Your Crazy Stories?

[BooBoosHelix]

I wonder what crazy stories you have went trough in your live with the opposite sex.

Unfortunately i don’t have many in 30 years but two that stuck with me.

1) 15 years ago. Booked a cabin in the woods with 6 other guys. Basically a get away, play cards, barbeque, talk ****. There was another cabin
Next to us with a newly wed couple. The hang
out with us, went on walks and spent some time. Everything was low key chill until the husband was flown out by a helicoptor to do a last minute emergency operation (He was a hearth chirurg or something). Same day in the evening we got drunk and went into the whirlpool naked. The women too. A gangbang
started lasting the whole night. I was actually the only guy not ****ing that night. We didnt have condoms and i just don’t like puting my **** into all that cream :/. Next day we had to leave and the women stayed back waiting for her husband. She begged us not to tell anyone. I found them years later on social media and apparently they were still together.

2) i had a female roommate who was fixiated on giving head. She had a live goal of giving every of her professors head. Wonder how many she got lol. She also gave me *******s while in a relationship because „giving head is not cheating“. She wouldnt let me **** her or go down on her or anything in return. I was actually the one to end it because i felt sorry for her boyfriend. She once woke me up at 4am to give head. She was drunk and wanted to give *******s. I suspect she would actually give a ******* to anyone with a pulse. I seriously told her at some point to get help. Iam still in contact with her and apparently shes in a Marriage with a guy who loves getting **** sucked multiple times a day. According to her.

unfortunately i have no other crazy stories. Boring live i guess lol. What about you?

Edit:
1 was really hot
2 not so much

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I wonder what crazy stories you have went trough in your live with the opposite sex.

Unfortunately i don’t have many in 30 years but two that stuck with me.

1) 15 years ago. Booked a cabin in the woods with 6 other guys. Basically a get away, play cards, barbeque, talk ****. There was another cabin
Next to us with a newly wed couple. The hang
out with us, went on walks and spent some time. Everything was low key chill until the husband was flown out by a helicoptor to do a last minute emergency operation (He was a hearth chirurg or something). Same day in the evening we got drunk and went into the whirlpool naked. The women too. A gangbang
started lasting the whole night. I was actually the only guy not ****ing that night. We didnt have condoms and i just don’t like puting my **** into all that cream :/. Next day we had to leave and the women stayed back waiting for her husband. She begged us not to tell anyone. I found them years later on social media and apparently they were still together.

2) i had a female roommate who was fixiated on giving head. She had a live goal of giving every of her professors head. Wonder how many she got lol. She also gave me *******s while in a relationship because „giving head is not cheating“. I was actually the one to end it because i felt sorry for her boyfriend. She once woke me up at 4am to give head. She was drunk and wanted to give *******s. I suspect she would actually give a ******* to anyone with a pulse. I seriously told her at some point to get help. Iam still in contact with her and apparently shes in a Marriage with a guy who loves getting **** sucked multiple times a day. According to her.

unfortunately i have no other crazy stories. Boring live i guess lol. What about you?

Edit:
1 was really hot
2 not so much

Entertaining story lol. The chick from the first one is a skeezer WH0RE .

I got one for you..

About 17 years ago..

I can't remember what dating site I met her from, but I saw an attractive woman on a dating site, sent her a message and she gave me her number.

Let's call her Vicky.

Now, Vicky's profile picture was from the waist up and she was sitting.

Anyways after talking to her a couple times over the phone, she asked me would I date someone with a disability. I told her sure and didn't think much of it after that.

Anyways, we set up a time/day for her to come to my apartment.

At the appointed time, I hear a knock at the door.

I answered the door, and I see 3 women.

One of the women had an obvious disability.

That woman was Vicky.

She couldn't walk, and was paralyzed from the waist down.

I can't remember if she had a wheelchair, but her legs were impaired to whereas they were "stuck" in the Indian-style position.

I was completely caught by surprise and obvious off guard..as she had failed to tell me that she had a disability during our phone convos.

However, I did my BEST to keep my surprise hidden and invited them in.

They came in and when they came in, I observed how Vicky used her arms for mobility..not crawling, but more like flopping.

She used her arms to push her body forward..and she was swift, too.

The other two women introduced themselves as Vicky's cousins.

They just wanted to come over and meet me and check the temperature, to see if everything was on the up & up.

Looking back on it, it seemed as if they were trying to put Vicky in a situation where she can "get some".

But anyway, they eventually left.
....

So, me and Vicky went to the bedroom (the living room had ZERO furniture lol).

We talked on the bed for a while.

From a physical standpoint (disability aside) Vicky was damn near flat chested (and titties is my thang).

The plan was for her to spend the night..and the night was still young.

After a while, things began to settle..and I still needed to get this nut out..soooo lol.
...

I began to make moves on her, kissing her and sucking on her flat chested nipples.

I can tell immediately that she had very little experience with intimacy.

As welcoming as her advances was, she shivered at every touch and every move I put on her.

It was obvious that she was sensitive, EVERYWHERE.
.....

Ok, so now, my d!ck is rock hard...and I'm getting ready to smash this brawd!!!
....

So, I am laying on my side, and I grab her to lift her up to put her on top of me...so that her Indian-style legs are laying on my stomach and her puzzy had direct access to my d!ck.

(Not a bad position, actually).
...

As I said before, she is sensitive and she is anticipating the insertion..she is overcome with excitement and moaning like crazy.

I am attempting to position her body to line up with my d!ck, all while she is shaking and quivering.

As I am doing so, I just feel (and hear) a large amount of liquid on my waist.
.....

Basically, she began to inadvertently piss on herself (more like on ME) and my bed.

I was like, what the fukkkk???

If it was ¢um, I wouldn't have minded. But it was piss, and smelled like PISS!!!
....

And what to add to the chaos was, she was completely unapologetic about it.

I had to change the pissy sheets and clean the large piss stain on the mattress.
.....

It was a long, quiet, and disappointing night after that.

We hardly spoke after that, and I couldn't wait until her folks picked her up the next morning.
....

If any of you can top that, I will wait lol.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Here’s one.
Company party at hotel. Wound up chatting with two young, blonde employees at the bar. After a bit. One said: ‘She wants to take me back to the room & have sexy with me. Do you want to watch?’

One more:
Was driving a client. At one point she said. ‘I had a boyfriend with the same name as you. You can have sex with me if you want.’.

 

[Desdinova]

1) I was living with this 5hitty roommate at the time. One night, I got drunk at the bar and dragged half of it back home with me. My roommate was absolutely appauled at how many people I brought home. There was one chick who was interested in me, and one chick who I think was just drunk. They were both friends. They ended up nearly getting into a scrap fighting over who was going to sleep with me. The drunk chick won out and and I slept with her that night while everyone else went home. When the morning hit, she was pretty much over it and went home. The next night, I ended up sleeping with the chick who was interested in me.

2) I probably wrote about this one on here at some point, but I'm too lazy to find the post. Anyway, I used to see this hot chick at the bar with her man all the time. I thought they were nice people, so I'd say hi and chit chat with them once in a while. On one strange weekend, she showed up without him. I asked, "Where's Will?" She told me he ended up in jail. I didn't give a fvck what he was in there for and presume it was my turn to fvck her. I got her number and we made a date for the next weekend. The weekend comes along and we got drunk partying at the bar near my house. We walk back to my place. She sits on the couch and I give her one kiss on the cheek. She starts ripping her clothes off, so I dragged her in the bedroom so we could fvck.

In the middle of it all, she suddenly yells, "Call 911! I'm having an irregular heartbeat!" and runs out of the bedroom. I found her in the kitchen on the phone with 911. I calmed her down and we went to bed to sleep. I fvcked her in the morning. After that, she started getting all needy and 5hit, so I started backing off from her. One day she texts me and tells me she's moving two provinces away. I didn't care why, so I just wished her well. She told me she was going to jail there. I'm like WTF, so I googled her name and found her 'most wanted' poster.

I know I have more, and I could probably sit here writing them all fvcking day. Those are the two off the top of my head.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I wonder what crazy stories you have went trough in your live with the opposite sex.


2) i had a female roommate who was fixiated on giving head. She had a live goal of giving every of her professors head. Wonder how many she got lol. She also gave me *******s while in a relationship because „giving head is not cheating“. She wouldnt let me **** her or go down on her or anything in return. I was actually the one to end it because i felt sorry for her boyfriend. She once woke me up at 4am to give head. She was drunk and wanted to give *******s. I suspect she would actually give a ******* to anyone with a pulse. I seriously told her at some point to get help. Iam still in contact with her and apparently shes in a Marriage with a guy who loves getting **** sucked multiple times a day. According to her.

Most women I've been with were/are fixated on intercourse. But. there have been a handful who were obsessed with BJs. The most extreme was a coworker who gave me head once a week in her car in parking lot at work. She didn't want anything else. Her only stipulation was that I drink pineapple juice.

 

[Divorced w 3]

My friend from college had me over in the summer because we grew up nearby even though we met while away at school. One night he gets this massive whale of a woman to come by so she could show him her tits. My boy gets trucker level wasted, passes out and I end up banging this chick in the butt. She literally bled on my d1k and then a week later my college friend told me that she was offering to buy them all drinks one night if I would come down and fvck her proper. Idk why but I couldn’t rally lol.

Another college story: the women’s school nearby has a small party. We are in a hot tub. We got the look bc my boy banged this girl the night before. That chick comes up to me and says she would have a three some with me but the busted friend had to be involved. I politely declined.

High school: my mothers friends daughter tries to fvck me. She lays down on my floor in my basement and spreads her legs and the entire basement smells like rotten poon. I decline and counter with anal. She tries to sit on my d1k, can’t get it in, cries in shame and goes home.

I transferred schools in high school. I learned that the girl I took to homecoming there got fvcked by multiple guys on the soccer team one evening on the soccer field. Great way to establish my reputation.

One night get white girl wasted on some random evening in my 20’s after work solo. Stop by a pizza parlor on the way home and in like, ten minutes take a waitress home and bang her in the butt, who I guess left before I woke up. She didn’t seem super happy about how the night turned out but we never spoke after. She must have been on her own journey that evening. Not to be outdone, a month or so later I take some cougar back in there on a ‘date’.

Took some chick to a football game in the box with the girl she was babysitting in my early 20’s, she got me a sandwich and then she fvcked me that evening, which to this day I cannot believe and would be locked up for murder if my babysitter ever did this. Inexplicably, I took her to the beach a week or two later and she got my grandmother a box of Italian cookies.

 

[logicallefty]

Married a bigamist woman. When I married her she failed to tell me that she had TWO other husbands in two other states that she had not yet divorced. So I was #3. I had the marriage annulled, retro active the wedding day.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Two more.
1) Signed up to join a hiking group down in SoCal to go to Devil’s Playground. One of the hiker’s was a 21 y.o. from UNLV. I got sick and bailed. Said I was going back to Baker & would meet back up tomorrow. She offered to drive to Baker with me. When we got there. She said ‘let’s get a room.’.

2) Was at a street fair in Lafayette with my Dad. We both got drunk. He bailed. Two girls approached me. One said : ‘We wan’t to invade your space.’. They insisted I get high with them. Stuff happened.

 

[Mertz09]

Entertaining story lol. The chick from the first one is a skeezer WH0RE .

I got one for you..

About 17 years ago..

I can't remember what dating site I met her from, but I saw an attractive woman on a dating site, sent her a message and she gave me her number.

Let's call her Vicky.

Now, Vicky's profile picture was from the waist up and she was sitting.

Anyways after talking to her a couple times over the phone, she asked me would I date someone with a disability. I told her sure and didn't think much of it after that.

Anyways, we set up a time/day for her to come to my apartment.

At the appointed time, I hear a knock at the door.

I answered the door, and I see 3 women.

One of the women had an obvious disability.

That woman was Vicky.

She couldn't walk, and was paralyzed from the waist down.

I can't remember if she had a wheelchair, but her legs were impaired to whereas they were "stuck" in the Indian-style position.

I was completely caught by surprise and obvious off guard..as she had failed to tell me that she had a disability during our phone convos.

However, I did my BEST to keep my surprise hidden and invited them in.

They came in and when they came in, I observed how Vicky used her arms for mobility..not crawling, but more like flopping.

She used her arms to push her body forward..and she was swift, too.

The other two women introduced themselves as Vicky's cousins.

They just wanted to come over and meet me and check the temperature, to see if everything was on the up & up.

Looking back on it, it seemed as if they were trying to put Vicky in a situation where she can "get some".

But anyway, they eventually left.
....

So, me and Vicky went to the bedroom (the living room had ZERO furniture lol).

We talked on the bed for a while.

From a physical standpoint (disability aside) Vicky was damn near flat chested (and titties is my thang).

The plan was for her to spend the night..and the night was still young.

After a while, things began to settle..and I still needed to get this nut out..soooo lol.
...

I began to make moves on her, kissing her and sucking on her flat chested nipples.

I can tell immediately that she had very little experience with intimacy.

As welcoming as her advances was, she shivered at every touch and every move I put on her.

It was obvious that she was sensitive, EVERYWHERE.
.....

Ok, so now, my d!ck is rock hard...and I'm getting ready to smash this brawd!!!
....

So, I am laying on my side, and I grab her to lift her up to put her on top of me...so that her Indian-style legs are laying on my stomach and her puzzy had direct access to my d!ck.

(Not a bad position, actually).
...

As I said before, she is sensitive and she is anticipating the insertion..she is overcome with excitement and moaning like crazy.

I am attempting to position her body to line up with my d!ck, all while she is shaking and quivering.

As I am doing so, I just feel (and hear) a large amount of liquid on my waist.
.....

Basically, she began to inadvertently piss on herself (more like on ME) and my bed.

I was like, what the fukkkk???

If it was ¢um, I wouldn't have minded. But it was piss, and smelled like PISS!!!
....

And what to add to the chaos was, she was completely unapologetic about it.

I had to change the pissy sheets and clean the large piss stain on the mattress.
.....

It was a long, quiet, and disappointing night after that.

We hardly spoke after that, and I couldn't wait until her folks picked her up the next morning.
....

If any of you can top that, I will wait lol.

Nope. That one is hard to beat.

 

[Mertz09]

Most women I've been with were/are fixated on intercourse. But. there have been a handful who were obsessed with BJs. The most extreme was a coworker who gave me head once a week in her car in parking lot at work. She didn't want anything else. Her only stipulation was that I drink pineapple juice.

Pineapple juice??

 

[The Duke]

Pineapple juice??

It supposedly makes *** taste better. She was evidently a swallower.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I'm not much of a storyteller but I have had some notable experiences of woman either trying to cheat or trying to get me to cheat right in front of my own girl.
#1 was at a friends NYE 'party' (just me, him, and 4 other women). The women I invited, who I had just started dating, shows up, and one of the girls caresses my back right in front of her in the elevator.
#2 Eerily similiar to the previous story, I was at a party where my then-GF of 6 months female roomate stroked my back and gave me a flirty sort of look.
#3 I was jogging down the street and a woman complimented me with inappropriate enthusiasm while she walking down the street holding hands with a man.
#4 I went to a bar with friends and we were sat down at a table with a bachelorette group - the engaged woman started grabbing my c0ck under the table and wanted to go home with me. Her friends stopped her, but apparently she was perfectly willing to cheat right before getting married.
#5 unrelated to the rest, but I used to go out to bars a few nights a week for about a year with a friend to practice cold approach. We reached the point of extreme boredom and my friend started opening woman by licking their faces. None of them ever had a negative reaction to it.

Many other stories I could share about women dancing/kissing me at bars while their boyfriend were there with them, but there's not much to the stories that don't serve any purpose except gassing myself up more. Anyway, if they do this stuff out in the open what does this say about the things they do in secret?

 

[Zontyy]

1. Fresh out of college at job stayed late to update some servers that needed to be updated when no users were on. CEO of company doing cocaine of the tits of x2 women in his office. See me walking by headed towards the servers invites me in to tag team the sluts. Received double BJ and told him I really needed to get servers. Did my job and slipped out another end of the building.

2. Same CEO invites me and some other coworkers to a retreat and gets naked in the hot tub and invites some of the female coworkers and men to get naked as well I think he wanted a full on orgy. I dipped as I was 22 at the time and not my thing.

3. Single mom calls me over for some fun, she has a newborn baby maybe 2 months old. Single mom is pretty tipsy, wants me to hit it doggy style which I'm going to town. She co-sleeps with the newborn and apparently the newborn baby soiled it's diaper and as I'm doing her doggy style she moaning and getting all into it suddenly she starts mumbling how the room smells like **** and she too drunk to know why I finish and then let her know that she should change her babies diaper and then leave. I left to go hang out with some friends and she called me 2 hours later for some more. I went back and hit it again, not my proudest moment.

4. Same single mom and now proud of how large my unit is and sends it to all her other single moms friends. I stop by to hang out and her other slutty single mom nurse friend makes a comment about how well endowed I am and she really like the picture she got from single mom. She says this right in front of the single mom who I've been tapping. Slutty nurse friends wants a threesome, but single mom isn't down as she done threesomes in the past and doesn't want to lose me to some slutty nurse. Single mom and I after the slutty nurse left ends up giving me a 14 hour sex session, my d1ck is raw (after 4 hours in I popped a viagra as my penis show some signs of wear and tear). Her pu$$y was so beat up she rubbed liquid lidocaine on it to numb it up so I could keep on hitting it.

5. Same single mom I took a vacation to FL, had sex in the rental car, clearwater beach on the beach x3, on the balcony of the hotel while others watched, in the bathroom of the hotel, in the pool of the hotel. Jumped the fence of a private home/beach and got a BJ on the beach evaded police who showed up when the residence of the mansion called. Visited a sex shop down there where she gave me a BJ in front of some on lookers at the sex shop. That same sex shop she saw a giant ass dildo with a suction cup she then stole and ended up sticking it to the dash of the rental car the rest of the time we drove around FL. I still have pictures of that damn dildo on the dash hahah.

6. Got a BJ during Ramadan in a mosque from a muslim girl I used to date. She also gave me BJs in the GYM bathrooms and at the movie theater. At the movie theater some guy with his girl saw us and gave me a dirty ass look but I think he was just jealous he wasn't getting a BJ who knows. We were legit the only people in the theater that night.

 

[dark god]

Most women I've been with were/are fixated on intercourse. But. there have been a handful who were obsessed with BJs. The most extreme was a coworker who gave me head once a week in her car in parking lot at work. She didn't want anything else. Her only stipulation was that I drink pineapple juice.

I had one once back in my mid 20's..Barbra...She gave me head for a hour one time, swallowing two nutz..God bless her soul.

 

[corrector]

I think with all of my recent posts on here about escorts/fantasy, it's time to talk about a "civvie/non-escort" lady of the past. Sometimes you can be wrapped up in an incel identity that you forget crazy stories in the past. The tendency is to bury things that do not conform to a new identity, however, here are some memory pop-ups:

My ex-wife paid for a hotel so we could sleep together but I didn't go ahead with it, despite she was naked on the bed and doggie-style position, and said we should get married first (ie likely had ED issues anyway). Had a Bridal Shower with my ex-wife, jerked off and came all over her face and the semen went all over her Bridal shower dress (at the end of the shower of course). Another time I jerked-off at her naked but inside her sister's washroom and made a mess inside there (her sister did not like me, lol!) Also did some nasty stuff with her inside a Real-Estate office (ie the doors did not have locks but no one was around), where she took off her clothes and bjed me. After we got married, she was a bit more prudish and restraint compared to before the marriage but she did reward me once with a throat session after I licked her (ie which she was pushing me to do from the beginning and I was like not comfortable with that). There were times my ex-wife wanted to bj me behind the frount door before her mom walked into the house, but I refused to go that far as that would have been an awkward moment. Again, that was 2014 and that marriage ended in divorce 2-3 months afterwards.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

A few more:

1) Driving a coworker. Conversation got a bit steamy. She said : ‘pull over & I’ll give you a blow job.’

2) Was seeing a patient. Gorgeous 18 year old. She was low acuity so I had a collegue take over. As I was getting ready to leave. She said; ‘you’re good looking. can’t you stay?’
I wound up calling corporate Compliance and they OK’d me giving her my phone number.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

1. Women I never met before paid for a flight , flew to my country to spend a weekend with me.

2. Another women again I never met paid for a hotel for us and drove three and a half hours to spend the weekend with me.

3. Take photos when having se x , outdoor places , inside, wherever. Have tops on and make the photos look normal / innocent.

Those photos in frames hung in living rooms, on social media getting likes, comments from friends and family on how lovely we look.

4. One women I was seeing used to do everything I told her too. So had her doing all sorts of crazy stuff, I'd just text her a command and she would comply . Send me a video, pictures.

Didn't matter where she was or what she was doing. Could be in work , out shopping , in a restaurant, visiting family whatever.

Literally anything sexual I asked for. Even unprompted my phone would be blowing up everyday with photos, videos.

Who knew. The novelty eventually wears off after a while.

5. Another liked getting choked and spanked ridiculously hard.

6. Been told would die for me. It was 100% seriously and with complete conviction.


7. My first love drunkly broke up with me when I was about 15 on the way to a disco. I thought "that's a shame " went on a bit of a rampage in the disco and kissed 21 girls (God knows how I did it but i kept count) and felt a LOT of boobs that night too : D.

Me and me best friend worked as eachother wingmen, were swapping girls, working four girls at a time. We were all about the numbers, haha

Next day she's begging to take me back and started headbutting a brick wall, blood coming down her face when I said "no".

It was weird. First love, but that died in a heartbeat. Literally just flipped off like a light switch. I felt nothing.


8. Again around 15 again I was approached by four girls I hung out with. One girl got the three other girls to line up in front of me.

She went through the merits of each girl and asked me if I'd like to pick one.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

It was during Covid, we had rather strict rules at my place. To enjoy freedom, you had to get the f.ing shot or have documented recovery from Covid. For many people, taking the shot was out of the question and many ended up procuring spittle from infected people to get Covid or at least to fake the test result and count as infected/recovered.

I got Covid in a natural way and a colleague from work asked me if i could bottle some spittle for him and his wife

I told him no problem, he came to pick it up at my place and had his wife with him.

Invited them in an went to get the little bottle i had prepared. I handed it over to my colleague and his wife started telling me how greatful they were and was getting quite handsy.

She asked me how they could get even with me. I said, not a thing, good luck with it and started laughing due to the ridiculous situation that someone is greatful for a bottle of my spittle. Interesting times!

His wife started smiling from one ear to the other and opened up. "You know, i could svck your dyck to show how grateful i am."

My mind just blew out and i looked over to my colleague but
the guy was just standing in the room with his eyes locked on his wife, watching her closely.

Before i could muster a reply, she went on her knees and got busy. Her hubby didnt look left or right or at me, nor did he say a word, he only was intently watching his wife svck my dyck.

She did a good job and told me that now we were even and if i wanted some more i should come by any time as she would love to havemore of my fluids.

My colleague thanked me for the spittle as if nothing had happened and they left, with the wifey giving me a horny smile and wink on the way out.

It was a somewhat disturbing experience.

The guy never talked to me at work about what happened. I never would have guessed that he is THAT kind of a guy.

His wife sent me messages and tried to get me to their place but having my colleague watch while i do his wife is kinda disturbing and i politely told her that i am tempted but my wife wouldnt appreciate that.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

His wife sent me messages and tried to get me to their place but having my colleague watch while i do his wife is kinda disturbing and i politely told her that i am tempted but my wife wouldnt appreciate that.

Did your wife appreciate this woman sucking your trouser snake to thank for your spittle?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Did your wife appreciate this woman sucking your trouser snake to thank for your spittle?

I am afraid the poor woman will never find out about that incident, amongst others.