Your own world

[backbreaker]

Life is not linear. You don't always go up. You don't always get better. Sometimes you're going to be better than you were the day before, sometimes you're not going to be as good as you were the day before.


I'm really feeling warrior's post about wanting to give up. It hits home because I know exactly what he's feeling right now. I know that I can be kinda brazen at times here and it rubs people the wrong way at times, but man I don't think very many people here realize what it's like to have NOTHING. but themselves. Even warrior has a daughter.


How would you feel if your own mother would not invite you to her house for holidays because she was ashamed of you? I've been there. How would you feel if your grandmother kicked you out of her house because her (Crackhead) BF didn't like you lol? Been there too.


No support system. No friends. No money. No food. No social life.


And everyone is telling you to wait. Be patient. Giving you these hallmark ass platitudes and you're busting your ass lonely and broke lol. Working on Friday / Saturday night because if you're being honest with yourself, you're not motivated.. you literally have nothing else you could do.


The most important thing I ever learned how to do, was not necessarily some great business idea, or how to sale this or how to do talk to clients. It was learning how to get up and work my ass off when I felt I hopeless.


I remember one day in particular. I had worked my ass off that week and I forgot the movie that had came out but dammit, I was going to the movies. I was all happy and **** lol. I took my one little outfit I had, and took it to the cleaners. it was a white button church shirt shirt and some slacks. To the f'n movies lol But this is all I had. But you couldn't tell me anything.

I get to the movies early I'm so happy. And I don't know why I was so depressed this day but seeing all these people, my age, happy, having fun with other people and I was overweight, lonely, broke, with no end in sight, i got so depressed i cried and went home. Didn't even watch the movie. I lost it that night. It all hit home to me just how pathetic I had become. I had no mom or dad to call up, no friends to cheer me up. I stopped by taco bell and ate / cried myself to sleep. That's a place I don't even let myself take myself mentally anymore it hurt so bad. Just pure depression. Major depression.


It burned me to the core to see dudes with no ambition whatsoever, who were true losers in every since of the world, have social lives that I would kill for. Dudes with no jobs, deciding do they want to **** this girl or that girl or go hang with the guys or say **** it and just go clubbing. I had none of these options.


I remember that night. Kinda like the movie V for Vendetta where Evie is on the tower and the rain hits.. I was either going to learn how to fight through my depression or I was going to kill myself. AT this point, there were no other choices. I had nothing else to live for at the time.


So I decided I'm going to use my best asset to my advantage; my creativity.


I basically created my own world to the best of my ability and refused to leave it. I scraped together whatever I could and bought some horse racing posters and some jazz posters and hung them in my apartment. I learned how to cook really good / exotic foods. I got downloaded a bunch of jazz music and put a jazz loop on my pc. I bought some books and started throwing myself in them. I bought a few video games that I knew would be testing. I read the daily racing form every morning even though I didn't have a dime to bet at the time.

I basically created to the best of my ability the person I wanted to be. The jazz, the history books, the horse racing. that's backbreaker.

I always wanted to be the guy with the crib and the girl comes over his house and he's got miles davis playing the background while he's grilling fish tacos and opening up a bottle of wine. That's me. Now I was that. lol just without the crib and the girl lol.


I don't know where I would be today, seriously, if it weren't for little **** like, law and order, julie london, chicken and shrimp Alfredo with garlic potatoes lol. I always wanted saltwater fish but I was too poor to buy fish lol so I just read fish related forms everyday. Now I have real fish. I was so happy the day I was able to buy a real fish tank lol.


Then eventually.. though it took a while things started to turn around. I got in better shape, the wardrobe got better, women came around and in the end, I was better for it all becuase I honestly, did not need women. Still don't. I love my wife to death but don't get it twisted lol.


Create your own world. To the best of your ability. That's how you get to the next day when you have no reason to get up in the morning, no reason to fight. Change the arena.

 

[Mr.Positive]

You have to own your existence. I don't know how to put that into words...

It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, only what you think. It doesn't matter how you appear to others, it's how you appear to yourself.

Life is this amazing adventure, yet I see so much clutter that blinds folks from seeing it.

Folks are the biggest stumbling block, themselves.

All you need to start with, is to just "BE". Just exist, just breath, in and out, then start building upon that. It really is that simple. Pick a target, set your sights, then get that ****ing win. Own it, the whole time. Be that with women, your career, and just life.

Life doesn't stop, even if we do. If we hit brick walls that keep us from moving forward, life still moves on. Move around those walls, better yet, see them coming.

There is no comparing ourselves to others, just what we see right in front of us, those challenges, in front. Meet them like men.

 

[zekko]

I'm really feeling warrior's post about wanting to give up. It hits home because I know exactly what he's feeling right now.

I know you're always encouraging Warrior and that's admirable, but I think there's a big difference in how you were destitute when you were, what? 21? 22? and Warrior, who is 39. Most guys have nothing when they were that young. You climbed out of your hole quicker than I did, for example. I didn't really find my real success until my early 30s, I had several false starts in my 20s. But yeah, you can't give up.

I like the rest of the post about creating your own world. That is something I've definitely tried to do with my house, making it the kind of home I want to live in, with all the associated comforts, atmosphere, hobbies, and stuff I'm interested in.

When it comes to the outside world, though, it's a lot more difficult. Because you can't control that. Women, for instance, you can't control how women are going to react to you. So you can't just go to the candy store and say "I'll have that blonde, that brunette, and that redhead". You can only be you, the best you that you can be, and hope that will attract the kind of women that you want.

 

[Tictac]

Who is 'telling you to wait'?

Work instead.

I'll tell you what. I tried to tell 'warrior'.

Do two things each day, no matter how small, to move you forward. Just two. The difference that will make in a single month will stun you.

 

[backbreaker]

I know you're always encouraging Warrior and that's admirable, but I think there's a big difference in how you were destitute when you were, what? 21? 22? and Warrior, who is 39. Most guys have nothing when they were that young. You climbed out of your hole quicker than I did, for example. I didn't really find my real success until my early 30s, I had several false starts in my 20s. But yeah, you can't give up.

I like the rest of the post about creating your own world. That is something I've definitely tried to do with my house, making it the kind of home I want to live in, with all the associated comforts, atmosphere, hobbies, and stuff I'm interested in.

When it comes to the outside world, though, it's a lot more difficult. Because you can't control that. Women, for instance, you can't control how women are going to react to you. So you can't just go to the candy store and say "I'll have that blonde, that brunette, and that redhead". You can only be you, the best you that you can be, and hope that will attract the kind of women that you want.

yes you can it's called the strip club ! :yes:


There's some merit to what you're saying. But still, it's pretty hard to tell a kid who the rest of his peers are playing beer pong and going to parties and you are walking around with holes in your shoes that you don't have it that bad.


Warrior if you're reading this thread pm me i want to talk to you i'm worried about you bro.

 

[Boilermaker]

The fvck is wrong with Warrior?

He needs help?

I am here to help.

Financially/ Emotionally / Brotherly / or whatever he needs.

 

[Boilermaker]

yes you can it's called the strip club ! :yes:


There's some merit to what you're saying. But still, it's pretty hard to tell a kid who the rest of his peers are playing beer pong and going to parties and you are walking around with holes in your shoes that you don't have it that bad.


Warrior if you're reading this thread pm me i want to talk to you i'm worried about you bro.

B - Zeek is spot on. You made it out to a stable spot much before than anyone.

I am a year your junior, and still licking the floor even though on paper "I am doing PhD" ...

It's hard to emphatize sometimes, this may be one of those moments.

Respect,

 

[BeDJ]

The fvck is wrong with Warrior?

He needs help?

I am here to help.

Financially/ Emotionally / Brotherly / or whatever he needs.

You are a good man.

 

[backbreaker]

i'll, agree with you boilermaker. maybe this is just one of those things i don't understand. i'm not 39 years old

 

[Jules_Winfield]

I think one mistake we all make is to not embrace the bad times. The bad times are when we grow. Focus on not being lost in your despair. Appreciate the situation you're in and the version of yourself you have to look forward to when the bad times are over.

 

[guru1000]

[E]mbrace the bad times. The bad times are when we grow.

Here is the secret that the human mind cannot begin to understand and only the savvy can appreciate.

 

[Rubirosa]

Miles Davis.......Really intersting guy......Apart from the trumpet, his hobbies were boxing and clothes......Ever see that famous shot of him standing in front of his closet ?
I really like his albums "Kind of Blue" and "Sketches of Spain"......
He was from that era when a jazz musician could make some serious money. I heard that in the 1980's he was living in Malibu and driving a Ferrari. Practically impossible for a non singing jazz musicain to live like that today.
I like cooking as well BB.
Greatest excuse in the World to get a chick over to your place!
I'll be honest....Some of your posts go on and on, but that was an enjoyable read !

 

[backbreaker]

Miles Davis.......Really intersting guy......Apart from the trumpet, his hobbies were boxing and clothes......Ever see that famous shot of him standing in front of his closet ?

and heroin lol

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Back Breaker,
Yeah you know life!

 

[sharkbeat]

It was learning how to get up and work my ass off when I felt I hopeless.

Well, this is what's most important. Regardless of where you are, you will fail again and again. You could be a millionaire now, you can still fall again and back to square 0 just because nature decides to **** with you. You think you are good and alpha? Think again. I always laugh whenever I see anyone, outside or on this board, act like they are the alphas. They think alphahood is having X-inch biceps, walk with a swagger, and bling bling. Boy are they wrong.