Your best friend tells you to lay off and let him have a girl, what do you do?

[petah2001]

This happened to me just a few hours ago. I was downtown at a club with my best friend and a few dozen strangers. I immediately notice one girl checking me out, and I eye her up a bit. I then pull a bit of communication and a little bit of kino but without getting her onto the dancefloor. After awhile we all go for shots before hitting the dancefloor (I've already been on the floor a few times, scouting the scene), and that's when my best friend pulls me over and says "she's mine". I instantly feel dissapointed because I never want to fight over a girl with my best friend and at the same time I wish my friend layed off a little because I have serious potential on the dancefloor with this chick.

What I did is I layed off as my friend asked. When we got to the dancefloor the two of them hit it off but I could tell that she also wanted to dance with me. I resisted. Eventually she lost all interest in me and the two of them hit it off ok. I left the club with them sitting alone so I have no idea how it went. How would have you handled this situation? I am a bit pissed because I had a genuine interest in this girl and I think she had an interest in me. I'm going to tell my friend he really owes me one.

BTW I set a new personal DJ record tonight. Every single woman in the club was a stranger to me but I danced with over 8 of them. Atleast I'm proud of that.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Fvck that. He just jacked your potential lay! What kinda friend is that? He had no claim on her. You saw her first, you went and talked to her, you got her to come along with your group for shots. WTF?! I'd have laughed in my "friend's" face as I took the girl away to isolate her.

Tell him if he wants a girl, go find one just like you did. Asshat.

 

[Lust]

This happened to me just a few hours ago. I was downtown at a club with my best friend and a few dozen strangers. I immediately notice one girl checking me out, and I eye her up a bit. I then pull a bit of communication and a little bit of kino but without getting her onto the dancefloor. After awhile we all go for shots before hitting the dancefloor (I've already been on the floor a few times, scouting the scene), and that's when my best friend pulls me over and says "she's mine". I instantly feel dissapointed because I never want to fight over a girl with my best friend and at the same time I wish my friend layed off a little because I have serious potential on the dancefloor with this chick.

What I did is I layed off as my friend asked. When we got to the dancefloor the two of them hit it off but I could tell that she also wanted to dance with me. I resisted. Eventually she lost all interest in me and the two of them hit it off ok. I left the club with them sitting alone so I have no idea how it went. How would have you handled this situation? I am a bit pissed because I had a genuine interest in this girl and I think she had an interest in me. I'm going to tell my friend he really owes me one.

BTW I set a new personal DJ record tonight. Every single woman in the club was a stranger to me but I danced with over 8 of them. Atleast I'm proud of that.

Even though he is your "best" friend, you have to be the alpha.

Let him know the boundaries.

If he comes along and say "She's mine", I'd say "Too slow" and walk right up to her, and game her like nuts.

He didn't make the initial contact, you did, you're right, he does owe you one, and you better fvcking let him know it.

 

[petah2001]

I think I agree with both of you guys quite a bit. At the time I just really didn't feel like risking a friendship for a girl but in retrospect, it's also up to me to let my friend know when he's being a douche. I'm not gonna let him forget that one.

 

[Ratisson]

what a d1ck. What u should have done was wait until he left her for a couple minutes (ie. when he goes to the bathroom) and then quickly ask for her phone number. But thats not a friend. He knew she was into u and he went and spoiled the fun.

 

[Juan_Man]

It depends. If you are the type of guy who gets girls left and right and he's usually the guy that doesn't get the girl, then I would concede and let him have a bone. But if you guys have equal macking skills, then all's fair in love and war.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Funny when your best friend takes advantage of you because he's your best friend. However, you did show that you were truly his best friend, make sure that you let him know that and not to take advantage of it. There will always be other women available but so will guys who are willing to be best friends with you.

BTW, congratulations for mingling and getting out on the floor with several women. It's one of the best marketing tools that you can do.

 

[BacardiGuy]

Tell him that night was a freebie, and that you aren't going to do the work for him from now on, so that if he wants a girl, he can get them interested on his own.

 

[TheLazy]

tell him a girl is fair game and may the better man win.

 

[DJ4Life]

personally i would choose friendship over chicks any day, if i knew he wanted that chick, i would never go for her

but friendship is mutual, so if i am willing to treat him that way, i would expect him to do the same thing for me if he knows i am into this girl

 

[PRMoon]

I say there's nothing wrong with a little friendly competition. Especially if it's in a club over some random chic. I would of had a side bar discussion with my friend as to why he's pressing so hard for that one specfically especially if' you'd already put in some work.

The conditions of this though should be that she's the ONLY girl in the club you're interested in. If you were doing your thing with 7 other girls then being fixated on one that your friend wants shouldn't be a priority. If you have game then spread it on. Plenty of tail to go around.

 

[realsmoothie]

Does this guy typically get any? Becuase if he's not, and you're dancing with eight different chicks, I'd give her to him.

It's not like she's particular, anyhow... she'd take either one of you.

But if he's just being a d*ckwad, then yeah, I'd be pissed.

 

[Thomas94305]

I agree with what the others said. You can set down a rule.. the person who opens a gal or a set owns the gal/set. If it's a set, then the opener gets choice for being the alpha, the wing gets second pick for supporting as a wing...

If he'd continue insisting choice of gals you open, I'd say.. "why don't we just club at different places, and do friends stuff outside of clubs?" He's free to have at it, you're not cutting him off for anything, you're respecting yourself and not letting him be a jerk to you.. etc. He'd realize very quickly that he needs you to open, loosen up situations, etc. If he then wants to learn from you on how to open, then you might get into that as friends.

Good luck

 

[spesmilitis]

Why did that guy say 'she's mine'?

Did they interact before? Did he know you were really interested in the girl, or did you he think it was just another girl you were gamming?

If you're a stud, and he doesn't get girls often, then I would let it go cuz its one of his few chances.

However, if he didn't interact with that chick before, and he knew you were interested in her, the 'best-friend' status just got dropped a few notches to just 'decent friends'. You shouldn't let girls come in between friendships, but in that situation, it wasn't about the girl, he was disrespecting you.

 

[Chemistry]

We had one of our mates do something similar recently...

He met this chick at a party one of our friends had hosted... a few nights before one of our mates had got with this chick at a bar in town, with no long-term intentions... but then at the party this dude tried to stake claim to her, but in the end I took her and her friends to another bar in town and I did my thing, lol... anyway at the New Year our dude totally sold us out... we got some hotel rooms at one of the top hotels in town and invited him over then he disappeared to meet this girl and wouldn't bring her up to the party... we get downstairs to the hotel bar and he's there practically wifed up with this girl... arm round her, letting nobody near her... so we fvck up his game, lol... she goes for a walk with the dude whose party it was, lol, and this dude is going nuts...

But yea, point is... this dude tried to call tabs on a girl who was fair game... then he went about it all shiftily so he lost sooooo many respect points on that and showed his true colours... he'll learn the hard way... this girl is already kinda scandalous anyway because she has a BF, and she's been playing, lol... just he's not in the country at the minute... but when he's back in our boy is gonna be calling us up but his calls will be falling on deaf ears...

I say you've learnt about your boy nice and early... express your displeasure with his attitude and let him know that that kinda **** is not cool... give him a chance and if it continues then ditch him

 

[BlackJackal]

You crazy man. Aint know way he would've got me to give up potential. You hit it off with her first, you should've staked your claim. He basically rode your coattails to get this girl. Friend or not never let another man eat off your plate.

 

[petah2001]

Neither me nor my best friend are very big studs but I usually tend to have an edge at clubs. I don't think he's conjured up the courage to dance with a stranger yet (which is something I've only been capable of doing for a month now).

Anyways I got a call from my friend yesterday and his first words were "Are you dissapointed?"
Me: No not really, but you owe me one
Him: What? Why?
Me: That girl man.
Him: What about the girl
Me: You told me to back off so I did
Him: What? I totally did not say that

Okay so here's what happened. I did not paraphrase earlier, he literally pulled me aside and his exact enthusiastic words were "She's mine!"

Me: Yeah man, remember when you said "She's mine"
Him: But you weren't even dancing with her!
Me: I wasn't dancing with her because you told me to back off!
Him: Oh man I'm soooo sorry I didn't mean it that way... Hey man are you really angry
Me: Not REALLY angry but man you own me big time

I think I'll cut it off there. The rest are little details. My friend is usually honest so I would trust him in this case, but he could also be covering up his tracks by being an idiot instead of a douchebag.

BTW, he opened the convo with "are you dissapointed?" because I left the club early and walked across town by myself.

 

[Juan_Man]

No offense, but your friend sounds like a douche.

 

[Jay Jay]

My Best Friend An I have Had Similar Arguments Many A Time.

We lived together and hung out all the time. Basically we found that we were fishing from the same pool.

We are still best friends but here are some of the things we went thru.

1. We almost stopped being friends when a girl I was dating told me he tried to kiss her at a party we thru together. He had other girls at the time, she was my only option. I had a choice... I stopped seeing HER.

2. He went to call a chick I'd been gaming, I told him that, as he had other options, she was mine. We had a fight. He called her. She knew he had other girls and avoided both of us from then.

3. I dated a girl he had slept with and introduced me to.... She started bad mouthing him and I ****ed her off.

4. He wanted to **** my first love when she broke up with her LTBF. I said that he couldn't. He said "but you two were over ten years ago." Even tho I didn't like her anymore I ****ed her just so he couldn't.

5. He organised a double date with this girl he liked, her friend and me. I tried to get the girl he liked. She is now the mother of his children... and my other best friend.

He and I have been through thick and thin together. We would die for each other. When we have had no home we have given the other shelter. We have both taken the last cent we had out of the bank to help the other. There is nothing I would not trust him with.

But we almost stopped being friends a number of times because of girls.

I learned.

Now my wing (a different dude... my best friend is now happily settled) and I openly tell each other who has dibs on what girls. We know who is off limits and we happily pass our girls on to each other when we are ready for new challenges. When one of us has laid down a claim we do everything we can to help him get her even of we want her for ourselves...

jj