Zero to.........?

[drjekyll]

Some people have asked about the story of how I turned my fortunes with women around. Hm.

Ok, well here's what happened.

Just over a year ago now I broke up with a girl called Charlotte. She was a 10 in looks. Easily. A perfect 10. She was also an amazing person, full of life and hope, drive and passion. Amazing in bed. Just incredible. Very well travelled. She was also an athlete, and had set world records and run marathons. Her father was a millionaire industrialist, but she was amazingly down to earth. I could go on at length, but I think you get the point. She just ticked every single box there was to tick. She ticked them all. She ticked them all twice.

I dumped her because I knew the relationship was dead. It didn't **** me up emotionally, not in a normal way. I just reached a point inside myself, as I walked away from the Starbucks on Tottenham Court Road where we broke up where I realised I could no longer accept the fact that the women in my life that meant the most to me were the only ones I couldn't keep. And that's not an academic issue - it means walking away from a woman you'd have happily married, which is what I did. I loved her, dude. All my heart, all my soul and all the other cliches you can think of. I loved her.

About two months after that, I was sitting in a Starbucks in Angel in London. I was outside reading a book on history - strangely enough it was the exact book where I discovered the concept of Paradiastole, which I wrote my first Advanced thread about on mASF.

A girl sat down next to me. Beautiful. Model-hot. Really. I wanted to speak with her, but I didn't know how. She was reading something, and I kept thinking - should I ask her what it is? Would that be too obvious? What would I say to her? Would I come across as awkward? Would it be humiliating? How would I do it?

All that ****. I know you understand. Anyway, I sat next to her for something like two hours, not saying a word, just pretending that I didn't notice her. She never looked at me, not that I could see. I didn't look at her.

Anyway, at 7pm, the barista came out of the shop and told us to finish our drinks. I turned to her and said -

"****. Looks like we're in trouble."

She practically exploded into conversation. She held it up for me. She talked and talked, and the asked me out to get a glass of wine with her.

As we were off I learned that she was from Croatia, but she'd been raised in Australia. She was more beautiful than I'd realised at first - incredibly fine bone structure. Very beautiful in a classical, greek statue kind of way. Just awesome.

We walked for a time and she mentioned it was her last night in London, her last night in the UK. I found myself jabbering **** at her. She was starting to get uncomfortable. ****.

We got to the pub and ordered drinks. She was hot. We started chatting. She chilled out, and started putting her hand on my leg but I didn't know what to do. I tried to be cool. I tried to break the distance between us but every time she'd show interest in me I froze, and when I tried to reciprocate it all just seemed so forced, so fake.

As we chatted, and I ****ed it all up, I could see that she was losing interest. I couldn't stop it. I tried, but it was like trying to catch water in a sieve. Eventually, she made her excuses and left.

Walking home that night, I felt so down on myself it was unbelievable. It was obvious that she had wanted me. She'd sat next to me for two ****ing hours waiting for me to open a conversation with her. She'd asked me out for wine. It was her last night in London. She wanted me, and she wanted me for sex. I'd taken a gift, and ****ed it up. I'd ****ed it completely. I was in the kind of mood where a person does something stupid. They say that prayer is the last refuge of a scoundrel, and as a scoundrel at the end of my tether, I began to pray to a God I'd ignored all my life. "Please," I said, "please, please help me. I don't have a clue what is going on here. I don't know how to change this. I hate this. I hate my life like this. I hate myself. I feel so worthless, so pitiful and powerless. If there is anyone up there, anyone at all, be you Jesus, Allah or ****ing Zeus, please ****ing help me. I can't take this **** anymore."

The next day I walked down into the tube on my way to work, and there in front of me was a massive poster for a book by a guy called Neil Strauss. I'd read something he'd written once, Marilyn Manson's autobiography, but this was something else. I stared at the poster for long enough to memorise the title - my memory is appalling - and the author. That lunchtime I grabbed a copy of The Game from a Waterstones near Liverpool Street Station in London. I bagged a copy of the Layguide as well. Sneaky bastard that I am.

They blew my mind. I'd never thought about it like this before. I look back now at the Layguide and see it as, technically speaking, a pile of **** - it's all so simplistic, condescending and opinionated - but at the time it put me on a new course. It gave me a new universe of knowledge and ideas to number-crunch, and a promise: if I just put in the time and effort to make this happen, I really could actually become better with women in a real and lasting way. Fair ****ing play. For all its faults, it was and remains a powerful book.

****. Cool. This was it. And every day from that day till this, I threw all the emotional frustration of 25 years of being **** with chicks into this project. I was a man possessed. A man obsessed. I ditched all of my work on philosophy and the mind, humanity, good and evil - everything. I just worked at game. I got out there.

I remember the first time I used Style's Jealous Girlfriend opener. I was ****ting my pants. It was on a random chick who asked me for a lighter - in all fairness she was probably opening me - but it worked. She was pretty. Not amazing, but pretty enough to scare the **** out of me. And yet we chatted. She was really interested. Awesome. ****ing awesome. It worked. I could do it - I could talk to girls.

Ha - not quite. It was ****ing scary. I used to go out alone. I had no friends I could trust to wing me at the time. My flatmates were a combination of saps and chicks. Because I'd worked in finance (12 hours of cutthroat ****tiness a day) for the last two years or so, I had no friends outside of work, and no friends inside of work wanted to go out picking up chicks. So yeah - all alone in London, the least friendly city in Europe - the least friendly continent in the world.

I set myself a goal of 5 approaches a night. That doesn't sound like much, but to me it was huge. The first one was always intense. The second, always worse. The third was always slightly better. By the time I got to the fourth, it was weird. I'd seem to chill out a little. After 5 it was no big deal. And yes, I got blown out. Not usually in a nasty way, but sometimes some ***** would take pleasure in making me feel like ****. I'd take the pain. I'd grit my teeth. I'd keep punching. That's the best advice I can give you if you want to defeat the demons you have with women, or anything else. Just keep punching.

 

[drjekyll]

That's the thing about fighting. Sure, skill is important. Sure strength matters. But endurance can overcome anything. It doesn't matter what it is - as long as you're throwing punches after the other guy has stopped throwing punches, you've won the fight. Take Britain during WW2 - in 1941, Hitler had

a) Beaten France in 6 weeks.
b) Conquered the entirety of Eastern Europe
c) Invaded Russia and annihilated massive swathes of the Red Army in every engagement.
d) Forced the British into a humiliating retreat at Dunkirk where we'd lost something in the region of 100 000 men killed or captured (out of a 400 000 strong army which was all we had), and forced us to abandon practically every single tank, artillery piece, APC, jeep, truck rifle and bullet that we had on the beaches of Northern France.

So what did Churchill do? What was his grand strategy? What was his masterplan?

He kept punching. He just did not give in. That was it. The British Cabinet were practically unanimous in wanting to discuss peace terms. He just said no. He just refused to give in, in the face of all logic and reason.

Don't give up. That is the first thing. Just keep punching.

Secondly - the more I learned, the more I realised how **** I had been. The more all the girls who'd left me for reasons I could not see stopped being mysterious sources of pain in my life, and spurs to my efforts. I could see now where my mistakes lay - not all of them, but enough of them to know that the problems I had with chicks went much, much deeper than I'd ever imagined. So what was I supposed to do? How could I give up? If I did, it would mean giving up on ever being any good at this, because if the last 25 years of my life proved nothing else they proved beyond doubt that just being blown around like a leaf in a hurricane hoping that luck would throw me a bone had taught me nothing. No. No longer would I be that leaf. I would be the hurricane.

I would be the ****ing hurricane.

It took me three months of this to get laid. I am a good looking guy. Next to me, David DeAngelo looks like Stephen Hawking. Haha. Not really, but I'm a better looking guy than him, and he's probably the most classically good-looking guy in the seduction community. Every available night. 5 approaches at least. Sometimes as many as ten. It took three months for me to pull one girl.

Three months is a long ****ing time. It is a long time to face rejection, relentless rejection, and keep punching. I did. How? How did I square it with myself? How did I keep myself sane? And how did Captain Jack escape from that island?

Aye, well I'll tell ye.

Two things. Firstly - by any means necessary. Malcolm X. Malcolm X once said that racial equality should be achieved by any means necessary. That is how you need to keep your spirits alive. By any means necessary. Just so you know - DeAngelo really helps, his seminars are great at building up your resolve to win, and your belief in ultimate victory. He tells you that it can be done - in fact, he shows you that it can be done. He did it himself. So did loads of the guys he interviews. He gives good advice too - I really rate him. He's like the big brother you always needed. Stop being a wuss, he says. That's good advice. Very good advice. Hard to implement, but fundamentally important. I rate DeAngelo. I'd recommend his stuff to anyone.

Secondly, you can look at a tricky approach in two ways. As massively negative, or just really positive no matter what the outsome because you are facing your terror head on and saying to it "**** you, terror. **** you till you die."

The most extreme example of this I can think of was one time in a bar called The Village in Muswell Hill. There were a group of... oooooooooooo... about ten honeys all sitting down. A seated 10-set. That is a hard approach. I sat across the room from them, sizing it up. Psyching myself up. **** it. I knew I was going to do it. I knew I was.

And yes, I approached. And yes, I held in there through a withering hail of ****-tests, *****-shields and flak. And yes, I got blown out. And yes I walked away. But I held my head high, because **** it - that took balls. It took balls just to attempt. I felt like a hero. In retrospect, the hottest one there could have been mine, because even though her friends butchered me, I stood my ground and had the strength of character to approach in the first place. I saw her across the street a few weeks later, and she gave me a megawatt smile.

And yes, I bottled it and didn't talk to her. But I went out that night, and approached till it felt like my heart would break.

Strength of character is a choice. It doesn't come down to a choice, it doesn't contain a choice. It IS a choice. Get busy living, or get busy dying. This is the only choice we monkeys ever face in any situation. Get busy living, or get busy dying. You face that choice in every situation. It is the only choice you'll ever really make - everything else is just the specifics of how that fundamental choice plays itself out in context. It is the beating heart of free will. Go on or give up. Fight or fold. Live or die.

And yes - I wanted to surrender. I wanted to fold. There were times when I came close, but always I knew that giving up on this meant giving up on myself. Because you see, although I wanted to surrender, to give up, to fold - I never wanted to die. I refused. I'd faced down death before, more times than most people alive today, certainly in the western world. There have been times in my past when I stood twice a day for month after month, just staring at the twin silver streaks of the tube rails on my way to and from work, knowing that I was just one step away from ending the terrible and ceaseless horrors that filled my mind. But I never did. I came close. Very close. A random man saved my life once by literally pulling me back from the brink. But I never took that step.

I have always wanted to live.

And so I took the only option I had. And when I choose to do something, I do it. I do it with every atom of strength at my disposal. If my chest were a cannon, I would have shot my heart upon the demons in my mind. Why? Because it seemed obvious to me that this was the only possible exit. This was the only possible escape. Nothing else had any real promise. It was this, or nothing. This or unhappiness for the rest of my life and whatever fate awaited me afterward. That is the choice which I believe we all face. I did not fight as hard as I did because I am intrinsically more passionate than others. I fought so hard because I saw the choice so clearly. I am fighting still. I will never stop.

My abilities with women, as I believe all the abilities of anyone who seriously tries to master anything does, progressed in fits and starts. Mainly I was just punching. Just punching and seeing no obvious results. Maybe I'd have a good night and the groups of girls would open easily. The next night I would face an impenetrable shield of disinterest whoever I approached. I just kept punching. Then every now and then, I'd learn something new, notice something new, do something differently or whatever, and I'd be at a new level.

Firstly it was approaching. Mystery and Style were my mentors in this. I used their lines, their stories. But I couldn't do anything with the interaction once it had happened.

Then I found DeAngelo. All of a sudden I could get girls attracted to me, but I couldn't do anything with the attraction.

Then I found Juggler. And things started to swim into focus.

Then I found Gunwitch. And Gunwitch set me free.

And that, in a nutshell, is the story of my last year.

Ever Yours,

Jekyll

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

Excellent.
You seem like you can contribute alot here and help us who are where you came from and desire to be where you are.

 

[Radiator]

Your story is very inspiring, thanks for sharing!

It would be interesting to hear more about the learning process, like the last part where you explain how different people helped you forward. Some examples of how you couldn't do anything with the attraction at the "DeAngelo stage", and how did Juggler and Gunwitch help you in specific situations?

 

[LegendBoy]

You were saying something about Neil Strauss The Game .... Whats the book about? Bit of a summary.

 

[drjekyll]

You were saying something about Neil Strauss The Game .... Whats the book about? Bit of a summary.

Are you kidding?

Seriously, no offence intended, but this is the biggest thing that's come out of online pickup in the world, ever.

Neil Strauss goes by the pickup alias Style, and was Mystery's wing. He went from being a total AFC (in the common parlance) to being voted top PUA in the world.

It is a brilliant book. He writes excellently. Everyone interested in this stuff would be interested in reading it.

 

[drjekyll]

Your story is very inspiring, thanks for sharing!

It would be interesting to hear more about the learning process, like the last part where you explain how different people helped you forward. Some examples of how you couldn't do anything with the attraction at the "DeAngelo stage", and how did Juggler and Gunwitch help you in specific situations?

Sure.

I always felt that what the M3 model (Mystery's model) gives you is a framework, a structure. You can fill it with routines and lines, but I always hated that. I wanted to fill it with something else.

DeAngelo's stuff gives you an attitude. You have an attitude of not giving yourself away to women. His work is excellent and if you haven't read Double Your Dating, buy it and read it. Just do it.

But...... attitude is volatile. Showing a chick attitude will usually get her interested in SOME way, but if you only show her attitude, she'll think you're an arrogant prick and leave.

Juggler is all about being sweet, sexy, charming. He basically maps the dynamics of charisma and how to use it. Brilliant man. Brilliant book. If you can get his first book, Conversational JiuJitsu, do that. If not, read his entire archive and buy whatever you can off him. There are also lots of free podcasts on the Charisma Arts website. That's his company.

Here's the link to the free stuff:

http://www.charismaarts.com/community/podcasts

Cool.

Gunwitch is an abrasive mother****er, but his work on internal game is the best out there. He can sort you out inside. And he gives his stuff away for free. His archive is on mASF. Check out the post entitled Gunwitch Method 2. It's awesome.

Hope this helps.

J

 

[AlekNovi]

thank you so much dr. jekyll! Appreciated :rockon:

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

good job summing it up guys


the basic lesson here is to take pieces from EVERY "Guru", rather than just sticking to 1 method. take bits and pieces and plug them in

 

[ElChoclo]

Sorry Jekyll but you really shouldn't be running your infomercials here.

 

[Phyzzle]

DrJekyll, I'm not sure if there's anything to learn for you here. This isn't a PUA site, but a full-on life improvement/attitude adjustment thing, based especially on those who have trouble with women.

That means only a small fraction of us are guys 22-35 looking to be good at pickup. We got guys struggling with drugs or wiling away years of their life with BPD psycho gf's, wondering what to do. But mostly, it's 14-16 year old kids with severe Asperger's or social anxiety disorder, who don't have the faintest clue what's supposed to be normal behavior, especially around females.

Check out the DJBible and the front page for real info. I post in the forums for fun, and to help people as messed up as I used to be. The only thing I've learned in the past few months, is handing a chick a little card that says, "smile if you want to sleep with me". Hillarious!

You said you might help your game here, but there's not a whole lot of PUA kung fu around this place.

 

[drjekyll]

What you've acomplished is great and all, but if you were to take out away your looks in the equation, you'd have gotten NOWHERE. That's right, due to your looks, anything near DJ-ish you do is amplified. You would never ever ever ever have gotten that HB10 girl if you were average looking, never ever.

That's just not true, mate. Sorry.

Just not true at all.

 

[drjekyll]

Sorry Jekyll but you really shouldn't be running your infomercials here.

I have no financial stake in any of the things I have recommended here.

 

[drjekyll]

DrJekyll, I'm not sure if there's anything to learn for you here. This isn't a PUA site, but a full-on life improvement/attitude adjustment thing, based especially on those who have trouble with women.

This is exactly why this site is so important for me, and so well suited to my approach to this whole thing. I take exactly this approach to the issues I have with women.

That means only a small fraction of us are guys 22-35 looking to be good at pickup. We got guys struggling with drugs or wiling away years of their life with BPD psycho gf's, wondering what to do. But mostly, it's 14-16 year old kids with severe Asperger's or social anxiety disorder, who don't have the faintest clue what's supposed to be normal behavior, especially around females.

Well hell, we're all people. I hope I can help someone out there. I hope you guys can help me.

Check out the DJBible and the front page for real info.

I have, it's excellent. Allen Thompson is a genius. There's an awful lot of stuff here that is truly excellent.

I post in the forums for fun, and to help people as messed up as I used to be. The only thing I've learned in the past few months, is handing a chick a little card that says, "smile if you want to sleep with me". Hillarious!

*puts head in hands*

I know what you mean.

You said you might help your game here, but there's not a whole lot of PUA kung fu around this place.

Good. I'm not really big into specific tactics and routines anyway.

Much love,

J

 

[ObieJuan]

What you've acomplished is great and all, but if you were to take out away your looks in the equation, you'd have gotten NOWHERE. That's right, due to your looks, anything near DJ-ish you do is amplified. You would never ever ever ever have gotten that HB10 girl if you were average looking, never ever.

yes, because average looking people can't have confidence/game as well as being loaded with cash and have a great personality...unpossible! I mean, what HB10 could possibly see anything in a guy like that? Take any guy with the aforementioned qualities and he will pull HB10s. I'm not saying the OP is rich I'm simply refuting your statement that average looking guys can't pull the hottest girls(which is of course, subjective).

I would venture to say there have probably been guys with less money, average looks and great personalities that have slept with dimes. From what I gather this guy's character he could easily get those girls even with average looks because he believes in himself that this is possible. If you have self-limiting beliefs you will never grow past the barriers you have set for yourself. I don't know how you could possibly be a Senior Don Juan and make the claim above.

drjekyll, are you seeing much better results approaching after your initial first success? Thanks for sharing, btw.

 

[drjekyll]

drjekyll, are you seeing much better results approaching after your initial first success? Thanks for sharing, btw.

Good God, yes. I'm having the kind of success that I never dreamt of. Everything seems so clear to me, so simple, and even though I'm not a zen master of seduction, and I never want to be, I genuinely feel like an attractive man.

It makes so much difference it's almost unreal.

I love my life. I've never really been able to say that about myself before.

Amazing.

 

[ObieJuan]

Good God, yes. I'm having the kind of success that I never dreamt of. Everything seems so clear to me, so simple, and even though I'm not a zen master of seduction, and I never want to be, I genuinely feel like an attractive man.

It makes so much difference it's almost unreal.

I love my life. I've never really been able to say that about myself before.

Amazing.

I'm currently reading "The Game" since I was able to get it in PDF format but now it looks like there will be some others I will have to get as well

So, do you exercise regularly? I've been trying to eat better/more food and exercise a few times a week; it has really helped with my confidence, and posture as well as made my mind a bit sharper(perception, maybe?). I can only guess if you're not then you would have to beat women off you with a baseball bat

 

[drjekyll]

I'm currently reading "The Game" since I was able to get it in PDF format but now it looks like there will be some others I will have to get as well

So, do you exercise regularly? I've been trying to eat better/more food and exercise a few times a week; it has really helped with my confidence, and posture as well as made my mind a bit sharper(perception, maybe?). I can only guess if you're not then you would have to beat women off you with a baseball bat

No - I never exercise. I eat badly. I spend time either sitting at a computer, chilling with my friends or out on the town.

You're right though, exercise is really important. I used to do some Kung Fu, so I still have a residual muscle structure from that that I'm not ashamed of, but it's nothing amazing.

I do need to do more exercise though.

And give up smoking.

Ah well...

:rockon: