Meeting old men while traveling got me scared

[Manure Spherian]

People don't fear being alone, they fear loneliness.

However, you can feel terribly lonely in a crowd. Or a bad marriage.

If your happiness depends on another human being, you will become disappointed and you will feel more lonely than he that doesn't depend on another person for his happiness.

I believe this is true in a certain context. However I doubt most on here actually believe this (I believe you do) considering the investment and thought they give into being with women. If having a woman was some take-it-or-leave-it thing, then why invest so many resources into not only finding one but remaining with one?

I once read from an author who I believe is wise not to mention, “Nothing makes a man angrier than lack of a woman.” While I think some here are way, way too dependent on women—I mean, act like they’re going to die without one for a month or so, perhaps less—I generally agree with that statement. For men who say women are just the icing on the cake, I challenge them to get rid of their women, stop pursuing women, see how they feel in a year, and then continue on like that. Perhaps they can cease all ties with friends (for those who have them) and family too.

With that said, I do believe there is some brutal gynocentrism on here.

One guy on here said none of his happiness depends on other people. For a tiny minority of people, I believe this to be true. For others I believe it is tough-guy, edgelord, stoic mumbo jumbo. For a time in my life, I suffered from extreme depression and loneliness. I once told my friend that during that time, “I felt like I was dying.” Granted I was not actually dying and depression manifests in some cases in warped thinking, but that’s what I felt in some indescribable way. Now I’m never alone and sometimes wish I could get more alone time, as my kids, wife, friends, and family members constantly want my time. I even had coworkers begging me to stay at my job that I was going to leave had it not been for a substantial raise. I gladly take this condition over being lonely. I still have my individual pursuits and interests in all this.

In conclusion I actually don’t think fearing winding up alone as a bitter old man is completely unreasonable.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

In conclusion I actually don’t think fearing winding up alone as a bitter old man is completely unreasonable.

The bitter young men wind up as bitter old men. Age doesn't change a mindset that much.

Dissatisfaction can easily become parasitic. Positive mindsets matter more than people think.

 

[JuanSama]

“Nothing makes a man angrier than lack of a woman.”

I agree with this quote because you can see it manifest in countries like India where men resort to rape and murder to satiate their horniness. I read an article a while ago about how a group of men raped a giant lizard at a zoo and murdered the reptile to hide their tracks.

I don't believe men should be without women for a substantial amount of time unless they're asexual.

Now, some of the old guys here are still having sex regularly, which is great because many of the old married guys don't have any sex because it's impossible to be attracted to your wife at that age.

There's definitely a gynocentric idea here because it's rare for a man to actually want a family instead of only sex unless they've been brainwashed.

For a time in my life, I suffered from extreme depression and loneliness.

I had the same problem and just going out of the house and saying hi to anyone would give me a massive high that allowed me to finally start getting out of bed. Once I started socializing and forming meaningful friendships, my depression was gone.

Maybe we just need meaningful social connections instead of starting a family but it could also be that cultivating meaningful relationships outside of a family setting is very hard and the reason why many men resort to the latter option instead.

 

[Manure Spherian]

instead of starting a family

You are aware that the family unit is the building block of civilization, right?

As I’ve said elsewhere, I’m part of a biased crowd. I do not know one man in my social circle, including myself, who started a family because of brainwashing. And I suspect a chunk of men (not all) who say they don’t want to start one do not have women who want their babies in the first place.

 

[JuanSama]

You are aware that the family unit is the building block of civilization, right?

It definitely is.

As I’ve said elsewhere, I’m part of a biased crowd. I do not know one man in my social circle, including myself, who started a family because of brainwashing.

Maybe instead of brainwashing, I should say programming. Because when you think about it, most men aren't willing to cultivate meaningful relationships outside of the family unit because they have the idea that such relationships should be reserved for family members.

Most relationships outside the family tends to be purely transactional in nature and your friends might not even notice when you're gone. This isn't true for all friendships but you have to be quite lucky to make true friends these days.

Now, some families suck and leech off each other too. I have personally experienced this. But the likelihood of starting a family where the members just want to suck resources out of you is less than with people outside your immediate family.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I agree with this quote because you can see it manifest in countries like India where men resort to rape and murder to satiate their horniness. I read an article a while ago about how a group of men raped a giant lizard at a zoo and murdered the reptile to hide their tracks.

Having an excess of single men is a burden on society as they get up to anti-social and dangerous activity. In Islamic societies this is where the suicide bombers come from. People can scoff at monogamy but enforced monogamy actually makes society more stable. It also minimizes strife between men.

 

[JuanSama]

People can scoff at monogamy but enforced monogamy actually makes society more stable. It also minimizes strife between men.

This can also be observed in Asian culture where most people get married and have children. I believe this contributes to the low crime rate is such countries. However, cheating is also very common because most of the beautiful women will marry men with good financial standing but sleep around with the chads. But Asian men don't seem to be concerned about their wives cheating as much as western men do for some reason.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I met another 60yo dude at a cheap hostel. He was as grumpy as old men could be. He also talked about conspiracy theories quite a bit, like how the system is rigged and the world is trying to get him. He then said that he's an investor, which is obviously BS because he can't even afford a proper hotel room. Later, I learned that he makes money by scamming the locals into taking English lessons from him even though his English is garbage and he doesn't know a thing about teaching. He's also an incel who refuses to interact with women.

If you are going to travel to Asia and stay at hostels, you are going to meet those types of characters. I mean, who the hell did you expect to meet there?? Elon Musk?

 

[JuanSama]

If you are going to travel to Asia and stay at hostels, you are going to meet those types of characters. I mean, who the hell did you expect to meet there?? Elon Musk?

That's my point. I didn't expect to meet any old men at hostels because it's more for younger budget minded travelers.

 

[Bokanovsky]

That's my point. I didn't expect to meet any old men at hostels because it's more for younger budget minded travelers.

It depends on the country. South East Asia is known as a bargain basement sex tourism destination. It attracts tourists that are older (most sex tourists are not young) and poorer than your average westerner.

 

[JuanSama]

It depends on the country. South East Asia is known as a bargain basement sex tourism destination. It attracts tourists that are older (most sex tourists are not young) and poorer than your average westerner.

That's right. I'm thinking these sex tourists wouldn't exist if they had followed conventional wisdom like living below your means and starting a family early on in life.

 

[Bingo-Player]

During my early - mid 20's I couldn't really understand why anyone in their right mind would actually want children and to be fair during your 20's and 30's ( best years of your life ) its a pretty dumb move because it severely handicaps you in terms of what you are able to achieve and experience in life during those core years

However as I have reached 30 I have started to understand that actually a family is probably one of the most fulfilling elements life has to offer especially as you get into your later years

I feel if a man is going to have the best of it all , he must build a very successful life between 20 & 35 travelling / making money / experiencing things

After 30 he needs to find a female that will be suitable as a wife preferably between ages of 25 & 30 and have children with her as soon as possible

This is the situation I find myself in now .... I turned 32 last month and I emigrated to Australia and I have a small chunk of money I worked hard to build last year

I now literally have 3 years to establish myself I this country , build a business and find a wife

IF it plays out the way I want it too , I feel I will have experienced everything life had to offer between 20 - 35 and then gone on to build a nuclear family and experience that side of life

However this is a dangerous strategy and I wouldn't fancy going into my 40's and trying to do this from scratch

I feel a lot of guys who are single and childless after 40 just haven't planned their lives out well enough

 

[MAB]

During my early - mid 20's I couldn't really understand why anyone in their right mind would actually want children and to be fair during your 20's and 30's ( best years of your life ) its a pretty dumb move because it severely handicaps you in terms of what you are able to achieve and experience in life during those core years

However as I have reached 30 I have started to understand that actually a family is probably one of the most fulfilling elements life has to offer especially as you get into your later years

I feel if a man is going to have the best of it all , he must build a very successful life between 20 & 35 travelling / making money / experiencing things

After 30 he needs to find a female that will be suitable as a wife preferably between ages of 25 & 30 and have children with her as soon as possible

This is the situation I find myself in now .... I turned 32 last month and I emigrated to Australia and I have a small chunk of money I worked hard to build last year

I now literally have 3 years to establish myself I this country , build a business and find a wife

IF it plays out the way I want it too , I feel I will have experienced everything life had to offer between 20 - 35 and then gone on to build a nuclear family and experience that side of life

However this is a dangerous strategy and I wouldn't fancy going into my 40's and trying to do this from scratch

I feel a lot of guys who are single and childless after 40 just haven't planned their lives out well enough

I'm just gonna state for the record that what you wrote there is a recipe for disaster.

Just so people can't claim in the future that nobody warned them.

 

[pipeman84]

I'm just gonna state for the record that what you wrote there is a recipe for disaster.

Just so people can't claim in the future that nobody warned them.

As I read it, the gist of the post is that a man should experience life and when he's mature enough (+35yrs old) if he wants a family, he should get a younger woman and do that.
I think there's plenty of wisdom in that, in fact Aristotle made the same observation more than 2 thousands years ago:

Therefore it is fitting for the women to be married at about the age of eighteen and the men at thirty-seven or a little before

Why would that be a recipe for disaster?

 

[Bingo-Player]

I'm just gonna state for the record that what you wrote there is a recipe for disaster.

Just so people can't claim in the future that nobody warned them.

You either pi$$ed your 20's and 30's away or you haven't read my post properly

 

[Macadellic]

lol you are easily scared by a strangers life experiences.

You want to be scared more go sit in a court for an afternoon and witness divorce hearing after divorce hearing.

 

[inquisitor]

While traveling across SEA, I met a lot of old men whose lifestyles made me worry about what's going to happen to me if I don't start a family.

One of the guys was an incel in his 60s who told me that he hates women because they're always testing him. While talking, a hot Asian lady approached him and asked where he was from. The guy just grumbled "country X" and didn't want to talk to the woman even though it could have been easy *****. He told me he prefers to pay for sex.

I met another 60yo dude at a cheap hostel. He was as grumpy as old men could be. He also talked about conspiracy theories quite a bit, like how the system is rigged and the world is trying to get him. He then said that he's an investor, which is obviously BS because he can't even afford a proper hotel room. Later, I learned that he makes money by scamming the locals into taking English lessons from him even though his English is garbage and he doesn't know a thing about teaching. He's also an incel who refuses to interact with women.

The next one was interesting. I met the guy at a bar and he kept talking about how great of a girl he has by his side. How she's always supportive and caring. I thought wow, this woman must be a goddess. 30 minutes later, the "girl" joined us. Turns out, it's a trans woman. After a couple beers, the guy revealed how he paid for his "girl's" boob job, face reconstruction surgery, and hormones. I'm assuming the guy is scared of women, so he ended up dating a trans one instead.

These are only three examples, and I've met a few more like those. I've decided to not interact with old men anymore during my travels because it's too depressing.

Now I'm scared that I'm gonna end up like these guys when I become old.

Can any old guys here chime in to talk about how life is when you're that old and still unmarried? Ideally I would like to not be broke like these guys and neither an incel.

Missed the chance to ask them if they've ever heard of the Sosuave forum.

 

[MAB]

Why would that be a recipe for disaster?

I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I found this forum because it was repeatedly mentioned in a book I read and I thought this was a red-pill forum. I am obviously out of place here.

 

[SW15]

I feel a lot of guys who are single and childless after 40 just haven't planned their lives out well enough

That might have been true for the GI Generation, Silent Generation, Boomers, and possibly Generation X. It's not at all true for the Millennial generation.

Right now, the oldest members of the Millennial generation are turning 40. Let's consider the birth years of 1982-1986.

The 1982-1986 birth years often found themselves finishing school somewhere around 2008. New graduates with bachelor's and advanced degrees in 2008-2010 weren't getting jobs that were reflective of their levels of education. That's where the stereotype of the Starbucks barista with a bachelor's degree or an advanced degree was becoming more of a thing.

Women's employment and income don't affect their sexual marketplace value too much. However, men's employment and income accomplishments do affect their sexual marketplace value, especially for men who give off a bit of a white collar vibe. Looks still matter more than money and status for younger men, but 1982-1986 born Millennial men often took an SMV hit in the years following 2008 over their unemployment and underemployment. It took for a while for many of these men to recover. A lot of these men were victims of circumstance.

Also, some men who are single and childless when they turn 40 never wanted to marry and never wanted children either. I think this is a smaller group than the victims of circumstance that I described above.

as I have reached 30 I have started to understand that actually a family is probably one of the most fulfilling elements life has to offer especially as you get into your later years

I feel if a man is going to have the best of it all , he must build a very successful life between 20 & 35 travelling / making money / experiencing things

After 30 he needs to find a female that will be suitable as a wife preferably between ages of 25 & 30 and have children with her as soon as possible

There could be some advantages to having a family. I've now reached my early 40s never married and childless. I don't feel that bad about what has happened.

If I had married, there's a good chance I would have been divorced by now or on the verge of a divorce in an unpleasant marriage. Is that better than my current lifestyle? I don't think so.

I also see many potential downsides for a man 30-35 seeking a woman 25-30 for a marriage in a Western nation.

Having an excess of single men is a burden on society as they get up to anti-social and dangerous activity....People can scoff at monogamy but enforced monogamy actually makes society more stable. It also minimizes strife between men.

This is a point with merit. In both China and the United States, there are an excess of unmatched and involuntarily celibate men born in the 1980s and 1990s. When the two largest economies have that problem, it is concerning.

 

[Manure Spherian]

This is a point with merit. In both China and the United States, there are an excess of unmatched and involuntarily celibate men born in the 1980s and 1990s. When the two largest economies have that problem, it is concerning.

Men with no stake in the future tend to get up to no good, or do nothing at all!

If I had married, there's a good chance I would have been divorced by now or on the verge of a divorce in an unpleasant marriage

What if you met a normal woman? Do you think this would still be the case?