Your PERSONALITY is what attracts women.....it's the sizzle, not the steak

[STR8UP]

Looking back on my experiences with women I have come to to realize that women ARE NOT attracted to things such as money and status, so much as they are to the PERSONALITY TRAITS that are found with the men who possess these kinds of things.

Case in point-

Awhile back I worked in a restaurant with a chick that I thought was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Great personality, the works. I never bothered to pursue her because I thought she had a boyfriend.

I had probably worked with this girl for a year when I closed on my first ever real estate deal. The deal turned out to be SWEET, and I walked away feeling like a million bucks. I treated myself to a hot car which made me feel like I had made it, like I was THE MAN.

I have to say that at that point in my life I possessed a nearly unstoppable confidence. Soon after I bought the car, I shaved my head, pierced my ears, and updated my wardrobe. I felt like I was on top of the world, and it showed.

Now that I felt like a new man, for some reason this co-worker who I had assumed had a boyfriend took an interest in me. One thing led to another, and before I knew it I had a hot new girlfriend, while several other guys who had been pursuing her were forced to drool from the sidelines. Incidentally she DID NOT have a boyfriend the entire year......she was just being strung along by her ex.

Since I actualy lived with this girl for over a year I KNOW she wasn't with me because she thought I had money. She actually helped suport me through a rough time when I started my business. Definitely not a golddigger, but she realized early on that I KNEW that one day I would make it, even though in this stage of my life I had nothing more than a nice car to show for it.

It was an overnight transition. As soon as I felt and acted like a million bucks the women came out of the woodwork. A month or so before I hooked up with the hottie I had a different chick mesmerized by my aura. Her friend told me she wanted to "follow me home" the first night we met...lol.

Soon after I started dating the hottie, I also had to diss another girl who was trying to kiss on me and get me to come to her hotel room. I had to pass, since I didn't want to screw up my new relationship.

During this period in my life where I displayed the traits of a "successful person" I got more action from women than at any other time in my life. It's HOW YOU ACT not WHAT YOU HAVE that attracts women.

Anyone have similar experiences?

 

[SAYNO]

Hmm

It's HOW YOU ACT not WHAT YOU HAVE that = having confidence!





SAYNO'

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Your charming personality doesn't make you look any better with your shirt off.

 

[STR8UP]

.

 

[STR8UP]

Huh?

I'm not talking about looks vs. personality. I'm talking about having a million dollar attitude without necessarily having a million dollars.

People tend to believe that women are attracted to you when they SEE that you have made something of yourself. I am saying that the thing that triggers their attraction ISN'T the trappings of success or your job title nearly as much as how you carry yourself when you KNOW you are successful or have status.

I absolutely HATE it when my friends introduce me to women by telling them of my accomplishments. It never fails, when I am introduced as owning a well recognized business or lots of real estate the women ALWAYS get that "wow, like I should be impressed" look on their faces and it actually HURTS my chances of hooking up.

They do this sh!t all of the time. Probably trying to build up their status by associating with someone who is accomplished, and I'm sure they also think they are doing me a favor as well.

All of the material posessions and job titles in the world won't get you laid NEARLY as quickly as the right attitude will.

 

[Alicorn]

Originally posted by STR8UP
Huh?

I'm not talking about looks vs. personality. I'm talking about having a million dollar attitude without necessarily having a million dollars.

This is how losers, actual jerks, thugs and others are attracting women and why "normal" men look at that and say "WTF!"

The problem seems to be that women can't tell the difference between the "steak and the sizzle." Women will run for the thug or the rough appearing guy while ignoring the quiet confidence of the Army Ranger who actually does slit throats in his day to day life.

Originally posted by STR8UP
People tend to believe that women are attracted to you when they SEE that you have made something of yourself. I am saying that the thing that triggers their attraction ISN'T the trappings of success or your job title nearly as much as how you carry yourself when you KNOW you are successful or have status.

Or you can fake that aura: enter the thug.

Originally posted by STR8UP
I absolutely HATE it when my friends introduce me to women by telling them of my accomplishments. It never fails, when I am introduced as owning a well recognized business or lots of real estate the women ALWAYS get that "wow, like I should be impressed" look on their faces and it actually HURTS my chances of hooking up.

They do this sh!t all of the time. Probably trying to build up their status by associating with someone who is accomplished, and I'm sure they also think they are doing me a favor as well.

Ever think they know it's lowering your chances and they are trying to sabotoge you? Less competition for them.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by Alicorn
Ever think they know it's lowering your chances and they are trying to sabotoge you? Less competition for them.

Possible, but I doubt it.

It's like they are proud to be associated with me and they are showing off their connections. Still, it might as well be coming out of MY mouth if I am standing right there when they are saying it. Might be different if I weren't around and someone was talking me up....

I can see how in today's world it would be of evolutionary benefit for people to put on a good show. I mean, no one really knows how much you are worth.....all they have to go by when judging your wealth is your material posessions and the way you act. I would say that for the most part GUYS are impressed with the material possessions, whereas women are impressed by the attitude that comes with feeling successful. Some of the most successful PUA's I have known never studies seduction, weren't that good looking, and had no money, yet gave off this vibe that all is good and they could handle anything life threw their way.

Women today haven't been able to evolve their sensory systems fast enough to be able to effectively weed out the good from the bad, since the world has changed so much in the past couple hundred years. Nowadays it's much easier to fake your way through life with credit cards, the internet, etc., than it would have been, say 500 yrs ago.

 

[bobbob]

Originally posted by STR8UP
Looking back on my experiences with women I have come to to realize that women ARE NOT attracted to things such as money and status, so much as they are to the PERSONALITY TRAITS that are found with the men who possess these kinds of things.

Case in point-

Awhile back I worked in a restaurant with a chick that I thought was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Great personality, the works. I never bothered to pursue her because I thought she had a boyfriend.

I had probably worked with this girl for a year when I closed on my first ever real estate deal. The deal turned out to be SWEET, and I walked away feeling like a million bucks. I treated myself to a hot car which made me feel like I had made it, like I was THE MAN.

I have to say that at that point in my life I possessed a nearly unstoppable confidence. Soon after I bought the car, I shaved my head, pierced my ears, and updated my wardrobe. I felt like I was on top of the world, and it showed.

Now that I felt like a new man, for some reason this co-worker who I had assumed had a boyfriend took an interest in me. One thing led to another, and before I knew it I had a hot new girlfriend, while several other guys who had been pursuing her were forced to drool from the sidelines. Incidentally she DID NOT have a boyfriend the entire year......she was just being strung along by her ex.

Since I actualy lived with this girl for over a year I KNOW she wasn't with me because she thought I had money. She actually helped suport me through a rough time when I started my business. Definitely not a golddigger, but she realized early on that I KNEW that one day I would make it, even though in this stage of my life I had nothing more than a nice car to show for it.

It was an overnight transition. As soon as I felt and acted like a million bucks the women came out of the woodwork. A month or so before I hooked up with the hottie I had a different chick mesmerized by my aura. Her friend told me she wanted to "follow me home" the first night we met...lol.

Soon after I started dating the hottie, I also had to diss another girl who was trying to kiss on me and get me to come to her hotel room. I had to pass, since I didn't want to screw up my new relationship.

During this period in my life where I displayed the traits of a "successful person" I got more action from women than at any other time in my life. It's HOW YOU ACT not WHAT YOU HAVE that attracts women.

Anyone have similar experiences?

This post sucks, you shouldn't be giving advice.

You waited a full year before making a move, your success was contingent on wasting money on an expensive car and success in a real estate deal ... none of this advice is transferrable.

What would have happened if that real estate deal hadn't gone through?

Why did you even care that she had a boyfriend?

If your success and "game" is contingent on outside success, your success will never last.

I banged a stripper and 2 nights later I had the confidence and "aura" to get an incredibly hot 18 year old's phone number in a noisy bar ... but confidence like that is fleeting and a week later was right back to being my normal self.

its about the skills, not the girl. peace

 

[STR8UP]

Re: Re: Your PERSONALITY is what attracts women.....it's the sizzle, not the steak

Originally posted by bobbob
This post sucks, you shouldn't be giving advice.

Quite a pissy attitude there bob....I bet that gets you far in life.

Dude, this is a DISCUSSION. I wasn't giving advice, I was making an observation.

You waited a full year before making a move, your success was contingent on wasting money on an expensive car and success in a real estate deal ... none of this advice is transferrable.

Once again, you must not have read the post because I WASN'T giving advice, and my success WASN'T contingent on the car or the deal, it was contigent on the way people perceived me at the time.

What would have happened if that real estate deal hadn't gone through?

What do you mean, "What would have happened?"

I probably wouldn't have hooked up with the chcik because I wouldn't have had that confidence boost. That is what this post is about....what's your point?

Why did you even care that she had a boyfriend?

Well, at the time I considered that to be off limits. My views have changed a bit as I have gotten older, but I still generally don't make it a habit of trying to steal girlfriends.

If your success and "game" is contingent on outside success, your success will never last.

I banged a stripper and 2 nights later I had the confidence and "aura" to get an incredibly hot 18 year old's phone number in a noisy bar ... but confidence like that is fleeting and a week later was right back to being my normal self.

its about the skills, not the girl. peace

I think you have a reading comprehension problem. You are SO far off base from what I was posting about.

 

[MightyMate]

Yeah woman cae mostly for personality, and for what You can do in bed.

 

[bobbob]

Re: Re: Re: Your PERSONALITY is what attracts women.....it's the sizzle, not the steak

Originally posted by STR8UP
Quite a pissy attitude there bob....I bet that gets you far in life.

Dude, this is a DISCUSSION. I wasn't giving advice, I was making an observation.



Once again, you must not have read the post because I WASN'T giving advice, and my success WASN'T contingent on the car or the deal, it was contigent on the way people perceived me at the time.



What do you mean, "What would have happened?"

I probably wouldn't have hooked up with the chcik because I wouldn't have had that confidence boost. That is what this post is about....what's your point?



Well, at the time I considered that to be off limits. My views have changed a bit as I have gotten older, but I still generally don't make it a habit of trying to steal girlfriends.



I think you have a reading comprehension problem. You are SO far off base from what I was posting about.

Ok then, I don't get it, what was the point of your post? Were you just asking if other people have been in situations where they had momentum and it helped their confidence with women? I'm sure everyone has.

Your success was contingent on the car and the deal - without thouse 2 things, you would have had no momentum. Your momentum gave you a confidence boost that attracted the girl to you. That's why I brought up the example I did in my first reply.

Momentum is awesome and very powerful, but its only a temporary thing, unless you work very very hard to sustain it.

The title of your thread is a statement, not a question - of course its going to sound like advice!!

And I wasn't pissy towards you specifically, just the drivel that's getting posted on this site.

peace

 

[KarmaSutra]

Re: Re: Your PERSONALITY is what attracts women.....it's the sizzle, not the steak

Originally posted by bobbob
This post sucks, you shouldn't be giving advice.

You waited a full year before making a move, your success was contingent on wasting money on an expensive car and success in a real estate deal ... none of this advice is transferrable.

What would have happened if that real estate deal hadn't gone through?

Why did you even care that she had a boyfriend?

If your success and "game" is contingent on outside success, your success will never last.

I banged a stripper and 2 nights later I had the confidence and "aura" to get an incredibly hot 18 year old's phone number in a noisy bar ... but confidence like that is fleeting and a week later was right back to being my normal self.

its about the skills, not the girl. peace

I see you've learned a new word (contingent). That's what makes you the coolest guy on the playground.

Oh, and how did the other 473 guys that banged down that skank taste? Bangin' a naked waitress doesn't make one a PUA, A seductionist, or a Don Juan. It makes you a chump with an extra $20 in his pocket who doesn't mind eatin' other guys' nuttbutter by-proxy.

You'll always be the coolest guy I know . . .:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[bobbob]

Re: Re: Re: Your PERSONALITY is what attracts women.....it's the sizzle, not the steak

Originally posted by KarmaSutra
I see you've learned a new word (contingent). That's what makes you the coolest guy on the playground.

Oh, and how did the other 473 guys that banged down that skank taste? Bangin' a naked waitress doesn't make one a PUA, A seductionist, or a Don Juan. It makes you a chump with an extra $20 in his pocket who doesn't mind eatin' other guys' nuttbutter by-proxy.

You'll always be the coolest guy I know . . .:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Wow, you crack me up Between your cigar post and this. You also suffer from some mild form of retardation since you totally missed the point of why I brought up the stripper thing.

I fear for the world if you breed ...

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by SonOfTheMostHigh
STR8UP

You're wrong... Let me tell you a sad story:

Women want men who can protect and provide for their children ALWAYS, subcosciously.

Of course they do.

But what I am saying is that the majority of women are not like the one you describe....they aren't overtly looking to marry into money. Most women are attracted to the attitude a successful person has.

I'm not saying that money doesn't attract women, I saying that MOST women are more attracted to the way they perceive a successful person to act, rather than the fruits of their success.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

This is a good post by Str8up. I don't get what the confusion is about though. Case in point:

Two men are millionaires. One of them is "self made" while the other is a lottery winner. All other things being equal, I think we'll all agree that the self made millionaire will be more "attractive" simply because the qualities necessary to make lots of money are also qualities that women value in a long term mate.

Cesare Cardinali

 

[Create Reality]

STR8UP and SonOfTheMostHigh, you are BOTH right. Personality is the SIZZLE while being a provider is the STEAK.

Ever buy a steak because you heard it on the grill and the popping oil and juices just sounded too good? That is the sizzle; the outside appearance that ATTRACTS. But ever buy a steak because you were just plain HUNGRY? That's why you eat the steak, duh!

I think it's similar to attracting women. I see quality ones that are ALREADY WELL FED (relationship, **** buddy). Its the SIZZZZLE thats gonna pull them to you.

Mmmmm put on some secret sauce

 

[KarmaSutra]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Your PERSONALITY is what attracts women.....it's the sizzle, not the steak

Originally posted by bobbob
Wow, you crack me up Between your cigar post and this. You also suffer from some mild form of retardation since you totally missed the point of why I brought up the stripper thing.

I fear for the world if you breed ...

You're too cool man.

 

[blueguy]

Women fall in love emotionally, not logically.

They don't think to themselves, "Jeff has more money than Bob, so I think I'll fall in love with Jeff." I know this. I've lost girls to guys who make 10x less money than I do simply because the qualities used to become an alpha provider were more evident in them.

This is what women respond to - alpha male behavior. Nothing else is needed.

Looks and money are only screening factors. If a woman allowed herself to fall in love with the ugliest, poorest man on earth, they would. But most women simply won't convenience themsleves around such a man to allow this, which is why they will often try to determine your income on the first date and judge your appearance even before they accept a date. They don't want to fall in love with a "loser."

Dressing like you have a lot of money is often more important than actually having a lot of money because it translates to the woman emotionally and can influence her reaction to your behavior. It also does reflect your personality.

I agree with the original poster in that no matter what you look like or how much money you have, if you can demonstrate alpha behavior and trigger the biological mechanisms in women that respond to these behaviors naturally, you don't need anything else to make her fall in love with you.

If you want her to marry you, that's another story. But marriage is a logical establishment.

 

[tmpgstx]

It's all about potential. The guy's potential as opposed to what he has that they see working for him in what he's doing, such as taking risks with a new business etc. Wanting and knowing he will make a better life for himself.

She already believes in him because he does. She doesn't doubt him because he doesn't doubt himself. She's attracted to him because he's all about success (which unfortunately, not many people are). It gives off a radiance that only success can define.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

WOW is this the JADED section of the forum. You guys sound like you have all been kicked and ran over TEN too many times.

Money plus all that other BS is important, but personality is where it is at.

Some of you guys will never feel confident until yo u have alot of money, the perfect car, or even the perfect body. A good attitude and a great personality is something that anyone can have at any moment. CONTROL the things that your able to.

Good luck