I’m watching marriages blow up left and right. It’s depressing.

Ruleit

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 12, 2011
Messages
72
Reaction score
11
jurry, talk to me when in another 12 years. At 28 I also thought I knew it all.

jurry said:
There are many many great beautiful women out there that will do anything for you in a relationship and be loving and loyal partners.
Yep, initially they're re like that. Then they hit the 7 year itch. During those seven years she has systematically deconstructed you into a beta. She's weedled away all your hobbies, alienated you from your alpha friends, stuck you into the beta/married man social circle (who all call their wives "the boss") and nagged you to stop gym. You've become fat and lazy.

THEN....

She decides that she is unhaaaappy and divorces your a$$ for cash and prizes.

I've been married for close to 16 years. I've seen it happen time and again. So why hasn't it happened to me? Why am I not divorced? Closest reason I can find is: I got lucky. That and I have flat out REFUSED to do ANY "woman's work" around the house. It's not my nature. I don't cook, clean, wash, iron NADA. That's the wife's job and she KNOWS it and she's learned to be happy to do it too.
 

Spence

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
49
Reaction score
2
Location
London UK
jurry said:
Sorry you feel that way, its a miserable and callous attitude to go through life with.. There are many many great beautiful women out there that will do anything for you in a relationship and be loving and loyal partners. The backlash and hatred towards women that i see in threads like this seems like the collective frustration of men who just havent found one yet.
I agree, it seems like some very jaded commentary going on and I have never had a relationship and I'm 30, ultimately I am to blame for it not women.

It can work both ways with marriage. I know of a 32 year old girl left with 2 kids, her husband left her after 3 years of marriage, and 8 total years together.

Turns out he was never faithful to her, shagging everything left right and centre and then he just left the country and left her with the kids. It was his idea to get married not hers. Girl is a 9 or a 10, real stunner, intelligent, well spoken, (had a career with Shell until the children), he made her quit her job and the guy was not ugly but not a great looker imo.

Really makes me wonder what she ever saw in him. So how is she supposed to feel about men? When her husband completely screwed her life.
 

jurry

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2014
Messages
1,038
Reaction score
60
Ruleit said:
Yep, initially they're re like that. Then they hit the 7 year itch. During those seven years she has systematically deconstructed you into a beta. She's weedled away all your hobbies, alienated you from your alpha friends, stuck you into the beta/married man social circle (who all call their wives "the boss")...
Because you ARE a beta (not you, the hypothetical you) and stop challenging the girl and she becomes completely bored with you, and how could you possibly blame her?! You roll over and hand her your nuts in a bag and do whatever she tells you, probably because you were too scared and uncomfortable being alone in the first place that you latched on to the first woman you could marry.. And we expect a woman to continue on with such a pathetic creature for decades?


Be a MAN. Do your own thing, have your own life, always! If you dont think you can stay alpha and be married, then dont get married! But please dont go around blaming it on the woman.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
Ruleit said:
jurry, talk to me when in another 12 years. At 28 I also thought I knew it all.



Yep, initially they're re like that. Then they hit the 7 year itch. During those seven years she has systematically deconstructed you into a beta. She's weedled away all your hobbies, alienated you from your alpha friends, stuck you into the beta/married man social circle (who all call their wives "the boss") and nagged you to stop gym. You've become fat and lazy.

THEN....

She decides that she is unhaaaappy and divorces your a$$ for cash and prizes.

I've been married for close to 16 years. I've seen it happen time and again. So why hasn't it happened to me? Why am I not divorced? Closest reason I can find is: I got lucky. That and I have flat out REFUSED to do ANY "woman's work" around the house. It's not my nature. I don't cook, clean, wash, iron NADA. That's the wife's job and she KNOWS it and she's learned to be happy to do it too.
Exactly, This is correct.
 

Spence

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
49
Reaction score
2
Location
London UK
Another example of a guy who thinks the posts in this thread are only from the perspective of one life instead of the macro-trend.

It isn't just the examples in this thread, it is the reality of what happens in
No need to be abrasive, your comments just struck me as jaded.

But I'd agree to an extent it is particularly in US society that this is occurring, yes it happens in UK society but predominantly in lower class society (not saying US is lower class, just less conservative on the whole).
 

rascal99v

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2012
Messages
262
Reaction score
152
Location
here and there
You also have to blame men for not effectively screening the woman before marriage. Any sketchy behavior they witness or stories the woman tells, these guys will let slide because they are "blinded by love". They feel it won't happen to them or she won't do anything to hurt them because she is so amazing. Well, a few years down the road they realize that she did do it and she wasn't so amazing after all.

A lot of party chicks who had their fun fvcking around will decide to settle down with a beta provider type guy. The dude will be a stable nice guy with a good income. Chicks gravitate towards those guys because the other guys just fvck them and treat them as hoes. The betas feel they have a "real prize" on their hands and give them what they want, which is stability they are looking for.

So, she suckers him into a marriage, pops out a kid or two, then starts to look around for somebody else. She's still young enough to attract lots of dudes so she starts cheating, then divorces him, and she gets payments from him to where she can start a new life without him. Then the guy sits there and scratches his head wondering how it all went wrong.

So many guys are eager just to jump into a marriage because they are afraid of being alone or losing the woman. Some chick shows them interest and they dive in head first without screening or dating the woman long enough. That is just being negligent and I have no sympathy for a guy like that.

Also, divorces are easy to obtain and are a common thing these days. A woman's friends plays a big part in it too. Some woman sees her friends divorcing and upgrading to a better man. She complains to them that her life is boring too and she is stuck in a rut. Her friends might tell her that she should think of doing the same. She looks at her husband who she feels is boring, got out of shape, doesn't make her feel the same way anymore. Then she follows suit just as her friends did with a divorce. Plus if she is online she has so many possibilities to chat and cheat with other men.

Someone said that the "community here is jaded". Well, if some guy got fvcked over in his marriage I'm pretty sure that he would be jaded. Not every woman is going to fvck you over, but you need to find the right one. This isn't a relationship where you just part ways and it's done. This is a marriage where sh1t is divvied up and kids can be involved, so you need to be careful who you choose to get married to. Being negligent about the whole thing is what will get you a divorce.

I know a chick in my neighborhood who made the rounds fvcking guys and partying her whole life. She's older than me but found an older dude in his mid 30's who is the beta provider type guy. She hasn't been with him that long and is already engaged. If only he knew some of the stories about his fiancee :crackup:. I give it about 5 years or less until she leaves him. When you committ to a woman like that you are asking for trouble. A relationship is bad enough but a marriage is fvcking stupid.
 

:-)

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2013
Messages
707
Reaction score
40
Spence said:
No need to be abrasive, your comments just struck me as jaded.

But I'd agree to an extent it is particularly in US society that this is occurring, yes it happens in UK society but predominantly in lower class society (not saying US is lower class, just less conservative on the whole).
you mad? you had better have cold hard statistics to back that claim up.
 

VikingKing

Banned
Joined
May 17, 2013
Messages
2,152
Reaction score
88
Location
America is best
I know the older gents will agree with me. Reject the basic assumption of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions!
 

usernamedox11

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2013
Messages
709
Reaction score
139
noobolgy said:
I know the older gents will agree with me. Reject the basic assumption of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions!
What?
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,903
Reaction score
8,639
Danger said:
Who is hand wringing?

Sharing information is hardly hand-wringing. I won't get married and I get all of the sex I want.
I will never get married again. I tried it once, it's not worth the risk. I enjoy having the LTR, but from now on I will have it on MY terms, not on the legal system's terms.

I DO think it is a shame that we are losing the nuclear family in all this. I think that is a legitimate loss. I like one of the comments to the article in the link you posted. The guy said something about the birth rate dwindling, and how feminism has done more to destroy the West than the jihadists ever could. Hard to argue with that.
 

usernamedox11

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2013
Messages
709
Reaction score
139
zekko said:
I will never get married again. I tried it once, it's not worth the risk. I enjoy having the LTR, but from now on I will have it on MY terms, not on the legal system's terms.

I DO think it is a shame that we are losing the nuclear family in all this. I think that is a legitimate loss. I like one of the comments to the article in the link you posted. The guy said something about the birth rate dwindling, and how feminism has done more to destroy the West than the jihadists ever could. Hard to argue with that.
Zekko, do you really feel it is impossible nowadays to have a real, lifelong partner with a female these days?

You've got a lot more experience than a lot of us, considering your age. I still have the perception that I can find someone who is marriage material as long as I do the proper screening. For example, don't LTR girls who go to bars, clubs, who enjoy dancing, come from broken families, and have had multiple sex partners, etc. Not very many girls like that nowadays, but I know they are out there, but they are certainly not close to your age.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,903
Reaction score
8,639
applegoo said:
Zekko, do you really feel it is impossible nowadays to have a real, lifelong partner with a female these days?

You've got a lot more experience than a lot of us, considering your age. I still have the perception that I can find someone who is marriage material as long as I do the proper screening. For example, don't LTR girls who go to bars, clubs, who enjoy dancing, come from broken families, and have had multiple sex partners, etc. Not very many girls like that nowadays, but I know they are out there, but they are certainly not close to your age.
No, I don't think it's impossible. But I don't think that there is such a thing as a sure thing. I got married in my early 30s, and I thought I had screened my wife well. She didn't go to bars, clubs, she wasn't a slvt, there was no divorce in her family. And I enjoyed the marriage until it went to sh!t. I don't want to get into the story again, but she seemed to have some sort of mental breakdown after about five years, and started acting very strangely and unreasonably. I take it as my fault that I let her p!ss me off. We just couldn't get along, and she insisted on filing for divorce.

When I got married, I was aware of the risks, but I figured I would try it once - and once only. If you want to do the same, I won't discourage you. Just be certain that you are aware of the risks and are willing to lose whatever it is you might stand to lose in the event of divorce. In other words, if you can't afford to get divorced, don't get married.

But certainly there are some people who stay married. You could be one of them. A lot of the successful marriages are hard to predict. My neice got married when she was 15, and she's been married now for over 30 years. I don't know what the secret is, I don't think there is any foolproof formula. In addition to using good judgement (and in some cases in place of it), you need to be lucky.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,280
Reaction score
234
Location
NYC
It's amazing how marriage is one of those mandatory things in life, something you just have to do. You have to get a college degree, you have to be in debt, you have to hate your job, and you have to be in a miserable marriage like everyone. But this is how it is! What else are you going to do? Are you a fag? Are you mentally disturbed? Don't you want kids?

We all see this situation and we all get these questions if we deviate from the master plan. Who's master plan? Sure as fück isn't my master plan! 9/10 guys look me right in the fücking eye and tell me marriage sucks. Straight out, no punches held. So why in Sir Satan's green hell would I do it? If 10,000 jerk offs jumps over a cliff to die on boney spikes, why would you do it as well?

Fück all those plans someone else made for me 3000 years ago. I like driving fast, staying up late on weekends, riding motorcycles, and I hate crying kids, nagging wives and fückhead in-laws. And I ain't changin my mind any time soon. I wanna travel. I wanna see some shıt. Yeah, and I'm the crazy aṣṣhole LOL. :up:
 

mbas44

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2013
Messages
74
Reaction score
6
VladPatton said:
It's amazing how marriage is one of those mandatory things in life, something you just have to do. You have to get a college degree, you have to be in debt, you have to hate your job, and you have to be in a miserable marriage like everyone. But this is how it is! What else are you going to do? Are you a fag? Are you mentally disturbed? Don't you want kids?

We all see this situation and we all get these questions if we deviate from the master plan. Who's master plan? Sure as fück isn't my master plan! 9/10 guys look me right in the fücking eye and tell me marriage sucks. Straight out, no punches held. So why in Sir Satan's green hell would I do it? If 10,000 jerk offs jumps over a cliff to die on boney spikes, why would you do it as well?

Fück all those plans someone else made for me 3000 years ago. I like driving fast, staying up late on weekends, riding motorcycles, and I hate crying kids, nagging wives and fückhead in-laws. And I ain't changin my mind any time soon. I wanna travel. I wanna see some shıt. Yeah, and I'm the crazy aṣṣhole LOL. :up:

I may feel differently one day who knows but this is pretty much how I feel as well.. Great post
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,280
Reaction score
234
Location
NYC
mbas44 said:
I may feel differently one day who knows but this is pretty much how I feel as well.. Great post

You never know, but for now, this is my story and I'm sticking with it. :yes: :rockon: :up:
 

JoeMarron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2012
Messages
1,311
Reaction score
63
Age
33
Mr Wright said:
Out of interest, why did you choose marriage rather than a long term relationship? I guess you're lucky that you have little to lose if does go downhill but what else was it?
Money, lol I'm broke. Seriously though with her job situation (military), it simply made more sense and would make things easier if we were married. That and the fact that she was already marriage material to begin with made the decision easy.

Danger said:
Just to be clear, I am not saying to play by women's rules. I am saying to not play at all.

The equivalent of men saying "no".


Women shifted the game by saying they didn't want to abide by their social contract. The problem is that Women still expected Men to abide by the social contract.

If women shift their duties, Men are allowed to do the same. If there is one thing Liberals and Conservatives can agree on, it is that Men should be punished for doing this. Thus we have the ever increasing vice crushing men and their freedoms until the system crashes and burns.

This is how the pendulum swings back and forth.
This post reminded me of an excellent article on a theory of what may happen if this trend continues. This guy thinks that the pendulum will start swinging back within this decade.

http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html
__________________
 

usernamedox11

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2013
Messages
709
Reaction score
139
zekko said:
No, I don't think it's impossible. But I don't think that there is such a thing as a sure thing. I got married in my early 30s, and I thought I had screened my wife well. She didn't go to bars, clubs, she wasn't a slvt, there was no divorce in her family. And I enjoyed the marriage until it went to sh!t. I don't want to get into the story again, but she seemed to have some sort of mental breakdown after about five years, and started acting very strangely and unreasonably. I take it as my fault that I let her p!ss me off. We just couldn't get along, and she insisted on filing for divorce.

When I got married, I was aware of the risks, but I figured I would try it once - and once only. If you want to do the same, I won't discourage you. Just be certain that you are aware of the risks and are willing to lose whatever it is you might stand to lose in the event of divorce. In other words, if you can't afford to get divorced, don't get married.

But certainly there are some people who stay married. You could be one of them. A lot of the successful marriages are hard to predict. My neice got married when she was 15, and she's been married now for over 30 years. I don't know what the secret is, I don't think there is any foolproof formula. In addition to using good judgement (and in some cases in place of it), you need to be lucky.
What I noticed with my parents is that they share a common purpose for their marriage:

-Raise kids right and center their life around them
-Work together to save money to give their kids for when they die
-In old age, they both want their grandchildren to be the at the center of their lives.


Maybe you also have to have common goals and purpose for getting married. The purpose for both of my parents in their marriage is their children.


I get what you are saying, and I will keep it in mind. I still need to realize the risks, even if everything seems right. Basically, I'll need to prepare for the worst but hope for the best if I ever go through with marriage.
 
Top