Your Thoughts...

[pLaYtHiNg]

Since the popular belief here is that you guys know more about women (and what they want) than women do, I am seeking your opinions on a current situation I am in. I'm not asking to get flamed, please.

A few weeks ago at work the regular security guard was absent and replaced by this small, skinny, kind of ugly, but kind of cute guy. As we got to talking I could feel myself being overtly flirtatious and in general, just being attracted to him. He's extremely intelligent, a bit playful and quite funny at times. (Although he does tend to err on the serious side).

When it came time for him to leave I asked him for his number, which he gave me, and we've been hanging out a bit since.

I went to his place to have some drinks and watch movies the other night, and ended up spending the night (ON THE COUCH!! LOL) He was polite and gentlemanly, he didn't try anything at all.

We've hung out a few times, and it seems like each time he gets a little bolder, especially with the KINO. Tonight he play-slapped me in the butt! I was shocked, but I didn't react badly to it at all... I just sort of remained acted like it didn't happen. He frequently touches my arm or leg while we're together, and always calls me "Princess". (Before you start, no I am not demanding of him or using him for anything). He is also a year older than I, (30) which is different, I almost always seem to end up with/attract younger guys.

All seems good, right? Here's the deal... I am attracted to him, but not, at the same time. Yes, even I don't get this one. Physically he is very thin, almost frail looking, (I mean, the guy literally weighs like 110 lbs). He's short, about 5'4" (my height), but he ISN'T bad looking, in my opinion. Think DJ Qualls, or whoever that skinny actor is, I may have his name wrong...

So what do you think? How is it that I'm undecided about whether or not to persue this guy, and whether or not I'm attracted to him, physically? We've only seen each other like, three or four times. Thanks for your honest imput.

P.S. Just wanted to mention that I'm not desperate or lonely at all, if that helps. I am quite content being single.

 

[Johnny_Kage]

Look at the fact that you posted on here and I think you'll have your answer. You do like him. You're just looking for reasons not to like him. His game seems pretty good anyway so I have a feeling you'll both be perfectly fine.

Cheers!

- JK

 

[ketostix]

My impression is he passes your personality test, but is borderline on passing your physical attraction test. You probably don't like that he's very short and scrawny. You probably think his face and appearance and personality are passable, but his physial stature is causing you uncertainty about your attraction for him. I can't really comment too far on a girl's FR because I don't believe the accuracy of it. I find it doubtful that you spent the night there and drank and been together 3 or 4 times and nothing physical has happened. Anyway he's probably touching you in a mild way to escalate. If it were me I would escalate more agressively and if she rejected it, I'd move on.

 

[Splendidostring]

It's nice to have a woman posting here.

My only advice : try it.

There's nothing else to say, no point in finding reasons not to like him.

 

[horaholic]

Look at it this way... He's the same size as Prince!

Seriously though, how do you think you'd react if he lost the polite and gentlemanly crap, and went bold, cut the bullshyt and grabbed you, and threw you down like a caveman, and 'took' you? I'll bet you'd be attracted to him for sure, then, wouldn't you? Personnally, I slap girls asses within minutes of meeting them with no adverse reactions, and I escalate too slow sometimes.

You're named after a car; and I'll bet you want a man to 'drive you like the cops are after you on a dirt road.' Instead you keep getting guys that act like grandma drivin a cadillac to church on sunday, or 15 year old kids learning how to shift gears. Am I right???? Tell me Im right!

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

He sounds cool, except for calling you "Princess". Come on now

I think you want to be more attracted to him than you are. Maybe you want your physical attraction to match your feelings on him as a person, it would be a lot easier, wouldn't it?

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

I can't really comment too far on a girl's FR because I don't believe the accuracy of it. I find it doubtful that you spent the night there and drank and been together 3 or 4 times and nothing physical has happened.

Well I don't know what to say... I've been accurate.

Look at it this way... He's the same size as Prince!

:crackup:

Seriously though, how do you think you'd react if he lost the polite and gentlemanly crap, and went bold, cut the bullshyt and grabbed you, and threw you down like a caveman, and 'took' you? I'll bet you'd be attracted to him for sure, then, wouldn't you? Personnally, I slap girls asses within minutes of meeting them with no adverse reactions, and I escalate too slow sometimes.

You're named after a car; and I'll bet you want a man to 'drive you like the cops are after you on a dirt road.' Instead you keep getting guys that act like grandma drivin a cadillac to church on sunday, or 15 year old kids learning how to shift gears. Am I right???? Tell me Im right!

You are so right, hun.

At this point, I am a little impatient following him on the freeway at 40mph. I'm tempted to pass...

I think you want to be more attracted to him than you are. Maybe you want your physical attraction to match your feelings on him as a person, it would be a lot easier, wouldn't it?

It would be, honestly, but I don't think his looks aren't something that won't grow on me with time.

He signed onto Yahoo Messenger today, I messaged him, and he seems to be playing the 'aloof' card, which is giving me the impression that maybe he's not interested?? I am definitely the aggressor here, and I've initiated all contact, except once. I flirt with him like crazy, yet I don't really get what's going on in his head.

How long should I wait before I NEXT him? I'm pretty impatient...

 

[horaholic]

You mean you havent given all his friends head yet?!? Damn, you must be a real catch!

This thing must happen a lot more than us guys realize, huh? He's probably trying to grow the balls to make a move, wondering if you would reject his advances, and you're posting here about it, and already about to look elsewhere. It makes me wonder how many chances I've blown by being a pvssy in the past. Hell, I still do it sometimes. I'm glad I get this perspective of the situation.

At this point, I am a little impatient following him on the freeway at 40mph. I'm tempted to pass...

When all else fails, turn on the headlights and honk!

 

[prairiedog24]

You mean you havent given all his friends head yet?!? Damn, you must be a real catch!

This thing must happen a lot more than us guys realize, huh? He's probably trying to grow the balls to make a move, wondering if you would reject his advances, and you're posting here about it, and already about to look elsewhere. It makes me wonder how many chances I've blown by being a pvssy in the past. Hell, I still do it sometimes. I'm glad I get this perspective of the situation.



When all else fails, turn on the headlights and honk!

DUDE. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO true.

I am living proof of this one. Get this, we got caught in a blizzard once, and stopped at a hotel. Being the conservative wait until marriage sort of guy that I am, I thought it was crazy enough sharing a room with her. The hotel guy asked "one bed or two?" She butted in and said "one", and I smiled at her not really even knowing if she was serious and told him "two is perfect."

No I don't regret sticking to my standards that night. But good lord, why did I not escalate to SOMETHING. I have NO MORAL QUALMS about making out! Was just chicken**** at heart.

I just didn't understand that this HB9 wanted me to make a move NOW. I was drop dead in love with her too, but expected that we'd grow into it bit by bit. Within a week after that, she started giving me a hot/cold alternation thing. Never a LJBFs, but I suspect it's cemented there anyway. My plans at something materializing without ever doing something spontaneous were dashed on the rocks. I couldn't imagine my attraction to her waning in a week or two with her at the time, but clearly it wasn't difficult for her. I definitely learned a lesson about the differences in attraction between men and women that day. Being on this forum is my promise to myself to NEVER let that happen again. NEVER EVER.

In the mean time, I just benched a set @ 150 lbs today. Onward self-improvement.

 

[Joe Stud]

Honey, time to be a little less available. Then when he does step up and ask you out, kino and rub against him to "jump start" him. You know how, right?

Just like the "candy man".. you give him a couple of samples, then its up to his sweet tooth to compel him to come back for more. LOL

 

[PSYCHO]

Prairie - you were trying to treat someone, "her", as "special" and "worthy" - but she wasn't either!!!

Lay Thing - your name explains it all!! You have taken the masculine role and he the feminine - The Unnatural Order Of Things!

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Horaholic, you're a riot! Turn on my headlights and honk! LOL

Well here's the update, fellas...

He signed onto messenger again... I waited and waited, but finally couldn't resist messaging him, (so much for being less available... wish I'd seen that earlier). He seemed more receptive and asked me to come over... so I went to his place for a bit and got ready for work there. While I was in the shower he asked me if I wanted a ham sandwich, I made damn sure to open the door in nothing but a towel and remind him that I'm a vegetarian, (but the thought was sweet)

We'd been talking about our living situations, when get this: He suggests we rent a house together! Neither of us could do it on our own, but with our combined income this is a situation that benefits us both. I'm thinking if we do that, a relationship will ruin things (with the living situation) if things head south.

Sooo... I think I am going to chalk this one up to LJBF, even though the more I hang out with him the more I like him. We'll see what happens... but tomorrow we are going to run some errands together, (since we both just got paid) and probably will discuss it further then.

Do you guys think this is the right step to take at this point???

 

[Daniel1099]

if i were you...i would just kindly decline moving in

and keep doing what your doing...

if anything he probably respects you a lot and wants to take things slow...

if i was his buddy i would be pushing him on.

 

[countermart]

Here’s my 2c worth. You have mixed feelings subconsciously and he is picking up on this intuitively and through your actions. He probably respects you, likes you, values you, wants you, but does not want to be rejected because his stature etc has resulted in this in the past and reduced his confidence.

Calling you “Princess” is an indication of your status in his mind, but only if it is said in a positive tone of course. I’ve called a girl “Princess” because she acted like one, and we spent a lot of time together but I did not want her as more than a friend.

You see your actions as aggressive but he does not. When I was younger a girl came out of the shower with a towel around her in a similar situation to your story, looked into my eyes and said “Your eyes are a beautiful aqua-green”. Did I take this as an IOI? Hell no, I was too stupid then, but we had a great time much later after I worked it out.

Every guy here has a story of missing the obvious and kicking themselves latter.

Try making up your mind and being (even) more obvious. Hard because what he does will also make up your mind. I know.

Countermart.

 

[scrouds]

Plaything: Jump him

 

[Alle_Gory]

Get him drunk and take advantage of him. Half a beer should do it.

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Calling you “Princess” is an indication of your status in his mind

So obvious, yet I never thought about it this way. Interesting idea. :rock:

So, we talked a bit last night and I realized a couple of things. 1.) He never speaks of previous relationships or experiences... leaving me to believe he possibly has never had one. (VIRGIN?? )

2.) If this is the case, a hardcore come-on might actually push him away and intimidate him...

I initiated the conversation by asking him how he was doing, and he said something along the lines of, "Repressed and Depressed" and when I asked why, he stated simply, "There is no love in the world." I told him that wasn't true, and what does it matter what others think? It shouldn't matter. He says he thinks I have a healthy outlook in that regard, but the subject was quickly changed; we didn't get too into it.

I would feel incredibly, massively guilty if I *think* I like this guy, (hey there is only one way to know if that chemistry is there), and later decide that I *don't* like him that way, AFTER flirting and pursuing shamelessly. Does that make any sense? He's a really nice guy I would never want to hurt his feelings like that. (This may be where some guys get the idea that they've been led on, or teased, and I definitely don't want things to come off that way...)

Thankfully, for being a little on the dorky side, he doesn't act awkward or uncomfortable around me, if anything, I feel a little awkward and dorky, but I hope he doesn't pick up on that LOL

So, I will report back later, Gents, with the low-down on our get-together today. Just want to say thanks for all your help and insight, I really appreciate it.

 

[LovelyLady]

Are you sure he is straight?

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Dear God... that is an excellent question.

And I totally have a knack for attracting the queer... uh oh!! LOL

*makes mental note... determine sexual orientation*

 

[LovelyLady]

*makes mental note... determine sexual orientation*

:crackup: Yeah, add it to the list: "He's Just Not That Into You... if he's gay" :kick: lol