YouTuber Claims Dating Women In the 1990s Is No Different Than Dating Today's Women

[SW15]

This content creator believes that dating in the 1990s and early 2000s wasn't any different than today. He believes that he was dealing with narcissistic women with high demands during that time. This is a man who has been married for 22 years and likely in the same relationship for 24-25 years.

I asked my first woman out on a date early in junior year of high school in Fall 1999. I was starting to get interested in dating at the tail end of the 1990s in 1998 and 1999. For me, a high school dating environment from 1999-2001 was nothing like what adults were doing in dating in that time.

For this thread, I'm interested in hearing about the experiences men on this forum had dating in the 1995-2009 era and compare it to 2010-present.

For me, I noticed female attitudes getting worse around 2007-2008 and never recovering. It's not that females had great attitudes in my experiences from 1999-2006. Things went from bad to worse.

I didn't feel in the 2000s that women were as fussy about my 5'10" height as they are in the post 2010 era. That's all because of social media, smartphones, and dating apps.

More of the earlier stage interactions had more interpersonal interaction in them. In my experience, phone conversations dropped off after 2010 or so, if not slightly earlier. More dating interactions have been behind electronic screens. I have had to set some boundaries around this otherwise it gets out of hand.

I've noticed more rudeness 2010-present and just generally worse behaviors. The typical female 2010-present has more abundance of options now with dating apps and social media as compared to the 2000s. There were women on dating websites in 2000s that were getting their inboxes bombarded, but that was rarer as compared to the app and social media era. Online dating websites really didn't get de-stigmatized until around 2003-2005 or so.

I completely disagree with the YouTube content creator and wonder if people reading this also would disagree.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Same issues presented in different ways, people just want to act like everything is so much harder today.

What's really changed is men have never been lazier and expected more results for less work.

 

[patb]

Same issues presented in different ways, people just want to act like everything is so much harder today.

What's really changed is men have never been lazier and expected more results for less work.

you cannot possibly actually believe some of the things you say. The race to the bottom is more ridiculous for men than ever. Who the hell “lifted” in the 90s except jocks and homosexuals?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

you cannot possibly actually believe some of the things you say. The race to the bottom is more ridiculous for men than ever. Who the hell “lifted” in the 90s except jocks and homosexuals?

A lot of people actually. And people in general were in far better shape than they are today, 30+ years further into the obesifying of the US.

You have more simps, fat asses, soy boys and low T guys who would rather stay in and play video games than do anything with women than ever before and you think it's harder?

I mean just how low do you need to lower your competition to where you think you can succeed? 50% or more has already taken themselves out of the running, do you need it to be 95% to have a shot at success? 98%?

Guess I just don't focus on making excuses like most people and keep adjusting what I do until I get the results I want. Not sure what else to tell you...keep making excuses I guess, you are doing me a favor.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi patb,
" Who the hell “lifted” in the 90s except jocks and homosexuals?"As you weren't born till 1990 you aren't in a position to say....I started lifting at my Schools improvised Gym in 1959,we queued for the privilege....In 1963 I negotiated the purchase of my first set of free weights with an Egyptian who had fought at Suez,at the time,my parents were watching our PM telling us about the assassination of JFK on the television.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hi patb,
" Who the hell “lifted” in the 90s except jocks and homosexuals?"As you weren't born till 1990 you aren't in a position to say....I started lifting at my Schools improvised Gym in 1959,we queued for the privilege....In 1963 I negotiated the purchase of my first set of free weights with an Egyptian who had fought at Suez,at the time,my parents were watching our PM telling us about the assassination of JFK on the television.

@patb if you weren't born til 1990 and not dating until well into the 2000s, how do you even have any opinion on this when you were still in diapers sucking down bottles at night and getting burped before bedtime by Mommy during this timeframe?

 

[patb]

A lot of people actually. And people in general were in far better shape than they are today, 30+ years further into the obesifying of the US.

You have more simps, fat asses, soy boys and low T guys who would rather stay in and play video games than do anything with women than ever before and you think it's harder?

I mean just how low do you need to lower your competition to where you think you can succeed? 50% or more has already taken themselves out of the running, do you need it to be 95% to have a shot at success? 98%?

Guess I just don't focus on making excuses like most people and keep adjusting what I do until I get the results I want. Not sure what else to tell you...keep making excuses I guess, you are doing me a favor.

And you think these guys just decided to give up for no reason? They’re responding to incentives, and quite rationally so. Everyone around here talks a big game about “competition,” but there’s nothing life has taught me so much as that “competition” has very little to do with individual outcomes. The fix is almost always in, and when it isn’t, it’s mostly down to luck. Imagining oneself to be winning a “competition” is just self-congratulatory confirmation bias.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

And you think these guys just decided to give up for no reason? They’re responding to incentives, and quite rationally so. Everyone around here talks a big game about “competition,” but there’s nothing life has taught me so much as that “competition” has very little to do with individual outcomes. The fix is almost always in, and when it isn’t, it’s mostly down to luck. Imagining oneself to be winning a “competition” is just self-congratulatory confirmation bias.

I'll let you wallow in self pity. I'll just keep getting results.

Losers lose and winners win. Mostly it comes down to mindset. Born in 1990 it all makes sense. That generation has become the most mentally weak I have ever seen, in general. Honestly it's pathetic.

If it's not handed to them on a silver platter they throw a pity party and cry instead of working for it and figuring out how they can achieve it.

Sure there are some outliers that defy this but by and in large that is how your generation is viewed and rightly so.

Nowhere is it more obvious than in the workforce. They will keep me employed until whenever I decide to retire.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

This content creator believes that dating in the 1990s and early 2000s wasn't any different than today. He believes that he was dealing with narcissistic women with high demands during that time. This is a man who has been married for 22 years and likely in the same relationship for 24-25 years.

I asked my first woman out on a date early in junior year of high school in Fall 1999. I was starting to get interested in dating at the tail end of the 1990s in 1998 and 1999. For me, a high school dating environment from 1999-2001 was nothing like what adults were doing in dating in that time.

For this thread, I'm interested in hearing about the experiences men on this forum had dating in the 1995-2009 era and compare it to 2010-present.

For me, I noticed female attitudes getting worse around 2007-2008 and never recovering. It's not that females had great attitudes in my experiences from 1999-2006. Things went from bad to worse.

I didn't feel in the 2000s that women were as fussy about my 5'10" height as they are in the post 2010 era. That's all because of social media, smartphones, and dating apps.

More of the earlier stage interactions had more interpersonal interaction in them. In my experience, phone conversations dropped off after 2010 or so, if not slightly earlier. More dating interactions have been behind electronic screens. I have had to set some boundaries around this otherwise it gets out of hand.

I've noticed more rudeness 2010-present and just generally worse behaviors. The typical female 2010-present has more abundance of options now with dating apps and social media as compared to the 2000s. There were women on dating websites in 2000s that were getting their inboxes bombarded, but that was rarer as compared to the app and social media era. Online dating websites really didn't get de-stigmatized until around 2003-2005 or so.

I completely disagree with the YouTube content creator and wonder if people reading this also would disagree.

I don’t see much difference in dating over time. Women are exactly the same as back then. The mechanism of meeting is different (OLD! is certainly different.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Hi patb,
" Who the hell “lifted” in the 90s except jocks and homosexuals?"As you weren't born till 1990 you aren't in a position to say....I started lifting at my Schools improvised Gym in 1959,we queued for the privilege....In 1963 I negotiated the purchase of my first set of free weights with an Egyptian who had fought at Suez,at the time,my parents were watching our PM telling us about the assassination of JFK on the television.

I was in college around that time. We all lifted and worked out. And. we weren’t gay or jocks.

 

[corrector]

Did OLD thing between 2006-2016 and just quit around 2016 and never went really back into it since that year. Only great result was I believed I met my soul-mate in 2012 but it didn't work out in the end, and did meet some other women between 2006-2012 and nothing really came that much out of the meetings (in terms of relationship). I was never a happy camper with OLD, and with other personal issues going on in general, as well as OLD itself feeling discouraging, just lost interest in it. I attended University in the late 90s, and while I made some nice youthful connections, again, I wouldn't say that girls were my top priority at the time although I did manage to collect allot of numbers. Could be that I've just grown older and had one too many set-backs in life. It felt natural to talk to women at least in the 90s whereas compared to today, in contrast, where with me, it now feels totally unnatural to talk to women and more easier to just plug into the internet and watch a video and zone-out of the world. There is not a soul type of connection where you felt you were at least in the same universe as other people and even women like there was in the 90s.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Hamaribimbi,
"I don’t see much difference in dating over time. Women are exactly the same as back then.".....Sure,the imperitives of basic human nature prevail,but the competition is harder,the Demographics have been skewed.....In both our Countries,at the urging of employers large numbers of young Male immigrants have arrived, creating an imbalance on the dating scene...When Girls of the Village can discriminate,something is seriously wrong!

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Hi Hamaribimbi,
"I don’t see much difference in dating over time. Women are exactly the same as back then.".....Sure,the imperitives of basic human nature prevail,but the competition is harder,the Demographics have been skewed.....In both our Countries,at the urging of employers large numbers of young Male immigrants have arrived, creating an imbalance on the dating scene...When Girls of the Village can discriminate,something is seriously wrong!

The male immigrants to CA where I live are frankly not competitive. I mog them.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

He is not completely wrong.
Women is still hardwired the same way and the female OS is still running the same code as they have for centuries.
What has changes is just the conditions and that weak pu$$ified men have entered into this world + technology is way more advanced than in the 90'tes ofc.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Hi patb,
" Who the hell “lifted” in the 90s except jocks and homosexuals?"As you weren't born till 1990 you aren't in a position to say....I started lifting at my Schools improvised Gym in 1959,we queued for the privilege....In 1963 I negotiated the purchase of my first set of free weights with an Egyptian who had fought at Suez,at the time,my parents were watching our PM telling us about the assassination of JFK on the television.

You're right. Nobody I know was in the gym AT ALL. We went to raves and nightclubs but the only guys that were consistently in the gym were military, cops, and thugs OR men who felt inadequate about something. Same for tats, only those three groups had those, they looked stupid on anyone else. No one cared about this until this -maxxing bs came onto the scene [guys who don't feel their worth]. I had never been to a gym before I went to police foundations and I was only there to get in shape for the police test. No one I was in class with cared; they were all pulling women before the gym. There is some crazy race to maximize all physical traits to get women that wasn't there before. I was born in 80. Show me an asian country where men are hitting the gym?! Nobody over there gives a sh1t because it doesn't matter all that much. Our society is beyond fvcked now, why try and out-compete every other guy when you can just change your location and get the exact same results as buddy beefcake. Asians are not attracted to muscles anyway, they think it makes them look like low-class farmers. Even the asian military are lanky dudes, you don't see them obsessing about weights and protien diets. TV has brainwashed men into thinking they need to have a six-pack and pipes to hit on chicks. I only worked out because my job involved intimidation and I was hoping that my size would scare them first. This is why you see huge bouncers, it's not about picking up girls. I was worried about other guys. Look at Aikido, Krav or Mastro instructors, these aren't big guys. You can be tough as nails without 6 inch bulbs. My Aikido instructor was this skinny, tall dude who could take 3 of us at once. He had a stupid ponytail and was very soft-spoken spoken but you'd have to be nuts to pick a fight with him. He did not attract chicks at all. He was super skilled in self-defense but couldn't talk to a woman to save his life.

There is nothing more retarded than an IT guy who has tats, rides a Harley, acts tough and has muscles but has no idea how to fight and is a ch1cken sh1t left-wing prick. Those guys will attract trouble or get you into it. Ultimately, women are attracted to bad guys, not fake guys. The baddest guy I know is a skinny, short dude with significant links to the Hell's Angels. He's been in and out of prison and he doesn't take sh1t from no one but he also doesn't wander around trying to start it either. He owns hardware that would make the military blush. The thunder clap of women's panties dropping when this guy is around is almost deafening. Women love REAL bad boys because these boys don't put up with disrespect. The IT guy is hoping all that other bs protects him from it. Nobody likes stolen valor, and he is just another form of it.

Here's a real bad ass.

These guys scared the government so bad they froze their bank accounts. That fag0t Trudeau sh1t his pants during this. Those truckers were willing to do what the cowards in blue could not. When the chips are down, you can't fake real bravery and women can smell it from a mile away. If you're ever wondering why your tats and muscles ain't keeping chicks around, its because you're actually a b1tch.

 

[SW15]

I don’t see much difference in dating over time. Women are exactly the same as back then. The mechanism of meeting is different (OLD! is certainly different.

The rise in online dating has been a big change since my earliest days in the mating environment.

Online dating websites were around in the late 1990s/first half of the 2000s. They were de-stigmatizing around that time but most singles then strongly preferred to meet women in person around that time. This was the era of pickup artists (PUAs) like Mystery running around the bars. "The Game" was published was in 2005, but Neil Strauss was spending time with time with the PUAs by 2003 according to this January 2004 article.

HE AIMS! HE SHOOTS! YES!! (Published 2004)

Article on 'the community,' cultlike underground seduction industry, marketed mainly through online newsgroups and mailing lists, in which men pay other men to teach them how to pick up women; photos (L)

www.nytimes.com

If someone considers the mating environment of 1995-2005, the majority of meetings were in-person.

Since some point in the 2010-2015 era, most romantic interactions have been started with a tech-based method behind some electronic screen.

One of the things that doesn't seem to be talked about much anymore is the abundance that women received with dating websites in the 2nd half of the 2000s/early 2010s. It was common circa 2010 for women to have hundreds of messages in their inboxes on Match, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish. That's part of why swipe apps started. Swipe apps were supposed to reduce the volume of messages from undesirable men in women's inboxes. Instead, women's swipe queues got long and then social media DMing started to rise. Social media DM'ing was a thing though before Instagram got popular. There were men sending DMs on dates on MySpace in 2004-2006 and on Facebook in the 2006-2011 era (2006 is when Facebook was opened to the general public, only university students had it in 2004-2006).

The abundance of options that a woman gets from social media and dating websites/apps in the 2010-present era was not too commonplace from 1995-2005 or so. In the absence of social media and swipe apps, there's no way that a woman can achieve abundance without them. If a woman goes out to bars 2-3 nights per week but doesn't use swipe apps and has a minimal social media presence, she won't have much in the way of options as compared to a swipe app user. It's also my belief that swipe apps cause more abundance than social media DMs for most women.

The abundance women receive from swipe apps and social media alone is enough to cause a difference as compared to the late 1990s/early 2000s.

I notice differences in my interactions with women 1999-2006 as compared to 2011-present. 2011 is when I moved to a new city and started dating from scratch in a new city. My 1999-2006 experiences were different than someone who only dated in the general public those years. For most of that time, I was mainly in self-contained environments. 1999-2001 covered the last 2 years of high school for me. 2001-2005 was college and 2005-2006 was my first year+ out of college. In 2005-2006, when I was starting to date outside of the academic bubble for the first time, it was a bit of an adjustment. When going to bars that the general public was going to, I was rather young and a lot of the women at bars were at least a few years older than me. It can be a tough adjustment in nightlife to be 22-23 and not necessarily going to the college. In more generalized bars, it's a good idea to be at least 25 and slightly older than a larger percentage of women out there.

In the last 10-12 years or so, there hasn't been as much of a need to go out to nightlife venues to meet women as compared to the 2000s.

 

[Solomon]

I didn't date in the 90s as I was a preteen and early teen by the end of the 90s
However, I remember talking about this to a wingman back in 2016 who has been married since 90/91
He told me that guys shouldn't complain cause we got Tinder, in the 80s and 90s if you wanted to meet women you had to be outside i.e. club, bars, parties etc

You had to have decent IRL game. I was explaining to him that OLD is based on looks first and it's far more superficial. He couldn't understand it. He told me in the 90s getting laid was harder to because you still were dealing with the recent aids scare, and most women wouldn't give it up unless you were in a relationship. Whereas now women are giving it up left and right with the advancement of birth control etc.

Personally, I think 90s women on average looked far better than modern women (and if you look at the CDC stats their BMI was lower too)
Every decae will have it's pros and cons of dating.

*Shrugs*

 

[patb]

I'll let you wallow in self pity. I'll just keep getting results.

Losers lose and winners win. Mostly it comes down to mindset. Born in 1990 it all makes sense. That generation has become the most mentally weak I have ever seen, in general. Honestly it's pathetic.

If it's not handed to them on a silver platter they throw a pity party and cry instead of working for it and figuring out how they can achieve it.

Sure there are some outliers that defy this but by and in large that is how your generation is viewed and rightly so.

Nowhere is it more obvious than in the workforce. They will keep me employed until whenever I decide to retire.

I’ve seen very little actual proof of “results” around here, and even less I find genuinely impressive. Mostly it’s caged animals beating their chests, imagining themselves king of their domains because no one troubles to knock them off of their self-imagined pedestals.

 

[patb]

You're right. Nobody I know was in the gym AT ALL. We went to raves and nightclubs but the only guys that were consistently in the gym were military, cops, and thugs OR men who felt inadequate about something. Same for tats, only those three groups had those, they looked stupid on anyone else. No one cared about this until this -maxxing bs came onto the scene [guys who don't feel their worth]. I had never been to a gym before I went to police foundations and I was only there to get in shape for the police test. No one I was in class with cared; they were all pulling women before the gym. There is some crazy race to maximize all physical traits to get women that wasn't there before. I was born in 80. Show me an asian country where men are hitting the gym?! Nobody over there gives a sh1t because it doesn't matter all that much. Our society is beyond fvcked now, why try and out-compete every other guy when you can just change your location and get the exact same results as buddy beefcake. Asians are not attracted to muscles anyway, they think it makes them look like low-class farmers. Even the asian military are lanky dudes, you don't see them obsessing about weights and protien diets. TV has brainwashed men into thinking they need to have a six-pack and pipes to hit on chicks. I only worked out because my job involved intimidation and I was hoping that my size would scare them first. This is why you see huge bouncers, it's not about picking up girls. I was worried about other guys. Look at Aikido, Krav or Mastro instructors, these aren't big guys. You can be tough as nails without 6 inch bulbs. My Aikido instructor was this skinny, tall dude who could take 3 of us at once. He had a stupid ponytail and was very soft-spoken spoken but you'd have to be nuts to pick a fight with him. He did not attract chicks at all. He was super skilled in self-defense but couldn't talk to a woman to save his life.

There is nothing more retarded than an IT guy who has tats, rides a Harley, acts tough and has muscles but has no idea how to fight and is a ch1cken sh1t left-wing prick. Those guys will attract trouble or get you into it. Ultimately, women are attracted to bad guys, not fake guys. The baddest guy I know is a skinny, short dude with significant links to the Hell's Angels. He's been in and out of prison and he doesn't take sh1t from no one but he also doesn't wander around trying to start it either. He owns hardware that would make the military blush. The thunder clap of women's panties dropping when this guy is around is almost deafening. Women love REAL bad boys because these boys don't put up with disrespect. The IT guy is hoping all that other bs protects him from it. Nobody likes stolen valor, and he is just another form of it.

Here's a real bad ass.

These guys scared the government so bad they froze their bank accounts. That fag0t Trudeau sh1t his pants during this. Those truckers were willing to do what the cowards in blue could not. When the chips are down, you can't fake real bravery and women can smell it from a mile away. If you're ever wondering why your tats and muscles ain't keeping chicks around, its because you're actually a b1tch.

unfortunately I can’t agree on the last point — women aren’t smart enough to know the difference between posers and genuine bravery. In fact, they’ll go for the former 9/10 times

 

[SW15]

He told me in the 90s getting laid was harder to because you still were dealing with the recent aids scare, and most women wouldn't give it up unless you were in a relationship.

HIV / AIDS was a bigger scare in the 1980s and 1990s. It's still relevant today. Heterosexuals have learned how to deal with it. Use protection and don't use intravenous drugs/share needles.

By the time of my freshman year of college in 2001-2002, I don't recall anyone on campus being all too concerned about HIV.

Whereas now women are giving it up left and right with the advancement of birth control etc.

Birth control pills have been around since the 1960s for women. It was common for women in the late 1990s/early 2000s to be on birth control.

I think it would be interesting to compare stats of birth control use in the 1995-2004 era to 2015-present.

When I was in college (2001-2005), I never had birth control get in the way of sex. I was using condoms then and still use them today. I was following Iron Rule of Tomassi #5 (NEVER allow a woman to be in control of the birth) many years before it was mentioned. I was more fearful during my days on campus on unintended pregnancy than I was about STDs.

I don't recall now but I believe most women I had sex with during my college years were using birth control too.

When I think about the women I've had sex with in the past 10-15 years (post college), the majority of them have been using birth control too. There have been a number of instances in the past 10-15 years where the woman was not on birth control. I was using a condom so it wasn't even the slightest issue.