Your interest in her, in the early stages

[crowes22]

Guys I see posts here regarding a girl that knows you are interested in her and how she is acting now. Most guys here know exactly what is happening here, but I have experienced this alot, from being an AFC. So even if most know I want to say it anyway b/c when she is looking so hot all our rational thinking can fly out the window.

I don't care how interested the girl is in you, or how cool she is, or how honest and sweet she seems. If she picks up that you have high interest, even moderately high, well hold on cause she will take you for a ride.

Easily understood when a girl isn't really interested and is stringing him along for the ego stroke. But even if she has high interest, you better feign disinterest in her. (ie: challenge) Yea I know it's preached over and over but her high interest in you will not stop her from leading you on and trying to manipulate you. I don't care if she is in love w/ you!!

They are constantly seeking control over thier interactions with you. That is their ultimate goal! And when they have it, you have become a chump. And a chump gets dumped and disrespected and led on.

The only way to salvage your manhood once they know you have high interest is to vanish! Put her out of your life totally! Do not contact her. Do not agree to do ANYTHING w/ her. Do not question her on her behavior thinking you are calling her BS. You are not! You are bargaining w/ her for some control, which she won't give, she'll play ignorant and think you'll beleive what she is saying. You have to TAKE back contol. The only way you can is to walk away and sever ALL ties w/ her. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY! So don't fukkin cave and get in touch w/ her or go do things w/ her.

Only be w/ her after you feel she has come back to you and isn't trying to manipulate you in any way. If she wants to do things she suggests and it's not a "sexual or romantic outing" for the two of you, she still has the control. So if she does call and wants to go to Bath and Body works and wants you to tag along, don't do it. Really I think it would be best to turn her down on her initial offer of getting together.

Of course we all know she should not know you have high interest, but sometimes it's easy to slip up in some way and damn they are experts at picking up on it. Why? Because that is their ultimate goal. So only when she comes back w/ true high interest and true romantic intentions should you let the guard down. Judging that will have to be done on your own since all situations are different.

So be clear headed and don't let her high interest in you cause you to lose your game and feel you are in w/ her. You better keep her on her toes so that she is wondering about how you perceive her. Of course this post is regarding the intial stages of DJing a girl, not exactly regarding when you are in an exclusive relationship w/ her.

 

[KCFlyer]

Good post Crowes. I think I recently got suckered like that. Things were going well, and then I get treated like crap, so I'm backing off for a while. I realize now that I let her take control, instead of me. I totally agree that trying to talk to her would be more than futile. Been there, done that... Going to the dentist for a root canal is better than that.
How can you tell if she is taking you for a ride, or has a lack of interest in you (or is it the same thing)?

 

[BasicInstinct]

Like crowes22 said, a girl can have high interest in you but will still take you for a ride if you let her. For example, if Kristin Kreuk (or whatever hot babe you drool over) came into your room and told you to fvck her right there, would you hesitate? Of course not. Even if you wanted to have a LTR with her, you would still take advantage of the situation. That's how it is for girls- if they sense you are weak, they will try to manipulate you for all they can.

------------------
Always outnumbered, never outgunned.

 

[Galactus]

Originally posted by crowes22:
Do not question her on her behavior thinking you are calling her BS. You are not! You are bargaining w/ her for some control, which she won't give, she'll play ignorant and think you'll beleive what she is saying.

This is a VERY good point. I used to do this to chicks. I didn't want to appear like a wuss, so I would try to act tough about it, but it doesn't work. The only thing that works is low interest. Let her be the one getting stressed out over your actions, not the other way around.

Who the hell is Kristin Kreuk? Must be a hottie. How strange that I haven't dated her yet.

------------------
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that, apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second best policy. Second is not all that bad."
-George Carlin

 

[BasicInstinct]

Kristin Kreuk is the girl who plays Lana Lang on "Smallville". She is freakin' hot! I watch the show just for her!

Check out her out here:
http://www.smallvillenews.com/imagepages/kk.html

------------------
Always outnumbered, never outgunned.

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by KCFlyer:
Good post Crowes. I think I recently got suckered like that. Things were going well, and then I get treated like crap, so I'm backing off for a while. I realize now that I let her take control, instead of me. I totally agree that trying to talk to her would be more than futile. Been there, done that... Going to the dentist for a root canal is better than that.
How can you tell if she is taking you for a ride, or has a lack of interest in you (or is it the same thing)?

Bro, I wish I could tell ya, but all situations are unique you know. But your question is the point of my post. If she starts acting sketchy, the best option you have is to vanish! I'm serious, that will do wonders I tell you.

If she has interest, she will contact or find someway to be around you. So if you vanish and she hunts you down, assume she wants you, therefore move in fo the kill quick! If there is any apprehension from her, walk away. If she lets you, she wasn't really interested. If she still pursues you, I have to say from my experience, she is very into you. So go for the kiss ASAP. Anything but reciprociyt, and she is history.

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by galactus:
This is a VERY good point. I used to do this to chicks. I didn't want to appear like a wuss, so I would try to act tough about it, but it doesn't work. The only thing that works is low interest. Let her be the one getting stressed out over your actions, not the other way around.

Who the hell is Kristin Kreuk? Must be a hottie. How strange that I haven't dated her yet.

Thanks Galactus, I know we are of like minds so I'm not gonna spew my perspectives now, b/c it seems we've walked a similar trail, so no need to, I think you know em, like many other DJ's here. Thanks again. Later man.

 

[KCFlyer]

Thanks for the advice, crowes. Let me ask another question: In terms of relationships guys almost always like to move faster than girls do. Girls that like to move slowly will take guys for rides, simply because they aren’t comfortable with the guys high interest level (yet). In that way they aren’t malicious, they just aren’t comfortable with you yet? How can you tell if you are being taken for a ride, or if you are trying to do too much, too fast? Should you handle these situations differently?

 

[PoachR75]

Crowes22:

Once again, you put a salient point in plain words. I believe wholeheartedly in the points that you so creditably reiterate.

I think a maxim could be summed up as follows:

"No matter what the interest level of either party, it is NEVER a bad move to make yourself MORE SCARCE than your target."

This axiom is qualified by the condition that EVENTUALLY, the guy will have to make the move to get digits and date, but this may realistically be in a matter of weeks to even MONTHS.

------------------
"We've got a blind date with destiny, and it looks like she's ordered the lobster. There's no point in waiting for the cavalry, because, as of this moment, the cavalry is US."
-- The Shoveler, "Mystery Men"

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by KCFlyer:
Thanks for the advice, crowes. Let me ask another question: In terms of relationships guys almost always like to move faster than girls do. Girls that like to move slowly will take guys for rides, simply because they aren’t comfortable with the guys high interest level (yet). In that way they aren’t malicious, they just aren’t comfortable with you yet? How can you tell if you are being taken for a ride, or if you are trying to do too much, too fast? Should you handle these situations differently?

KC, I can only answer from my experiences. As far as them being comfortable, if you have played it right, she will be at least a little, don't give her a reason not to trust you. Yea most guys do go too fast. So don't be most guys. Don't come on strong, so kinda feign disinterest. A chump never walks away from her, he takes EVERY chance he can to talk w/ her and give her attention.

As far as how to tell if she is taking you for a ride, all you have to do is be a challenge, not a chump. She chases you, not the other way around. When you go for the kiss and she is cool w/ that, then you know. I'd say if she returns your kino and/or is chasing you, it's real, she wants you. If she knows you don't need her, for some reason that makes her a little insecure I think, so she will want you b/c you are the only one that can fix her insecurity, b/c you are the source of it. Chumps make the girl the source of their insecurity. They never leave her first, always give attention, NEVER feign disinterest.

I wouldn't worry too much about telling whether she is taking you for a ride. Be a challenge, know you don't need her, don't make her the center of your life, and you will be in control. And when you are in control and keep a clear head, she can't take you for a ride, she doesn't have the power to, b/c you have that power, she is in the submissive role, not you. 99% of the guys today let the woman be in control, and they play the submissive role, that is exactly what not to do.