Z's rock bottom.Becoming a Social Warrior (Progress journal).

[Zion]

"You can either have result , or excuses. Never both".

The time for excuses is over.

I'm a 20 year old college student. I study Computer Science in Easter-Europe. I've posted my 'story' in another thread , so I'll keep it short here. Feel free to skip this part if you already know / don't care about it.

Who am I ?

I was a little unfortunate as a kid , considering I was getting beat up every single day of my childhood in my 'hood' , since I was 2-3 years younger than literally everyone else.

School

Having grown up like that for my first few years , school was pretty difficult at first. Socializing was not a strong point for me. I had very few friends and spend the vast majority of my time playing video games. I got fat doing so. I finally got fed up with it by the time I was 12. I decided to 'fvck' my social circle and find a different entourage. Easily enough , few months later I was 'accepted' in a new group. I was determined to not let anyone stomp all over me again , and with that determination I quickly became the cool kid that everyone looked up to. Soon enough , when I was 14 I made my first girlfriend. That was my first lesson on social proof. All the girls wanted the cool kid. She was also almost 3 years bigger than me. (*high fives past me*). Lasted a few months. (lol)

Highschool

When highschool started I dumped my old social group and my second girlfriend alike ,focusing on HS and making it count.Now this...this was my absolute all-time high. I was a champ(not chump,but a fvcking champ) in HS. Had tons of friends , few very close ones who are my bros to this day , and all the female attention one can desire.When I was 17-ish I met this amazing girl,2 years younger than me. Gorgeous hb9+ , who became my girlfriend literally the day I met her. Lost my virginity to her.

College

College came and I moved away about 250 km to continue my education. Remember gorgeous hb9 ? She still had HS to finish , so we were LD for the first year and a half of college. In all,a 3 year LTR that ended about 2 months ago on friendly terms. No disastrous heart-brake or betrayal on both sides.


Continue here if you skipped the above part.


So here's the kicker. I don't regret my relationship with her one bit , but I made a huge mistake that I did not realize until recently , after the brakeup.

I fvcked up my social life. Miserably so. For the past 1 and a half years I paid no attention to any college entourages and I was taking trips home every weekend to hang out with my HS bros and my girl. In doing so I isolated myself.

So here I am today. No friends in a city full of strangers , in god damn college man ! (Note that EasternEU colleges are more conservative. No fraternity system or any of that cool ****.)

For the first time in my life I feel scared , unworthy and confused. My social proof is literally 0 , so getting chicks is gonna be a huge challenge.

The time to act is now. I have no fvcking clue on how / what I'm gonna do , but sitting on my ass and whinning won't change sh!t for me.I am going use what I learned from the bible and kill the social anxiety that formed within.


I'm also on the no-fap for 50+ days. Which is immensely helpful to my core confidence and physical effort capacity (I'm a beast during my workouts).Downside is I've also not gotten laid at all since mid-January when I was still with my ex.I can feel the hunger within...I feel it grow... I am fvcking starving.

It's gonna be a tough road ahead. Of that there is no doubt. I can only hope I will find the strength to carry on ,because I feel like I'm on the verge of collapsing. This is not where the fvck I want to be and I will not fvcking settle for mediocrity.


I will post my progress in this thread whenever I find the time to do so. Success and failure alike, no bullsh1t. Absolutely none.

I hope some of you will be inspired to take action yourselves.Not next week , not tomorrow , not later. Now. Don't expect it to be easy or painless , but remember , it's well worth it.




*The next post will be of today.

 

[Zion]

Day 1

So today was the first day of messing around. I had no target objective because to be honest I didn't know if I had the bawlz to actually put to practice what I've learned in the DJ bible. Where do I start ? What do I do ? I had no clue.

In the end I decided to just make eye contact and smile to every chick I pass by on the street , on my way to today's lectures. Every chick.



*Note: Chicks will be referred to as Stranger.


Approach 1.
So I leave the house and 10 seconds later I see my first stranger walking around seeming lost. Before I can open her , she actually opens me asking for directions.

I give her the directions she asked for and start walking ahead. Coincidentally I was headed the same way so I urged myself to brake my comfort zone.

"You know what , I'm actually headed the same way. Walk with me." She joyfully complied.

This ended up in a 15-20 minute conversation that had no particular direction , but I was enjoying myself none-the-less.And so was she. I didn't ask for any numbers or stuff like that. I am taking baby steps. Approach is what I want to master first.

Approach 2.
Approached second stranger at the University main door.
Had 1-2 minute conversation as we were late for classes. Cute girl , was kinda nervous. IOI ? Guess so.



Approach 3.
My 3rd and weirdest experience today was spotting a group of 3 girls at the cafeteria.Notice one glancing my was so I just massively grab my balls , walk up and say:

"Hi , I'm the cool guy you've been eyeballing (pointing at one). *To her friends* - She always this obvious ?"


*My heart was pounding like I was losing my virginity all over again.I could barely keep my voice from shattering*


They immediately invite me to sit with them for lunch. I was already feeling like I was getting into more than I can handle , but I pushed myself through and accepted.

They told me all about themselves and what they were doing. I was trying to distribute attention and eye contact will all 3 , to avoid any awkwardness.Did pretty well.

Finished eating and excused myself out of there.Left my number with the target as my phone was dead. When I managed to turn it on I already had a text from her. Turns out they were on a pitstop , travelling in-between cities. They don't live around here.


Approach 4 (this was involuntary but pretty cool) .

A friend asked me to buy him some postcards , so I see this stand and a 28-ish chick there as a vendor. I wasn't planning for anything but then she asks:

Her:"Looking for something ?"
MeThis line I read somewhere in the bible immediately pops up)"Yeah...a girlfriend that can give an awesome massage. Got any ?"
Her:*giggles* You're something different.

*bla bla give me 10 cool postcards bla bla*

Her: I'm only gonna charge you for 10 , but I threw in an extra 2 just because you're cute.
I thank her ,smile , and move on.

That was pretty amazing to be honest. I'm being all social and already getting free sh1t ? I like where this is going :crackup: .



Also ,it turnes out no one will brutally murder you in cold blood if you smile at them. Got about 30 smiles in to strangers. Some smiled back , others gave me shy looks and smiles , a few looked straight down(looked like insecurity rather than no-interest). A couple of them actually ignored it. Like completely ignored it , totally un-phased. That was pretty fun to be honest. Made me laugh for some reason.

Pretty cool day,today. Looking forward to tomorrow.

 

[Zion]

Ok so I thought I should probably update a little bit since it's been a while. Will only review some approaches off the top of my head and add the rest later.

Entry 2:

So recently I've been actively working on two things:

1. My posture.
2. My voice projection.

These are the 2 of the most ever-lasting problems I've had for as long as I can remember.

1. My posture.

My posture used to be very very non-sexy. It's hard to even describe it ,but as of late I've been trying to stick my chest out , tuck my shoulders back and keep my head high.

I'm a very weird person of sorts when it comes to having confidence. I feel like I'm one of the sharpest / coolest mofos out there , but when I found myself in social situations that are somewhat out of my comfort zone (i.e. meeting new people) I immediately crumble down to feeling unworthy.Anyway,I guess I have a hard time showing my personality to strangers.I'm working on that too , but back to the topic at hand.

So besides the social downspike in confidence , I also have an eye condition called Photophoby. No,I'm not scared of taking pictures. Photophoby means my eyes just have an increased sensibility towards light. This makes it virtually impossible for me to smile on a sunny day or to not keep a frowning look on my face. Might be cause and effect or vice-versa but it kinda affects my mood long-term. Also , my body instinctively tries to protect my eyes by lowering my head. Which in turn leads to a perceived lack of confidence and unfriendly attitude.

So yeah,combine the two and you can imagine it's a pretty hard task to correct my form. But I'm getting there,and feeling better doing it too.

*Yes I do own sunglasses but they don't do all that much. It sucks,trust me.

2. Voice projection.

Since practically forever people have told me that I speak very fast and I am at times hard to understand. Now by being a fast talker , sometimes it's really really easy to crash and burn jokes which is always fun,right ? Besides that ,I've read an article that pretty much stated that people who tend to talk very fast do so due to lack of confidence. And then it hit me. It was exactly my problem. I always feel like I'm in a rush when talking to new people to avoid any form of awkwardness and so ,I try to get my point across ASAP so I can immediately bail. Retarded - I know , but it is what it is.
The feel can be described somewhere along the lines of :"Oh man she doesn't wanna hear this bull**** I have to say. I should hurry up before she can blow me off". Something like that.

So yeah ,I've been actively trying to speak a little bit slower , more pronounced and with a stronger tonus. Kinda amazing to see the results of properly projecting my voice in interactions. Reactions I get are getting better and better. Specially when I'm trying to be funny.


A'right,all that aside , on to some approaches:


Approach 1: The biatch !

Every had those really bad days when nothing works ? No ? Well,here's one for you.

I'm out at a sh!thole bar with a couple of 'new'-ish friends from uni , and a dude's girlfriend brings her bff along.
I only had to look at her once to realize she was a major league sloot. Problem is she wasn't even all that. I mean yea , big boobs , cute-ish face and allright ass , but just a couple of extra pounds and very very short. A damn minion !
So naturally I decided that I'm gonna hit on her because why the hell not,right ?

*Note: We were about to head to a club. Retarded theme , you had to have your face painted somehow or some accessories.
I was rocking a pair of Mickey Mouse ears. Why ?Because phuck you , that's why !:crackup:
Chick was dressed like a cat.
I'll add comments between **


*So I sit next to her and pretend to not know what she's dressed like , and then she turns,eye contact , go*
Z:Oh ****. I was gonna hit on you but I dislike *****. *Get it ? Cuz she's a cat,and I'm a mouse and.. no ? really ? nevermind..*
C(cat): Oh look. It's Edward Cullen. *Yes. She did. She did actually compare me to the guy from Twilight. What. The. Phuck.
Z: Holy chit if you're gonna insult me at least say something about my mother. But don't go all out on me like that.
C: No no , Edward is cute.
Z: I still can't even take that as a compliment.
C: Don't.I didn't say you were cute , you just look gay.


I started laughing at that and went to get some drinks. This chick was a major mind-phuck. She was constantly giving me IOI's and then blowing me off if I attempted something. Later on in the club she was constantly making out with random guys but she was making an effort to do it in front of me every single time. I was so confused , seriously , wtf ? )


Approach 2: The "Getting her a drink ?"

Got to the club , danced a bit ,and I go to the bar to get a drink. Saw HB9 body (she was also dressed as a cat), went in.

Z: Hi.
HB: Hi.
Z: You know what ? Phuck this. I'm not even gonna lie. Your ass is amazing. I just had to get that off my chest.
HB: Wow..you don't waste any time,do you ?
Z: Don't worry ,I don't always rush to finish. *grin*.
*she was pretty shocked at my directness , but I've been reading a bit about high-energy environments and how you should escalate immediately , so I gave it a shot*
HB: You could at least buy me a drink first ,you know.
*for a second I remembered my blue-pill days when I'd be showering her with alcohol at this point*
Z: Sure.I'll buy you a drink.
Z: *To bartender* Hey man. Gin&Tonic for me and a glass of water for the kitty.
*her face was priceless. The afc would've bought her anything , and I'm sitting here getting her a glass of water*
HB: *bursts out laughing* Holy f..! I love you so much right now.
Z: Yeah...it would never work. See, I have issues with *****. *fvck it,it's a great joke , I wanted to try it again*.
HB: Oh,little mouse ,this ***** is gonna eat you up.
*OH HELL YES!*
*Proceed to wild make-out*

Some friend of her appears out of nowhere and grabs her away before I can even realize what happens. I lose her in the crowd.


Approach 3: The actual biatch.

Night is already late by now. I see a hb8.5 on the dancefloor and I go in. We dance and talk a bit. This post is getting too long so I'll skip the intro and get to the fun part.

What basically happens is I get a makeout relatively fast and she's reaaaally going with it so I'm thinking of pulling her home. I tell her to follow me outside the club a second.

As we walk towards the exit:

Random guy: Hey man,she's a slut !
*dafuq ?*
HB: So how much are you willing to spend on an amazing night ?
Z: Wait what ?
HB: Yeah , if you wanna take me home it's gonna cost.
Z: You..wh..h..what the phuck ?
HB: I'm an escort dude.
Z: You're joking right ?
HB: No,I'm serious.
Z: Then why the phuck where you all up on me on the dancefloor ? You got a reputation here or what the phuck is the deal ?
HB: Yeah , I assumed you know.
Z: Oh man I'm gonna remember this a loooong time.
HB: So you up for it or not ?
Z: *laugh and walk away*.


---


Weird day man...This was a couple of weeks ago.

Anyway I realized I can't post about every single approach because that would take way too much time , but I will keep this updated with the stuff I consider interesting or fun.

I see these journals as a great way of gaining some knowledge for the guys that are even newer to this than me , so that's why I try to explain what's going through my head at times.

I'll probably include more of the "changes" I'm actively making in future posts , like the voice projection and form above.

Feedback is always welcome,btw.

 

[Tyler FC]

Nice read ,man.

PS: I'm also from EastEU .

 

[chunders1]

HB: You could at least buy me a drink first ,you know.
*for a second I remembered my blue-pill days when I'd be showering her with alcohol at this point*
Z: Sure.I'll buy you a drink.
Z: *To bartender* Hey man. Gin&Tonic for me and a glass of water for the kitty.
*her face was priceless. The afc would've bought her anything , and I'm sitting here getting her a glass of water*

FLIPPING AWESOME HAHA

 

[Zion]

Thanks for the replies .


@Tyler , where from exactly ?

 

[Tyler FC]

I've sent you a pm.