Your opinion on when she spins plates

[Delly2000]

I think its a sign of low quality personally. See Roissy:

I am glad you bought some reason to this thread. I don't see the appeal of dating a girl you know is sleeping with others. Can u honestly see urself having a future with her or even respect her knowing that the next day someone else sliding up in her. Cut her loose and let the other guys share her.

People just don't get it. Men and women are different.

 

[backbreaker]

You raise some good questions. I am under the assumption if I am having sex with her, she is having sex with others. Especially if it did not take long to be getting it from her. Who knows, she may be only just doing you, but you wanna know something? I am not betting against it... and I assume she is screwing everybody.. You should be too!!

You cannot hold a woman to a standard that you do not hold yourself to. don't give me the women are different bull****, that's nothing more than a bruised ego.

I slept with women when i was spinning plates. Part of doing that is saying okay, if i am going to do that, i can't get mad at a woman for doing ti either. If i am out just having fun a few nights a week with some causal sex thrown in, i can't get mad at a woman for trying to get out the house for a few nights a week and having causal sex with a man she is attracted to. and honestly, when i was seriously spinning plates, this was not even something i really cared about, beucase i never saw any girl in any light other than something to do and to have fun with.

now, once i settled down and only dated one woman, yeah.

we had this exact same convo here a few months ago. It's so fvcking stupid and more than anything reeks of very low self esteem. the truth is you don't want her to compare you to anyone else. how is that ANY different than a woman who takes you a few times and now wants to put the clamps on you beucase she does not like the idea of her having any competition. both of you have the exact same problem, you are needy and don't want to compete for your sex with anyone.


Now, if you are single and you believe that if you are dating or going out with someone that you do not have the right to sleep with anyone else at that time and you actually adhere by that, you have every right to demand that out of your girl you are "seeing". I'm not saying i agree with it, but only then do you have the right to do so.

 

[SoldMySoul]

You cannot hold a woman to a standard that you do not hold yourself to. don't give me the women are different bull****, that's nothing more than a bruised ego.

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BB, if my ego were bruised, I would certainly admit it. However, in this instance, certainly NOT the case. I am really not the plate spinner, but if need be, I can. I simply am looking for something more long term. Once I had an idea she was spinning the plates, I decided, "hell why not?"

I can say maybe I should start spinning more plates and treating them all like pieces of meat and live up to the label of men being dogs.

I merely asked the question what do you guys think of your plates spinning? Mighty presumptuous of you to think what you do.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Yeah BB, you're getting very close to the shame card here.


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If I didn't like BB or respect most of his advice, opinions and thoughts.. I would have probably taken off the kid gloves. Danger, as you eluded to..men and women are different. We cannot be held to the same standards. Well in my case if I am interested in one, then she can. If we are sexually active and I am not spinning plates, in which case this particular one I wasn't, then I do expect a little more. So if I find she is spinning plates, then I start looking elsewhere.

As one user said, be glad you are in her life as such. But I digress... Funny thing is the women whom I told I want no part of it, seems to stay in touch. Yeah and okay, whatever. Could be a million reasons why and one that comes to mind is a spare tire. I will go a few days and ignore her, she is the typical one that hates that and will get in touch after being ignored.

I like her and we did have a certain degree of fun, but I am not sure I would want her type in my life. I am playing with the idea since it was created in her mind as keeping me as a back up plan. I may do her the same.

But if my ego were bruised, I would come right and say. It simply isn't.

 

[Delly2000]

A girl sleeping with other guys when you sleeping with her just messes everything up. She loses respect for you. She lies about things because she has to. She has a rating system of who she feels more affection for and the other guys get shuffled to the bottom of the deck. Can true intamicy occur if she out there sleeping with other dudes?

If the other guy isn't paying her attention she will call you. Your second best. If ur first she goes to number two for some lovin. She is obviously a user. A low quality woman. You want to date a low quality woman? That should eat away at ur self esteem litttle by little even if just subconcioiusly.

Just describing it I am getting confused. Its just confusion. Its a game. And its rigged.

Its not about having a bruised ego. Its just the way things are. It isn't my fault men and women are different. Or why they write all these books about this going on (Men from Mars Women From Venus)...its just something that has been observed. Its just the way it is. Thats why we even come to this forum because we just dont get it.

This behavior ur describing is when a man and woman are not ready to settle down and just out there sexin. From this dynamic I just don't see anything serious evolving.

 

[backbreaker]

this is one we are going to have to agree to disagree on. i don't buy it and i don't practice.

I think the difference between me and most people here, is that I put up an additional mental buffer between when i met a woman and when i "court them".

when i met a woman, and i take her out, it' sjust that. I'm getting out the house with an attractive woman, having a good time. nothing less nothing more. if we have sex great if not oh well. what a woman does in this period, i really do not care beudcase i don't kn ow if i even like her enough to date yet. I do not go in with any real expections other than to find a woman to have fun with from time to time.

to put in perspective, in my adult live i have had all of 3 "girlfriends". ONE LASTED 6 months, one a little over a year and one is my wife. the one that lasted 6 months it took me about 2 months to screen her, the one that lated a little over a year it took me 6 months to screen her and my wife it took a little under 3 months give or take. durning this time, im' not only spinning paltes, i am taking my time to figure out if this is someone iw ant to date or not. and i have probably went on close to 100 first dates. 3 out of 100. 3.

i screen the fvcking **** out of my women lol. i refuse to go into a relationship not knowing all i need to know about a woman and a few women who i got "that feeling" for once i got to know them i was glad i did not pull the trigger.

what i am getting at is, in that time period, every woman i met gets put in that process, and int hat process i'm still doing what want to do. i' m not going to hold it against you if you are hedging your bets in fact i would go so far to say that would be prudent because i am picky. now if you fvck half the city that tells me something about you, but if you havea guy or so around, meh. once i decide i want a woman and i put the clamps on them it's a wrap.

I mean, using common sense, if she is *** dumpster or something and is a "party girl" than obviously that's something i am going to take into account as far as taking her more seriously. but a woman having sex with another guy in this period really is not the biggest of deals to me,
beucase i don't even know if i want to date her yet therefore it's not really fair for me to hold her to some dating standard.

actually, and this is just me i'm nt sayi9ng this is written in stone or some ****, my luck is better with women who keep their options open for alittle bit. usually the way it tends to work is we do our thing, we go our seperate ways, then after a month or so we enter into "clean up time " lol.l by clean up time i mean clean up all the baggage from your past relationships before i commit. lke amber the 1 year girl i know she was ****ing her ex bf but **** she was fvcking me as well and quite often so i knew she liked me. once i reallys tarted to dig her i let her know i would be open to dating her but she had to clean it up wtih the ex and i ahd tob e 100% sure he wasn't in the picture. my wife had 2 guys that took her out a lot but she never had sex wtih any of them. same deal with her, i told her hey, i like you but they go to go. once you show me you are serious i will drop the rest of my plates.

the worst experiences i have had are with women who commit too quick. i had this one girl, Chrstina, who was very good looking and younger and after like 2 dates she was begging me to her BF. and she was attractive, and i considered it, but i mean.. i don't know what it was i just didn't feel it. it's like i just could not take her seriously. and i know beyond a doubt she cut her orbiters off when we got together and she was trying to clean up her act for me, well she wasn't really dirty in the first place but just wanted to show me she was serious but **** I wasn't serious. io dropped her when i met my wife, i felt bad for her, she's a good girl. she cried called me every name in the book and the whole time i am telling her i never told you to stop talking to other guys you did that **** on your own. i found someone who i am compatible with and i want to give it a go. the other girl who committed to me too soon when i told her it was over she busted a vase on top of my head , all of this trying to cut out my plates once i met my now wife. and she was even worse beucase she lived like 2 blocks from my house and would snoop by to see any cars she did not know.




now, once i decide i want to date her and i am 100% sure she has no more plates, then i get emotionally invested.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Royal Flush,
"BB you have been domesticated."....Naah!....'Aint the Woman born that could do that,the Old Backbreaker is the original Maverick!

 

[zekko]

Is there necessarily something wrong with a woman that is single and goes out on first or second dates with more than one man but isn't sleeping with any of them yet? I don't see anything objectionable about that or that demonstrates she's low quality.

Yeah, I don't think a girl spinning plates means that she's necessarily sleeping with every guy that comes along. Such a girl would merely be a slvt.
I've always considered girl who spin plates as "entertaining suitors", that is she shops around and explores her options. Nothing wrong with that. If she's an attractive woman she's going to get invited out a lot.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Yeah, I don't think a girl spinning plates means that she's necessarily sleeping with every guy that comes along. Such a girl would merely be a slvt.
I've always considered girl who spin plates as "entertaining suitors", that is she shops around and explores her options. Nothing wrong with that. If she's an attractive woman she's going to get invited out a lot.

Zekko, you are on the same page. My initial thread was not to say if I did or did not approve of the snoring plate spinner. It was to see what other DJs thought about their very own plates. I was able to give one of mine as an example of just someone that really is not worthy to be in presence any longer. I will admit Backbreaker I have considered keeping her around because we did have some fun. But I couldn't stop the wheels from turning in my head that just said, "Move on" That is exactly what I have done.

One thing this site has drilled home for me is that the more options you have, the less stuff like this bother you. I will also admit, years ago I would have had a seriously bruised ego as BB said. This time no way because my options are plentiful enough for my liking.

True, my plate spinner may not be doing many if any guys, but I wouldn't bet on it. Just like in a man's case. If he has a nice piece of a$$ right in front of him wanting to get horizontal, what you think he will do? Same as the she will do. I do not think too harshly of mine, but I do think she is a whiskey hotel oscar romeo echo of sorts. Can't change my mind on that one.