Your methods of coping with rejection/being dumped

[Jariel]

We've all been there. Either we've been rejected by someone we were really into or dumped by a girlfriend.. It hurts real bad. It can even last for weeks or months and spiral into depression.

I was dumped just a few days ago and it's hit me a bit harder than I expected it would, but it has got me thinking of the ways I usually cope with these things and move forward. So I thought I'd share some of my methods and open it up for everyone to share their ideas.

Now I'm not talking about ways to win her back, but rather ways to get over them and get on with your life. Afterall, the best way to win her back is actually to move on anyway.

Here's my suggestions...

Hitting the weights - This always makes me feel better as it gets the emotion out of my system and gives me a feeling of control.

Listening to aggressive music - I like the adrenaline rush it gives me and feel it's much better to get in touch with my anger than to mope and feel upset.

Taking on a project - DIY, a new website, building a computer, fixing a car, anything that is going to require attention and has an end goal. It's a great distraction.

Seeking new prospects - Some guys say the best way to get over an ex is to sleep with 10 other women. Apart from being unrealistic, I've never found rebound sex to be much comfort. However, talking to other women and having the prospects there for when you're ready to move on is very helpful.

Getting closure/acceptance - Holding out hope of getting back together with an ex, trying to "fix" things or waiting for her to change her mind is like an open wound that will never heal. You need to accept that it's over, cut ties and move forward.

Hanging out with friends - Another great distraction and it's good to have company when you're feeling rejected or lonely.

Well, those are some of my best suggestions. Any more would be welcome.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

You have most of it covered there.

Moving around the house really helped during my last break up. Purchased a new bed, new sheets then re-decorated and moved into a different bedroom. This must have helped clear old memories of sleeping with the ex.

Taking on a project does help in the long run to a certain extent, although I found sometimes this left me feeling a little miserable as I was at home doing these things alone.

Looking for new prospects is an absolute must. I agree that sleeping with other women didn't really help, it was having a number of prospects with high IL that wanted to spend time with me. Mainly due to finding women with qualities that my ex didn't have and realizing there are women just as good or even better out there - it feels very rewarding.

Setting up regular activites helps combat the lonliness and gives something to look forward to. Getting out and about and avoid staying at home alone.

The major part for me was booking a lads holiday and consulting a personal trainer to get me lean before going on holiday.

With the gym the agressive approach and music didn't quite work for me. This lead me to becoming very stressed. Listening to more "feel good" tunes gave a good feeling that I was progressing in life.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

Backstory:

Was with girl for almost 7 years and she dumped me in January of 2011. It hurt me more than when my dad died. I felt like I lost who I was and the rejection seemed to cause a never ending sting. I felt alone, trapped, emasculated and heartbroken.

The only way for me to get better was to improve everything about me, thus creating a "new" me.

I am still not 100% there but I am getting there.

My course of action:

Go to the gym: I have lost almost 100 pound since then and put on a nice amount of muscle. I feel better, I look better, I sleep better, I have more energy and it has helped my confidence tremendously. It will help you too!

Get a haircut: I know it may sound spurious but it has helped a lot with my confidence as well. I used to cut my own hair (shaved head) but when you look better, you feel better

Update your wardrobe: Again, when you look better and wear nicer clothing, you will feel better and it will show. People notice when you are confident and they'll respect you as a result.

Read: Books, forums, websites, etc. Anything to make your life better and improve who you are as a human being. I found the "seduction" community as a result of my breakup and I can easily say it was worked wonders in my life and who I am as a person.

Hang out with friends: This is for 3 reasons. One is to vent about your misery, 2 is to make you forget about her and 3 is to make you feel better. A smile and laughter go a LONG way in your recovery.

Get exposure: The only way to get over a fear is to expose yourself to it. For me there are many I have in relation to women that I have either gotten over or am still working on. But I will not stop until they are all gone. And it is at that point you will no longer fear getting dumped because you know nothing about a women scares you or makes you nervous

Take up hobbies: Martial arts, skateboarding, instrument, games, leagues, sports, etc, etc, etc. You can do anything to occupy your time, meet new people and become more interesting in the process.

Listen to music: I helps get both the negative emotions out and bring the positive ones in

Socialize with everyone you can: You improve so many aspects of your life as a result of this so just do it

I know there are many more things that I have done but that is what comes to mind right now.

 

[n00bPimp]

A girl not wanting to be with me doesn't even affect me anymore.

Don't expect to ever be fulfilled by a girl, or anyone, or anything.

Get rid of the need for fulfillment in your life and you will avoid the feeling of rejection.

Just live each and every moment and you will be happy.

 

[garruk]

i was watching nip/tuck when it was still on tv a few year back and i forget who said it but

"the best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else".

if you're feeling down about aNYTHING girl related, just find antoehr girl and youll be gravy.

 

[SamTheHobit]

A girl not wanting to be with me doesn't even affect me anymore.

Don't expect to ever be fulfilled by a girl, or anyone, or anything.

Get rid of the need for fulfillment in your life and you will avoid the feeling of rejection.

Just live each and every moment and you will be happy.

Good post.

 

[Jariel]

Good input guys.

Another one I've remembered is to picture her at her worst. Focus on all the bad things about the relationship and her traits that p!ssed you off, rather than your good times together.

I also think it helps to talk to people about their break up experiences. It gets you to realise that you're not the only one getting rejected and cures that paranoia of something being wrong with you.

 

[Solomon]

Backstory:
Was with girl for almost 7 years and she dumped me in January of 2011. It hurt me more than when my dad died. I felt like I lost who I was and the rejection seemed to cause a never ending sting. I felt alone, trapped, emasculated and heartbroken.
Go to the gym: I have lost almost 100 pound since then and put on a nice amount of muscle. I feel better, I look better,

a 100 pounds in 8 months?

I call b.s. Unless you weigh 400 Pounds to start with

 

[garruk]

^^ lol yeah 100 pounds is ALOT.

im amazed you had a girlfriend at all carrying an extra 100lbs around. jk lol.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

Low carb diet bro. It works wonders!

 

[Jon55]

Looking for new prospects is an absolute must. I agree that sleeping with other women didn't really help, it was having a number of prospects with high IL that wanted to spend time with me. Mainly due to finding women with qualities that my ex didn't have and realizing there are women just as good or even better out there - it feels very rewarding.

I have found this is key. The dead horse everyone always beats is "be around friends, get involved in a project, blah blah blah blah." Anyone who's been through a breakup knows this is bullsh!t advice, and it's almost insulting to hear. Those things can work, but in the end it's like taking Advil for a kidney stone; it does fvck all in actually helping you.

Get connected with girls. Don't make it a goal to sleep with them, just hang out and have fun with them. Girls who you genuinely think are interesting, funny, cute, sexy, or any and all of the above. If you do end up sleeping with them, that's fine, but don't make your goal. Just the thought of having other girls around that have a high-interest in you will help out immensely. And that other crap advice, "be around friends, get involved in a project, blah blah blah blah" will come naturally. Before you even know it, you'll have forgotten you were being sad about your ex.

Although honestly, expecting to be fulfilled by any girl is something you shouldn't strive for. But for the purpose of getting over someone, it's acceptable for a little while.

LAUGH about it.

LOVE this one. Very good tip

 

[st_99]

IMO, there are only 2 real cures to the rejection blues, another HB and Time. Thats basically it.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure though. You MUST try your absolute HARDEST to not get too into a girl you're dating, let her get into you. Be on the right side of that equation.

 

[pdx1138]

for me the last thing I wanted after my last breakup was to get involved with another woman even if it was just playing around.

no, I figured what was best at that point was pursuit of an old hobby I had left for quite awhile.

I got heavily into a cg animation project that took months to finish working on it almost every day for hours.....I was so focused on it I didn't think of her at all which was great because 6 months later I got a drunken voicemail from her that I should "come over and hang out because her life was so boring without me and she knew I hated her guts and blah blah blah"

that was awesome to hear! And I got that voicemail when I was out with my first new date of the year

I start talking to lots of new women again at that point.

 

[DJnoob]

We've all been there. Either we've been rejected by someone we were really into or dumped by a girlfriend.. It hurts real bad. It can even last for weeks or months and spiral into depression.

I was dumped just a few days ago and it's hit me a bit harder than I expected it would, but it has got me thinking of the ways I usually cope with these things and move forward. So I thought I'd share some of my methods and open it up for everyone to share their ideas.

Now I'm not talking about ways to win her back, but rather ways to get over them and get on with your life. Afterall, the best way to win her back is actually to move on anyway.

Here's my suggestions...

Hitting the weights - This always makes me feel better as it gets the emotion out of my system and gives me a feeling of control.

Listening to aggressive music - I like the adrenaline rush it gives me and feel it's much better to get in touch with my anger than to mope and feel upset.

Taking on a project - DIY, a new website, building a computer, fixing a car, anything that is going to require attention and has an end goal. It's a great distraction.

Seeking new prospects - Some guys say the best way to get over an ex is to sleep with 10 other women. Apart from being unrealistic, I've never found rebound sex to be much comfort. However, talking to other women and having the prospects there for when you're ready to move on is very helpful.

Getting closure/acceptance - Holding out hope of getting back together with an ex, trying to "fix" things or waiting for her to change her mind is like an open wound that will never heal. You need to accept that it's over, cut ties and move forward.

Hanging out with friends - Another great distraction and it's good to have company when you're feeling rejected or lonely.

Well, those are some of my best suggestions. Any more would be welcome.

Move onto the next one. Its really a numbers game. Its a universal law

One in every 15 women you ask out will get you laid or so.. 1:15

We each have a ratio above our heads we can't see but, just ask another 14 and one will convert into a lay.