Smooth as Anything
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2002
- Messages
- 1,230
- Reaction score
- 0
So you want some pvssy eh? Well hell yeah! Man, if you don’t want to score some fine ass, get the fvck off my post.
Still here, huh? That’s what I thought.
I’m not going to tell you about your brain and why people do what they do, forget that. Let’s go out there and start scoring some ladies, and getting happy. Being a Don Juan scientist is for those of us who genuinely strive to reach that level, the majority of you don’t care about it (which is why the majority of my posts are directed towards that crowd).
Let’s get started right off the bat.
SELF IMPROVEMENT
We want to take what we are now and get us better, right? Again, if you don’t want to improve yourself – feel free to get out of my post. I don’t want your lazy ass filling a seat when someone of more value could be asking me your foolish question.
So how do we improve ourselves? I really don’t need to tell you, but because you most likely at this point lack any real, physical testicals, I’ll help you out.
1. You’re ugly.
Sorry dude but its true, you’re simply hideous. I wouldn’t want to be seen with you! If my friends saw me hanging out with you, hahahaha I’d tell them you threatened to kill me if I didn’t talk to you or something.
?? You disagree with me? Or you agree with me?
If you agreed with me, you have just been diagnosed as either a very accepting person, an over-trusting person, or one with unhealthily low self-esteem.
Anyway, you’re probably ugly – and if you’re not, that’s no real advantage (Sorry to break it to ya bro, but a body without a penis isn’t to pleasing to the ladies), so you need to start changing some things.
First off, are you satisfied with your haircut? Well I’m not. Go get it cut. NO ****ING EXCUSES. “Oh I like my hair!” I don’t care, if girls are not sleeping with you left and right, your hair needs work.
See a male hairdresser, homosexual or not – females will **** it up.
2. I’m going to beat the **** out of you.
Are you scared? You sure as hell shouldn’t be you pansy. If you aren’t confident enough to think you can beat the **** out of me, regardless of ever having seen me – you need to get to the gym ASAP.
“Oh but smooth I’ve never seen you!” I don’t ****ing care! (Are we sensing a trend here?). I don’t give a **** how you look; I already said that – so stop rationalizing your weakness. CONFIDENCE you dumbass, CONFIDENCE – THINK ABOUT IT.
So get yourself in the gym unless you’re absolutely certain you could beat the piss out of me!
3. You dress like a homo.
Naw, I’m not going to tell you to dress like a metrosexual – or some firemen or some **** like that. You need to look clean though. No *****es want to get with some UNVALUEABLE guy. Chicks see your value with your clothes man. Clothes MAKE the first impression. Dress to impress (Unless of course you are completely satisfied with masturbation).
What does that mean? Look around. See the kid who’s banging the hottest girl in the school? Dress like him. (Yeah I know I’m brilliant, why didn’t you think of that?!)
4. You smell like dirty ass.
You smell unacceptable. Even if girls are complimenting you, I am certain that you smell similar to a petting zoo, or perhaps a dollar store.
5. Clip your damn nails.
They’ve got scum under them, they’re femininely long… I realize that opening soda cans is an amazingly easy feat for you, but I am afraid that you will have to sacrifice your soda drinking ease in favor of the vagina.
6. Your teeth remind me of a train wreck.
White teeth are attractive; you are not. It’s pretty simple.
A – B = X.
A = White teeth
B = Your teeth
X = Absolutely no sexual interaction.
7. You wish your teeth were as pasty as your skin.
Believe it or not, there is a sun out there – and it’s just waiting for you to come out and say hello. Fear not, you will not get skin cancer. If you do, you’re an albino and you have a good excuse for your skin – so disregard the sun.
People know how tan you are, and no one wants to see a man who’s skin shares a characteristic with their semen (the color).
…
Part 2:: COMING SOON
Still here, huh? That’s what I thought.
I’m not going to tell you about your brain and why people do what they do, forget that. Let’s go out there and start scoring some ladies, and getting happy. Being a Don Juan scientist is for those of us who genuinely strive to reach that level, the majority of you don’t care about it (which is why the majority of my posts are directed towards that crowd).
Let’s get started right off the bat.
SELF IMPROVEMENT
We want to take what we are now and get us better, right? Again, if you don’t want to improve yourself – feel free to get out of my post. I don’t want your lazy ass filling a seat when someone of more value could be asking me your foolish question.
So how do we improve ourselves? I really don’t need to tell you, but because you most likely at this point lack any real, physical testicals, I’ll help you out.
1. You’re ugly.
Sorry dude but its true, you’re simply hideous. I wouldn’t want to be seen with you! If my friends saw me hanging out with you, hahahaha I’d tell them you threatened to kill me if I didn’t talk to you or something.
?? You disagree with me? Or you agree with me?
If you agreed with me, you have just been diagnosed as either a very accepting person, an over-trusting person, or one with unhealthily low self-esteem.
Anyway, you’re probably ugly – and if you’re not, that’s no real advantage (Sorry to break it to ya bro, but a body without a penis isn’t to pleasing to the ladies), so you need to start changing some things.
First off, are you satisfied with your haircut? Well I’m not. Go get it cut. NO ****ING EXCUSES. “Oh I like my hair!” I don’t care, if girls are not sleeping with you left and right, your hair needs work.
See a male hairdresser, homosexual or not – females will **** it up.
2. I’m going to beat the **** out of you.
Are you scared? You sure as hell shouldn’t be you pansy. If you aren’t confident enough to think you can beat the **** out of me, regardless of ever having seen me – you need to get to the gym ASAP.
“Oh but smooth I’ve never seen you!” I don’t ****ing care! (Are we sensing a trend here?). I don’t give a **** how you look; I already said that – so stop rationalizing your weakness. CONFIDENCE you dumbass, CONFIDENCE – THINK ABOUT IT.
So get yourself in the gym unless you’re absolutely certain you could beat the piss out of me!
3. You dress like a homo.
Naw, I’m not going to tell you to dress like a metrosexual – or some firemen or some **** like that. You need to look clean though. No *****es want to get with some UNVALUEABLE guy. Chicks see your value with your clothes man. Clothes MAKE the first impression. Dress to impress (Unless of course you are completely satisfied with masturbation).
What does that mean? Look around. See the kid who’s banging the hottest girl in the school? Dress like him. (Yeah I know I’m brilliant, why didn’t you think of that?!)
4. You smell like dirty ass.
You smell unacceptable. Even if girls are complimenting you, I am certain that you smell similar to a petting zoo, or perhaps a dollar store.
5. Clip your damn nails.
They’ve got scum under them, they’re femininely long… I realize that opening soda cans is an amazingly easy feat for you, but I am afraid that you will have to sacrifice your soda drinking ease in favor of the vagina.
6. Your teeth remind me of a train wreck.
White teeth are attractive; you are not. It’s pretty simple.
A – B = X.
A = White teeth
B = Your teeth
X = Absolutely no sexual interaction.
7. You wish your teeth were as pasty as your skin.
Believe it or not, there is a sun out there – and it’s just waiting for you to come out and say hello. Fear not, you will not get skin cancer. If you do, you’re an albino and you have a good excuse for your skin – so disregard the sun.
People know how tan you are, and no one wants to see a man who’s skin shares a characteristic with their semen (the color).
…
Part 2:: COMING SOON
