your life is in your hands

[backbreaker]

Dating is the ultimate game. It is so because your emotional and sexual well-being are tied directly into the outcome

look at the state of most men. Hell, look at the state of most PEOPLE. Everything in their lives revolves around attracting, securing and satisfying a mate

20 year old women go to clubs to get the attention rush they crave. 25 year old women start to hang out at lounges and bookstores to find a more well rounded man. women pressure a guy to marry them before her tits start to sag

20 year old men jack off to pictures of porn stars. they go to college frat party's to meet women, that they don't have enough balls to approach then go back home and jack off to the thought of approaching them and it being successful. 25 year old men hit clubs to find attractive women. By 30, they pretty much just tie t he closet thing they can find down before it's "too late" and fit in with the rest of the crowd.


What I want to ask you is..... is that a life worth living? when you are 60,70 years old.. you have no one to answer to but yourself. Not me, not even your spouse if you have one.


Now.. there is nothing wrong with having a spouse. what's wrong is depriving yourself of a fulfilling live in the pursuit of one. Even worse, what's worse is having one that does not let you be the person you want to be.

why put so much engery in time into women?

Someone here gave me a quote that changed my sexual life about 4 years ago.. why spend all your time with her to get one woman, when you can spend all that time on yourself and get ALL the women?


Guys.. listen to me. YOU HAVE TO, FOR YOUR LIFE, YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR PRIORITIES IN ORDER. IF NOT YOU ARE LIVING UMONG THE WALKING DEAD. YOU HAVE TO FIND MORE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN WOMEN.


And I'm not talking about "oh I like practing the gutair.. yeah that's more important than women"... unless it's your career.. no it's not. don't fool yourself. And yes while it's a fun hobby that can take some time away from the thought of women.... you get where i'm going.

YOUR LIVE HAS TO BE WORTHWHILE. Whatever makes your life worthwhile, worth living, this is your priority. What legacy do you want to leave behind? What are you striving to achieve on a daily basis?

Women who meet me say one of two things about me. 1) I'm arrogant or 2) I'm extremely "stubborn" or "set in my ways" and no "real woman" will ever like me because of it.... and about a week later I usually end up tapping them for those reasons. Because I am stubborn and I am sure of myself.

my stubbornness come sin the sense that you are not more important that my life. you can come along for the ride, sure, hop on, but my life doesn't and won't revolve around you. If you can't accept that, bye

And you know what.. I really, seriously don't care if women want to be in my life. I can honestly say I don't need a woman to be happy. You could chop my **** off (I mean.. I'm not volunteering or anything) tomorrow and my outlook on life wouldn't change all that much.. I'd still be having the time of my life. I don't go to clubs, I don't go out hunting for ass, it follows me. And even when I see it, I don't go out of my way to get it.. it has to want to be apart of my life in one way or another.

I've said it once, I'll say it again. the best thing that EVER happened to me was going 3 years without dating/sex. I found out alot about myself.. I got a clearer outlook on women and life in general. To the point where I prefer the perks of being single over a relationships in all honesty. Now, I have the balance that if I want to go to a movie, I don't have to worry about going along (if I don't want to, if it's a good movie, she can sit her ass at home, I hate talkers) but if I want to sit at home and read a book or hit the sack early or just go down to the beach and take a nap.. I can do it without hearing anything.


So grab your sack. and ask yourself... what the FVCK am I doing? where are you going to be in 10 years? Do you need a woman to seek approval from the masses that you are an "ok" person?

 

[Rata Blanca]

This is a good post. But I'd say life is the ultimate game, dating is just one of the "mini-games"

 

[backbreaker]

there is nothing gamish about life.. life is as serious as a heart attack... but dating? Dating is never to be taken seirously

 

[Someone Much cooler]

back breaker I agree with you on some issues. good post

 

[reset]

What you say backbreaker is true but the problem is it goes against what most of us believe is the way the world works, and that is you have to TRY to get women. They are the ones that hold the power and it is our job to attempt to convince them to want us. When it seems to be the case that when our main priority is pleasing ourselves, living by our own rules (which includes not having to follow any DJ "rules" of how to game women) and most importantly focus our attention on our passions and what gets us going in life, the women, and all the other good things in life, tend to come looking for us instead.

It's like our lives are headed in such a cool direction that other people can't wait to join the ride with us, and we don't have to "do" much of anything.

I know this to be true, but often I get lost in that cycle of trying to win something, when I know, deep down, I already have what I need. I don't need anything outside of myself (including women) to be happy.

Why is it that the most simplest things are often NOT the easiest?

 

[backbreaker]

because it's NOT simple
.
I never said it would be easy.. but nothing in life that's easy is worth having.

The ability to live your life womanless is not an easy task. Not at all.. and mind you, now that I don't really care if I have women in my life.. i have them beating down my damn door. Read my post last week... A girl I cut loose damn near put me in the hospital by throwing a glass vase at my head. A old oneitis I ran into in a airport in Houston is calling me as we speak to try to come "visit" me half way across the country.

None of this matters. When I talk to people, I have this engery that you can't fake... I've had women fvck me.. seriously.. because of how passionate I am about my life. life is to short to sit around here and jacking off to porn and moning about a damn stink hole. It's *****!!! PVSSY PVSSY PVSSY.. THERE I SAID IT.

it's everwhere.. yet no where. the more you grasp at it, the more you can't get to it.

I can count on my hand how many true DJ's there are on this site. How many people get the entire concept.. it's not about women. It's about life.

you wanna know what gets a woman WETTTER than you could possibly imagine?

A man who has his **** together. By **** I mean life. His priorities. Has Drive. Has passion. those are words even spark emotion in ME when I say them.

 

[wayword]

I've said it once, I'll say it again. the best thing that EVER happened to me was going 3 years without dating/sex. I found out alot about myself.. I got a clearer outlook on women and life in general. To the point where I prefer the perks of being single over a relationships in all honesty.

I have a theory that you have to be able to give it all up in order to get it all back (and more).

Because most TRULY great men (and women) had to give it all away to pursue their passion and often get their backs pushed up against the wall on the brink of destitute poverty...before finally realizing their dream and enjoying untold success from it.

Here's a short list of such inspiring stories:
Rhonda Byrne - her company nearly went broke before making "The Secret"
Bruce Lee - worked some low-wage jobs and had to face Hollywood stonewalling before going back to China to make it big
Chris Gardner - was homeless sleeping in public bathrooms before becoming a multi-millionaire stockbroker
Kadour Ziani - read his article in SLAM - a very philosophical dunker with a 56" vert who has no money and stretches 4 hours a day - all just for the love of dunking
Etc.

Point is, these are all mega-successful people...but who all went through a very lean period where chasing their dream was really hurting their livelihood...but once they got through that tough period it MORE than paid off!

WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF YOUR LIFE? WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU REALLY LIVING FOR? WHAT IS WORTH GIVING UP YOUR LIFE FOR...TO GET YOUR LIFE? WHAT IS YOUR CORE TRUTH THAT YOU BRING TO THIS WORLD?

 

[reset]

No, I know it's not easy. It's actually really difficult, for most guys... because the answer to 99% of the questions on this site about women, is don't worry about women, just concentrate on yourself and the women will come.

It's true, we all know it (at least deep down we know it). It's just taking that leap of faith in yourself I suppose.

wayword mentioned Rhonda Byrne, and I'm glad he did because we're talking about a certain mindset here-- abundance thinking, as opposed to scarcity thinking.

Abundance means the world is yours and you know it. There's more than enough to go around, whether it's money, things to be passionate about, real friendships, that good feeling that comes from living your own adventure... and of course women.

Then there is scarcity thinking, which is how most humans, including most guys on this site (and I'm not excluding myself from this, but at least I'm aware of it) view the world... that resources are limited, there are only so many great experiences or women to go around, when that is just not the case.

But we come from a puritanical, bust your ass-informed society, and underlying all that is the sense that life is hard, good things are very difficult to come by... and once you get your goods, you need to cling to them for dear life because someone else could take it away from you.

I don't believe that's how the universe operates. Like you said backbreaker the more you try to hold onto it the more it eludes you, it's the tao, the secret, whatever you want to call it... we are much more powerful than we are willing to admit. And the more we try to understand it the more confusing it becomes.

So no, it's not EASY, but it is "simple". And if people grasped their real power, knowing they ALREADY have the resources they need inside of them... sites like this would probably be unecessary.

Anyway, kudos. Sometimes I need to see the same truth over and over... but eventually it will sink in.

It's not about the women, it's about me.

 

[backbreaker]

there is a ring of truth to it.

when I had my computer company, at first I was literarly living out of my car at wal mart.

you have to WANT TO LIVE!!! I can't make you life. No one here can make you live. You have to want to be different then the walking dead.

uhhhhhh...go out to clubs...uhhhhhhhhhh... date.....uhhhhhhh..get married....uhhhhhhhhhhh..dead end job...uhhhhhhh

someone needs to light a fire uner your ass. But that someone has to be you.

 

[~attrACTION~]

Dating is the ultimate game. It is so because your emotional and sexual well-being are tied directly into the outcome

look at the state of most men. Hell, look at the state of most PEOPLE. Everything in their lives revolves around attracting, securing and satisfying a mate

20 year old women go to clubs to get the attention rush they crave. 25 year old women start to hang out at lounges and bookstores to find a more well rounded man. women pressure a guy to marry them before her tits start to sag

20 year old men jack off to pictures of porn stars. they go to college frat party's to meet women, that they don't have enough balls to approach then go back home and jack off to the thought of approaching them and it being successful. 25 year old men hit clubs to find attractive women. By 30, they pretty much just tie t he closet thing they can find down before it's "too late" and fit in with the rest of the crowd.


What I want to ask you is..... is that a life worth living? when you are 60,70 years old.. you have no one to answer to but yourself. Not me, not even your spouse if you have one.


Now.. there is nothing wrong with having a spouse. what's wrong is depriving yourself of a fulfilling live in the pursuit of one. Even worse, what's worse is having one that does not let you be the person you want to be.

why put so much engery in time into women?

Someone here gave me a quote that changed my sexual life about 4 years ago.. why spend all your time with her to get one woman, when you can spend all that time on yourself and get ALL the women?


Guys.. listen to me. YOU HAVE TO, FOR YOUR LIFE, YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR PRIORITIES IN ORDER. IF NOT YOU ARE LIVING UMONG THE WALKING DEAD. YOU HAVE TO FIND MORE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN WOMEN.


And I'm not talking about "oh I like practing the gutair.. yeah that's more important than women"... unless it's your career.. no it's not. don't fool yourself. And yes while it's a fun hobby that can take some time away from the thought of women.... you get where i'm going.

YOUR LIVE HAS TO BE WORTHWHILE. Whatever makes your life worthwhile, worth living, this is your priority. What legacy do you want to leave behind? What are you striving to achieve on a daily basis?

Women who meet me say one of two things about me. 1) I'm arrogant or 2) I'm extremely "stubborn" or "set in my ways" and no "real woman" will ever like me because of it.... and about a week later I usually end up tapping them for those reasons. Because I am stubborn and I am sure of myself.

my stubbornness come sin the sense that you are not more important that my life. you can come along for the ride, sure, hop on, but my life doesn't and won't revolve around you. If you can't accept that, bye

And you know what.. I really, seriously don't care if women want to be in my life. I can honestly say I don't need a woman to be happy. You could chop my **** off (I mean.. I'm not volunteering or anything) tomorrow and my outlook on life wouldn't change all that much.. I'd still be having the time of my life. I don't go to clubs, I don't go out hunting for ass, it follows me. And even when I see it, I don't go out of my way to get it.. it has to want to be apart of my life in one way or another.

I've said it once, I'll say it again. the best thing that EVER happened to me was going 3 years without dating/sex. I found out alot about myself.. I got a clearer outlook on women and life in general. To the point where I prefer the perks of being single over a relationships in all honesty. Now, I have the balance that if I want to go to a movie, I don't have to worry about going along (if I don't want to, if it's a good movie, she can sit her ass at home, I hate talkers) but if I want to sit at home and read a book or hit the sack early or just go down to the beach and take a nap.. I can do it without hearing anything.


So grab your sack. and ask yourself... what the FVCK am I doing? where are you going to be in 10 years? Do you need a woman to seek approval from the masses that you are an "ok" person?

Damn, that was one hell of a post. Yes, I re-quoted all of it because I think people should read it twice.

I get what you're saying, and I think this is a great tip, thanks for writing it. You really talk like you have that passion in you.

 

[Holland]

I like the post. You mentioned that you should have things that are more important then women. I agree, your long term goals and especially your dreams are much more important than any woman, even though you love her.

Pook said it perfectly: "Don't make the woman your dream. Allow women into your dream (life) instead."

But I don't really see how the following things are very important

To the point where I prefer the perks of being single over a relationships in all honesty. Now, I have the balance that if I want to go to a movie, I don't have to worry about going along (if I don't want to, if it's a good movie, she can sit her ass at home, I hate talkers) but if I want to sit at home and read a book or hit the sack early or just go down to the beach and take a nap.. I can do it without hearing anything.

I think you shouldn't cheat yourself out of the opportunity to have a wonderful woman in your life. A relationship should never be compromising, so I don't really see why you wouldn't be able to do the things you mentioned when you're in a commited relationship.
It all comes down how mature your woman is and how you set up the relationship.
Add to that the fact that sex in succesful LTR is much more fulfilling than occasional hook-ups and I have to respectfully disagree with you that being single is more enjoyable than a LTR (with a wonderful woman off course).

@wayword:

Here's a story illustrating a guy who truly lived that sentence he made in his last movie: "It ain't about how hard ye hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywuse55qU2A

 

[wayword]

Dayam! those are some SICK ASS DUNKS! Holy shyt! On dunking ability alone, he is fuking SICK! Reminds me of Vince in his prime.....on dunking ability...of course. He got MAD hops!

Actually, his vert puts ANY dunker in the NBA TO SHAME. Very, very few of those guys can jump over 40"...and there might only be a tiny handful there who ever topped 50". You have to remember that the bigger you are, the harder it is for you to jump higher due to your greater weight. And the NBA is full of really tall guys.

It would be cool to see Ziani in an NBA game...but vert is just one part of your skillset there. There's plenty of great jumpers who aren't great players and vice-versa.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Here's a story illustrating a guy who truly lived that sentence he made in his last movie: "It ain't about how hard ye hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywuse55qU2A

This is truly an incredible story (thanks Holland for sharing this), and shows the power that we all have inside of us if we know deep down what our path in life should be. Very inspirational. When someone finds a passion, what their direction in life is, they can be unstoppable. For most people, they don't know what that is, they go through life following the path that society forcefeeds us, go to college, get a good job, get married, etc. You don't have to do any soul searching to live this way, you don't need to think independantly, you can follow and believe that you are happy, and this is what keeps society together....but for the few that DO decide to look deep inside, and find their passion, they realize they have the power of their lives. It's all about how badly you want something, and what you have to give up to achieve it.

When I read posts like this (Backbreaker's) I nod in agreement completely and it makes me think there may be a shift in mindset overall in our society. Or is it just me?

It seems now, sex is the easiest it's ever been to get. So, what happens, is when a guy gets enough sex with different women, for some is maybe 5 women, another it maybe 20, they realize that sex is nice, but not the most important thing. The power that women used to use to cage a man is given away soo easily today. Women today have made this easy for us in this day and age, by coming and going through our lives swinging from branch to branch.

So, breaking out of the mold that society pushes on us and diggin' deep to find what drives us in life may start to be more common. Maybe that's maturity to some exent. Maybe more men will realize this as they go through their "swinging bachelor" days. We all have it inside of us I believe. Backbreaker's post, and many others on this site, seem to prove this.

 

[Holland]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnMQPHuhOR8&NR=1

More GOOD stuff from Mr. Stallone. Listen to the part after the short scene.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Great stuff Holland!!

I remember one time that I had to box (I only boxed once). I remember putting on those gloves, looking at my opponent, and I was nervous. My "coach" was telling me "I want you to get in there and throw a left jab, and follow it with a hard right!" I didn't think I was really listening, I was so nervous. Well, I got in the ring and started getting my a$$ kicked. All I saw was red from the gloves of the guy pounding me in the face. It was pretty bad, at one point I didn't even have my gloves up, I was just taking one punch after another right in the face, and that's when it happened..

Something kicked in. There was some toughness deep down, ie "inner animal" inside, that just took over me. I threw one left and followed with a hard right. I hit this guy so hard that his feet left the floor and he landed right on his back. I knocked this guy down 3 more times in the 2 minute round. Anyone that's fought knows that a 2 minute round can seem like an eternity.

I'm actually looking at taking up boxing because of that day. Not because I think I'd make a good boxer, but to learn more about myself. To see how many more punches I can take.

And that's life. Life will punch you in the face until you can't take it anymore. When your back is against the wall, your "inner animal" comes out and you find out what your made of. Sometimes it's the lack of choices that makes you realize your potential.

I get fired up about this stuff, so thanks again Holland..