Your biggest problem is that you were a social misfit and now you're lost.

[Listen_to_Olly]

I tend to read a good bit of posts on here concerning girl problems and even observing a lot of PUA videos, alongside the crowd they draw, I noticed the elephant in the room no one really cares to address.

Being a social misfit that is lost.

Lets take the upbringing of a guy that was good with girls growing up. Chances are that in high school, he had a social circle and knew the right people. This guy played sports or had a somewhat tight knit social circle to be a part of, he was rarely that lonely on the weekends. Now this guy likely made out with some girls and slept with some in his teens.

Going on to college, this guy had a path and guidance on how to approach social life. This guy knew to rush a fraternity or whatever social thing was big at his school, that gave him a path. Everything was done for this guy and he focused on making friends, going to parties, social events, and lastly getting laid.

Now lets take the upbringing of a guy that wasn't good with girls, which in most cases was the social misfit.

While I am sure we all have that one friend who never took care of his hygiene, played MMORPGs all weekends, and ****ed the hottest girls in his area during his teens; that guy is more of an exception than the rule.

Your typical social misfit didn't have that normal social upbringing that a guy who was good with girls did. Maybe he grew up in a backwards rural area where everyone got married at 18 and sex before marriage was highly forbidden, he might have had helicopter parents (as commonly seen with immigrants and kids from conservative areas), or he might have just grown up dirt poor.

To put it bluntly, this guy wasn't the "normal" kid in the eyes of his society, American society in this situation.

So he looks for answers.

Why is he still a virgin at 18?

Why is everyone having fun but not him?

Why are so many kids his age out drinking, partying, and making out but not him?

Why does he not have those social and dating opportunities?

Then he runs into some clowns who tell him maybe he should cold approach a girl and "KINO" her, after all, some wacky pickup artist did it in a youtube video so that's the way to go right? But he is inexperienced so if he does do it, it comes off as creepy and if the area is a small one then he ruins his social reputation if there ever was one.

Even worse, the same wacky pickup artist tells him being a "misfit" is cool so this guy keeps going down the wrong path.

Maybe he is not "masculine" enough.

Perhaps it's the angle at which he is looking at girls.

Maybe he needs an "inner game" lesson.

No, the answer is simple, he is a social misfit.

I am sure guys on here will glorify being a "misfit" and bring up Einstein and Tesla, well Einstein and Tesla did not get a lot of quality puss like some rich fraternity guy at a party school.

Normal people meet and hookup this way. Normal people meet, ****, date, and do all that through being a part of a social circle or meeting in that sort of a setting. A lot of normal people have mutual friends, they know some of the same people, and they feel each other out.

Guys that are good with girls and get hot girls, they don't spam approach in the hopes of getting *****, wacky pickup artists do that and normal people think they are weird, these guys get damaged and ugly girls in most cases.

Guys that are good with girls have a good social life, they have male friends they can rely on, they go where the fun is and are a part of it, and they are not social misfits that stick out in a bad way.

All of that depression and anger you're feeling, especially for you younger guys out there, it's because you are a social misfit and that needs to be fixed.

 

[Serenity]

Was I a social misfit? Yes. Am I that anymore? No. Was it hard to simply communicate (socialize) with other human beings? No, they're just as awkward as anyone really.

Social misfits are misfits because they think so themselves, nobody else cares.

 

[Trump]

I don't know about that bro, think you are looking for a scapegoat here.

I was a social misfit, I've been out with Maxim models and other really good looking girls no problem. Just have to be relaxed and not take things too seriously.

 

[Serenity]

I don't know about that bro, think you are looking for a scapegoat here.

I was a social misfit, I've been out with Maxim models and other really good looking girls no problem. Just have to be relaxed and not take things too seriously.

The universal law of dating any woman should be "do not do it as if your life depends upon it". THE main problem is thinking oneself is inferior compared to the other sex and assuming one has to massively impress. That is the mindset of at least 70% of males, which is retarded. Any woman who makes a man feel like sh!t is complete garbage.

Too many guys care too much. I have a girlfriend and I can honestly say life is not that much different. It is good though, but I wouldn't be a broken man without her.

 

[dustmuffin]

I think the main problem is that most men cater to women. Kiss their a ss and what not. Even if you are a social misfit you can learn to be a confident, masculine male. You just have to want want to change.

I have no social circle. I spend most of time with my boys. Am I lonely? No....I have learned to be alone. It suits me just fine. I get plenty of dates. A social circle might be more important for the younger DJ. It just isn't important to me.

Just got back from f ucking a woman who claims to be an alpha female. I think she is in love with me. IDC, it makes no difference. I set up a date with a woman on sunday that just wants to come over and f uck. I will probably have a date saturday too.

Point is, it doesn't matter what you were in the past. Strive to become the man you want to be. Don't dwell on the past. Look forward to the future.

 

[logicallefty]

Those who were lucky enough to naturally look good and/or be surrounded by good influential people were probably the popular folks in high school. Those with average or lower looks and/or little or no good influences were probably the 'misfits'. Let's face it; was the ugly fat kid ever prom king? I liked about half of the experience I had with hs and the rest was a joke. I knew it then and I know it now.

The good news is that none of that matters now. Handle/manage your life now like you and only you want it. Keep those who respect you and add value to your life in your circle. Ditch those who show you disrespect. Learn to love yourself, be as self sufficient as possible, and to want women but not need them. Never stop improving. Do these you will become king of the only thing that matters now; your life.

 

[playa99]

The key is in how you think. Do you think you are a social misfit? or do you think your a Don Juan?

Your actions are a manifestation of your beliefs. Just belief isn't enough though, you need some intuition & the knowledge to help you succeed.

In SS members case the knowledge is contained within the DJ Bible & advice from fellow members on here.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

All of that depression and anger you're feeling, especially for you younger guys out there, it's because you are a social misfit and that needs to be fixed

I agree with the premise of the post.

The only thing I would amend is this last assumption.

It's important to understand what came first, the chicken or the egg. For me, the number one greatest barrier standing between men and success of almost any kind is their own emotional reactions.

The question being, which arises first; an emotive response, or social inadequacy?

For me, it's the emotional response(s) which both ignites and continues to feed the social awkwardness. In fact the only two instances of social awkwardness I can imagine is either reacting with emotion, or not understanding the tastes of one's audience.

Long story short, turn the (negative) emoting down to zero, understand and embrace the audience; no longer be a social misfit.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I had tons of friends in high school. Literally built myself up from not knowing anyone there lol. Had a huge squad of about 21 people not including me. The inner circle of our squad was comprised of me and 5 others dudes. We did all sorts of crazy fun **** together. It was my friends bday once, and on end of our guys on the inner circle felt bad that we only had like 6 people playing soccer together. He gets our whole squad, plus another 23 ppl I didn't really know. We had 44 kids on the field for like 6 hours. We had a social life from a social circle that got so huge, it literally turned into an hierarchy. It collapsed once I left apparently lol, but that's besides the point.

None of us ever got laid from our circle. We never really met any chicks through each other, it was just sort of like spontaneous. We weren't bad looking guys either. Maybe some acne on some of us, but for the most part we were all decent to good looking and dressed really well. Some of the guys would get drunk every weekend. Some of them had connections to the hardcore partiers (the type that every weekend only threw parties that had booze, weed, and got busted a lot of times). Yet despite all this, none of us got really got laid. We were NOT social misfits, yet we still weren't out getting *****. I'd say most of my friends were virgins before I transferred schools. Having a great social life isn't everything. Those guys were just one of two main social circles I was in too.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

yup, thats why its obvious OP has let his negative opinion of himself cloud his judgment. I was the same way in high school, two sport athlete, lots of friends especially male but just clueless with women. Similar in college. Even the guys I knew in frats often never got laid.

Yeah I mean it's not always true what he said. It's pretty much just the stereotype of high school kids in the 80s and 90s were. It's not like that anymore. I understand the point he is trying to make though. The biggest issue I have with the post is just that he says 'you are a social misfit. Fix it. ' and he doesn't say how to. It literally is just a post insulting people lol

 

[SuckItUp]

It's not really that simple. Part of becoming a man is understanding your shortfalls and correcting them. Another part is realizing that you need to filter opinions and understand those that you value.

Everyone is different so the remedy is going to be different, but the attraction triggers for women aren't too variable. That's why advice is being provided it's given in a general sense rather immense detail.

To get in the game a guy needs to man up and face his issues/problems first otherwise no amount of game will be sustainable long term.

Hence the focus on inner game.

Part of developing inner game is understanding social convention and understanding nuance and subtlety in behaviors. The other part is learning to let go and understand that we make mistakes.

There is no such thing as 100% successful PUA. They fail like everyone else but the succeed at greater rates because they are masters of preselection and filtering. They understand what women are pointless to approach and they can spot areas of weakness they can take advantage of with women to increase their chances. They also understand subcommunication like a virtuoso.

 

[ubercat]

Bloody hell that isn't going to give the socially awkward much hope. It's really not that hard. You don't have to be some psychological genius to catch the bus to pvssy town If you are masculine and lead women and know how to escalate physically you'll get laid. The main variable in how often is how many woman you approach. Women like variety and excitement.

It's actually harder to build up a circle of good friends. As long as you ask plenty of questions and keep the focus on learninging about the other person it's just a matter of turning up regularly to events

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

Those who were lucky enough to naturally look good and/or be surrounded by good influential people were probably the popular folks in high school. Those with average or lower looks and/or little or no good influences were probably the 'misfits'. Let's face it; was the ugly fat kid ever prom king? I liked about half of the experience I had with hs and the rest was a joke. I knew it then and I know it now.

The good news is that none of that matters now. Handle/manage your life now like you and only you want it. Keep those who respect you and add value to your life in your circle. Ditch those who show you disrespect. Learn to love yourself, be as self sufficient as possible, and to want women but not need them. Never stop improving. Do these you will become king of the only thing that matters now; your life.

It isn't nearly as much about looks as you may think it is, outside of extreme outliers like the ugly fat kid that played MMOs, smelled like trash, and never took care of himself. Most of it was just about lucking into the right social circles.

As for your second paragraph, it does matter if you want hot girls or to be the guy that regularly gets hot girls. That's where everyone here gets it wrong, hot girls never graduate high school and by that I mean never. As long as they are hot, popularity and status are mattering. You can improve all you want but don't be surprised if the overweight bartender is getting more hot girls than you.

That's what so many guys miss and still end up making it in life but lacking hot girls in their lives, because they still give hot girls too much credit. Hot girls NEVER graduate high school, so popularity and status matter well after it and being a social misfit is of no benefit.

Now if you want to earn money and not get hot girls then that's good but if you do, you have to be a master of social perception.

 

[9Volt]

These social misfits get lost in their own bedrooms.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

It isn't nearly as much about looks as you may think it is, outside of extreme outliers like the ugly fat kid that played MMOs, smelled like trash, and never took care of himself. Most of it was just about lucking into the right social circles.

As for your second paragraph, it does matter if you want hot girls or to be the guy that regularly gets hot girls. That's where everyone here gets it wrong, hot girls never graduate high school and by that I mean never. As long as they are hot, popularity and status are mattering. You can improve all you want but don't be surprised if the overweight bartender is getting more hot girls than you.

That's what so many guys miss and still end up making it in life but lacking hot girls in their lives, because they still give hot girls too much credit. Hot girls NEVER graduate high school, so popularity and status matter well after it and being a social misfit is of no benefit.

Now if you want to earn money and not get hot girls then that's good but if you do, you have to be a master of social perception.

Ok I'm sorry but I disagree with this post on so many levels. Tons of hot people graduate high school. Tons of people who had great social circles graduated high school. Tons of smart AND hot AND socially aware people graduated high school. Shoot, I knew this one kid in my school who was a wrestler. 2nd place in state his sophomore year, and state champion junior and senior year. The kid was on the national team since 8th grade at the latest. Took all AP and/or honors classes. Had a perfect GPA, even showed me too.

And there are tons of hot babes I know who graduated. In fact there are more girls than guys who graduate, because the intellectual capabilities of women are around equal (XX chromosome vs XY on males, hence why men are smarter AND dumber than women lol). I know of some ugly chicks who didn't graduate actually.... Listen dude, your logic is so flawed to the point where your rationalizations are similar to that of Elliot Rodgers. I understood the first post, but this is too far and goes under EXTREME generalizations.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

Wtf..

When I said that I meant mentally, not actually. A lot of hot girls keep caring about status and popularity well after graduating high school and even college, the same popularity games continue in the real world.

 

[Mike32ct]

Wtf..

When I said that I meant mentally, not actually. A lot of hot girls keep caring about status and popularity well after graduating high school and even college, the same popularity games continue in the real world.

I knew exactly what you meant.

The status and popularity game continues into adulthood and into the work world. It's much more subtle and not so "in your face" as in high school, but it's still there in a different form.

 

[AlexKaiser]

I really have no idea how to take the OP.

My biggest problem is that I was a social misfit and I am lost, eh? Lost how?

A long time ago I used to look at my classmates, one in particular who won over this girl I crushed on in highschool Art class, a high-status blonde girl in a native school with rich parents. He fingered her in front of me when we were watching an Audrey Hepburn movie. Weird ass way to start a story, wtf-ever. I sat there racking my brain on how that ever worked. If I tried it I'd go to jail, get laughed at as I was being pushed into the back of the car while he made her *** on the yellow seat, THE ONLY ONE I ACTUALLY LIKED SITTING IN BECAUSE LOL MY SCHOOL CANT AFFORD NEW CHAIRS, and now it's got Liz's joy juices all over it, so that sucks.
I could let that destroy me, lament my lack of cowboy and skateboarder friends, whip my back and curse myself for being a beta boy, while the basketball stars had the cheerleader girls speckle all around them, or I could take the advice that I got from this very site, and move the **** on.

I am NOT going to be a silent beta boy anymore. If I see a girl I like, I am NOT going to pander to her, dream about her from afar and try to articulate ways to worship her, and hope that someday, she floats from her thone and blesses me with a kiss or a romantic tender love-making session. Nah, I'm climbing up to that throne and telling her "the hell you doing in MY spot?" and then shooing her off of it. Because I can't just pick her up and THROW HER OFF OF THE PEDESTAL. I'll screw up her back, and she won't be able to get into most of my favorite positions, and her screaming in agony while I'm drilling her from behind will give my neighbors the wrong ideas.

I was lost. I used to think I wasn't about **** and never was, because I didn't start off as a John Wayne wannabe, or a misfit skateboarder bedding girls who want to piss off their daddies, or because I didn't finger Liz in the art room when I was a freshman. I'm not anymore.

My biggest problem now, is making sure I actually apply the things I've learned here in real life, and avoid nice-guying like the plague. I get urges to pander and worship girls all the time. Even this recent one I acquired a phone number from, Lena. She hinted about this watch she really liked, and wished she could buy. Before, old me would've bought her that watch hoping it might get me a lay. NOT THIS NEW MUFUKA. She buying that watch herself. That, or I'll go one up.

I'm buying that watch for myself just to spite her. Be like "Yeah that watch is good, but it would look better on me."

Youre trying to pass off a picture of your sister from her high school prom in the gym while you cry your eyes out foreveralone in your childhood bedroom posting on SS.

Stop it son.

Please, that's not his sister, that's MY sister.

Who needs to spin plates when you have siblings?

 

[Trainwreck]

I'm a social misfit, so what do I do?

 

[AlexKaiser]

I'm a social misfit, so what do I do?

How MUCH of a social misfit?

Like dakimakura using, 300 pound, mom won't let you do things on your own, misfit?