get laid never gains confidence, because he knows that without them, he wouldn't have succeeded, would he?

When I first came here I noticed a strange phenomenon. All those "legends" or really successfull people (like pook, fingers, MOTU, etc.) kept pointing at the difference between PUAs and Don Juans in an effort to draw a line: PUAs use techniques, while Don Juans succeed naturally!

Now doesn't this sound pretty cool? But still, why do we learn techniques then? Learn to talk 20% of the time, learn to be charismatic by being explosive etc., learn to call 4 days after we got the number, learn to do self-improvement.

If you want to be a successful Don Juan, or rather, if you want to be a successful man in life, you have to see through those things. You are not just supposed to know how to brush your teeth, you should know why you are doing it and what would happen if you didn't.

If I could convince an AFC that by getting up every morning excactly 3 minutes earlier than before he would score lots and lots of chicks he probably would be more successful than before. We are dealing here with human nature, with psychology which isn't logical, which isn't rational, but which is depended on our emotions and especially on our strongest emotions like faith, love, hate, lust, etc.

So why should someone only talk 20% of the time and let the woman talk 80% of the time? Well, no matter if the technique works or not, here is why:

1.) Our AFC probably bored the women to death before, so let her do the talking
2.) Our AFC thinks: Yeah, cool technique, it must work! And he will find lots and lots of indicators that it works (doesn't matter if she really is attracted, he'll think she is) -> He gains confidence
3.) Something is happening: People are desperate when they come here, they are negative, they kept crashing and burning, they think it'll be this way forever. Give them something to do! By dressing differently, by bulking up, they realize their power to change, they realize that there is hope after all because things don't have to be the same way forever.

There is more, but I think I illustrated the point.

Why do you think it's bad that we don't know what everyone needs? Imagine this:

"Oh, Gordon, I know what you need, do this and that and you'll get women."

And you do this and that and you get women. Great... Now you have them. You still don't understand why. You still don't know of other possible ways. You didn't learn anything about yourself. You just function. You just do something someone told you.

The good teacher will make you try out different stuff on your own. He only points you in the right direction. If you realize bulking up isn't for you, don't do it, but you have to try it first. That's the whole point.

Get to know yourself. Try things. Get out of your shell. That's the whole point of being a Don Juan.

 

[Charlie Gordon]

scripts and techniques

In a way, blindly following advice actually helps members of the community succeed in the short run.

Boot camps are a terrific example. You are encouraged and rewarded to behave much differently than you normally behave and you will likely end up making out with someone in a club. After setting aside time and money, the student receives extraordinary reinforcement and acceptance to blindly audition new behaviors.

Additionally, you are told that the boot camp is a game. Nothing is real. We dampen potential awkwardness and anxiety by referring to provocative stimuli as sets, targets, and obstacles. It's a game show and you even follow a script. You rehearse a specific algorithm in every one of your encounters and look for indications from the women to proceed from one step to the next. Your boys cheer you on. You get your money's worth.

Mystery was a genius in this respect. He opened the door for a lot of people at a time when there were only a few dozen regular posters on here and a only a few dozen serious posters on ASF. Unfortunately, it takes good students a long time to intellectualize the theory and algorithm they are exposed to; in order to improve they must practice and endure rejection without the back-up reinforcement they received at boot camp; and lastly... and most importantly... whether the person is behaving blindly or truly understands why certain behaviors work and others do not, the best predictor of whether or not he will continue using those behaviors is... his personality. His dispositions. His beliefs about the world around him. A lot of guys get this stuff; they get this stuff really well, and yet they don't use it... not because they say they feel phony or unnatural, but because they actually feel phony and unnatural on the level of their subconscious... pick up is so not like them according to their friends, who are largely correct. The squirrel who wanted to be a sparrow flapped his arms as hard as he could and never got off of the ground. So, he went back to burying acorns.

Short of being a natural, there is a part of your personality that keeps people from self actualization in this game. Introversion, shame, anxiety, depression, guilt, vanity, inferiority, obsession, suspicion, etc. Usually one of these is a prominent aspect of their personality. We're brought up with ideas about how relationships work and how men ought to behave in various situations. The pick up artist teachings, whether or not you understand them, may not be congruent with your reality and values.

The ultimate example of this is the poor student alone in a room with his new female friend. She is quickly coming on to him and he is too busy in his head, wondering if he is in attraction or comfort, to reciprocate. He ends up kissing her and taking down her number oblivious to the fact that she was prepared to have sex. His subconscious sort of figured it out and put up a roadblock. A few weeks later, he may look back on the encounter and realize that he missed an opportunity; however, he may appreciate that hooking up would not have felt right to him at the time. He may have learned from his experience, but it is doubtful that he will change.

If you watched the Pick Up Artist on VH1, you may remember the coaches throwing fits when their students didn't "pull the trigger." Some guys don't seem to have it.

Without the guru's voice in your ear, you revert back to your usual, more comfortable behaviors and experience the same success and failures as you had before.

Unless you dawn the mask that you have paid for and receive constant coaching until you somehow adopt the behaviors as your own, you will resist change. You may even resist the coach. Personalities are very, very resilient. The hope of change is what sells the books and boot camps, but change is difficult to impossible.


Some people use affirmations, hypnosis, meditation, EFT, NLP, and various forms of social dynamic, interpersonal, and behavioral psychotherapies to intellectualize their challenges and sort of wrap their conscious or subconscious minds around fresh, new perspectives and behaviors that can help them. I'm not convinced that these work to change personalities, but they can chip away at things like anxiety. I don't discourage them.


We keep trying our best.


BTW, not all of the legends you refer to got laid regularly or at all. I won't elaborate, but don't believe everything you hear about anybody here.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I focus on one fear or bad experience, perform the sequence and immediately(it takes about 1 min to do the sequence) feel no negative emotion but can still replay the memory. It's wonderful- imagine being faced with a humiliating childhood memory or a crippling fear of heights(or women) and it goes away or at least becomes many times smaller. Its UNBELIEVABLE.

That is very interesting. The curse of having a traumatic moment in one's past is being condemned to repeat it in your head for the rest of your life. However, you seem to beat your psyche to the punch by recalling it intentionally. I think that is fascinating.

The problem with self-help to me is that all of it seems to focus around obsessing over success. You are supposed to stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you are a winner. However, I have met a lot of successful people in my life, and none of them acted that way. The one thing I remember that they all had in common was an obsession with their own failures - none of this "think positive" bs. They always wanted to talk about their mistakes. The best stock traders I know would spend several minutes telling you over beer that evening about the day's losing trades, not the winning ones. The guys telling you about their blunders would often have made ten or fifteen grand that same day; but that's not what they talked about. Successful people tend to obsess over their mistakes, not their victories.

 

[lchck]

Exactly- You have to repeat it once, but then its impact is gone forever, while the memory is still there. I have overcome many childhood fears and literally every other emotional problem very quickly(1-2 weeks for everything)

 

[Al Moh.]

Gordon, this all sounds pretty negative to me. I had my friends tell me the same thing: It's not you! Yet, it was me, I felt it. I never followed stupid routines or techniques for a long time. I tried them out, then integrated them into my personality. There is no plan.

Pook was right when he said: Trust your gut. Like with your example, the guy should have trusted his feelings. This is not a strategy game, where one goes: Now let's do this and she'll respond like that, probably, and then I'll do this.

Training wheels. I'd like to take this analogy further. You ride your bike through this world. You see a beautiful woman, you strike up a conversation because you want to meet her. You have fun, you ask about her, make some jokes etc. And then something catches you off guard. That's when those training-wheels will help you. I only use variations of techniques I know when something doesn't work. It's all in the back of my mind, it pops up immidiately.

That's how I use techniques and that way over time I need less and less of them.

"BTW, not all of the legends you refer to got laid regularly or at all. I won't elaborate, but don't believe everything you hear about anybody here."

Is this still just about getting laid? I wouldn't be here anymore if I just wanted to get laid. Still, I do realize that you can't believe anything you hear, but when you read an article you can feel the spirit behind it. The emotion with which it was written. And of course, using pooks material I did get laid, so why shouldn't he or anyone else?


@Bible_Belt:

But that IS thinking positive, isn't it? They talk about their failures because they want to learn something, not because they are pessimistic and lack confidence. A successful person has no need of talking about his successes all the time. That's what people do who lack confidence and success, because they try to convince themselves and others that there is success in their life.




Oh well, how could we ever know what we really are, what our personality is? Friends, family, our whole social circle, everything around us keeps reminding us how we were, that we should stay this way. If you want to discover wheather or not this whole DJ-stuff works for you, go somewhere else, to another city, where noone knows you and just do what feels right, without thinking and whenever fear is holding you back, walk right through it because that's what you really want to do, otherwise there would be no need to be afraid.
I've done so and I became something else entirely. Not the person I was before, not the "perfect" Don Juan described in these boards, but something natural, something confident, something bold and something witty.
If it feels right, it's good.

 

[Charlie Gordon]

Excellent points.


High achievers in some areas tend to be obsessive and critical. These facets of my own personality have helped me accomplish extraordinary goals in my education and career. There was a point when I applied this level of intensity and self-scrutiny to my game, however, and it threw me off. I couldn't be as spontaneous as I needed to be in order to enjoy meeting women.


For the point of discussion, I'm focusing on relationships and well, getting laid. Guys come here for advice on meeting women and are often offered exercise routines and fashion tips instead. The problems most guys have with meeting women have mostly to do with the inner workings of their minds and the attitudes and tendencies they have fostered over the ages. Yes, becoming stronger at the gym will build confidence and self-respect, but that is usually not the problem. There are lots of buff AFCs.


I see naturals and students of pickup as possessing distinct personalities. The naturals just sort of know what to do whereas the students lack instinct and must learn and rehearse appropriate behaviors. The natural will never stop being natural and the tendency of the student to revert to old, comfortable behaviors is as strong as gravity. Methods and boot camps work in the short run because students adopt attractive traits and behaviors. In short, they mimic natural behavior as well as it is being reinforced.


The up-and-move idea is a classic. I did that some time ago. Moved someplace completely different than my home. Did not know anybody. Made friends with the local pick up artists. I led a very different lifestyle. Parts of the "new me" survived my return home, but the social cues and pressures dampened my momentum and restored some old feelings and behaviors, some of which was for the better. But I recommend moving around if you have the ability. Hell, take a trip somewhere and push yourself to behave in ways you had always wished you could. You may find yourself more comfortable with taking chances in the absence of social cues and expectations.

 

[slaog]

Funny you should bring this up...

I have recently discovered what may be the most incredible thing I have ever seen...a technique for handling emotions like no others... It's called tapping, or eft (emotional freedom technique), I don't know if you guys have heard of it...
The science behind it sounds like a load of bs, at least from my background ( Im an aerospace engineering student), but I cannot begin to describe how amazing this stuff is. Words cannot fit it on a page.

Basically, this consists of a sort of strange sequence which promises to get rid of negative energy by releasing "energy imbalances" in the body or something- whatever, I'm not too sure that's the reason it works.

What it has done to me is systematically obliterated every fear, limiting belief and unpleasant memory I have ever encountered. I focus on one fear or bad experience, perform the sequence and immediately(it takes about 1 min to do the sequence) feel no negative emotion but can still replay the memory. It's wonderful- imagine being faced with a humiliating childhood memory or a crippling fear of heights(or women) and it goes away or at least becomes many times smaller. Its UNBELIEVABLE.

This literally can solve every emotional problem you have. EVERY ONE. Screw therapists, screw everything you ever thought was true.

I used to have a crippling fear of approaching women; I now have 0 fear at all. I mean none. I have gotten rid of every negative belief I have surrounding women and can now approach them anywhere, no sweat. I have no inhibition dancing in front of them on the street and then going to talk to them (not that I do this of course). At the same time, I am not doing anything stupid. It's just that now I can let my mind choose if something's right, not that emotional feeling that inhibits us from doing what we truly want.

After a few days of doing this stuff I am a different person. I am completely reevaluating my goals and dreams, because I am realizing many of my old goals were not things I wanted, simply goals to fill holes I had in my self-esteem or whatever.

I know this is hard to believe, but please try to believe I sincerely am telling the truth and am trying to help. I hope this works for you as well as it did me..

I'm not expressing myself well on this post; I feel like I've literally found the Holy Grail of inner game, please let me know if you have tried this or if you want more info.

PS. I swear this is not an ad; notice I have given multiple names for the technique and no specific company name.

I've heard about EFT and read a bit about it. I've an open mind and was going to try it but always put it off.


How long did it take you to perfect it?

 

[lchck]

Around 30 min or less...no joke.

The actual process is remarkably quick to learn and the only part that takes time ( relatively speaking, its really quite fast) is going through all your negative experiences and emotions and clearing them out one by one.

 

[slaog]

Around 30 min or less...no joke.

The actual process is remarkably quick to learn and the only part that takes time ( relatively speaking, its really quite fast) is going through all your negative experiences and emotions and clearing them out one by one.

I'll give it a go over the coming weeks and see if anything happens.

 

[King Valmont]

Props on this thread... Printing it out... alot to digest & great insights here

 

[Swimmer]

Funny you should bring this up...

I have recently discovered what may be the most incredible thing I have ever seen...a technique for handling emotions like no others... It's called tapping, or eft (emotional freedom technique), I don't know if you guys have heard of it...
The science behind it sounds like a load of bs, at least from my background ( Im an aerospace engineering student), but I cannot begin to describe how amazing this stuff is. Words cannot fit it on a page.

Basically, this consists of a sort of strange sequence which promises to get rid of negative energy by releasing "energy imbalances" in the body or something- whatever, I'm not too sure that's the reason it works.

What it has done to me is systematically obliterated every fear, limiting belief and unpleasant memory I have ever encountered. I focus on one fear or bad experience, perform the sequence and immediately(it takes about 1 min to do the sequence) feel no negative emotion but can still replay the memory. It's wonderful- imagine being faced with a humiliating childhood memory or a crippling fear of heights(or women) and it goes away or at least becomes many times smaller. Its UNBELIEVABLE.

This literally can solve every emotional problem you have. EVERY ONE. Screw therapists, screw everything you ever thought was true.

I used to have a crippling fear of approaching women; I now have 0 fear at all. I mean none. I have gotten rid of every negative belief I have surrounding women and can now approach them anywhere, no sweat. I have no inhibition dancing in front of them on the street and then going to talk to them (not that I do this of course). At the same time, I am not doing anything stupid. It's just that now I can let my mind choose if something's right, not that emotional feeling that inhibits us from doing what we truly want.

After a few days of doing this stuff I am a different person. I am completely reevaluating my goals and dreams, because I am realizing many of my old goals were not things I wanted, simply goals to fill holes I had in my self-esteem or whatever.

I know this is hard to believe, but please try to believe I sincerely am telling the truth and am trying to help. I hope this works for you as well as it did me..

I'm not expressing myself well on this post; I feel like I've literally found the Holy Grail of inner game, please let me know if you have tried this or if you want more info.

PS. I swear this is not an ad; notice I have given multiple names for the technique and no specific company name.

Hey man. I can't send you a PM yet, so can you send me one with more information about this?

 

[Nygard]

Self help? More like self helpless. Most people who attempt to help themselves end up going in circles for years and years until an event that they cant control hit them like an Amtrak train on nitro (and then they claim the self-help worked). There's a reason why that industry thrives and fills your local B&N or Borders, or why Real Social Dynamics doesn't mind giving free info, and the reason is that the herd always comes back for the food, all those people always get their fix, wander a little and then come back again. Nobody would bother if it wasn't such a good business model.

Up to you all.

 

[Charlie Gordon]

Self help? More like self helpless. Most people who attempt to help themselves end up going in circles for years and years until an event that they cant control hit them like an Amtrak train on nitro (and then they claim the self-help worked). There's a reason why that industry thrives and fills your local B&N or Borders, or why Real Social Dynamics doesn't mind giving free info, and the reason is that the herd always comes back for the food, all those people always get their fix, wander a little and then come back again. Nobody would bother if it wasn't such a good business model.

Up to you all.

Someone gets it!

I'm starting to believe that the only way someone can really change is to immerse him or herself in an environment where he or she is unable to revert to old behaviors. Even then, they'll carve out our little niche and hibernate if given half a chance.

Self improvement should be about adjusting a situation to match your strengths and values, and not trying to mold your values or personality into something foreign for secondary gain. Oh, how the self-help aisles of Barnes & Noble have led many of us astray.

Seriously, lift heavy weights. Dress well. Get therapy if you think it can help broaden your perspective. But we're the product of our genetics and the environment over decades. Many of us need that unanticipated event to strike, but sadly for everyone who is stuck waiting, there is someone willing to sell them a philosophy.

 

[Rogue]

ichck
I have recently discovered what may be the most incredible thing I have ever seen...a technique for handling emotions like no others... It's called tapping, or eft (emotional freedom technique), I don't know if you guys have heard of it...

The science behind it sounds like a load of bs, at least from my background ( Im an aerospace engineering student), but I cannot begin to describe how amazing this stuff is. Words cannot fit it on a page.

Basically, this consists of a sort of strange sequence which promises to get rid of negative energy by releasing "energy imbalances" in the body or something- whatever, I'm not too sure that's the reason it works.

As someone who studies paranormal and pseudoscientific subjects, I can tell you "Emotional freedom technique" is junk pseudoscience. There is absolutely no science behind "negative energies" and "energy imbalances." It's the placebo effect and placebos can undoubtedly be quite powerful. This is one of my problems with a certain segment of the self-help movement: the basis on deceptive bullshyt. It's like how the bastard Tony Robbins has people walk over a pit of hot coals, telling them it's mind over matter and how if they could walk on fire that they can do anything, when in fact walking on hot coals is a simple parlor trick; that since your skin is a poor conductor of heat, as long as you keep walking you'll be fine.

For awhile now I've been meaning to write a thread debunking the self-help movement but I'll save that for another time.

One more thing: you said you've been doing the technique for several days. Research shows people do receive a positive boost from self-help efforts but only momentarily and they're back to their old selves within six weeks. Let's check back with you in six months. I'm just saying.

 

[Huffman]

Many of us need that unanticipated event to strike, but sadly for everyone who is stuck waiting, there is someone willing to sell them a philosophy.

I can and will not believe that I am "stuck" waiting. I think that a change in directions can make the occurring of said event more likely.

 

[lchck]

Rogue,
Debunk it to your heart's content- I believe the given explanation is pure bs as well, I just think there's some other explanation, perhaps even placebo.
All I can vouch for is that I feel no fear or negative emotion in positions where I would usually be a basket case- going from a crippling fear of spiders to letting one run on my arm w/o fear, for example.

I don't know why it works, but, at least for the time being, the results are quite tangible for me.

 

[Rogue]

I believe the given explanation is pure bs as well, I just think there's some other explanation, perhaps even placebo.

Yes, I got that part.

I used to think hypnotism held similar promise but at best it provided only but a momentary boost and this "technique" strikes me of hypnotism. You have to wonder why if this "technique" is actually effective in changing lives to where "throw away the therapists" why then it hasn't caught fire with the populace. It's great you have new positive experiences but if anything it's the accrued experiences which may lead to lasting change, since experiences do actually physiologically rewire our brains rather than engaging in some mental parlor trick.