//The Chronicles of BPH\\

[BPH]

4/4/14 - 4/11/14 Week 81

I officially hate my life...this year can suck a fat ****.

This week was rather uneventful, had a lab practical, some homework, stuff like that. I sat down and talked to HB Nicole about my decision and she was surprisingly not mad. Doesn't want to be friends though, says she cares too much and can't be just friends...another good reason for me to have broken it off.

Didn't go our Thursday or Saturday, but had formal on Friday. I tried to meet Sabrina (my date) twice during the week, but both times she had tests to study for so I didn't actually meet her in person until formal time.

I got all gussied up and stuff and met her outside my apartment to go pregame before heading to the actual formal. One of the worst experiences ever.

She was with her friends the whole night; dancing with them, taking pictures with them, dancing with them, and leaving me sitting by myself most of the night after talking to some of my friends that I knew. Not once did she ask me if I wanted to dance, if I was having a good time...anything at all. My attempts to have conversations were very short. And to top if off, she didn't even look good.

So later in the night, the girl that hooked me up with her, my friend Leanne, felt bad for me (I was doing her a favor by being this girl's date at the last minute) and offered to give me a ride home. So I left.

But that's not even the worst part about why my life sucks so freaking much right now.

Sunday there was some touch football. It was nice out and I haven't played with John and these guys for a while. So I played for about an hour, and then this bulls*** happens...

One play I'm going for a pass, this guy jumps up behind me to knock it away, rolls my ankle, and steps on it with his cleats. I feel and hear a pop and am in excruciating pain. They help me off the field and after a little while I decide I should go to the hospital to check if it's broken.

Fast forward a bunch of hours and it's badly sprained and now I'm in an air cast with crutches. I walked from the dining hall to my apartment to see how bad it would be to go to class on crutches...so I won't be going to class for a bit.

I'm basically out of commission for a few weeks. That means:

No biking
No walking
No sexing
No partying
No exercising
No eating at dining halls
Probably no Oozeball
No beaching
Generally no fun

And this will probably last until the end of the school year.

I hate everything.

 

[BPH]

4/11/14 - 4/18/14 Week 82

My dad flew down to take care of me with my leg injury.

Literally spent the ENTIRE week hopping around my apartment on crutches and rarely leaving the apartment except to go out to eat with my dad once or twice.

This is all I did this whole week.

I f***ing hate life.

 

[GetBetter]

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzvRx_johoA8ITQgxBpeJTaDUhhIB7bfX

 

[BPH]

4/18/14 - 4/25/14 Week 83

I'm starting to wonder if I should do these from Sunday to Sunday so they make more sense. It matters this time because this Sunday (4/27/14) is my birthday.

Yeah yeah Happy Birthday to me, but man I am just so profoundly depressed and angry with a lot of things right now. For this reason I'm going to just say **** it and let this site censor my curse words. I don't feel like being arsed to correct my ****.

See I have a lot of time to think, and that may be a bad thing, but it really puts things into perspective for me sometimes. This usually just makes me angrier lately, but whatever, let's get into this update. I want to show this one some attention.

So this week had Oozeball coming up on Saturday along with a party that this girl Kristen was planning since our birthday's were on the same day. I was looking forward to this weekend because I can walk a little better this week and needed to get out and see some girls and have some drinks.

I'm still going to the gym since I've been able to walk, doing everything other than legs. I get a lot of comments about being dedicated because of this, but to me it doesn't seem like such a big deal...after all this is something I enjoy doing.

But yeah let's fast forward to Thursday.

Alright so I spent most of the week knocking out homework assignments and not playing so much video games. I cold approached this girl HB Katie, the interaction wasn't very good but got her number anyway. She never replied to my texts after that, guess I shoulda seen that coming.

Thursday night I look around for people that are going to Fibber's because I know I can't really dance at Sandbar and I'm down for having a couple free beers and chilling at Fibber's. I link up with Angela (maybe HB Angela earlier in the year) and Hailey and they decide to head to Fibber's with a bunch of people. We load up in a car and one of their guy friends plays DD which is nice.

I had a decent time at Fibber's, didn't really get drunk; didn't have a whole lot to pregame with and I only had a few beers at the actually club/bar. Said hey to a bunch of people and just kind of milled about. I went to the dancing section a few times and was able to grind on a few girls without ****ing up my leg. I did that every now and then and even danced with this girl HB Kelly who was recently single that I knew from earlier in the year. Tried to kiss her but it didn't go down, I have her number though...not sure if I'll use it.

Angela and her friends are all chatting up guys and stuff and comes over to me at one point to boohoo about a guy that she had been talking to all night not being into her. I put her head on my shoulder and massaged her scalp and she was talking about me being a good friend.

This is a plot point.

About a half hour before closing time I can't find Angela or any of her friends that she came with, but don't think of anything of it for a while. Later on I start getting nervous and call her to find out that she and her friends had gotten separate taxis and headed home...leaving me here without a ride. I hunt up on her before she finished her sentence. I found my friend Alfred who was being a DD for two of his friends, and he was able to give me a ride home.

So that was lovely...

Now Friday there were apartment parties going down across the street from Angela and Hailey's apartment, which are conveniently located right next to my complex. I meet up with the same girls from last night and have a fifth of rum for myself. We head over and I see some familiar faces; Alfred, Emerson, and a couple other people later on the night. Plenty of girls there as well which was nice.

I mill about, talking to people, talking to Angela and her friends in their little corner, played a quick (and I mean quick) game of beer pong with Alfred, and just had some fun in my boot.

The highlight came when I went to the first of the three apartments where people were partying to find a bunch of girls, a few of them cute, chilling on a couch with a deck of cards in front of them. It looks like they're trying to play some games, so I take a seat across from them and we get a few people to join in and play with us.

We play a couple different drinking games, the whole time I'm flirting with HB Kristen. She's friends with a few girls at the party and I'm hitting it off with her pretty well. During one of the dare sections of our game I dare her to kiss me, and she does.

After the games die down a bit we get up and go outside and chill for a bit. I get just enough isolation and go in for the make out, score. She mentions there being a lot of people around, so I lead her to a different side of the apartment building where nobody is and put her up against the wall and start making out some more and getting all touchy feely. A few people interrupt us and she feels like she should go back to her friends. I suggest going to my place, seeing as she mentioned needing a place to spend the night since she was off-campus. She didn't quite trust me yet, which was understandable, so I got her number and walked her back to rejoin her friends.

I texted her a little bit about coming to the birthday party on Saturday, and it looked promising. Cops showed up at the party so I waited a little bit then walked back to my apartment and that was that.

Saturday morning was Oozeball. I made sure we had plenty of replacements since I was injured and the other guy had a rugby tournament to go to. It was a good excuse to be shirtless and the weather was awesome. Our team was losing kinda early though, so against my better judgement I decided to take my boot off and play some Oozeball (volleyball in the mud for those that don't know). I didn't get injured, and even made a few spikes, but our team lost and that was all for that.

My team consisted of the people I went out on Thursday with, along with 2 replacements from my Chemistry class. We all threw each other in the mud after the game and took some pictures, so that was fun. Went to the pool afterwards, while they all went to the beach, and spent the rest of the day figuring out alcohol and logistics for the party later tonight.

I needed alcohol for tonight and a ride to the party, both of which I eventually got. I invited a bunch of people, including HB Kristen. I decided to wear shoes instead of the boot tonight.

Now, remember HB Maecy from one of my earlier posts about an ATO party where I met this gorgeous chick? Well she was in town for Oozeball and stayed the weekend to party.

This is a plot point.

I get to the party and it's a great time. Everybody screams out "Happy Birthday" when I walk in the door and I have people trying to kill me with shots the whole night. There's music playing and plenty of hot girls there that Kristen probably knew. I recognized a lot of people and had an easy time just chilling and talking with whoever. This guy Ryan is a decent friend of mine from TKE and planned to go to the ATO initiation party at some point later tonight.

I was there waiting on HB Kristen to show, she told me she was on her way several times and I started to get a little worried. HB Maecy texted me asking if I was at the ATO party, and I told her I was at my birthday party first. Ryan later had a ride show up to take him to ATO and offered me a ride...but I stayed to wait on HB Kristen.

Eventually she DOES show up at like close to 1AM. I've had my fill of alcohol and have been generously giving my beers away all night and playing DJ with the music inside. The guys actually started calling me "DJ Bryce" (there, that's my real name, **** it, I don't even care).

But yeah so she finds a bonfire with her friends and sits down there with them for a while and has a little to drink. By this point a good deal of my friends have passed out of went somewhere to eat or something.

I kiss HB Kristen a little bit and after a little while I try to convince her to take a walk with me like last time. The same thing happens; we make out, get all touchy feely, and then when I tell her that I want her for my birthday and try to bring her back to my place she declines, saying she doesn't usually do this with guys and that she likes me and a whole bunch of bull****.

I see I can't plow through this, so I start calling people to see if I can get a ride out. Most aren't answering or are drunk and somewhere else. I look for the taxi number and realize that it's still in my Droid and that I haven't manually moved it over to this **** phone.

I go inside the house and ask some people for walking directions back to campus. I walk past HB Kristen and her friends sitting by the bonfire and just casually wave them goodbye and start walking home. Mind you, this is without my support boot and is about 2 miles away.

I resign to the ****ty night that I'm about to have and continue on my way. I give HB Maecy a call but she doesn't pick up, didn't really expect her to.

After about the first mile and a half a SUV passes me and stops to give me a ride. They recognized me as "DJ Bryce" by my shirt and dropped me off at my apartment complex.

Went to sleep and that was my night.

My birthday morning I was woken up at 9AM by the lovely sound of guy using his buzzsaw to saw down a piece of wood on our apartment deck...

Aside from a few texts and calls from family the only real birthday love I got was on Facebook. The sad thing? Most of these comments were from family, friends back in Delaware, OR PEOPLE THAT I ADDED FOR THE PURPOSE OF GIFTING ON A ****ING FACEBOOK GAME.

 

[BPH]

4/18/14 - 4/25/14 Week 83 Cont.

Today I was in a "**** everybody" kind of mood. Went to the pool, worked out, and chilled at home. I don't even feel like playing video games. I'm just so depressed about my current life. My birthday doesn't feel special anymore, it just feels like a normal Sunday...

I found Strength By Sonny online, which is kinda like Boy Toy Story, so I'll give him a look and check out some of his material.

But yeah I'm extremely depressed with my life right now...

I think this is partly due to me living so far away from my friends. I mean, they're all kinda close by, but I don't have roommates or anything and my apartment complex just isn't a place where people my age go to do anything...

My friends have been ditching me at parties and being generally unreliable despite how dependable and generous I am to them.

My girls are somewhat nonexistent, I haven't ****ed a new girl since November, which is about 6 months now for those counting.

I haven't had sex since whenever the last time with HB Nicole was and I'm not looking forward to a Summer filled with work, a lack of proximity to any women, and the very real possibility that I won't be coming back to this school next year, considering how badly this semester has been going.

Really the only thing I have going for me is my health and physical appearance, and my personality which allows me to make friends (of questionable character) easily. Currently I weigh 192 lbs and have a nice 6-pack finally.

That's about it for the pros for me right now.

I'm just really not enjoying life right now at all, and I just want this year to be over.

If you read this whole thing, I appreciate it, and hopefully you have something to say that might help me out here. This isn't how college should be. I'm at a college filled with beautiful women, southern hospitality, and warm, beachy weather. I shouldn't be as depressed and angry as I am right now.

That's all I think I have...if this post is too long for one post I'll just edit it and make a double post...peace.

 

[RiceandChicken]

Hang in there Bryce. We've all hit stumbling blocks before. But in the end, if the campus you're at isn't making you happy and you aren't enjoying it, go somewhere else. No need to waste time at a place that isn't making you enjoy college nowhatimsayin?

 

[BPH]

I'm probably not going to update this for a while. I just really don't feel like it. Just in case anyone's wondering where I dropped off to.

 

[BPH]

Hey guys, thought I'd check in and say hey.

Just a little half-year update I suppose.

Right now I'm 194lbs at 6 feet tall with a 6-pack, so my fitness is going rather well. I started doing a Rest Reduction Training after reading about it in a Lazar Angelov blog post and took up intermittent fasting, but I may have already mentioned that somewhere.

As far as women, I've been doing ok for myself, though I could always use more. For those keeping track, I've f***ed 22 women to date. Most things come natural now, and if I have enough time around a women I like there's a very good chance I'll end up sleeping with her.

When I have a real issue with women I've found a couple good people to start consulting; there's my friend Nick who's good at cracking girls who are a little less slutty and a little more sweet, occasionally my dad if it's something relationship-ey, and this guy Sonny. Sonny actually has a website: http://strengthbysonny.com/
Lots of his articles are a good read and I've even gotten into the habit of giving him a weekly update with how things are going with women in my life if I have something that needs to be ironed out. He also got to where he is without being in a fraternity, made him easy to relate to, at least for me.

Aside from that, I tried my hand at being in a relationship to catastrophic results. Same story different girl, everything was perfect for a while, then things got in the way, then she wanted to separate herself from me since she was going away at the end of the month, found out she was staying, met a new guy, and I cursed her out over text.

I know I know, be nice, but I was attached to this girl in a way that made me mildly depressed and sad for about a week and a half and had to get closure, and when I finally got it I was able to be angry and move on.

Other than that, I'm in school for winter session and changed my major to graduate a little earlier. I'll be turning 21 this year so I can legally drink as well as get laser eye surgery.

Life ain't too bad. Deuces guys. I'll probably do this every so often but if you want to actually talk to me best way is to probably PM me.

 

[BPH]

Hey guys,

It's been nearly a year since I last posted and looked at this forum. I see they've changed the look of the forum and there are a lot of new faces with the journals in the high school section.

I'm in my senior year at UD and since my last post I guess I've come pretty far, as I've now slept with 39 women. 6 feet tall, around 205lbs., doing alright in the fraternity, and getting the women I want is pretty easy so long as I get face time with them.

Just came in here to give that quick update, if this goal is similar to other guys on this section I can offer a little advice if you shoot me a PM, but just decided to pop in and see what's up, as this was where I got my roots.

Anyway, until next year likely, deuces.

 

[BPH]

7/5/23

Today I had what I would consider a pretty bad day. Even though it's technically the 6th as I write this, I'll update this to fill in the gaps in the 7+ years it's been since my last journal posting in the hopes that maybe I can flesh things out for some young buck and that this might be therapeutic to balance out my sh**** day.

Let's start with that, why was today sh****?

Two main reasons, let's start with the first...

Since around late February, I've been working on my own time as a referral partner for a company that specializes in helping business owners file for the Employee Retention Credit to get refunds for paying their employee's wages during the pandemic. I was introduced to this by a friend of my dad who works the same role and has received some money for helping a liquor business. Knowing what I do for my part-time job regarding making many phone calls and talking to people, he thought I'd be good at it.

Basically, it pays me 10% of whatever the business owner's refund is, which is typically several hundred thousand dollars, depending on how many employees they had. I used to go door-to-door in nearby shopping centers but hadn't really seen success with that, so I reached out to one of the guys they brought on for their weekly partner calls where they showcase people who are really killing it. From him, I learned how he does his mass email marketing where he's accumulated about $500k in commissions since I last saw his data in April.

Anyway, this is all context. I've been doing this for a while now, and I have not had a SINGLE deal. Around four of the business I went door-to-door with agreed, but so far only one of them has actually submitted the stuff we need to file for them...and he was the smallest of the four, so that check won't be much. So I have not had a single deal, and have been emailing and following up with several thousand businesses at the expense of multiple inboxes and warm-up services, etc.

This morning I get a response from a guy who sounds interested but wants to go through his accountant to file. I explain that what he's saying is common, but that we specialize in this, comparing it to seeing a general practitioner for open-heart surgery rather than a cardiothoracic surgeon. He then informs me that he gets several emails like this from spam accounts on a weekly basis, and has already filed and received his money - he stated that he simply wanted to waste my time the way I wasted his.

The compounding of multiple failures in terms of business ventures at my expense coupled with the fact that instead of another failure I received a "fake success", I kinda took the "fu** you approach" rather than the "have a nice day" approach. We had a short email conversation and exchanged verbal jabs after I stated that his approach was unprofessional and that I hope he treats his customers better.

Essentially I just reached a breaking point where I'm fed up with having to deal with people being as*holes just for the sake of being as*holes - sh** that I'm having to take from these people because I'm in a position where I need them to invest in me...but we'll return to that when I get to the point of painting a full picture of how I've been after all these years where I'll just address each area in bullet points.

The second reason today sucked was that a friend of mine from college was offering me a position to do sales for his company that primarily does garage floors and coatings. He told me I would make 10% of each job I booked, to which there is a $2000 minimum, meaning I would make at least $200 per job. I was told that they typically book 1 job each day from the 6-8 leads he gets through Facebook. I was initially excited because that would be around $1,000 per week, $52,000 per year, and he would list me as a W-2 rather than a 1099.

I'm a little less excited now for a few reasons. His other sales guy who's less active and doesn't need the money as much has made around $11,000 since March. At that rate, $33,000 per year, he's basically making minimum wage doing this. The other issue I foresee lies in the way he conducts business...he received a call from one of his workers about how they ran out of a certain color to do this woman's floor...so he plans to move a SIMILAR color into that color's container and bill it as what she requested.

Tomorrow we're supposed to go look at this guy's place to do an estimate, which is part of the booking procedure. The thing is he canceled on this guy twice; once due to heavy rain, and once because he simply "forgot". I figure I give it a try and see if I can kill it because one of the jobs his other guy booked was a $38,000 wedding hall floor...so that was a nice $3,800 commission.

This stuff just had me a bit depressed today...I'm happy with most aspects of my life, outside of my financial situation. So getting my hopes up only to have some f*** purposely waste my time was the straw that broke the camel's back today.

This was much lengthier than I initially intended, so I'll make a separate post here in a moment to summarize how life has been in a more succinct way.

 

[BPH]

7/5/23 Continued

Ok, so let me try to itemize this in a way that's easy to read.

Women

Probably the most interesting part of this so I'll start here.

At the time of this writing, I BELIEVE I have slept with 90 women. The reason I say "BELIEVE" is because I may have been with 1 or 2 more, but I'm at the stage where I kinda lose track, so I just estimate on the low side. I used to remember all their names, kinda feel bad about that now. I don't really have a goal number in mind. I simply enjoy variety, I think I like the chase a little bit, but I've been tied down a few times before so it's definitely possible - I'm just really picky.

I like to think I have high standards; depending on where you live most of the women I've been with I would consider 7s or 8s with a couple of 9s. I have had a handful that were below my usual standards, such as on dry spells or while plastered drunk, but those are few and far between. I also have not had a threesome yet - that is still on my bucket list.

Most of these women have been from dating apps or cold approaching at bars or parties. I don't really have a strong network of guys who do what I do, or at least do it well. I have a couple of friends who kinda do, but their standards are much lower and I'm not usually interested in the friend of the girl they're interested in in any particular set. A lot of them are in long-term relationships with women they will likely marry, and as a result, I will often go out by myself. I had one formerly good friend who I used to go out with that was on a similar level in terms of all this, and that used to be fun, but he f***ed me over in a way that I'll never forgive. We're on terms where I will go out with him every so often, but I even told him that I'd never trust him again.

Basically one year he, myself, and two mutual guy friends went down to the beach for Memorial Day weekend. One night I wasn't having a great time and was kinda tired of the sausage fest so I went out by myself while they were all passed out sunburnt from daydrinking.

Anyway, this guy comes up next to me making out with a girl. Turns out it's my friend, and the girl he's kissing is an "ex", in the sense that we were exclusive for a few months in college despite not using any official titles. She made up a lie and ghosted me for a while out of nowhere, discovered the truth that she met somebody else, confronted her, asked me how I found out, and then I just never talked to her again. The point being I liked her a lot at one point, so watching her make out with my friend wasn't an improvement to the night.
I pulled him to the side, explained who she was to me, and requested he not do that in front of me. He explained that she dated him for a while too, and he was quite drunk so he kept going at it. I then removed myself and walked back to the unit where the other guys were still drunk, but finally awake.

Not too long after that, my friend comes back to the room WITH THE SAME GIRL. I start losing my sh**, because I know he's bringing her back to f*** and tell him I am not about to share the room with that. She starts crying about how I'm "acting crazy", so the other two friends go into white knight mode and threaten to physically restrain me and force me to figure out my own ride home if I continue to cause a scene. After quite some time I don't see a good outcome, so I surrender, and later that night when we all go to sleep, I hear exactly what I thought I would in the bed next to me. Didn't talk to him for several months after that. Probably wouldn't ever have if not for the fact that we were co-workers and I saw him on a daily basis.

There were other friends who kinda lost my trust in similar ways that I no longer go out with, so I've kinda accepted the fact that I'll end up doing a lot of this alone.

The best place for me personally to meet these girls is a nearby college bar that's run by a friend of mine who's flaming gay. I've known him since I was going to school there, and he frequently helps me cut the line, get free drinks, etc. In the same vane I've also befriended a lot of the staff, so most of the time I'm there my drinks are free, which is nice. The downside to this is since I'm 29 years old now, some girls instantly go cold when they find out how much older I am than them at a college bar, where the expectation is that everybody is either 21 or 22.

Sometimes I will meet a girl at a gym and get her number for a drink on a weekend or something, but those are rare, all the cute girls seem to be gone for the summer from my gym.

As far as dating apps go, I view them as supplementary and don't recommend focusing too much on them. I would say Tinder is the best, followed by Hinge surprisingly enough, and Bumble in last place. I consider myself a very attractive guy. I'm 6ft tall, I weigh around 195lbs right now, I take my fitness seriously, I still have all my hair, my d*** still works, and I have a 6-pack. I had contracts with two separate modeling agencies (they never got me any gigs, but that's beside the point). I don't say these things to brag, but rather to state that even for me, these apps are generally sh**.

Statistically, guys swipe right on I think it was 40% of girls? I swipe right on maybe 10% or less. Remember, I live in Delaware...we aren't exactly known for having hot women. So out of 10 right swipes, I might get 1 match. Out of 10 matches, I'll probably get 5 or so that'll respond to my first message. Of those 5, I would say only 1 or 2 get to the point where I get their phone number to set up a meeting. Of those 2, usually, it's 0 who will actually follow through when that date time comes. I have been pleasantly surprised a few times though, and they have been fun; one of which was a gorgeous girl who I dated for about 9 months...though there are some threads about me coming here for advice in reference to her toxicity that lead to our breakup.

All this to say, it doesn't hurt to use dating apps, just don't rely on them. And I really don't think they're worth spending any money on for Tinder Gold or any of that crap.

Looks like I'll have to split up sections...

 

[BPH]

As far as girlfriends go, all 3 that I've had in my lifetime occurred since my last post there in 2015.

One was a girl from my school gym that I was attracted to but didn't actually pull the trigger with until we matched on Tinder. We were just FWB for a little while, but as college came to an end and I graduated, she still had two years left. I brought her to the beach with my family that summer, and even though she was moving back to NY we decided we would continue dating. I visited her a few times and we made the long-distance thing work for a few months. That was until she cheated on me, lied and said she had been ra*ed, blamed me for not being there, and eventually revealed the truth several months later. This was probably my most emotionally scarring experience with women that led to me not being able to fully trust women, and rightfully so. A mutual friend actually informed me that she was dating the guy she cheated on me with after blocking me on everything.

A couple of years later I met my second girlfriend at Harrah's up in Atlantic City. Meeting her was actually a pretty funny story...earlier that night I had made out with a different girl one of her jealous guy friends tried to fight me by ripping my button-down open, save for one button, before security pulled him out. I think I came with some work friends, but I lost them, and I came across two gorgeous girls hanging out with some guy friends. I remember going up to them with a single button holding my shirt together and my line was "ok, which one of those guys is which of your boyfriends?" They both got a kick out of it, one was single, the other was not, so the single one walked with me and offered to buy ME a drink. That was a first and left an impression. But turns out she didn't actually have enough cash on her, so we went up to her room, and grabbed some money, I thought she wanted to hook up then and there, but she playfully told me to slow down. Went back down, had the drink, danced a bunch, then brought her up to my room where we didn't f***, just did some other stuff.

She didn't think she would ever see me again after that night, seeing as she lived about 2 hours away in NJ, but we hung out a few times at each other's place, usually for a weekend at a time, and then started dating. This girl was actually a gem; she was super sweet, never lied to me, very generous, very feminine, and just a wonderful person overall. She had a bit of a dysfunctional family, insisted on con***s during sex, and unfortunately had congenital herpes that would flare up every so often to where we couldn't be too physical. Aside from that, she was wonderful. Despite the distance, I had very few complaints; I just wasn't as lovey-dovey as she was and really grew to find her nightly Facetime sessions annoying.

We ended up breaking up when I decided to have a conversation with her about how far she saw us going. At the time I believe I was 23 or 24 and had no intentions of getting married anytime soon - something she very much wanted with me. I broke it off with her as more of a mercy, so that she could meet somebody who's looking for that same thing. She tried to get me back for a while, but I stuck to that decision. Today we're still on good terms and she and my mom will sometimes have conversations. She recently got married, so it looks like things turned out well, given that decision.

My third and most recent girlfriend was a dream-turned-nightmare. Met her off Tinder, she's a few years older, also lives in NJ, and is very well off financially, owning her own place. We both had some reservations about meeting somebody off of a dating app at such a distance, but it turned out well. We both got really drunk, had a bunch of sex and in the morning she treated me to breakfast at a nearby diner. Since then I had spent every weekend visiting and staying at her house for similar antics; going out to random clubs and or bars or restaurants and having a good time. We started off as FWBs, but were only ever seeing each other, so we decided to date. I would say things were perfect for the first 3 or 4 months, and I saw the potential for a long-term future with her...but then cracks started to show...

She came from a very broken home and background; she is adopted, was previously r*ped by one of her foster parents, lost one of her brothers due to OD while we were dating, and dated a very emotionally and physically abusive ex who she was always on and off again with until me, is the breadwinner for her family and as such has nobody keeping her in check, etc. The first major fight we had was when her biological family visited for Christmas. All it took was me putting my hand on her sister's waist to move past her in the kitchen to set her off. They made some jokes about swapping husbands and boyfriends, which she played along with, so I didn't think much of it...until she passive-aggressively started a massive fight over getting liquor for her and her sister that ended with her kicking me out of their house and setting me up in a hotel. Her family, seeing this, decided against staying over that weekend and the sister called her husband to come pick them up. This really shattered my girl, and I think I dealt with this and many other things because I knew that I was dealing with somebody who is heavily damaged.

There was a lot of in-between, including a lovely post I made in response to a fight from Valentine's Day somewhere on here. The final straw wasn't even a big fight - I just became tired of trying to prove my honesty when she insists I'm lying. There was a girl I had hooked up with before I met her that started streaming a game I played, so while at her house I DM'ed her some tips. My girlfriend claims she saw that I was messaging another girl, because she has Ring cameras all over the place, and found that disrespectful, claiming she had the footage. She refused to show me the footage because she was afraid it would "make her mad" when I deny it, and she wouldn't look at the DMs I had sent the girl, since I (correctly) assumed I knew who she meant.

Weeks later she took it upon herself to message the girl and find out our history. I told her she was just a friend and it was somebody I had hooked up with previously. She claimed my telling her that she was just a friend was a lie, so at that point, I had enough and left. She still contacts me from time to time, I've tried blocking her but she gets around it or I get drunk and unblock her. We've hooked up a few times since then, and she does try to get me back, but she was just so damaging for me to have dealt with.

If I can make a recommendation, don't get into relationships.

I have had better relationships with FWBs than I've had with two of the three girls listed above here. A title is not necessary to have a positive relationship with someone, and in these cases has certainly led to more negatives.

TL;DR - 90 bodies, 3 serious girlfriends, 0 threesomes, don't date exclusively.

That was quite long...I don't know if there's a limit but if I have to chop this up I'll try to keep the sections together...

 

[BPH]

Health

Despite no longer having my modeling contracts to maintain, I still do my best to stay in excellent shape. As mentioned earlier, I'm 6ft tall, about 195 lbs at 29 years old. My body fat probably rests somewhere between 10 and 13%. I have the full 6-pack along with lots of striations and veins, primarily around my shoulders and arms. Currently, I see a trainer once a month who performs weigh-ins and tweaks my diet and exercise periodically. Right now I do weight training 5 days per week, without cardio. My diet consists of the same 6 foods in the same portions, at the same times, every day. It is incredibly boring...though I do cheat once in a while and I do drink, though I keep to vodka sodas to minimize calories and sugar. My goal is to get to as close to 225 lbs as I can while maintaining similar body fat as I have now.

I have not and will not take any performance-enhancing drug, and fully suggest you do the same unless you're pursuing professional-caliber bodybuilding.

After graduating college, my mom gifted me with Lasik surgery for my eyes. Outside of fitness, probably one of the best gifts I've ever received - being able to see clearly at a distance is nothing short of amazing, and I am very thankful for that. The procedure itself was absolutely terrifying, and the immediate 24 hours after that absolutely sucked. But beyond that...amazing.

As far as negatives...I recently discovered I have a deviated septum...that's certainly something I want to get permanently fixed. The way I describe it is one nostril feels too open while the other feels too stuffed. It's quite annoying and leads to some post-nasal drip which I speculate leads to me getting minor colds more often. Something I believe I should address.

That section was shorter than I thought it would be...let's finish up with the last one then...

 

[BPH]

Work and Finances

This one sucks the most...

Right now, at 29 years of age, I live at home with my parents in Delaware. I absolutely love them and am thankful I have a home where I'm not being charged rent, but I have been here way too long and it constantly grinds away at me...like it did today.

At this moment I only have about $3,000 in my bank...I recently paid $1400 to properly close an LLC that I thought I closed 2 years ago, and still owe another $200 to finish that process...not fun.

I'm at the point where I'm looking for avenues to wealth that involve and rely on as few people as possible, as these are the points where I feel I am constantly getting shafted when it comes to business. Allow me to describe my work history as far as what I've tried that's failed.

The biggest one, which cost me several years of my time and several thousand dollars was my attempts at modeling and acting. I forget how this started, but I took some headshots with a photographer who forwarded me along to BMG, an agency in New York. There, I was told I needed to reach certain body fat and bicep measurements for them to take me on as a talent in their fitness division. This was when I started seeing my personal trainer hit those benchmarks, which I did. They signed me into an 18-month exclusive contract with their agency, and in that time I received exactly zero work; I followed up with my manager on a weekly basis, asked what I could to assist them, and even took some additional photos to add to my portfolio...never had a job.

Shortly after that ended, I was introduced to another guy through a mutual friend who works out at the gym I was putting part-time hours into. He has a son that's represented by this guy and asked if he could forward some of my photos to him if I could be a talent in his higher age bracket. So he did, the guy was interested, and my mom and I went up for a meeting with him and his mom, a former high-end fashion model who had a majority of the connections.

From our meeting, she agreed to sign me but asked that I enroll with her son to learn acting skills that I could showcase to potential agents when they have their annual workshop, to which I agreed. Unfortunately, maybe a month later she died due to complications upon receiving care, having contracted the virus during the pandemic, forcing her son to take on her role within the company.

What transpired over the next 2 years were 2 separate showcases that I attended; in the first, he told me my monologue was so good and was so confident that I would get callbacks...which I didn't. I felt a bit mislead, but he agreed to work with me for another year at half the cost, so I did that too. This time I got callbacks, the caveat? Seeing as we were still in a pandemic I would be required to get vaccinated and keep up with boosters...We had heard some horror stories from people who took this vaccine and my entire family chose to forego it, including myself. I expressed this concern to him, and he felt that I was underappreciating him and his efforts to get me to this stage, so I decided to discontinue my work with him and have since left that industry.

Outside of that, the above-referenced LLC was established in my attempt to develop ClickFunnels for small business owners to get new leads. I was trying to just offer free trials to accumulate testimonials, but couldn't even get people to agree to that...the one and only customer I had was a guy who ran a carpet cleaning business...I got him results, but he couldn't afford me...so we worked out a pay-per-lead arrangement until he was simply unable to pay after a few months and I discontinued the service.

I also created a product and Shopify page to try my hand at dropshipping...but the pandemic would lead to shutdowns a few short weeks after I was up and running, so I had to shut that down too.

Fed up with these failures, I thought stock trading would be a good place to focus my effort, but got reality checks from a couple of mentors when I mention my account size and trading experience...essentially if I put in years of work and effort, I could expect to see returns akin to working minimum wage at McDonald's...which doesn't really seem worth it. One such mentor mentioned I could achieve some good results if I learned futures, so I may look into that.

My day job involves working at a medical marijuana clinic working part-time at $22.50 an hour for 20 hours under a man that I've grown to dislike. At this point I'm only here because it's my only income until I find something better; I'm good at my job and I don't have any supervision, so it at least allows me the flexibility to juggle things until I find another avenue.

And now I'm trying to refer business owners to a company that can file the ERC for them, as well as potentially working sales for a college friend at 10% commission, and if you'd read above, you'd see how those are going.

So this aspect of my life I'm still figuring out...I'm very unhappy with my current financial and living situation and am looking for a way to escape both without working a churn-n-burn 9-5 desk job for the rest of my life...I already spent a year doing that at a mortgage lender where I watched 90% of my "class" get laid off in the first 3 months...doesn't really inspire confidence.

That about wraps it up. It took a lot longer to write this out than I thought it would, and I went on some tangents longer than I probably needed to, especially in the Women section.

If anybody has any thoughts to add or any questions to ask, feel free to leave them here and I'll do my best to get to them. This was a bit therapeutic, though I can't help but feel like I wasted a significant portion of my night on this when I should be spending it trying to figure out how to make some money...oh well, hopefully, somebody is able to take something from this.

 

[SW15]

Right now, at 29 years of age, I live at home with my parents in Delaware. I absolutely love them and am thankful I have a home where I'm not being charged rent, but I have been here way too long and it constantly grinds away at me...like it did today.

At this moment I only have about $3,000 in my bank...I recently paid $1400 to properly close an LLC that I thought I closed 2 years ago, and still owe another $200 to finish that process...not fun.

The biggest one, which cost me several years of my time and several thousand dollars was my attempts at modeling and acting. I forget how this started, but I took some headshots with a photographer who forwarded me along to BMG, an agency in New York. There, I was told I needed to reach certain body fat and bicep measurements for them to take me on as a talent in their fitness division. This was when I started seeing my personal trainer hit those benchmarks, which I did.

This was a sign that you had some 'Chad-ish' looks, which has helped you reach the 80+ notch count you have despite living with your parents.

You are close to replicating this experience that Roosh had as a 31 year old in early 2011. Getting laid while living in a parent's basement is awesome.

Getting Laid While Unemployed And Living In Your Dad’s Basement

My day job involves working at a medical marijuana clinic working part-time at $22.50 an hour for 20 hours under a man that I've grown to dislike. At this point I'm only here because it's my only income until I find something better; I'm good at my job and I don't have any supervision, so it at least allows me the flexibility to juggle things until I find another avenue.

And now I'm trying to refer business owners to a company that can file the ERC for them, as well as potentially working sales for a college friend at 10% commission, and if you'd read above, you'd see how those are going.

So this aspect of my life I'm still figuring out...I'm very unhappy with my current financial and living situation and am looking for a way to escape both without working a churn-n-burn 9-5 desk job for the rest of my life...I already spent a year doing that at a mortgage lender where I watched 90% of my "class" get laid off in the first 3 months...doesn't really inspire confidence.

Your work stuff stinks right now. Keep in mind that there are also men in their 30s/40s who go to white collar, office jobs that they don't like either.

That job with the mortgage lender was crap. It was likely a job in which you were cold calling to sell mortgages. Most people fail at sales jobs with cold calling involved. Most cold callers get fired within weeks to months. You're correct that those are churn-n-burn operations. Cold calling has been discredited as a business development tactic for at least 30 years this point. Cold calling and cold approaching for dates are somewhat similar, but cold calling is even worse. If an organization still uses cold calling for sales reps, don't work there. Their sales and marketing operations are both outdated.

I think you want to use your college degree for something that requires that college degree.

 

[BPH]

This was a sign that you had some 'Chad-ish' looks, which has helped you reach the 80+ notch count you have despite living with your parents.

You are close to replicating this experience that Roosh had as a 31 year old in early 2011. Getting laid while living in a parent's basement is awesome.

Getting Laid While Unemployed And Living In Your Dad’s Basement

Your work stuff stinks right now. Keep in mind that there are also men in their 30s/40s who go to white collar, office jobs that they don't like either.

That job with the mortgage lender was crap. It was likely a job in which you were cold calling to sell mortgages. Most people fail at sales jobs with cold calling involved. Most cold callers get fired within weeks to months. You're correct that those are churn-n-burn operations. Cold calling has been discredited as a business development tactic for at least 30 years this point. Cold calling and cold approaching for dates are somewhat similar, but cold calling is even worse. If an organization still uses cold calling for sales reps, don't work there. Their sales and marketing operations are both outdated.

I think you want to use your college degree for something that requires that college degree.

I read a little bit about Roosh, but it's a very different time now. With Instagram and the dating apps, any hot women KNOWS she's hot and will have plenty of guys to choose from...so why would she choose the one that's living at home with his parents?

On paper, I wouldn't consider myself a very attractive prospect. My strength is being able to approach and seduce women in person, partially thanks to having maintained a high level of fitness. Since having moved back home and after accumulating all these notches, outside of girlfriends, I think the amount of women I've brought over to hook up with at my house can be counted on one hand...

So if it happens, I usually invite myself to theirs or make my spot sound too far or unappealing.

As far as the finances, I understand a lot of people my age and older do work they hate, which is something I'd like to avoid. The mortgage lender job was where I was invited by an old fraternity brother. It wasn't really cold calling because the people would call us, and we worked primarily with veterans. It was essentially a sales job that had a lot of upside, nice office located in a comfortable part of town in Maryland, and I thought I would be spending some time here.

The irony was that me and this other guy failed the test required to perform mortgage services by only a few percentage points, despite performing very well in the class up to that point. A couple other people failed but they kept me and this guy on staff in concierge to learn the material and re-test at a later date to move into the sales force. We outlasted all but two or three of our classmates. I ended up quitting soon after I passed because I wanted to work in the purchase division, but they wanted to put me in FHA.

For those who don't know, FHA loans are made to people who don't have much funding, and therefore the commissions would be minimal for putting in the same amount of work as the other departments. I declined that offer, and didn't think I would last another year with the company, so when my lease expired, I quit and moved home.

As far as the college degree, I was passionate about fitness, so my degree is in Behavioral Health & Nutrition, which is an offshoot of Exercise Science. I had the idea what I would become a successful personal trainer, working my way to the levels of being equivalent to Jillian Michaels or Billy Blanks. That quickly evaporated when I started working with clients who would cancel on a whim and realized how flakey people were. Today there are training apps where people can subscribe for your personal attention, and I'm considering giving that a go, but after speaking with somebody who does it for a living and finding he only makes around $40,000/year doing it, doesn't seem like the end goal.

My cousin has a similar degree and went back to school for physical therapy, which would be the obvious next step for me, but I don't think the solution is more schooling, that's just more debt. I think HAVING a degree helps you get a job, but I don't think the TYPE of degree really matters too much...at the mortgage lender all those kids had finance degrees, while I'm sitting there with one in nutrition and health...

I also don't think a standard job is the way to wealth, problem is I don't know what IS the way. That's what I'm working on at this point...

 

[Dr.Suave]

Not too long after that, my friend comes back to the room WITH THE SAME GIRL. I start losing my sh**, because I know he's bringing her back to f*** and tell him I am not about to share the room with that. She starts crying about how I'm "acting crazy", so the other two friends go into white knight mode and threaten to physically restrain me and force me to figure out my own ride home if I continue to cause a scene. After quite some time I don't see a good outcome, so I surrender, and later that night when we all go to sleep, I hear exactly what I thought I would in the bed next to me. D

D@mn, bro. This was painful to read.

On one hand, an argument could be made that you should be happy about yout "friend" getting his d1ck wet, even if it was with your ex. But, if for whatever reason, you werent cool with it, You shouldn´t have surrendered.

When your "friends" threatened to physically restrain you, you should have said "i would like to see you try. Do your worse" and send them to the fockin hospital. It would have been "self defense" on your part if they put their hands on you first.

 

[BPH]

D@mn, bro. This was painful to read.

On one hand, an argument could be made that you should be happy about yout "friend" getting his d1ck wet, even if it was with your ex. But, if for whatever reason, you werent cool with it, You shouldn´t have surrendered.

When your "friends" threatened to physically restrain you, you should have said "i would like to see you try. Do your worse" and send them to the fockin hospital. It would have been "self defense" on your part if they put their hands on you first.

It was definitely in the top 5 of the angriest I've ever been, but I know that would not have ended well...

2 or 3 vs 1, depending on if my friend steps in, having no ride home for the 2 and a half hour trip the next day, potential police charges, etc...

I was just really upset that this "friend" chose a nut over our friendship. We had been boys for about 2 or 3 years when this happened, and would often go out and both pick up girls most every weekend. He's a bit more "take whatever you can get" than I am, so it's in keeping with his character, but I was really surprised by the audacity.

As far as the girl, she's a piece of sh**. She lied when we stopped talking so I didn't expect her to be a decent person here either, and she wasn't...crying about how I'm acting crazy, saying we never even dated, telling my friends she has nowhere else to go for the night, etc.

Obviously I don't keep in touch with either of those other guys either, but they weren't really much more than acquaintances to begin with.

 

[nicksaiz65]

It was definitely in the top 5 of the angriest I've ever been, but I know that would not have ended well...

2 or 3 vs 1, depending on if my friend steps in, having no ride home for the 2 and a half hour trip the next day, potential police charges, etc...

I was just really upset that this "friend" chose a nut over our friendship. We had been boys for about 2 or 3 years when this happened, and would often go out and both pick up girls most every weekend. He's a bit more "take whatever you can get" than I am, so it's in keeping with his character, but I was really surprised by the audacity.

As far as the girl, she's a piece of sh**. She lied when we stopped talking so I didn't expect her to be a decent person here either, and she wasn't...crying about how I'm acting crazy, saying we never even dated, telling my friends she has nowhere else to go for the night, etc.

Obviously I don't keep in touch with either of those other guys either, but they weren't really much more than acquaintances to begin with.

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you man, that’s a brutal experience

 

[SW15]

I consider myself a very attractive guy. I'm 6ft tall, I weigh around 195lbs right now, I take my fitness seriously, I still have all my hair, my d*** still works, and I have a 6-pack. I had contracts with two separate modeling agencies (they never got me any gigs, but that's beside the point). I don't say these things to brag, but rather to state that even for me, these apps are generally sh**.

That's why you've been successful. You are top tier on looks.

So out of 10 right swipes, I might get 1 match.

Most men have a match percentage of under 1% on their right swipes. If you are at 10% matches on your right swipes, that's really good.

TL;DR - 90 bodies, 3 serious girlfriends, 0 threesomes, don't date exclusively.

I did read. That's a good lifetime resume in seduction. You need your own 1 bedroom apartment and you're set.