my boss behavior need some support its an urge

[TheMale]

hey guys,

i needed to talk about ot with someone who will understand and be honest and not gonna tell me crap that i wanna hear.

so heres the deal. i really dont like his behavior toward me or other employee.

i dont know if its a normal thing, because i didnt really work until 6 month ago. until then i was in the army. i had some summer job but it was cool, no headech.

as i started he was nice and really cool we even talk about our life, exs, plans etc. we were cool and being friendly
he is the type of boss that work with you and not standing there and watching you he even doing everything we are doing

yesterday, after a chick (whos working here) asked me to open the door, and i wanted to mess a bit with her. he started screaming that if someone asking something i need to do it. before i went to delivery he told me you are going o X street, then in my way he called me to tell me he was wrong im going to Y street, but then when i came back to the pizzeria he told me that i'm not responsible. i almost told him that he can blow me and then he came to me and said 'know what take a break youre a bit tense take a glasse of water and we ll talk.
so we did.

see the main problem that i have in his opinion is that im too curious, yep someyimes im asking question but its to make converaation, or to know what to do next so i dont need to sit and realax and then he can tell me i'm not doing anything and how much i'm lazy etc.

im not here to be a b!tch or a robot, doing whatever he told me without inderstanding
so yes im asking qusstion im giving interest on what he s doing why ti do that and he told me yesterday that he cant afford it this week because its gonna be really busy in the pizzeria and he need to handle some administratore stuff, he is stressed and a lit of thing going on his head, he also told me that he have no social skills (yeah, i can see it !).
long short story, he have a lot to do and think and im just bothering him with my questions.

he also want us to be independent and doing what need to be done without asking but he's always checking and getting into our stuff.

he is always right, even when you want to explain something he told me that even if hes wrong just to not arguing and waste time i need to tell him 'ok youre right'.

today when he came i asked him what time he went to sleep because he looked tired, the answer was : 'dont ask me personnal question we are not friend'
at this moment i wanted to take my stuff and leave but i kinda didnt want to let anybody break me. i wanted to feel strong.

anyway i asked him questions about something i didnt knew (im worling there only a week)
and he just became mad and started to yelle at me that im always asking question that im too curious, and askes me wich language he needed to talk to me so i can understand it. and i really wanted to tell him what i think about him.

once again thought ill remaine strong and not losing control.
he told me to get ready for a delivery but it was more a question than affirmation and i told him i'm getting ready, then he told me 'i dont even want an answer'.


i can go on and on with that stories.

so today i was quite didnt talked much with him or anyone else, and i gotta say that im really bringing a good mood to work everyone laughing when im arround everyones having fun but today it was a dead day!

hes screaming on every employee and in front of other people (employee and clients)

when i went i said bye to everyone in a cold manner. usually im holding hand with everyone sometime even hug (when its a chick) but today i was like an ice.

i really dont know if i should tell him what i reallg think because yesterday he was talking i was only listening and commenting. should i walk away without telling anything ? or should i surprise him tomorrow with not coming to work ?
should i be friendly with anyone else excepted him and when he will laugh with me ill tell him that between us its strictly professional 'we re not friend' ?

i really dont want to let anybody affect me but now im begining to loose control and i can be really bad whrn i want to i can make people getting into a grave just by talking but im not that guy anymore

 

[TheMale]

no one ?

 

[speed dawg]

Type actual English and act like an adult and maybe someone will help. If you act the way you type then it's no wonder your boss hates you.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah he's a d@ck, but if you want to work there, I would recommend the following:

1. Keep questions to a minimum. Only ask if you really need to know something. Unfortunately, a lot of bosses get annoyed by too many questions.

2. Some bosses also get annoyed when workers socialize too much or make jokes or try to make work "fun.". Honestly, at work, you should be more quiet and only talk about work stuff, as necessary. Flirting with the girls or messing with them will annoy him.

3. Just listen to what he tells you to do and do it.

Ultimately, if want to keep this job, you need the "non-reactive" frame where you are unaffected emotionally by him, but do your work quietly and say as little as you need to.

I know you don't want to be a robot or b@tch, but it is that type of job, unfortunately.

 

[backbreaker]

the ONLY job i have ever been fired from in my life, mcDonalds, i was 17, i had worked there for 2 years, they had jsut hired my little cousin courtney (who was taller than me). she was 16. it was like her first week and they put her on back drive through and the GM of the place was there and i wasn't even at work that day it was pay day and i was getting my check and i came in and he is tearing her a new one and she is about to cry. I had to protect my own at that point i was like dude she's just 16 why don't you chill the fvck out and talk like a rational adult. he was like who are you talking to i was like ***** i'm talkiknt you. i promsie iw ould have slapped the **** out of him at that point had he tried to hit me.

i mean seriously if it was that bad,i worked back drive through for almost 2 years there, i would have jsut came into work and took over for her and she could have went to front counter. dude just wanted to yell at someone. i hate *******s like that.

needless to say that was my last pay check lol. but my mom couldn't get mad for sticking up for her niece.

in a funny way it's funny how that event shaped my life. if i never would have gotten fired i never would have became a tech at best buy. if i never became a tech i never would have met my future business partner (or my oneitis for that matter) and i never would have started my company with him. so thank you ass hole boss lol.

 

[backseatjuan]

Your boss is an ass! Know the difference between an ass and a donkey? Donkey is an animal, ass is a job title. No reason why you can't tell him what he wants to hear and do what he likes to see, and in return that ass will get you the place you want - financially. If you really don't like that ass, you'd have to let it go and get a new one.


You were wrong when you messed with that girl, and you were wrong when you drove to XY streets on emotions.

Frankly I get a feeling you want a relationship with your boss, friend or father. There is no need for that. All you gotta do is your job. You do a lot of other stuff, thus your boss told you that you are too curious. :crackup:

See where is your problem?

Do your job at work, and when you go to a call it doesn't matter X street, or Y, or Z. Also never break any traffic laws, even if it's fun. (or you are mad) Keep in mind that if you get a ticket or into an accident you are responsible, not your boss that send you on a call. If your work is keeping you a little over time, do it and finish it, on Friday come to your boss at the end of the day and tell him you worked a bit over time and you want to leave early.


It's ok to be curious. Just know your purpose for curiousity. Does it get you a promotion or will you get closer to opening your own business and becoming your own boss, or are you just borred?

 

[backseatjuan]

I also want to add that your boss is a boss for a reason. He done what you doing with sosuave - or in some other way - during his time. Learn from him. The whole I hate my boss thing is just a 'I don't get what he doing' and that's why you're not your own boss. Sort of like afc dissing a dj. You're not a boss and not even your own boss, you have to work for another dude to make a living. Realize your boss has a higher social standing.

 

[TheMale]

Type actual English and act like an adult and maybe someone will help. If you act the way you type then it's no wonder your boss hates you.

very constructive.
for the record, i'm carribean, so yes, i have some difficulties in english.
but you know what, people here understand me, and trying to help, contrary to other.



anyway, thursday, last day of this week and we all have a week off.
i came with an excellente mood (everyday is a new day mentality), when he was arround i wasnt really paying attention for him, just saying hey, listening to what he had to say and did my worked.
didnt asked questions.

at the end of the day, firstly he said that i worked really well and it was great today, didnt asked question and did everything by myself, then he was asking what i'm doing while that week of (passover for jewish people, like me) and i told him i had some plans, but not sure yet.
then he asked me if i wanted to come with him doing some camping with his friends and his brother (who is also working with us), that we can go with his car, and we gonna have fun.

mix behavior, weird.

i think i'll follow your advices, because it looks like the best option i have for the moment.
as ET the hiphop preacher said: 'when you go to work, go to work !'
thx guys for that answers !

what is your opinion about this mix behavior though ?
i also want to add, i'm always coming with a good mood and making them laugh, messing a bit with other, and other are loving it, but if i follow your advice of, do your work, it's gonna be weird to me and to other people, that i'm not like i used to be, i'll be more professional, coming just to deserve my money, i'm not that guy, never been ! so how should i balance ?

BB, good job with your cousin.

 

[backseatjuan]

Go camping, get drunk & smoke a joint.

 

[TheMale]

not smoking or drinking, dont need that to feel good ! ;p

 

[Mike32ct]

I'm glad the advice worked well for you.

I will explain why being quiet and focusing on work, works:

1. The boss will take work more seriously than anyone else. It's his business. He has the most to gain and the most to lose. So he will ONLY respect those that also take it seriously too.

2. To some extent, high status people are like AWs. (No offense intended.). They are used to getting attention because of their money or status. As a result, giving then LESS attention (while still being professional and hard working) can be effective.


Finally, I know you are a fun, outgoing guy. It's not natural for you to be quiet. But it's important to have a "work personality" and an "outside work personality."

I'm the most quiet guy in my office, but I still got promoted. But outside of work, I'm very outgoing.

Even your boss will have a somewhat different personality at work than on his camping trip. It's ok.

 

[TheMale]

ok
thx for clarifications !

i think theyll get chock when ill get there next monday and ill be completely different !

for #3, mike, its working exactly the same way its working with actual AW

 

[iqqi]

Sometimes bosses want their employees to be somewhat autonomous and be able to do things without hand holding. This leaves them free to do their own job, to manage. A lot of managers have a sh!tty set up, with way more bs responsibilities than you could imagine. All of your three year old like curious questions could have been hindering his ability to do his own job, or even just simply concentrate on it.

Grow up maybe.

Keep that in mind.