Zen and the art of DJ Parenting

[Mr.Positive]

She learns by our example which is vastly superior to any type of strict disciplinarianism because she not only sees the end result but garners our respect by walking the walk..

Great post Karma!

Growing up, my father was a role model to me. He stood by his integrity and instilled values in my life that I can not thank him enough. Of course, my mom was right there by his side..

Being a good father, and leading by example, is the hope for our future, IMO. If more men were stand-up fathers, and lead..our children, being the future, would have the strength to lead as well.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I practice discipline through example, which I succinctly stated in my opening. Allowing well constructed children freedom to make decisions based on rationality and not emotion is a vital tool in my toolbox and one which I wield like Thor's Hammer.

Giving kids free reign to do what they want will create monsters or worse, hippies.

This is where we have problems with many of the kids today. In an effort to raise children parents either attempt to control their children to the point of stifling their creativity or give them more freedom than which they can control and they run amok. Not too many parents understand how to walk in balance between the two. Good job Karma.

 

[KarmaSutra]

It seems that today's parents do not understand the value and importance of discipline. Your child does not need your friendship as much as the guidance and boundaries you set for them.

Great observation. I struggled early on with being more of a friend to my daughter than her Father. Once I decided to work on myself and dedicate my heart to becoming the best MAN I can be so that I respect myself, that dedication and discipline filtered down to her.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Being a good father, and leading by example, is the hope for our future, IMO. If more men were stand-up fathers, and lead..our children, being the future, would have the strength to lead as well.

This is absolutely critical in the overall character and moral development with our children. So many boy-men will drop a load in a woman and then 10 months later sh!t themselves because they had no proper Mentor role in thier lives.

 

[penkitten]

Great observation. I struggled early on with being more of a friend to my daughter than her Father. Once I decided to work on myself and dedicate my heart to becoming the best MAN I can be so that I respect myself, that dedication and discipline filtered down to her.

wonderfully stated
however, i seem to have the other problem... knowing when to treat them like they have gotten a little older instead of staying on their butts like they are smaller and still learning the basics of life.
sometimes i forget that they have aged a little and its time to step up the learning process to other things.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Not too many parents understand how to walk in balance between the two.

It is a very fine line. Congruence with who I am has helped quite a bit.

 

[Last Man Standing]

LMS makes some good points, though his views are a bit irrational.

These are not my views, just reality of our nature as men, and what I say is very rational!

I'm merely saying that the male's genetic make-up already contains instructions that gives him the power to rule over his wife, child, and family, and no one else needs to determine or influence the child's values, except the progenitor of his/ her genes!. So I'm telling Karma to go against this artificially created, britney Spears / Paris Hilton / Hannah Montana (or whatever that hor's name is) , bombardment of promiscuous images which have been created to take the child's mind away from his/her parents direction This is mind control - through images, mu-sick, and the word! Because of the repetitiveness and scope of this trash, that no one cares about, it is obviously a purposeful agenda!!!

The parents are the only ones that should instill values into their child's mind - all others are usurpers!!

The most devious of these usurpers are the schools who are teaching sex "education" - this is not the purview of educational institutions - they neither have the right nor the authority to usurp the responsibilities of the father/mother!!! There is no such thing as "sex education" - learning how to put a condom on a banana, and giving birth control pills to 12 year olds WITHOUT the parents knowledge or permission and having abortions WITHOUT the parents knowledge is not education!!!!! It is a direct assault to usurp the power of the parents!!

Obama and Hillary said they want to bring sex "education" to kindergarteners!!! How brazen is this!!!!! And Homosexuals are going to grade schools teaching children that homosexuality is natural and having two daddies is OK!! If it is so evident that homos are natural do you need to forcefully teach it on children? NO!! Do we teach them it is ok to have a mommy and daddy? NO, because this is self evident to a child!!!

But what gives these devious minds the authority to control the mind of your children under the guise of "education" or "entertainment"??? The parents do!!! The parents have forfeited their power as parents and passively have allowed these institutions and corporations to control their child's mind, by keeping them in schools that teach these perversions and by letting their children watch filth on TV and movies, and buying sexually promiscuous music!! Why are the children being more sexually promiscuous then past generations and having children out of wedlock?? Because the parents have failed as parents and have let the parenting of values be determined by the propagators of filth!!


par·ent

1. One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.

par·ent·ing

1.The rearing of children:

rear·ing,

1. To care for (children or a child) during the early stages of life; bring up.

2. To lift upright; raise.

What do we need to live? We need provisions that nourish our body and shelter that protects us from those things that would harm us!! Men have the muscle physically and the mind power (mental capacities) to do this! He also has a tenacious and fierce spirit that is used when necessary!! The woman does not have enough or as much of these qualities. to be a leader. Who is to lead? The weak or the strong? The discipline comes from the father!! And today, it seems that the father is disappearing from the home!! Or if they are in the home, then they have given the power to rule to the mother!! A mother is a better nurturer than a disciplinarian, as designed genetically!!

Fingz, Eyedogg, I'll answer your question in my next post.

 

[penkitten]

lms, i do not believe children that young should be in sex ed.. but i do believe that if they learned at a proper age about sex, pregnancies and stds in a proper way, that there would be less teenage pregnancies and stds going around in high school.
right now they teach high schoolers that abstinence is the only way, they are not teaching the consequences of sex.
parents are not doing their jobs when they leave it up to the school to teach, but we can not police them and make them teach their kids the proper sex education, so matters have to come to surface and be taught in the public school system.

i think in early elementary they should be taught that if anyone touches them in a private place, that they must tell someone immediately even if it is a friend or loved one. we must allow children to break the cycle of abuse by confiding in anyone that will listen.

i think that in middle school when children hit puberty, they should be taught what is happening to their bodies, what to expect to happen next and what is appropriate behavior for their age.

i think when they reach high school, the health class and biology class should start teaching sex ed in a level that they can comprehend.
the old "just say no" act does not seem to be working... and offers very little in terms of consequences of actions.
the "my daddy gave me a ring so i will remain a virgin" ceremony is not working either.

i know that you agree with me on this, whereas we do not want it taught too young, but it must be taught at some point ... idea train here.

bush wanted abstinence only and hillary wants it taught in preschool. there must be a median.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Penkitten, it all sounds good but the reality is that since they have been teaching SEX ED, sexual promiscuity has increased dramatically - it actually has the opposite effect - it creates a climate that it is ok to explore your sexuality as long as you "protect" yourself! This was their agenda - the behavior scientist knew this and implemented it in schools and TV!! It is obvious that teenage sex increased, along with pregnancies and abortions, since this campaign of "awareness" and "education"- do research and look at statistics of the last 60 years. When I was 20 years old I saw this coming - I knew this was going to increase teenage, out of wedlock sex, and not lessen it! And now we have broken families and - one where we don't even know the person who is the father of our nieces and nephews, and no father in the household, and thus, no discipline in the household!

Regardless, it is not my tax dollars or strangers to force an agenda on other's children -- they are taking the minds of the children away from their parents! This is so glaringly obvious - have you seen MTV lately? Their goal is to increase sexual activity outside of marriage by bombarding the children wherever they are with sex, sex, sex, sex -- it's everywhere -school, music, TV, magazines, malls, clothing outlets, advertisement, bus ads, billboard ads, theaters,...even in the news!!! where isn't it?

Exposure to sexual content leads to sex... unless you scare them out of it..http://www.rand.org/pubs/research_briefs/RB9068/index1.html

 

[Last Man Standing]

If we all followed the code of nature and adhered to LMS' principles, we would be married at the mating age (13-16). This is the age that nature decided we should be capable of reproducing. But our social and technological evolution is outpacing our physical. This particular detail is not about feminists or the "Hor Matrix". It's about the fact that we no longer die at 40 or have this urgency to mate so young. Society has a bigger learning curve now too.. its not about hunting and planting crops anymore, even though that's what our genes are most accustomed to. Our orientation period is much longer now, thanks to how complicated everything is.

Yes, this is part of my unnatural order of things thread. The female is ready to have children once she starts her menstrual cycle so this tells us that she is ready - there is nothing wrong with teenagers having sex -- this has been the norm for thousands of years - BUT what has changed is that in the past they had husbands who were committed to their offspring and provided for his wife!! The parents also were involved in who the their daughter was to marry -- she was not going to marry another 13 year old boy - she was to marry a man who could provide for her - back then it was farming - the father was the person to determine if he was worthy of his daughter. Yes "Father Knows Best" was an appropriate title for that 1950's show because as I stated - the father was given the physical and mental genetic authority to rule the family and its' affairs, in every matter - because he knew best of what it takes to provide for and secure a family's future and so he looked to see if his daughter's suitor had the mettle to perform his masculine duties to ensure his daughter's best chance for survival once the father let's her go and gives the responsibility to another man to take his place!!

It is the same today -at the father level and genetically speaking - nothing has changed at this level. It has changed regarding how we fend for our survival since we no longer farm our own land and toil for a living - but it still stands that the man must first be able to provide for his wife and child before he takes on the responsibility of marriage. It may take longer and more education or skill sets but he can still marry a teenage girl - in every country - some require a parent's signed permission.And the father still approves of his daughter's suitor - but men have fail today in this regard - and this is why there are more divorces, because instead of it being a union of a higher purpose where the father is involved, it has become a union of emotions and sexual pleasure!! The father still "gives" the daughter away - but it is now merely an empty symbolic gesture at her wedding, instead of being a deep concern for his daughter and a heavy weighing of her suitor's mettle and masculinity who has the ability to secure and provide for her future!!

Today, they have taken this natural coming together for the higher purpose of family and reproduction - to coming together to have sex for the mere sake of having pleasure! This is a corruption of her (not his) genetic self and what it produces is destruction of the family - as stated in my posts above. This is the reality of what has happened, this is past tense, not my opinion, it exists today! Since we started propagating that sex was ok outside of marriage to pleasure ourselves, if it feels good then do it mantra, then we have corrupted our genetic purpose and the female has corrupted her femininity and thus her value as a wife and a mother is diminished!!!

And no fingz, people lived just as long as we do now, if not longer - they did not just die at 40. There were diseases that wiped out many, at a mass scale, and so it heavily skews the statistics - and the diseases were only in certain parts of the world - not all of humanity!

 

[eyedogg]

Looking forward to your reply on our question (kids - I believe) LMS.

And, I SINCERLY do APPRECIATE reading your point of view LMS! Having grown up under a Discipliniarian Father figure who provided and lead his household, is something that I feel extremely happy for looking back. Yeah it was tough have rules and discipline exacted as a teenager, however, it ingrains the behavior so that it is natural at my age to want o replicate that.

Regards,
eyedogg

 

[Señor Fingers]

And no fingz, people lived just as long as we do now, if not longer - they did not just die at 40. There were diseases that wiped out many, at a mass scale, and so it heavily skews the statistics - and the diseases were only in certain parts of the world - not all of humanity!

Ummm.. no.

Average Lifespan of Humans Throughout History

Neanderthal: 20 years
Upper Paleolithic: 33 years
Neolithic: 20
Bronze Age: 18
Classical Greece: 20-30
Classical Rome: 20-30
Pre-Colombian North America: 25-35
Medieval Britain: 20-30
Early 20th Century: 30-40
Current world average: 67

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_expectancy

The rest of your post was bang on though.

PS - Can I assume you don't want to talk about the fatherhood issue?

 

[Last Man Standing]

Haha, that age chart is a joke, right? 18? 20? That is matrix shyt right there!!!

No, I'm not a father - I implied that I wasn't when I said I don't want to have bastard children.

I don't want to begin a family at my age - I don't want to get married, I know what's out there, and I definitely won't have children starting at 50. America is heading for some dangerous times, especially economically, and I couldn't think of a worst country to raise children -- this environment is one of death!! If anything I want to leave and go to the hillsides of Puerto Rico and live like Tarzan!! Me Tarzan, you Jane - you Boy.

 

[Señor Fingers]

LMS, yeah.. I'm sure this chart was compiled by Feminists out to destroy mankind

If you really believe that people lived longer before the 19th century, then you are drinking far too much.

America is heading for some dangerous times, especially economically, and I couldn't think of a worst country to raise children -- this environment is one of death!!

I can respect that.. for years I felt the same way, until I met the right woman.

You are right,we are heading for some dark times, but they will be even darker when not enough of the good guys raise families to combat the corrupt status quo.

 

[eyedogg]

LMS - thanks for replying. I completley understand where you are coming from on all points.

By the way, I have been thinking about that - taking it back to the jungle man! The Tarzan thing is hilarious, loved it.

eyedogg

 

[Last Man Standing]

LMS, yeah.. I'm sure this chart was compiled by Feminists out to destroy mankind .

That chart was made by an individual who does not know much about humanity but is trying to push an agenda!! Throw those books away - pseudo science is not science!!

And feminists don't need a chart to destroy mankind - they are doing a good job without charts

Our biological DNA is the same as it was 5 thousand years ago and to say the average age was 18 or 20 is a lie!!! As stated before - you had mass famines or diseases but it didn't affect the entire planet and so it stands to reason that our DNA has it so that we may bear fruit and take care of that fruit through adulthood and beyond - nothing has changed in our DNA throughout time.

Anyways, I had a dream the exact night that I answered this thread about not being married and the reason why. In my dream there was a girl lying next to me naked in bed but I never saw her face (why don't we ever see the face in these kinds of dreams)

So I go visit a friend and I tell him I got married - right then and there I got the most gut wrenching feeling that I made a bad decision and regretted it and wanted to get out of it but I already made the commitment!! That feeling sucks!!! Then he past me a joint and I took a hit but didn't inhale and it was powerful stuff and I just chilled with other people in the room and sat pondering my miserable state!! The girl that I pictured was my g/f in high school - she came to my mind when I was telling my friend.

To make this bizarre - while I was visiting my friend I go outside of his house and see a high tech futuristic blimp - and I said to my friend, "Look, what is that?" and then I said to him "That is a listening station monitoring our communications " - and then it flew over us and started moving in a tumbling manner away from us into the distance.

I think this was a sign! A great fear of mine is to be in a marriage and then she turns on me and betrays me -- not too far-fetched these days!

 

[KarmaSutra]

Last Man.

After reading that post I have a sickly, syrupy feeling in my stomach .

So you're consistently chased down by CIA balloons who listen to your thoughts?

Did you eat your Cocco Puffs this morning?

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Great Post, KARMIC LAWGIVER!



I am not a parent, but I have been a child before (just as LMS has previously stated...lol)------and some would say that I’ve behaved like one for a DECADE or two longer than I should have been allowed to…

But this post made me think of some things that I’d like to share with the Fathers and Mothers on here that you may find some value in:

There is an old scriptural adage that says “Train up a child in the way in which he should go, and when he becomes older, he will not depart from it.”

The danger I see in that statement is where I believe some parents (including my own) may have missed it is in WHERE they have chosen to place the emphasis. Parents who train up a child in the way in which he SHOULD go are often those who make the mistake of ONLY guiding that child by their own perspective ONLY-----while taking into account NONE of what makes THAT particular child unique.

These are the men and women who raise their kids to be what THEY want them to be, instead of recognizing what that child COULD be. These are the parents with the narcissistic blinders on. They'd rather try to live THROUGH their kids----as opposed to just living WITH them as the “temporary” caretakers they were always meant to be.

This is why the other emphasis appears to be the BETTER plan of action-----to instead, train up a child in the way in which HE should go. The difference is subtle, but choosing to MAKE that slight difference can have a life-changing effect on a child's destiny.

If a man or woman raises their child to the best of their personal understanding, but all the while, choose to keep “learning” who their child “is”, they may actually discover far EARLIER the temperaments, the gifts, and the DREAMS within that child’s heart. And by nurturing those talents, encouraging that unique potential that they see inside of them, but all the while BEING that loving AUTHORITY FIGURE in their lives------perhaps THEN, the raising of that child could be a little less traumatic than it would have been otherwise.

No plan is foolproof, but I have noticed that children who are raised THIS way seem to have a better chance of actually living their TRUE CALLING, as opposed to just living “a life”.

Any life worth living is worth doing whatever it takes to LIVE IT WELL.

There is another old adage that says that “Children are like arrows shot from a bow”.

I used to wonder what that meant in my younger years, until I took a little time to think about it. Then I recognized that poetry, scriptural texts, and much of LIFE itself can be a metaphorical GIFT to us. And these “gifts”, for those who CHOOSE to unwrap, unravel, or decode them, can often offer us valuable INSIGHT into Life’s underlying meaning.

I submit to you that this is by NO MEANS an exhaustive interpretation (for ALL truth is pregnant with MORE truth, and yet GREATER truth), but ONE possible meaning that I derive from that symbolic adage is that Parents are the MARKSMEN. The BOW is all the lessons that those parents have learned, combined with their willingness to share that knowledge through GUIDANCE. And the ARROWS? Well, the arrows, of course, are the children.

But what are they AIMED at?

The answer is THE WORLD, and more specifically, THEIR place IN IT.

It would appear that a GOOD parent’s MISSION of LOVE is embarked upon the moment they demonstrate their WILLINGNESS to take the life of their child into their own hands (like a BOW), to raise that child (like an ARROW) by taking into account that child’s temperaments, strengths, weakness, gifts, and propensities. Then, “aiming” that child at the Target of Opportunity (his or her PLACE in this world where they will stand the best chance of making the greatest positive impact upon it).

As I look back upon my own childhood, one thing that’s clear to me is the delineation between where my innate wisdom ended, and where my imparted wisdom BEGAN. And even though they are both intertwined NOW-----this was not always so. It is at this point where I can recognize those gifts of guidance my parents gave me, and also, the LACK of those gifts in certain areas where I see myself as being deficient.

It is because of THIS that I now recognize that two of the greatest gifts a child can give back to his parents (the GOOD parents), are the gifts of APPRECIATION (for what they did right while raising the child), and FORGIVENESS (for those things that they may have done wrong in raising the child). And the thing that INCREASES the likelihood of a parent, DJ or otherwise, of “receiving” these gifts is something called RECOGNITION.

Recognition by that child of the motivations behind that parent’s actions----recognition by that child of that parent's INTENT-----and in retrospect, if that intention is seen as GOOD in the eyes of that child, then that’s when the “arrow” once shot from the “bow” will return to the “marksman” like a BOOMERANG. But unlike before, when that child returns, he or she will most likely have become an ADULT----an EQUAL.

At least, that is how it has happened in MY OWN life.

DJ Parents…After your child-raising mission has long been accomplished, do you WANT your children to return to you ONE DAY with appreciation and forgiveness in their hearts????

Yes?

Then, it will ALL be because of the RECOGNITION of the love, the care, and the RESPECT that you once showed them when you were doing your part in “launching” them like miniature missiles out into the world to impact it in a way that you always knew that only "THEY" could.

And again, though I am NOT a parent at this moment in time…I can only imagine that THAT day, in and of itself, would be a special “kind” of REWARD-----all it’s own.



Peace…one day.