Your Pinnacle of Sex, Love and Happiness.

[dbot]

when is your ebook out?

Join my mailing list and you'll be the first to know! haha

Seriously though, you need to listen to yourself:

I would consider myself ABOVE the level that you claim to be at.

I would consider myself on the way to true enlightenment

please don't patronise me by suggesting that I'm in any way naive.

I've been on the same path for some years now

We all get it. You are so much better and more experienced than I am. Now that you've established that, feel free to bring some intelligence to the table and actually explain your beliefs with logic. However, if it really floats your boat, I guess you can continue to tell everyone how awesome you are and how fraudulent my advice is, even though you've never tried it. Really L777, I just want you to be happy

 

[Maxtro]

Your concept sounds totally plausible. Freely give love and you will get it back.

The problem is how does one apply it to their life when they are not happy?

I want to be the kind of happy guy that loves everybody, the world, and his life. But that can't be further from the truth for me. I absolutely hate my life and I detest the world I live in. Before I go to sleep, my mind is running wild and I imagine ways the world could be destroyed killing every human on it.

The crazy thing is that I am living better than millions of people. I have almost everything I want. The only things I'm lacking are friends and women. I'm a loner and have been for the vast majority of my life. I actually don't prefer to be alone, things just happen that way. Now my interpersonal skills have degraded to the point where I no longer know how to make friends. I would not be surprised if I seriously get hurt or worse because I was alone somewhere where I should not be alone.

As for women, they have never liked me. If it wasn't for hookers and swingers I'd be a 28 year old virgin. For some reason the only option I get with real women is, friendzone or nothing. Right now It's nothing.

How is a guy who is so close to the bottom supposed to recover? I don't want to give up but I seriously cannot imagine living and dieing as an old man with nobody around me.

 

[L777]

Join my mailing list and you'll be the first to know! haha

Seriously though, you need to listen to yourself:






We all get it. You are so much better and more experienced than I am. Now that you've established that, feel free to bring some intelligence to the table and actually explain your beliefs with logic. However, if it really floats your boat, I guess you can continue to tell everyone how awesome you are and how fraudulent my advice is, even though you've never tried it. Really L777, I just want you to be happy

Not at all. I just experienced the same 'buzz' and 'anything is possible' feelings years ago when I started learning about this kind of stuff...and it does feel like you can do anything, including have women flock to you with no effort. At the end of the day though, it ain't true - you need game. It sure helps, being enlightened and having a positive energy about you, but it won't do the work for you, like you're implying.

Don't know you so don't know if you're serious about the whole ebook/mailing listh thing, but shame on you if you are. You're offering silver bullets to misguided people, which don't exist. And please desist with the whole "I want you to be happy" crap - it's patronising and I'm just not the typical misguided susceptible person on here who falls for your BS. You KNOW that you're misguiding people. And don't bother I'm telling me I haven't 'tried this stuff' its not something you try, its something that you become - and I think I have, or am becoming the person I want to be, one day at a time. It has nothing to do with seduction and it won't get you laid.

 

[dbot]

First of all, the only person who said anything about me selling a product is YOU. I already stated that I'm not selling anything, nor do I plan on selling anything in any way to this community. I already told you how I feel about "seduction" and "pickup" and how it has been overcomplicated for the purpose of profit. If you haven't already, I encourage you to read some of my previous threads to see just how simple my so-called "game" really is. It is very simple, yet extremely effective.

This thread is NOT MEANT TO BE ABOUT GAME. It's about being happy with yourself and being excited about love and sex. I was getting laid for years and was NOT HAPPY. Why? Because there was no mutual appreciation for the women I was fucking. I was good at turning them on, and they just wanted a fix. Over time that is very unfulfilling, and no amount of sex will fill that void. Does this make sense?

When I started to truly love women, whatever game I had went out the window. Not only were women much more receptive towards me, they were legitimately sucked into my presence. Sex, for them, was no longer about getting off and getting out. It was infinitely more fulfilling for both me and the women I was with.

This thread is meant to help people. Nobody has ANYTHING to lose by taking my advice, and everything to gain. I am not going to continue to argue with you about this, so here's the rub: If you disagree with my advice, then simply ignore it. If you are still concerned and wish to continue this discussion in a civilized manner, then send me a PM and we can talk there. But since it's clear to everyone where we both stand on the topic, I don't think we need to pollute this thread any further with our disagreements. Does that sound reasonable to you?

 

[L777]

^^^Bla bla bla cant really be bothered reading/arguing with you. Let's agree to disagree.

 

[Isko]

How do you deal with them wanting to see you again? Are they candidates to be your girlfriend, and if not, how do you tell them that?

This is relevant to my situation. I'm in a college dorm and not sure whether I want to try for a girlfriend or just casual relationships. All the guys who have done or are doing casual relationships (**** buddies, or hooking up) say that it is unfulfilling, but I have the desire to do it. Thing is, I doubt that I'd date some of these girls with whom I would hook up. I plan on telling them the truth: That I'll be looking for a girlfriend eventually, but right now I desire to sleep around a little.

Thanks, dating coach Dbot

 

[Isko]

^I got a **** buddy, and it wasn't really fulfilling =P

The most important part of this post is in bold at the bottom. The rest is kinda just stream of consciousness, to show my thought process and hopefully trigger some insights in someone

I want to have sex with hot girls, but I also want them cuddling with me, calling me, and basically doing the normal stuff. I'm not interested in the super-flashy PUA lifestyle where you're constantly calculating. In fact, I'd like it all to flow naturally.

After studying the PUA stuff for so long, I don't know quite who I am anymore. I remember being an "AFC", and actually LIKING girls. I'd talk to them on the phone for hours, enjoying myself. I think I used to "game" them, but I thought of it as "being cool" or whatever... Now, I'm confused as to what strategy I should follow, and it's a struggle to just... be myself. Or to figure out what that means.

I never used routines, or cold-approached a ton of women. I have had sex with about 10 girls and flirted with dozens of others. I've had several LTRs that went well and ended amicably. Learning PU principles definitely increased my social standing and decreased my social anxiety. I just feel like I've lost myself. By following advice of people I've never met, which I don't talk about with most of my friends, I've gained a lot of ability with girls, but it all feels kinda "in my head".

It's like all I think about these days is pickup. I spend so much time on it. It's driving me crazy. I don't get the results you had, but I don't put in the effort you put in, either.

I don't like feeling manipulative. I don't like thinking about things in terms of pickup techniques. I feel like interaction with women has lost most of its magic.

I think I understand the power of genuine affection for women. Sadly, I usually feel those things while on drugs. On drugs, I feel much less calculating and manipulative, and more genuine (confident.) Once, I was shrooming, hanging out with a female friend in the dorm, when I decided I wanted to make a new friend. I went out in the hall, saw a girl I knew, and gave her a big warm hug saying "MADELINE, come here, I wanna get to know someone new and we don't know each other well enough, let's get breakfast tomorrow!" She "melted", responded well, you know. As it should be.

The next day, though, it was kinda... business as normal. I felt insecure and unsure of myself. I guess it's about following your feelings and desires or something. I'm not sure how to turn off the "calculating" nature and let the genuineness out.

Another time, I was on acid with some friends, including a girl I'd just met and never spoken too beyond pleasantries. I noticed she was just sitting back, not involved in the conversation. I took another look at her, and I saw her 'as she was, at the moment'... She was bored and horny! So I tapped her on the shoulder, quietly asking her if she wanted to take a walk, and she said sure. We walked off (blowing off the question as to where we were going.... They were on acid, after all... They'd forget soon!) Once we got out of sight, we immediately started making out.

I don't think that would have happened if I hadn't studied and practiced pickup like I have, and I greatly enjoyed it, as did she. (On acid, her tongue in my mouth felt like a tentacle from an octopus sex goddess )

I remember thinking, while on acid, that everyone is manipulating one another, calculating, and it's normal; you might as well accept it. It IS genuine. It's like international politics... Every person is a state unto themselves.

Well, I guess that's OK. I'm learning that sex is mutual, that I'm not being manipulative by trying for it, etc. I feel socially comfortable more often lately, even while sober, and it's mostly because I keep having it proven to me that girls LIKE me and ARE actually sexually attracted to me... They want me to be affectionate towards them. It's all about confidence; you already are good enough, but you'll screw it up if you think you aren't.

I guess.

****tt, this stuff is hard

I'm as intrigued as I am by your writing because you seem to have escaped the "gaming people" mindset. Maybe it came from realizing that you're never NOT gaming people...?

"Instant Attraction and the Truth About Sex" feels like a manipulative tactic, but it actually stems from that lesson you learned about unconditional love, right?

I just feel like I've glimpsed the mindset you're talking about, many times... Sober or on drugs... but I haven't held onto it.

This might get kinda creepy but I've studied your posts a lot... The way I see your development is: You used manipulative PU tactics (whatever those may be) but you felt unsatisfied. I guess you felt fake, didn't get satisfying affection, and felt like... I don't know. Like I do now. Confused.. =P

Then, you talked to your friend John and had an epiphany. You stopped talking to girls for awhile and started practicing unconditional love and genuineness. I'm thinking that what this meant to you is that you stopped trying to act "high value" or cool, and started showing them the affection you wanted to, even though you felt like they might not accept it from you. That's the way to be unconditionally loving. You can't worry about what they think of you; no insecurity allowed, or necessary. What they think of you wouldn't change how you treat them.

If I could consistently do that (and I can do it sometimes, but it's super hard) then I think it'd be all I need. It's what I'm gonna keep practicing.

I'm not sure what you began to look for in relationships (a long term girlfriend? one night stands?) But I bet it just came naturally and you did what you felt like doing...

Well, I'm done. Mad respect to you and your balls of steel... heart of gold... whatever you got in there.

 

[dbot]

Isko,

It can be very easy to lose yourself in this stuff. When you get to the point where interaction with women has lost its magic, it's because you've removed yourself so far from the emotional aspect of it that you no longer care about the outcome, and you're just a mindless seduction robot. Ever read The Stranger? Ultimately, detachment is your worst enemy. You can lay every beautiful woman on earth, but if you don't care, what's the point? Your result is bittersweet.

In the end, you want to get nervous when you talk to that girl you really like. You want to feel the sting of rejection. You want to wonder if she really likes you. You want to be excited when she calls you back or upset if she doesn't. You want to feel shitty when relationships end and euphoric when new ones begin. Everyone needs to stop avoiding their emotions and start embracing them, because they're the only things making your life interesting.

Another point worth mentioning:

"Instant Attraction and The Truth About Sex" shouldn't be thought of as a tactic. It explains implied social value, a theory of human behavior. It's not manipulative, as the only person you're manipulating is yourself. To explain it in the simplest terms:

1. You act the way you feel.
2. You're treated the way you act.
3. You feel the way you're treated.

So basically, if you feel like a loser, then you're going to expect people to treat you like a loser, which will result in you being treated like a loser, which will reinforce your feeling like loser. Yes, it's vicious.

There's obviously a lot more to it than this, and psychology is a soft science anyway, but this is the basic idea, so let's go along with it for the sake of making my point easy to understand. You can't (directly) change the way you feel, and you can't (directly) change the way people treat you (unless you have a gun). So the only thing that you have direct control over is the way you act.

If you feel like a loser, but force yourself to act like you deserve respect, then people will treat you with respect, and you will stop feeling like a loser, and you will no longer need to force yourself to act like you deserve respect, because you will do so naturally.

At no point are you pretending to be something you're not, because there is no state of being. You may act like a loser, and people may treat you like a loser, but there is no such thing as being a loser. There are only perceptions.

 

[Isko]

I'm still confused about the implied social value. I mean, power and control are not tangible qualities, so the girls must be reacting to a mix of what you subcommunicate and what actions you take.

There is the agreed-upon power and control that a boss has over subordinates, but that can be wrested from the boss' grasp. PERSONAL power and control over others seems to be what you're talking about. Leadership; giving orders; the ability to manage and command people through force of will... That's what attracts women, and it's what you're using in your interactions with them.

Is that right?

It sounds just like using a Jedi mind trick!

There're also these two quotes which seem to refer to very different pickup styles, or goals... I dunno. Were you applying the ideas of both posts in both these pickups?

I just looked at her and said, “Wow… you are so pretty! Do you wanna go out on a date?”

She was absolutely BEAMING. I didn’t see her stop smiling for 30 minutes. We ended up going out later that same evening, and then back to her place to spend the night.

It really is that simple. There is no “game.” There are no gimmicks.

This seems very "AFC", but if you're at all confident and secure, I could see it working. I've tried it a couple of times, but maybe I wasn't earnest and confident enough, because I just got a phone number flake. I'll still keep trying it, because it's easy and fits how I look at the world. It's honest and natural. But I'm curious to know--not even for my benefit, just for my curiosity--whether you are using implied social value here. I guess you feel so good about yourself by now that you feel like you deserve a date, which is great.

But why is this next style of pickup so different?

What's really ironic is how much simpler my "game" is now as compared to a couple years ago. When I talk to women, all I'm doing is obtaining the information I need should I choose to pursue them. It's almost like a formal interview or qualification. A recent conversation with a cashier at the ice cream shop went something like this:

Me: "so what's your name?"
Her: "Jessica."
Me: "do you live around here?"
Her: "no I live out in Huntington. You?"
Me: "I'm right down the street. How late do you work?"

This is not small talk, and she knows it. I'm asking these questions with intentionality and the expectation that she will answer them. If I didn't, then I would come off as being nosey or just another creep. But I'm calm and secure with asking these questions, because I know exactly how she will react. She picked up on this, and in turn responded exactly as I indicated she should.

So what happened when I left her with this...

Me (scribbling my info on a card): "Jessica I have to run, but I want you to call me when you're finished here."

I see how that one involves unconditional love too. I guess you're just changing the verbals depending on your mood, and basically putting across the same message in both interactions: You're an awesome guy, and you think she seems awesome, and you want to be with her.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I might be wrong but this post seems like the infamous quote "Just be yourself".

There are things behind this "Love you and you love me back" you can bet your money!! This guy is good because it´s his "instinct", so he oversimplifies it by saying just love people, maybe he doesn´t even know why he acts the way he does. It´s like asking a gifted person why he´s so good (for instance with guitars), he doesn´t know why or how, he just feels it, he just IS.

I´ve seen plenty of arrogant people pull a lot of tail as well.

 

[lakeshore]

I think this topic is all about taking a GENUINE interest in people.

Key word being GENUINE

I've always struggled in this area because I've been a self absorbed prick mostly. I was always rapped up in my own thoughts and never really cared about anybody else much. I'm talking girls and guys, whoever.

I recently met somebody that gave off the vibes the OP is talking about and was soooo drawn to her because of this. She was just average in looks but there was something about the way she interacted with people that made her so damn lovable. She certainly wasn't perfect but just gave off a vibe that was very attractive. It was a sincerity and genuine feel she had.

I wish I had that. I'm working on it though.

 

[Drewskie]

I think this topic is all about taking a GENUINE interest in people.

Key word being GENUINE

I've always struggled in this area because I've been a self absorbed prick mostly. I was always rapped up in my own thoughts and never really cared about anybody else much. I'm talking girls and guys, whoever.

I recently met somebody that gave off the vibes the OP is talking about and was soooo drawn to her because of this. She was just average in looks but there was something about the way she interacted with people that made her so damn lovable. She certainly wasn't perfect but just gave off a vibe that was very attractive. It was a sincerity and genuine feel she had.

I wish I had that. I'm working on it though.

I think it's something you either have or you don't, not sure if there is a way to "get" it.

 

[dbot]

Isko,

The two pickups are different because the latter is purely for sex (I'm assertive and sexually forward), whereas the former girl is someone who I'm actually interested in dating/seeing more than once (I'm genuinely excited to see/talk to her).

You're always implying a social value, whether it's high or low. If you're simply acting "normal" or not focusing on changing your projections, then your implied social value will be congruent with your own social insecurities. For most people this will be somewhere in the middle. I naturally imply a higher social value because I've reinforced it to myself enough times that I really do see myself as someone of high value. On the other hand, if I were to reinforce to myself that I'm a piece of shit, and other people should treat me like shit, then after enough negative experiences I will begin to project that state automatically.

 

[hnmw]

dbot, I just PM'ed you.

Please reply. Would love to hear your thoughts!

 

[yuppaz]

bumpbumpbumpalumpbump

 

[Chromeo]

How you supposed to unconditionally love someone who treats you like crap?

Or do the only people who treat you like crap are the ones you let treat you that way, either because

1. you dont love them
2. you dont love yourself

?

 

[Johnny Soporno]

I might be wrong but this post seems like the infamous quote "Just be yourself".

Ironically, I agree! Please direct your attention to this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=130415

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Thanks for the tip, L777! I've actually read The Power of Now, but I still don't see how that pertains to your comment, or even what the purpose of your comment was.

You say that "women don't just fuck certain blokes because they 'love' them unconditionally." Do you know this from experience? Have you ever loved a stranger unconditionally? Those of us who have (where are you Johnny Soporno) would consider your statement a bit naive.

"For thou art god, and I am god, and all that groks is god" or it's more traditional equivalent, Nemaste...

In other words, it's EASY TO LOVE EVERYONE, and to look past their failings, seeking for their best attributes - to cherish and appreciate them, and wish them well... without being their slave, nor experiencing their pain, nor permitting yourself to be disrespected.

I am delighted to learn of your enlightenment, Dbot The world is yours!

The unconditional love is the only reason why women I barely know will let me freely explore their bodies without the slightest hint of uneasiness or guilt. They don't feel 'slutty' or 'used' because I love everything about them. I'm sorry but this goes way deeper than just sex. They are literally addicted to the energy that I feed them, and that unconditional love and acceptance is what allows them to embrace it without any inhibition.

Oh, how I know that experience!


Johnny Soporno
Lifestyle Bodhisattva

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Your concept sounds totally plausible. Freely give love and you will get it back.

The problem is how does one apply it to their life when they are not happy?

You have NO REASON to be unhappy.

Get in touch with me: JohnnyS@AlphaCue.com

We'll fix you up.

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Yea that book's just a gateway really. Like I said I read that several years ago and have been on that path ever since - please don't patronise me by suggesting that I'm in any way naive - because I am far from it in terms of both seduction and spirituality...and I know Johnny Soporno's work very well actually.

Hey L777, I have great appreciation for you, and your speaking up to defend me against the Forces of Stupidity, whenever they brought themselves to bear... but I *DO* agree with Dbot, and while he's not explaining what he means particularly well, I am CERTAIN (just from reading what that he has written here) that he HAS transcended, and is living the life most everyone here wishes to do...

But you claiming to be at some sort of higher level in life or something because you have found love for all people may work on the more susceptible in here - but that ain't me, I would consider myself on the way to true enlightenment, and it's amazing, but it won't actually get you laid - like I said, there's no magic bullets in seduction.

This isn't about seduction - it's about CONNECTION.

Years ago, to describe my own personal relationship to women, I coined the term "Omnigyny" - there are NO strangers, just lovers I haven't connected with yet.... I don't consider myself God's Gift to Women, by any means... I consider women God's gift to ME! (And far be it from me to refuse such a sweet gift!)


Of course, this also holds true for men (although I have no sexual interest there) - and I spend my life joyfully providing assistance to *everyone* (of either gender or sexual preference) whom I believe wishes it and will appreciate it, whenever I have the opportunity.

This makes me feel FANTASTIC about MYSELF! And nothing in the world is more compelling than a person who radiates existential successfulness.

And I get the whole energy thing - and it's a powerful tool, but mostly metaphorical, you can give off whatever 'energy' you want, but at the end of the day, it's the woman who decides whether she will sleep with you or not, however great your internal state - you still need game, again, there are no magic bullets in seduction.

Again, the disconnect is that English typing is NOT a good medium to communicate what Dbot is trying to share - and therefore he's not doing a particularly good job of it!

Once again, it's NOT about seduction, it's about CONNECTION!

There are five organic, intrinsic emotionally-grounded requirements which all healthy people share - they all start with the letter A, in English, anyway, so I call them the 5As (although I have published about them elsewhere as the 6 As, including one which it NOT primal nor intrinsic, but rather ego-generated)

Attention,
Appreciation,
Acceptance,
Affection,
and Approval.

(The 6th is Acknowledgement, which can often be substituted for Attention, in ongoing relationships - ie, give a woman your last name, and she'll put up with your hardly being around the house)

Those others are PRIMAL, they do not require language or any ego or even any 'sense of self' whatsoever in order to be critical, vital, and treasured as dearly as water, and often moreso than food.

When you OFFER ALL FIVE, FREELY, recognizing that they COST YOU *NOTHING*, providing they are proffered to those who would accept them (which describes all but the most ego-burdened amongst us) YOU WILL FEEL MORE 'CONNECTED' than I can express. Those five will be returned to you, in abundance, and not merely by the people with whom you've offered them FIRST!

You'll see!

To everyone reading this thread: take dbot's advice with a large pich of salt. Learning to love everyone and project positive 'energy' are very powerful tools, and it is really the way you should live your life. However, if you're thinking that you can just 'learn this' or even truly become like this and then women are going to flock to you, then you're sadly mistaken, it's not going to happen.

I'm sorry, I've found the opposite to be true. When what Dbot has described, and what I've just described, truly overpower your ego, you will know that what we're saying is genuine and beautiful and is NOT a 'technique' nor tool, but rather a transcendent enlightenment, which you will also feel compelled to share with all who'll appreciate it.

it's not a seduction technique, and as much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, the results bdot suggests are not really realistic.

That's the sound of 'limiting beliefs' L777 -
Please go to http://LifesCheatCodes.com and grab my Interview with Jamie Smart from there (there's lots of other free stuff on there you'll appreciate too!) and give it a listen a couple of times through...

Best of luck, to you and everyone!

We're all in this together

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy