Your Best Mate Lies To You

[Tomatoes]

Long post but could do with some advise.

Ok....As it says in the title. I am someone who always belives in the truth with friends and family. I am very serious on this....My friends and family know this...

A few examples are that I openly told my mum and dad i smoked weed when they asked if i did any drugs....Cud have lied and had them find out and they would have been pissed. Instead i told them and they didnt mind as I respected them enought to tell the truth.

Another example was with an ex girlfriend. She had strict parents. So we lied to her parents saying she was at a friends house. I then went and TOLD my parents that we had lied to her parents and let them in on the situation. They didnt agree but respected once again that we trusted them. They plainly said "We didnt know if they find out".

So....as you can see I have been brought up the same way. If someone tells me the truth whatever it is...its better than any lie. I am quite a paranoid person too so I find out liars! My friends know this!

Anyways last night I rang my best mate (and wing) and asked what was going off as I had just finished a game of poker with some mates. He said him and a girl he was with (who i knew) were going to one of our friends house. I asked if i could come.

He said he would call her and ring me back. He then rang me back and said she said no. I was like....hmm....doesnt make sense as I was at that girls house all the prev night and she was talking to me most the time. I asked for her number. He gave me it but it was incorrect. He got the last digit wrong even thow i double checked it with him. I then went round her house....She knew nothing about me wanting to come over. (She was telling the truth) My mate and wing then got wind that was going round hers....i dont think he knew i was already there. He sent me a text saying "I just convinced her to let you come round". I was at her house with her already!

When he turned up he said Hey. I just told him to fvck off basically. I then told someone to tell him not to speak to me or bad things would happen. I then blanked him all night. Left him out of convos. AMOG'd him big time. Bastard shouldnt have lied.

How do you think I should respond to this treachary.

I was thinking of telling him we can remain friends but I have no respect or trust for him.

"Lie once and you can lie a million times"
Imput please!

Sarge On!

 

[Phyzzle]

He then rang me back and said she said no.

Who said no? The chick he was with or the friend whose house he was going to? WTF is going on with this story?

What's wrong here is that you let yourself be reduced to asking your buddy for a chick's number.

If you know her so well, why didn't you have her number already?

 

[Tomatoes]

Who said no? The chick he was with or the friend whose house he was going to? WTF is going on with this story?

What's wrong here is that you let yourself be reduced to asking your buddy for a chick's number.

If you know her so well, why didn't you have her number already?

She has recently changed her number. I aint got the new one.

He said she said no (friend at house) in the way im not allowed over when he rang her to see if I could go round......He never rang her thow. He just said he did and told me no.

I thought i made all that pretty obious....

 

[Phyzzle]

He never rang her thow. He just said he did and told me no.

And how do you know that he did not?

Did the chick say so?

But if you're guy friend could tell a falsehood . . . couldn't the chick?

OOOOHHH, didn't think of that did you?

I mean, the chick friend is NOT gonna tell you to your face that you're not welcome. She would definitely lie if you actually showed up.

I'm just speculating on the little info I have. Is there more to it I don't know?

 

[Tomatoes]

And how do you know that he did not?

Did the chick say so?

But if you're guy friend could tell a falsehood . . . couldn't the chick?

OOOOHHH, didn't think of that did you?

I mean, the chick friend is NOT gonna tell you to your face that you're not welcome. She would definitely lie if you actually showed up.

I'm just speculating on the little info I have. Is there more to it I don't know?

Ofcorse i thought of that! I have more than 1 person saying he never made the call with no motives for either to lie

 

[Phyzzle]

How would more than 1 person actually know about what phone calls your female freind received?

So there's more than 1 person keeping track of your female freind's phone conversations? That's . . . pretty wierd.

I'm just saying: if it's "he said she said" crap, how do KNOW that what SHE SAID is the truth?

 

[Tomatoes]

How would more than 1 person actually know about what phone calls your female freind received?

So there's more than 1 person keeping track of your female freind's phone conversations? That's . . . pretty wierd.

I'm just saying: if it's "he said she said" crap, how do KNOW that what SHE SAID is the truth?

People in the room with him. People in the room with her. One of the people in the room with her doesnt even like her and he said she said I could go over....She wasnt lying....Trust me....Plus when I got their and found out...My mate realised i was going round and sent me a text saying I just convinced her to let you go round...i was already round her house for a good 15 mins before i got the text and she was talking to me...So when did he convince her? He didnt....he was trying to cover his own tracks.

Anyways....Off topic....i know he lied...

What next. I dont feel i can trust him. I had 100% trust in him but he has just lost it all by betraying me.

 

[Phyzzle]

one of the people in the room with her doesnt even like her and he said she said I could go over....

If "he" doesn't even like "her", why is "he" in the room with "her"?

And she told him, completely out of the blue, that it was okay for Tomatoes to come over? Why would she suddenly say that to some guy in the room who doesn't even like her?

:crazy:

Eh?

?

Man, you need to start over.

What did you see and hear? You yourself?

No 2rd and 3rd hand gossip drama BullShyt.

 

[Tomatoes]

nevermind.....your trying to find motive....I already know he lied. I just am asking for advice on what to do next.

Whether I should even talk to him.....Last night I didnt want to be near him.

Anyways I have pursued advice threw other channels and i think i already know what im going to do...

Your opinions are still welcome if its regarding what should be done. Not if you are trying to argue things I already know.


Once again. Sosuave is sohelpful......**cough**

 

[Phyzzle]

It's tough to make yourself clear by text without using any names.

It all "he said that she wasn't going over to her house where she told that one guy who said . . . "

Dude, you need to ask those kinda questions to your friends - the ones who are aren't liars! LOL!

 

[Tomatoes]

It's tough to make yourself clear by text without using any names.

It all "he said that she wasn't going over to her house where she told that one guy who said . . . "

Dude, you need to ask those kinda questions to your friends - the ones who are aren't liars! LOL!

To make it basic......My best mate/Wing lied to me....It was about nothing important but he still lied.

He had my 100% trust before yesterday....

What do you think is the best retort..

In basics...

 

[Delta]

everybody lies. people lie without it even registering as a lie.

if you only keep those people who never lie. you're not going to be left with anyone.

and if you yourself NEVER lie, then you can probably look forward to a VERY difficult life.

hell, and there are plenty of good reasons, in all kinds of life situations, when it is appropriate to lie - right through your teeth. some may say it's toning it down or softening the blow - whatever - all euphemisms. LIES. it is the fabric of life.
-----------------------------------------------------------
but in this specific case, you weren't only lied to, you were screwed over.

so CONFRONT HIM. ask him WTF. and have it out. see what's up. and not with the entire weight of your "anti-lying policy of life" but just the simple fact that he lied to you and that's not cool. and if he has a completely indefensible position and is unapologetic to boot, then that friendship is gone right?

pretty straight forward.

kinda like wondering, "does she like me?", when the most straightforward thing is to ask her out.

in this case, just call him on it and have the big fight.

delta

p.s. nobody is perfect. to stick to this ultra fundamentalist standard of no lies ever is unrealistic simply because human beings are fallible. there are lots of times when lying is APPROPRIATE and i stand by that. but even when the lie is not necessary - hey, people fvck up.

nobody can stand up to a standard of perfection. not me, not you, not anybody. if someone genuinely hurt you then you might have to end a relationship. but if it's a fvck up and they're sorry about it... hey... everybody fvcks up.

 

[Phyzzle]

Hypothetically, if my best mate were to lie to me like that, then there wouldn't be any use in calling him up and pointing it out.

The time for witty retorts is over (as usual).

Sad thing is, he was polite to you. He politely let you know he doesn't want you around anymore.

There are only 2 reasons for not wanting you there:
1. He thought you would somehow detract from his game with the current chick he was gaming (which doesn't sound likely, at a gathering with lots of people.)

2. He's completely sick of you.

Don't be a prck to him. He wasn't a prck to you. It was only a little white lie to a FORMER friend from his point of view.

All you shoud do is ignore him for here on out. There is no sort of "retort" that won't leave you looking silly.

 

[Tomatoes]

Hypothetically, if my best mate were to lie to me like that, then there wouldn't be any use in calling him up and pointing it out.

The time for witty retorts is over (as usual).

Sad thing is, he was polite to you. He politely let you know he doesn't want you around anymore.

There are only 2 reasons for not wanting you there:
1. He thought you would somehow detract from his game with the current chick he was gaming (which doesn't sound likely, at a gathering with lots of people.)

2. He's completely sick of you.

Don't be a prck to him. He wasn't a prck to you. It was only a little white lie to a FORMER friend from his point of view.

All you shoud do is ignore him for here on out. There is no sort of "retort" that won't leave you looking silly.

Nah. Reason 1 is correct....He knows that I am a threat when it comes to gaming as he knows im better at it. The girl he was with he is trying to pull (I have already slept with her but heh )

He should still have just said "Tomatoes, Im going to go after HB tonight and i would prefer it if you were not around as a distraction." I would have said "Go for it mate. Tell me how it goes tomorrow". Job done.....no lying needed.

Your right Delta. People do lie....I lie. But not to my close friends and family...I lie to everyone else if needed....but not the ones i trust.

The thing that annoys me is my mate knows where i stand on lying and he knows that he could just tell me the truth and i would respect it more.

Im going to meet him face to face tonight...Talk it out. See WHY he felt he needed to lie. As for my trust for him....Its gone. I wont wing with him or respect his opinions more than any random person. My trust is a very hard thing to earn....a very easy thing to lose.


Sarge On!

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Pretty the same happened to me once,he's just afraid you'll AMOG him..again