Your father, and the advice he gave you

[ethnomethodologist]

I voted my father as being a DJ. He falls into the uncaring, never home, had mad women but never taught me anything about them, still married but in a different relationship type of guy.

He fell partially into the category that everybody labelled as AFC.

The sad thing is, he is a great man, I would love to know what he knows. Nevermind that I am too lazy to actually pursue his knowledge, and avoid his footsteps.

I'm sure a lot of aspiring DJ's on this site could be a lot better if their family life was in top shape. Wavejams soundingly epitomizes that statement.

 

[djbr]

My father was a CRAZY, CRAZY guy. Really, he did some of the most awesome things I've ever heard. But when he decided to get with my mother he lost it all, his option. She picked up on this and proceeded to neutralize him even more. Later she complained that she wasn't the guy that she fell in love with. Duh, classic.

Well, the advice he gave me was almost nothing. Sometimes he will come to me and say: go and **** all the girls! (haha). But other times he would say: respect women and yadda yadda. Weird. -- I think the second advice was when he wanted some sex from my mother or something.

My father was a distant person. Not his fault, he was not very good with words. My mother has a lot more education than he had, and he felt a lot intimidated by this. So he decided to let her do all the education, bad move on his part.

Too bad for me. My brother, who is younger than me, doesn't have 1/3 of the issues with women I do. -- He is really a natural DJ -- But my father talked to him a lot more than he talked to me, they both just got along well. I, on the other part, was entirely socialized by my mom, and that made a real mess. Being the oldest man after him, when he died, I took charge of everything, and as he left a hard financial situation for me to solve. I still have issues about women mainly because I can't focus in nothing other than solving this.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

I never really got any real advice from my parents, aside from the occassional "just be yourself" and " just talk to girls, the worst they can say is no" cliched crap. My dad has been a big-time AFC in a lot of ways. At least in the family (in business/career he's quite the opposite) he's supplicative to everybody, never takes charge on anything, lets everybody else walk all over him on financial decisions, gets pretty emotional when things get tough, etc. He also wasn't around very much during my mid childhood years, so I was "raised" by my mom a lot more than my dad. He didn't do many 'guyish' things with me, either. Never took me to sports games, never really taught me anything about car maintenance even though he knows a decent amount about it, etc. Seriously, on an emotional and behavioral level, he was almost like a second mom. I didn't really have a "male role model" growing up, and I think it shows.

 

[undesputable]

From this thread it doesnt sound like having a dad is as great as i thought it would be like. I bearly know my real dad, then my first father figure that i had was my grandfather who he passed away a couple of years ago, and my uncle who i was also really close to until he had his own children. My mom was then dating this guy that didnt seem to interested in getting close with me.

Then this other guy that my mom lived with for like 2 years was a real bad mother****er, he taught me a couple of things like how to fight and stuff like that. Also when he was with my mom i caught him literally having sex with some *****. my own 18 year old sister also seemed like she was into him and they messed around...again i caught them but they were just making out (still pretty shocking). Somehow he convinced me to not tell my mom in both ocassions so i guess he did teach me to lie and that messing with multiple girls at a time is OK.

my mom finally married this guy who i believe will be the final one, but unfortunatly is no DJ by any means. At first he seemed really funny and all but he has turned more and more into an AFC. At first he wasnt interested in getting to know me or anything so i was the same way. He seemed like he has gotten better and is trying to get closer to me, but i really dont feel the connection at all and in 7 years i have never learned much from him.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

"he doesn't try to teach me anything"

He's your father figure. Why not try to learn something, "You can't teach somebody something, if they don't want to learn"

 

[So Many Ways]

If I could be half the man my father is, I would consider myself a success.